Another round of contract negotiations. He anticipates their approach like the footsteps of bailiffs on the stairs, their imminence presaging no good.
Hal Roach has their next picture lined up.
Scotland and India, Hal Roach tells him. Kilts. We may even run with that as a title.
He knows what it is about. He has read the treatment.
Well? says Hal Roach. What do you think?
What he thinks is that Hal Roach is still preventing him from settling his contract at the same time as Babe.
What he thinks is that the proposed new contract is worse than the old.
What he thinks is that this is picture-making by diktat.
What he thinks is that Hal Roach continues to nurse a grudge from Babes in Toyland.
What he thinks is that he’s still paying Lois half his salary, and the half that remains to him isn’t enough.
What he thinks is that he may soon be marrying—in a second ceremony, and therefore for the second time—the wrong woman.
What he thinks is that the best of his career may already be over, and all that is left is decline.
What he thinks is that Hal Roach wants him gone.
But what he says is:
—I don’t like it very much.
What Hal Roach thinks is that this is not going to happen again.
Well, says Hal Roach, then we have a problem.
He consults with Ben Shipman. Ben Shipman suggests that obstruction may not be the ideal approach to negotiating with Hal Roach. He informs Ben Shipman that he is not negotiating.
A negotiation, he tells Ben Shipman, involves discussion. It requires give and take. Hal Roach negotiates like Mussolini.
Hal’s not that bad, says Ben Shipman.
—Have you met Mussolini?
Ben Shipman admits that he has not.
—Then let’s not jump to conclusions.
He arrives at the lot, and is directed to Henry Ginsberg’s office. He believes that Henry Ginsberg should have a bowl of water and a towel before him, just so Henry Ginsberg can wash his hands after the deed is done.
Like Pilate, except Pilate took no pleasure in what was accomplished.
We have presented you with a new contract, says Henry Ginsberg.
—It’s not satisfactory.
Henry Ginsberg ignores him. Like Bill Seiter, Henry Ginsberg prefers to work from a script. No improvisation is permissible.
—We have also given you details of the next motion picture under your existing contract.
—Which isn’t satisfactory either.
—Without a long-term contract agreement, work cannot proceed on the motion picture in question. As a consequence of this, and your refusal to commit to the scheduled motion picture, we regard you as being in breach of your existing contract.
This is nimble footwork, he thinks, and no mistake.
—Which means?
—Which means we’re terminating your employment. You’re fired. Please be off the lot within the hour.