Ding dong.
One dull afternoon, Danny answered the door.
‘Hi,’ said the green-haired girl stood grinning on the front step, a camera hung from round her neck.
‘Er, hello.’ Not recognizing her, he waited for her to say what she wanted.
Instead, she leaned to one side then the other, glancing round him for a better view of the hallway. ‘So, you inviting me in, or am I supposed to stand here like a plant pot?’
‘Er, no. Of course not. Come in.’
She brushed past him forcefully, saying, ‘I would’ve done anyway.’
‘So this is the new home? Not as cool as Annette’s but it has a certain opulence.’ The girl stood in the hallway’s centre, gazing up, down and around.
Danny closed the door, and watched her, assuming her to be a scientist friend of Teena’s.
She lifted a vase from the small table by the stairs and studied it. This vase Minoan?’
‘No idea.’
‘Is that urn Roman?’
‘No idea.’
‘Is that Sphinx Sumerian?’
‘No idea.’
‘Is that lamp Lalique?’
‘No idea.’
‘Is that painting a Lichtenstein?’
‘No idea.’
‘You’ve really got this place sussed, haven’t you, Dan?’
‘I know where the brooms are kept.’
‘Are they gold plated?’
‘I’ve never seen them.’
‘This place must be worth millions,’ she said studying the ceiling and its security cameras. ‘Whatever you’ve done, no way do you deserve a house like this while I’m stuck in a hovel.’
‘Do I know you?’
‘Funny, Danny, really funny.’ She put the vase back, then scrutinized one of Teena’s wall photos. ‘This the sensational Dr Rama then? She’s okay I suppose, a bit beautiful mutant but that’d appeal to the shallow mind – same as the pierced nipple.’
‘She has a pierced nipple?’
‘You haven’t noticed? What kind of heterosexual are you?’
‘She wears clothing in my presence,’ he said.
‘I’m sure she wears clothing in most people’s presence. What’s that got to do with the price of bread?’
‘So how would I know about piercing?’
‘Danny, look at her. Look at that face. Any woman’ll tell you it’s a face that owns a nipple ring.’
He studied the photo closely, unable to see anything in the face that would give such a clue. ‘You’re sure?’
‘Sure I’m sure. What kind of psychologist do you take me for? It’ll be a small ring, not large, through the left nipple. Silver. Gold would be vulgar. It’ll be undecorated but nicely polished. On special occasions, such as award ceremonies, she wears a tiny cross dangling from it. All the time they’re handing her awards, she’s stood there with her all-time hard-on coz she knows something they don’t, and knowing things others don’t is all that really does it for her. The right nipple, she’s left alone, to avoid overkill.’
‘But if…’
‘She has a Chinese dragon tattooed all the way down her back’s left side. Her favourite colour is lilac. And she loves Matey bubble bath though she won’t admit it to anyone except her best friend.’
‘So she …?’
‘Her best friend’s probably called Louise and falls out with her a lot but always forgives her because Teena Rama knows how to turn on the charisma.’
‘Then, how …?’
I’d guess she’s two parts Dutch, one part Irish, two parts Swedish, four parts Egyptian, three parts Indian and five parts Madagascan. Her hair really is tangerine though the polka dots are an affectation.’ She looked at him, incredulous. ‘Danny, how long have you lived here?’
‘Four weeks.’
‘Four weeks? And in all that time have you not found out anything about the girl?’
He was beginning to wonder.
‘Is there anything else you want to know about her?’ she asked.
He shrugged blankly.
‘So,’ she asked. ‘Is she in? Only, I brought my camera.’ She held it up. ‘I thought she might pose for some snaps for my collection. She probably won’t. She doesn’t look the type; stuck-up cow. Maybe you could grab and hold her while I take the shots.’
‘You’ve never met her?’ He was growing more confused by the moment.
‘I feel like I have. Once they found out she was in town, the lecturers at Poly kept raving about her; “Dr Rama’s done this. Dr Rama’s done that. The sun shines out of Dr Rama’s perfectly appointed posterior. They say she’s cloning herself, the great philanthropist. That’s why she had all that mysterious equipment delivered one midnight, seven months ago, and still won’t tell anyone what she wanted it for. Soon then there’ll be a Dr Rama for everyone.” Then they’d go dreamy-eyed, tight-trousered and weak-kneed. Arseholes. Do you know she blew up half of Yale University, doing forbidden literary experiments? And they still didn’t expel her. Just because she was pretty.’
He didn’t know that.
‘So,’ she said. ‘You gonna show me her back passage?’
And before he could answer, she went out back.
‘Well, well well.’ Hands on hips, her back to him, the girl stood outside, looking up, down and around at the alleyway.
Danny stayed in the back doorway, looking out. ‘I know. It’s rubbish compared to the rest of the house.’
‘Are you kidding?’ she asked. ‘It’s the best part of the house. Have you never seen antique furniture? The front’s always beautiful, the back’s always a mess. That, Daniel, is how you know it’s got class. So, where do all these gennels lead?’
‘No idea.’
She looked back at him. ‘You’ve never explored them?’
He shrugged. ‘There didn’t seem much point.’
‘C’mon. Let’s get nosey.’ She grabbed his hand, half yanking his arm from its socket. And for some reason, it reminded him of another time and another house.
She dragged him up the alleyway and round its first corner.
They stopped dead.
A hole in the wall confronted them, seven feet tall, five feet wide, in the shape of a ‘man’.
‘What’s this?’ she asked. Releasing his hand, she stepped forward and prodded a loose brick. Clink, it hit the ground.
‘I’ve never seen it before,’ he said. ‘Teena must’ve carved it. She’s into sculpting.’
‘She sculpts monster-shaped holes in back passages?’
‘It’s probably a performance art. All her art is. It’s useless. She’s won awards for it.’
The girl stepped through the hole and disappeared from view. He heard her feet scrunching among rubble.
She called through. ‘There’s another hole back here, and another, and another, a diagonal line of them leading all the way off into Bougier Woods.’
‘What do you think they mean?’
‘They mean you’d better have hung onto that ankh I gave you.’
Last thing that night, Danny found something tucked away in his bottom drawer. It was an ankh.