FOURTEEN

HE HAD TO wait until morning, until Dru slipped downstairs to prepare her daily orders. He’d barely slept. Though he’d struggled to lock the turmoil aside, he’d lain awake most of the night.

Even the pleasure of having Dru curled beside him had been tainted.

But he had to be sure.

Though his gut told him Gloria had tromped on yet another part of his life, he knocked on the McLean brothers’ apartment door. He had to be sure.

Dressed for work, an enormous cup of coffee in his hand, Dan answered. “Hey, what’s up? You just caught me. I’ve got an early meeting.”

“I need to talk to Will.”

“Good luck. He’s the dead man in the bedroom down the hall. Want coffee? He’ll probably pull his resurrection act by noon.”

“This can’t wait.”

“Hey, Seth, really, the guy’s wasted.” Since Seth was already walking through the debris of the living room, Dan went after him. “No, that’s mine.” Resigned, Dan jerked a thumb toward a second door. There was a sign tacked to it that advised:

Take two aspirin and go far, far away.

Seth didn’t bother to knock, but pushed the door open into the dark. Through the light that spilled in from the hallway, Seth could see blackout drapes were pulled tight over the window. The room itself was barely closet-sized and mostly bed.

Will lay on it, faceup, his arms flung out to the sides as if he’d fallen backward in that position and hadn’t moved since. He wore Marvin the Martian boxer shorts and one sock.

He snored.

“Let me get my camera,” Dan mumbled. “Listen, Seth, this is his first chance for eight straight in two weeks. He wanted to make up time with Aubrey, so he didn’t get in until after two. He was barely conscious when he came in the door.”

“It’s important.”

“Well, shit.” Dan walked over to the window. “He’ll probably be speaking in tongues.” And ruthlessly whipped the drapes back.

The bright morning sun flashed over the bed. Will didn’t twitch. Seth leaned over the bed, shook Will by the shoulder. “Wake up.”

“Glumph missitop.”

“Told ya.” Dan moved to the bed. “Here’s how it works.” He put his mouth close to Will’s ear and shouted, “Code blue! Code blue! Dr. McLean, report to Exam Room Three. Stat!”

“Whazit?” Will sprang into a sitting position as if the top half of his body had been shot from a bow. “Where’s the crash cart? Where’s . . .” Some part of his brain cleared as he blinked into Seth’s face. “Aw fuck.” He started to flop back, but Seth grabbed his arm.

“I have to talk to you.”

“You bleeding internally?”

“No.”

“You will be if you don’t get the hell out of here and let me sleep.” He grabbed a pillow from behind him, put it over his face to block out the light. “Don’t see a guy in years, then you can’t get rid of him. Go away, and take the moron who used to be my brother with you.”

“You were in Dru’s shop yesterday.”

“I’m gonna cry in a minute.”

“Will.” Seth yanked the pillow away. “The woman who was in there when you came in. You said you thought you recognized her.”

“Right now I wouldn’t recognize my own mother. In fact, who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bedroom? I’m calling the cops.”

“Tell me what she looked like.”

“If I tell you, will you go away?”

“Yeah. Please.”

“Christ, let me think.” Yawning hugely, Will scrubbed his hands over his face. He sniffed. Sniffed again. “Coffee.” His eyes began to track until they landed on Dan’s cup. “I want that coffee.”

“This is mine, jerkwad.”

“Give me that goddamn coffee or I’m telling Mom you think that yellow dress makes her ass look fat. Your life won’t be worth living.”

“Give him the damn coffee,” Seth snapped.

Dan handed it over.

Will slurped, gulped. Seth waited for him to just dunk his head in the oversized cup and lap with his tongue. “Okay, what was the question?”

Seth fisted a hand at his side, imagined his rage inside it. Trapped and controlled. “The woman you saw in Dru’s shop.”

“Yeah, right.” Will yawned again, tried to concentrate. “Something about her weirded me out. Dressed like she should’ve been working a corner in Baltimore. Not that I’d know anything about that,” he added with a cherubic smile. “Bleached, bony, blond. What my dad would call shopworn. Diagnosis from a quick visual would be serious alcohol abuse, along with some recreational chemicals. Bad tone to her skin. Liver damage, probably.”

“How old?” Seth demanded.

“Running toward fifty, but hard years. Could’ve been younger. Serious smoker’s rasp, too. She leaves her body to science, we ain’t getting much out of it.”

“Yeah.” Seth sat heavily on the side of the bed.

“Like I told Dru, there was something familiar about her. Couldn’t place it. Maybe it was just the type. Hard, edgy, sort of, I dunno, predatory. What? Did she come back and hassle Dru? I’d’ve hung around if I’d thought . . .”

Then his jaw dropped as the picture fell into place. “Oh shit. Jesus Christ on a crutch. Gloria DeLauter.”

Seth pressed the heels of his hands to his forehead. “Fuck me.”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” Dan held up both hands. “You’re saying Gloria DeLauter was in Dru’s flower shop? Yesterday? That can’t be. She’s gone, she’s been gone for years.”

“It was her,” Will stated. “It didn’t click until just now. We only saw her that one time,” he said to Dan, “but it’s a pretty strong memory. Her yelling and trying to get Seth in that car. Sybill knocking her down, Foolish snarling like he was going to take a chunk out of her. She’s changed, but not that much.”

“No.” Seth dropped his hands. “Not that much.”

“What the hell’s she doing back here?” Will demanded. “You’re not a kid now. She can’t try to drag you off so she can squeeze your brothers for ransom or some shit. She can’t be looking for a sloppy mother-son reunion, so what’s the point?”

“Will’s a little slow,” Dan commented, “especially when it comes to the dark side. Money would be the point, right, Seth? Our pal here’s a successful artist, climbing up the shiny ladder of fame and fortune. Whatever hole she’s been in, she’d have heard about it. Now she’s back wanting her cut of the profits.”

“That covers most of it,” Seth grumbled.

“I still don’t get it.” Will shoved at his hair. “You don’t owe her a damn thing. She’s got nothing on you.”

“I’ve been paying her for years.”

“Aw hell, Seth.”

“She just kept popping up. I gave her money so she’d go away again. Stupid, but I couldn’t see what else to do to keep her from hassling my family. They’d gotten the business off the ground, and the kids were coming along. I didn’t want her making trouble for them.”

“They don’t know?” Will asked.

“No, I never told anybody.” He’d put it inside, in the place he tried to keep locked away from what his life had become. “She tracked me down in Rome a few months ago. That’s when I figured there wasn’t any point in me being three thousand miles away. I wanted to come home. She hit me up again about a week ago. Usually she backs off for longer. A year or two. I thought I’d bought some time. But if she went into Dru’s shop, it wasn’t because she wanted to buy some fucking daisies.”

“What do you want us to do?” Dan asked him.

“Nothing you can do. Just keep a lid on this until I figure it out. Meanwhile, I’ll wait. See what she does next.”

 

BUT he couldn’t just wait. He spent hours driving to hotels, motels, B and B’s trying to find her, without a clue what he’d do if and when he did.

He started the search with more fury than plan, thinking only that he needed to confront her, to drive her off by whatever means necessary. But as he drove to and from hotels, he began to cool off. He began to think as she thought. Coldly.

If she thought Dru mattered to him, she would be used. Tool, weapon, victim. Very likely all three. If and when he found her, he would need to take care to paint his relationship with Dru as a casual one. Even a callous one.

If there was one thing Gloria understood, even respected, it was using someone else. Using anyone else for your own purposes.

As long as she thought he was using Dru for sex and studio space, Dru would be safe.

Then at least one person he cared about wouldn’t be smeared with Gloria’s brush.

He was forty miles outside of St. Christopher before he found an answer.

The motel boasted a pool, cable TV and family suites. The desk clerk was young and perky enough to make Seth decide she’d been hired as summer help.

He leaned on the counter, spoke in a friendly manner. “Hi. How’s it going?”

“Just fine, thanks. Will you be checking in?”

“No, I’m here to see a friend. Gloria DeLauter?”

“DeLauter. One moment, please.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she began to tap her keyboard. “Um, could you spell the last name?”

“Sure.”

When he had, she tapped again, then looked up apologetically. “I’m sorry. There’s no DeLauter registered.”

“Huh. Oh, you know what, she might’ve registered under Harrow. That’s the name she uses for business.”

“Gloria Harrow?” She went back to the keyboard, then frowned. “I’m afraid Miss Harrow checked out.”

“She checked out?” Seth straightened, did everything he could to keep his tone mild. “When?”

“Just this morning. I checked her out myself.”

“That’s weird. Blond? Thin? About this tall.” He held up a hand to estimate.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Well, hell, I must’ve messed up the dates. Thanks.” He started out, then turned back casually. “She didn’t mention heading down to Saint Christopher, did she?”

“No. Seems to me she headed out the other way. Gosh, I hope nothing’s wrong.”

“Just a mix-up,” he said and let himself feel a cautious trickle of relief. “Thanks for your help.”

 

HE told himself she was gone. She’d taken the ten thousand and split. She’d checked out Dru, and that was worrying, but Seth imagined Gloria had, once she’d met her, dismissed the idea of him and Dru having any sort of serious relationship she could exploit.

The fact was, he was far from sure where he stood with Dru himself.

She wasn’t the type who wore her heart on her sleeve, he thought. Or anywhere else he could get a good look at it. And wasn’t part of his fascination with her the very fact that she was so contained?

At least it had been; interest and attraction had melded into something a great deal stronger.

Now he wanted more.

One way he used to see into people was by painting them.

He knew she was far from sold on the idea of posing for him again—particularly in the way he had in mind. But he set up his studio on Sunday morning as if she were in enthusiastic agreement.

“Why won’t you just take money for the painting?”

“I don’t want money.” He arranged the sheets on the bed, ones he’d borrowed from Phil after a raid on his brother’s linen closet.

The material was soft, would drape fluidly. And their color, the palest honeysuckle, would be perfect against the bold red of the rose petals and the delicate white of Dru’s skin.

He wanted that mix of tones and moods—warm, hot, cool—because she was all of them.

“That’s the point of selling your work, isn’t it?” She clutched her robe closed at the throat and cast uneasy glances at the bed. “To make money?”

“I don’t paint for money. That’s a handy by-product, and I leave it to my rep.”

“I’m not a model.”

“I don’t want a model either.” Dissatisfied, he shoved, dragged, pushed, until he’d changed the angle and position of the bed. “Professionals can give you a terrific study. But I find using regular people gives me more. Besides, I can’t use anyone but you for this work.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you.”

She hissed between her teeth as he opened the first bag of petals. “What does that mean?”

“I see you.” He tossed petals on the sheets in seemingly random patterns. “Just relax and leave it to me.”

“I can’t possibly relax when I’m lying naked on a bed strewn with rose petals and you’re staring at me.”

“Sure you can.” He added more petals, stepped back, considered.

“We made love on that bed a few hours ago.”

“Exactly.” Now he looked at her, smiled. “It’d help if you thought about that when I’m working.”

“Oh, did you have sex with me to put me in the right mood?”

“No, I had sex with you because I can’t seem to get enough of you. But the mood’s another handy by-product.”

“Let me tell you where you can put your handy by-product.”

He only laughed, then grabbed her before she could stride into the bathroom. “I’m crazy about you.”

“Stop it.” She seethed as he nibbled on her earlobe. “I mean it, Seth.”

“Absolutely crazy. You’re so beautiful. Don’t be shy.”

“You can’t get me to strip with flattery or cajolery.”

“Cajolery. Very cool word. How about appealing to your appreciation of art? Just try.” He skimmed his lips down to hers. “Give me one hour. If you’re still uncomfortable, we’ll rethink this. The human body’s natural.”

“So’s cotton underwear.”

“It sure is, the way you wear it.”

And of course, he made her laugh. “One hour?” She eased back. “And I get the painting?”

“Deal. Now is this music okay with you, or do you want me to put on something to strip by.”

“Oh, you’re very funny.”

“Let’s just take this off.” He untied the robe, eased it gently from her shoulders. “I love looking at you. I love the shape of you.” He spoke softly, easing her toward the bed. “The way your skin looks in the light. I want to show you how you look to me.”

“How is seducing me supposed to help me relax?”

“Lie down. Don’t think about anything yet. I want you turned on your side, facing me. Your arm like this.” He lifted it, draped it low over her breasts.

She did her best to ignore the sensation along her skin where his fingertips, his knuckles brushed. “I feel . . . exposed.”

“Revealed,” he corrected. “It’s different. Slide this knee up. Keep this arm angled down. Palm up, open. Good. Comfortable?”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this. This is not me.”

“Yes, it is.” He reached into the bag, scattered petals over her, letting some drift into her open palm before he placed some more deliberately on her hair, on the slope of her breasts, over her arm, along the line of hip and leg.

“Try to hold that for me.” He stepped back, ran his gaze over her in a way that made her skin flush.

“Seth.”

“Just try not to move too much. I need your body first. I’m not too worried about the head and face just yet. Talk to me.” He retreated behind the canvas.

“About what? How ridiculous I feel?”

“Why don’t we go for a sail this evening? We’ll bum dinner off of Anna and go out after.”

“I can’t think about dinner, and I certainly don’t want to think about your sister-in-law when I’m . . . People are going to see this, see me. Naked.”

“People are going to see a painting of a striking woman.”

“My mother,” Dru said in sudden horror.

“How is she? She and your father still back together?”

“As far as I know. They went to Paris, but they’re not happy with me.”

“Hard to make everybody happy all the time.” He sketched the curve of her shoulder, the stem of her neck, the slender line of torso. “When’s the last time you were in Paris?”

“About three years ago. My aunt’s wedding. She lives there now—outside of Paris, actually, but they keep a flat in the city.”

So he talked to her of Paris, satisfied when he saw the tension draining out of her body. Then he began to paint.

The contrast of the red against white skin, the glint of light, the delicacy of the sheets with their deeper shadows in the soft folds. He wanted the elegance of her open hand and the strong muscles in her calf.

She shifted slightly, but he said nothing to correct her pose. The conversation he carried on to keep her relaxed was in a different part of his mind. The rest was steeped in the image he created with paint and brush.

Here was his faerie queen again, but now she was awake. Now she was aware.

She stopped thinking about the pose, her modesty. It was an incredible thrill to watch him work. An exhilaration. Did he realize, she wondered, how the intensity came over him? The way his eyes changed, took on a certain fierceness of effort that was in direct opposition to the casual flow of his words.

Did he see himself? Surely he must. He had to know the fluidity and focus that were so much a part of his technique. The sexuality of it. And the beauty, the power, that made the subject he took along with him feel beautiful, feel powerful.

She forgot the time limit they’d set. Whatever fantasy he’d created in his mind, she’d become too much a part of it to break the spell.

Did the subject always fall in love with the artist? she wondered. Was it just the nature of things for her to feel this outrageous intimacy with him, and this stupefying need for him?

How had he become the first man, the only man, she wanted to give to? To give anything he asked. It was frightening to know it, to understand that love could mean giving up so much of self.

What would be left of her if she yielded to it?

When his gaze moved over her, as if absorbing what she was, she shivered.

“Are you cold?” His voice was impatient. Then, as if he turned a knob, he spoke more easily. “Sorry, are you cold?”

“No. Yes. Maybe a bit. A little stiff.”

He frowned, then glanced down at his wrist for the watch he’d once again forgotten to put on. “Probably hit the hour.”

“At least.” She worked up a smile.

“You need a break. You want some water? Juice? Did I buy juice?”

“Water’s fine. Can I sit up now?”

“Sure, sure.” He wasn’t looking at her now in any case, but at the work.

“And can I see what you’ve done so far?”

“Uh-huh.” He set down his brush, picked up a rag. And never took his eyes off the canvas.

Dru slipped out of bed, picked up the robe and, wrapping herself into it, walked to him.

The bed was the center of the canvas, with much of the outer space still white and unpainted. She was the center of the bed.

He’d yet to paint her face, so she was only a body—long limbs adorned with rose petals. Her arm covered her breasts, but it wasn’t a gesture of modesty. One of flirtation, she thought. Of invitation. Of knowledge.

Only a fraction done, she realized, and already brilliant. Did she ever look and see light and shadow playing so beautifully?

He’d chosen the bed well. The slim iron bars offered simplicity and a timelessness. The delicate tone of the sheets warmed her skin and was yet another contrast to all the rich, bold strokes.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It will be,” he agreed. “This is a good start.”

“You knew I wouldn’t stop you once I’d seen what you’d done.”

“If you’d looked and hadn’t seen what I wanted you to see, I’d have failed. Drusilla.”

She studied him. Her pulse scrambled when she saw that same narrowed intensity on his face, the strength of focus, of purpose. The need that vibrated around him when he worked.

But now, it was for her.

“I’ve never wanted anyone like this,” she managed. “I don’t know what it means.”

“I don’t give a damn.” He pulled her against him, captured her mouth.

He was already yanking off her robe as he dragged her toward the bed.

A part of her—that had been born and bred in luxury, in grace—was shocked at the treatment. Shocked more by her response to it. And the part that responded triumphed.

She tore at his shirt even as they tumbled onto sheets strewn with rose petals.

“Touch me. Oh, touch me.” She clawed her way over him. “The way I imagine you touching me when you’re painting me.”

His hands streaked over her, rough and needy, stroking the flames that had simmered as she’d lain naked for him. It energized her, sparked in her blood until she felt herself become a quivering mass of raw need tangled with reckless greed.

Her mouth warred with his in a frantic battle to give.

He was lost in her, trapped in the maze of emotions she’d wound through him. Steeped in the flood of sensations she aroused by every caress, every taste, every word.

Hunger for more stumbled against a rocky ledge of love.

When he drew her close, held—held tight—he fell over.

Some change, some tenderness eked through the urgency. It swamped her, and she went pliant against him.

Now mouths met, a long, sumptuous kiss. Now hands brushed skin delicately. The air thickened, filled with the scents of roses, of paint, of turpentine, all stirred by the breeze off the water.

She rose over him, and looked down at love.

Her throat ached. Her heart swelled. Unbearably moved, she lowered her lips to his until her throat ached from the sweetness.

This, she knew, was more than pleasure, beyond desire and need. This, if only she could let it, was everything.

If it was consuming, then she would be consumed. And she took him inside her, gave herself over to the everything.

Slow and silky, deep and intent, they moved together. Trembled as they climbed, sighed as they floated. It seemed to her colors, the rich bold tones he’d used in the painting, spread inside her.

He lifted to her, finding her mouth with his again as his arms enfolded her. Wrapped tight, they surrendered.

For a time they didn’t speak. She kept her head on his shoulder, looked at the light through the window.

He’d opened a window, she realized. One she’d been so certain needed to remain shut. Now the light, the air was streaming through.

How could she ever close it again?

“I’ve never made love on rose petals before,” she said quietly. “I liked it.”

“Me too.”

She plucked one from his back. “But now look what we’ve done.” She held it out to him. “The artist is going to be very annoyed with us.”

“He should be, but he’s not. Besides”—joy, pure joy, was running inside him in long, loose strides—“the artist is very inventive.”

“I can verify that.”

“Give me another hour.”

She leaned back to stare at him. “You’re going to paint again? Now?”

“Trust me. It’s important, really important. Just—here.” She was still gaping at him when he shifted her and gave her a light shove back onto the bed. “Do you remember the pose, or do you need me to set you?”

“Do I . . . oh, for heaven sake.” More than a little miffed, she rolled to her side, flopped her arm over her breasts.

“Okay, I’ll set you.” Cheerful, energized, he moved her, redistributed rose petals, stepped back, then forward again to make more adjustments.

“It’s okay to pout now, but turn your head toward me.”

“I’m not pouting. I’m entirely too mature to pout.”

“Whatever.” He grabbed his jeans, tugged them on. “I need the angle of your head . . . chin up. Whoa, not that far, sugar. That’s better,” he said, grabbing the brush he needed. “Tilt your head, just a . . . Ah, yeah, that’s it. You’re amazing, you’re perfect. You’re the best.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Now, that’s mature.” He went to work. “And a little crude coming from you.”

“I can be crude when the occasion calls for it.” As far as she was concerned, having a man more interested in his work than in holding her when she’d just fallen in love was the perfect occasion.

“Okay, shut up. Just look at me now, listen to the music.”

“Fine. I’ve nothing to say to you anyway.”

Maybe not, he thought, but her face had a great deal to say. And he wanted it all. He painted the arrogant angle of it, the strong chin with that lovely shadow in the center, the sculpted cheekbones, the gorgeous shape of her eyes, eyebrows, the straight patrician line of her nose.

But for the rest, for her mouth, for the look in her eyes, he needed something more.

“Don’t move,” he ordered as he came back to the bed. “I want you to think about how much I want you.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Think about how powerful you are, the way you look. As if you’re just waking up and you see me looking at you. Craving you. You’ve got all the power here.”

“Is that so?”

“I’m desperate for you.” He leaned down, his lips a whisper from hers. “You know it. All you have to do is crook a finger. All you have to do is smile.” He laid his lips on hers, took the kiss slow and deep, gave her a taste of his yearning. “And I’m a slave.”

He backed up, his eyes on hers as he eased around the canvas. “It’s you, Drusilla. You.”

Her lips curved, a kind of knowing. In her eyes an invitation shimmered that was both luminous and languid.

He saw everything he wanted in that one moment, the awareness, the confidence, the desire and the promise.

“Don’t change.”

He saw nothing but her, felt nothing but her to the point where he was almost unaware of his own hand moving. Of mixing the paint, dabbing it, stroking it, all but breathing it onto the paper so that her face bloomed for him.

He caught what he could, knew he would see that light on her face forever. It would be there when he needed to complete the work.

It would be there, in his mind and heart, whenever he was alone. Whenever he was lonely.

“I can do it,” he said, and laid aside his brush. “When I do, it’ll be the most important thing I’ve ever done. Do you know why?”

She couldn’t speak now, could barely breathe over the tumult of her heart. She could only shake her head.

“Because this is what you are to me. What I knew, somehow, you’d be to me from the first moment. Drusilla.” He stepped toward the bed. “I love you.”

Her breath shuddered out. “I know.” She pressed a hand to her heart, in wonder that it didn’t simply burst free in one mad leap of joy. “I know. I’m terrified. Oh God, Seth, I’m terrified, because I love you, too.”

She sprang up, scattering rose petals, and leaped into his arms.