Chapter Twelve

‘Blimey, he’s a bit of mess, isn’t he?’ Adam heard one of the officers addressing James.

‘He broke into my property. I was using reasonable force to protect myself,’ James pointed out irritably. ‘Are you going to sympathise with him, or arrest him?’

‘Better get him down to the station, Steve,’ the same officer said, presumably to his partner. Adam didn’t look up as the officers walked across to him.

‘Adam Hamilton-Shaw, we are legally obliged to inform you that we are arresting you on suspicion of breaking and entering with intent to commit a crime.’

‘Intent?’ James laughed scornfully. ‘The bastard bloody well attacked my wife!’

‘You do not have to say anything,’ the officer went on as his partner cautioned James to quieten down. ‘However, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do you understand, sir?’

Adam swallowed and nodded. He was in so much pain he couldn’t have answered if he’d wanted to. He was still breathing. He supposed that was something to be grateful for.

The cuffs hadn’t been necessary, the police had decided, when he’d been struggling to even stand up. Adam had badly wanted to run though, as fast and as far away as possible. Wasn’t about to go anywhere now, was he, apart from the cells probably. A shiver ran through him as he responded to the on-call doctor’s prodding, poking and questions with a nod or a shake of his head.

He’d done it again. Adam sighed inside. Let everyone down. Nicole, little Lily-Grace, who at least wasn’t old enough to know he had – yet. Sienna, the only good, decent thing to have happened in his life in a long time. She should have run, should have avoided him like the plague. Would now, Adam was certain of that.

‘Is he done?’ the detective inspector asked, once the doctor had established he didn’t need hospitalising and had bagged up the various swabs.

‘All done,’ the doctor confirmed. ‘No strenuous activity, though,’ he addressed Adam. ‘The ribs are definitely cracked.’

‘Oh, I doubt he’ll be undertaking any strenuous activity for a while,’ the detective commented drolly, perching himself on the table to Adam’s side as the doctor took his leave.

Too close. Adam felt suddenly very claustrophobic in the confines of the soulless interview room.

‘So, Mr Hamilton-Shaw …’ the detective said companionably. ‘Or should I call you Adam, God’s gift to womankind,’ his voice took on a mocking tone, ‘because you obviously think you are, don’t you?’

Adam fixed his gaze on his hands in front of him on the table. He didn’t answer. After the kicking he’d taken back at the cottage, he wasn’t sure any answer he gave wouldn’t be a wrong one.

‘Seems you’ve bedded every woman in the vicinity, Adam,’ the detective went on, idly plucking a piece of fluff from his trouser leg.

Adam flinched as a hand was slammed down in front of him, and then gulped back a hard lump in his throat as he felt the man’s breath inches from his cheek. Adam didn’t move. He didn’t dare.

‘Did you do it, Adam?’ The detective got suddenly to his feet and paced slowly around behind him. ‘Assault the man’s wife?’

Adam closed his eyes.

‘Wasn’t going to take no for an answer, is that it?’

The guy waited. Adam swallowed.

‘I’ve been doing some digging around, Adam.’ The detective walked around in front of him. ‘Seems you have a history of violence. Your brother wasn’t very happy with you, by all accounts. Your fiancée either.’

The man paused, glowering down at him.

Adam tried to concentrate on the simple act of breathing.

‘Couldn’t have been really, could she? Did you treat her with the same respect you treat all women, Adam?’

Adam tugged in a painful breath, and tried hard to still the flashback: Her eyes were open, empty; her spirit flown. No! He couldn’t do this.

‘Well?’

Saying nothing, Adam tried to control his insistent shaking.

The detective planted his hands on the table and pushed his face up close to his. ‘You either cooperate, Adam,’ he growled menacingly, ‘or you are going to be here for a very long time. Now, I asked you a question. It’s a simple yes or no answer.’

Adam swallowed again, hard, and looked up at him. Her spirit … His heart jolted. Not flown. Here, still. Could it really be that she’d been waiting, watching, appearing more and more often, until he had to acknowledge he could see her? He could see her. He squinted hard past the detective. Indistinct still, but she was there. Emily. She was shaking her head. There was no sadness there, only … determination? He could feel it. It was right there inside him.

Adam focused back on the copper, scanned his merciless, mocking eyes, and took a breath. ‘Can I phone a friend?’ he asked, deliberately flippant. He might be going insane, probably was. Whatever this ‘defender of the law’ did to him, though, he wasn’t going to give in. Not here. Not now.

‘Cocky little bastard,’ the detective seethed. ‘You really are a piece of work, aren’t—’ He stopped as the interview door opened behind him.

Adam wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or whether to brace himself all over again, as the duty officer came back in.

Relieved, he supposed, as the detective switched to professional police mode. ‘I’m going to ask you some questions,’ he said, his tone detached, but borderline respectful. ‘You do not have to say or do anything if you do not want to. Do you understand, sir?’

Having worried and wondered for several hours, Sienna finally decided to ask Nathaniel if Adam might have mentioned going on somewhere after his run this morning. He hadn’t spoken to Nathaniel before he’d left, but he might have rung him, Sienna supposed. She hoped he had, because the only place she imagined he might be was the cottage. That thought causing a flutter of uncertainty in her chest, she tapped lightly on Nathaniel’s open door and went on in. ‘Sorry to bother you, Nate,’ she said, ‘but—’

Sienna stopped as Nathaniel continued his conversation on the phone, beckoning her stay put with his hand, rather than beckoning her on in, as he normally did.

‘They’re charging you with what?’ He looked up at Sienna, his face visibly paling. ‘Don’t say anything. I’m on my way.’

Sienna felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her tummy as Nathaniel banged the phone down and scraped his chair back. ‘Nate …?’ She eyed him quizzically.

‘Adam,’ Nathaniel supplied, snatching up his mobile and jabbing a number into it as he scrambled around his desk. ‘He’s in police custody.’

‘Police custody?’ The floor shifted under Sienna’s feet. ‘But why?’ Her alarm escalated as Nathaniel headed fast for the door. ‘Nate? Why? What are they charging him with?’

Nathaniel stopped, tugging in a terse breath as he turned to face her. ‘Breaking and entering, and …’ he glanced evasively down, ‘… they’re claiming he assaulted someone’s wife. I’m sorry, Sienna.’

Shaking his head, Nathaniel turned agitatedly back to the door. ‘Bloody idiot,’ he muttered as he left. ‘I warned him something like this would happen.’

‘I’m taking you to the hospital.’ Nathaniel glanced sideways again at Adam as he drove.

‘No,’ Adam insisted. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Fine? You look as if you’ve gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. You look like shit, Adam.’

‘Feels like it.’ Adam laughed wryly. He actually felt like crying, like crawling in a hole and dying. He just wanted to get home. Wash off the stench of hours at the station – being prodded, poked, questioned and basically disbelieved – from his body, climb into his bed and stay there. He wanted to close his eyes. Close his eyes and not think or see anything.

‘Bastards,’ Nathaniel seethed. ‘Are they charging them?’

‘For restraining an intruder? A violent intruder? Not likely, is it?’ Adam shook his head, and then winced as a searing pain ripped through his chest.

Nathaniel pulled in a breath, as if to say something, but didn’t.

They drove on for a while in silence, the only noise the purr of the engine and the rhythmic swish of the window wipers, which was actually quite soothing. Adam was immensely relieved Nathaniel hadn’t decided to launch into a sermon. He much preferred quiet. Craved it, in fact. He really didn’t want to answer any more questions. Didn’t want to talk anymore. There just didn’t seem to be any point.

‘Did you do it?’ Nathaniel finally asked the one question Adam definitely didn’t want to answer. The one Nathaniel had obviously been bursting to ask since they’d released him.

Adam watched the wipers slosh hopelessly against the deluge of rain, his heart sinking. ‘Do you think I did?’ he asked quietly.

Nathaniel shrugged. ‘No, but …’

And there it was, the ‘but’, which meant that even Nathaniel doubted his innocence. If the one person who knew him better than anybody didn’t believe him, what chance Sienna would? What chance Nicole would? History, he told himself. Forget it. ‘I didn’t assault her, Nate, no,’ he said, swallowing back a tight lump in his throat.

‘Okay,’ Nathaniel said, after a loaded pause. ‘In which case, they’ll probably have little in the way of evidence. I doubt they’ll be able to make a strong enough case to—’

‘I had sex with her,’ Adam cut him short. ‘And I was staying at the cottage.’ He didn’t say anymore. He guessed Nathaniel didn’t really need him to.

‘Idiot,’ Nathaniel muttered, his eyes fixed frontwards as he drove on.

‘Can I ask you another favour, Nate?’ Adam asked hesitantly, as they approached the marina, though he guessed he’d probably used up his quota of favours where Nathaniel was concerned.

Nathaniel nodded shortly.

‘Can you lose the lights and park as close as possible to my boat?’

Nathaniel glanced at him, sighed, and switched off his headlights. ‘You’ll have to face her sometime, you know?’

‘I know.’ Adam sighed wearily. ‘Not now, though. Not like this.’

‘Hot chocolate,’ Lauren said kindly, planting a mug on Sienna’s bedside cabinet.

Sienna didn’t want it. She wouldn’t be able to swallow it. She didn’t want to do, say, drink or eat anything. All she wanted was to stay curled up with Tobias until she knew what on earth was going on. She needed to know Adam was home safe. She needed to know.

‘Come on, sweetie, drink it. It’ll make you feel better.’ Lauren perched herself on the edge of Sienna’s bed. Her ‘girl-sized’ bed, where she had lain with Adam. Where he’d made such tender, beautiful love to her, awakening parts of her she hadn’t even known existed. Could that man, who’d crossed no boundaries she hadn’t agreed on, really have assaulted a woman?

‘Do you think he did it?’ she asked, running a hand under her nose.

‘Your eyes are swollen, Sienna,’ Lauren answered evasively. ‘You need to get some sleep.’

‘Do you?’

Lauren reached out to brush Sienna’s now totally bedraggled hair from her face. ‘We don’t know anything yet, sweetie.’

‘But do you think he did it?’

Lauren glanced down. ‘You have to admit his morals are a bit skewed, Sienna. And, from what you’ve told me, he has every reason not to like women very—’

‘He didn’t!’ Sienna shot up. ‘He’s not skewed. He’s not anything. He’s just a lonely person who got hurt.’

‘All right, Sienna.’ Lauren looked at her worriedly. ‘I didn’t say I did believe it. Now, come on, calm down. You’re frightening Tobias.’

Sienna glanced at her poor dog’s cocked ears and puzzled wide eyes, but still she pushed on. She had to make people see. He couldn’t have done it. He hadn’t. ‘His affairs were his way of dealing with his hurt, don’t you see?’ she tried to explain. ‘His way of working through it? His sleeping with women doesn’t make him a violent attacker.’

‘It does make him a sex-addict, though, Sienna,’ Lauren pointed out quietly. ‘A man who uses women, ergo, doesn’t really care about them.’

Sienna jumped off the bed. ‘You’d have him hung, drawn and quartered. All of you! You won’t even give him the benefit of the doubt. You never would.’

‘Sienna, you need to calm down.’ Lauren stood to face her. ‘Come on, come and sit back down. I’ll ring your dad. He can come and collect you. You’ll be better off at—’

‘Don’t you dare, Lauren! This is my life. I love Adam, and I’ll stand by him, even—’ Sienna stopped as she heard a car door slam. He was here!

She needed to see him. She needed to tell him. She didn’t believe it. She didn’t. Heedless of shoes or coat, she flew downstairs and straight out of the front door, heading for Adam’s boat, Lauren two steps behind her.

‘Nate?’ Realising Adam had already gone inside, Sienna stopped dead. Bewildered, she glanced from Nathaniel to Adam’s closed boat door.

Nathaniel’s smile was forced. ‘He’s okay,’ he assured her. ‘Just needs some rest.’

Sienna glanced at Adam’s boat again, where no lights came on, then back to Nathaniel. ‘Did he say anything?’ she asked him, her voice quavering, though she was trying very hard not to crumble, right there in front of everyone. He must have said something? Left some kind of message for Nathaniel to pass on to her, surely?

Nathaniel shrugged uncomfortably. ‘He said he’d talk to you soon.’

‘That’s very thoughtful of him,’ Lauren mumbled facetiously.

‘Lauren! Just stop!’ Sienna whirled around, hot angry tears coursing down her cheeks. ‘Please stop.’

Shaking her head, concern etching her face, Lauren stepped towards her. ‘Come on, Sienna, come back to the cottage,’ she urged, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. ‘It’s pouring with rain and you’ve got no shoes on.’

‘Tell him, Nathaniel, will you?’ Sienna begged him as Lauren attempted to steer her back towards the cottage. ‘Tell him I want to talk to him. Tell him I’ll always want to talk to him, no matter what.’

No matter what, Adam repeated the words in his head. Sienna obviously also thought he might be guilty then. Guilty. Seated on the floor of the cabin, the hull supporting his back, he rolled that word around for the umpteenth time too, and then gulped back his heart, which felt as if it had been shot into shards.

He couldn’t blame her. Couldn’t blame anyone but himself. He didn’t even blame Sherry. He’d gone into their ‘arrangement’ with his eyes open. Whatever she’d wanted from him, he’d used her entirely for his own gratification. He still wasn’t sure why she was corroborating the husband’s claims. Presumably he’d found out, been aggressive, physically possibly. In which case, judging by his own encounter with him, she’d probably be terrified enough to go along with anything he wanted her to. The man was a vicious bastard, that much was clear.

There was a way he could prove he’d been granted permission to use the property, disprove the breaking and entering claim; it had occurred to Adam when the police had been questioning him. The husband had relieved him of the key, obviously, and made sure there were visible signs of forced entry, but Adam had a witness. Someone who had seen him with a key, but absolutely no way was Adam about to ask Sienna to verify it.

She loved it here, in her own little cottage overlooking the water. She had her part-time job here. And there were people here who would make her life a misery if they knew she’d been associating with him, been at that property with him; the pub landlord for one, who’d only ever tolerated his drinking at the pub since the car park incident, probably with his profit in mind.

Then there was the gang of thugs, noisy and intimidating at best, the ringleader of which Adam now knew to be Rebekah’s younger brother. Adam had noticed them eyeing Sienna up, smirking and nudging each other. He had no doubt they would take great pleasure in winding her up once this got out. Possibly even pushing things further. No, he wasn’t going to get Sienna involved.

He’d made his bed. He was bad news. A useless bastard. No way would he ever have been good enough for her. At least Sienna’s eyes had been opened to that fact before he screwed up her life as well as his own. She’d be better off without him. Fighting back the gnawing pain in his chest, Adam grappled his mobile from his pocket and checked his messages, several from Sienna wondering if he was okay, each growing more concerned, the last simply reading please talk to me. Adam would. He owed her that much, but not yet. He wasn’t sure he could cope with the disappointment in her eyes.

Two messages from Nicole, pretty much what he expected: I hope you have a bloody good explanation, read the first. Second thoughts, save it. We don’t want to hear it, said the second.

No, you really don’t, Nicole. Adam pulled in a slow breath, which stopped short of his chest. The sadness was back, he realised, suffocating, heavy, all around him; inside him. Closing his eyes, he breathed slowly out, and willed himself not to cry out in pain.

He didn’t bother to flick to his photo of Lily-Grace. Not much point, he guessed. He needed a beer, he thought vaguely. He needed to lie down. The lying down bit might be tricky, given he was now struggling to even sit back comfortably. The beer he could manage, if only he could force himself to stand up.

Sienna had watched the boat all night. He hadn’t put a light on. Not one. There’d barely been any movement. He’d been sitting in there on his own in the dark. Drinking on his own in the dark?

She couldn’t save him, she knew that. Contrary to Lauren concluding she hadn’t got a brain cell in her head, Sienna knew that ultimately Adam would have to help himself, but she couldn’t just sit by and watch him drink himself into a stupor; a permanent stupor probably. He must be feeling so down, so alone. Might he do something worse? It was probably her paranoia at play, but now that the awful thought had occurred, she couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. Guessing Lauren was still sleeping, she pressed a finger to her lips and mouthed, ‘stay’ to Tobias, then slipped on her trainers and made her way to Adam’s boat.

‘Adam?’ she called as she boarded, not wanting to scare him. No answer, she tapped on the door and called again. Still there was no answer, no movement; no signs of life at all.

Foreboding growing inside her, Sienna rapped hard and called again. He must be able to hear her. If he’d been asleep, she would have woken him by now, surely? He might be ignoring her, wishing she’d go away and leave him alone, but she couldn’t shake the feeling he might not be able to hear. ‘Adam!’ she shouted, and banged on the door. ‘Adam!’

Nothing. Not a sound. Frantically, Sienna looked around, unsure what to do next. His curtains were drawn. He’d been in there all night, barely moved, and no one seemed to give a damn. People were poking their noses out of windows now, though, she noticed. Other boat-owners, people from the neighbouring cottages, who never normally gave Adam more than a derisory, disinterested glance. They were interested now, weren’t they? More anxious they might miss a juicy bit of gossip than about Adam. Sienna had no doubt about that. So much for neighbourly concern, she thought angrily. It was no wonder Adam had shut himself away.

Ignoring them, Sienna went back to the door. This time she hammered, shouting so loud Adam couldn’t fail to hear her. Still, he didn’t answer. He would if he could, she was sure he would. He wouldn’t just lie there … Dear God, panic clutching icily at her insides Sienna whirled around, leaping from boat to bank to fly towards the office. Nathaniel would have spare keys. She tried to still her racing heart. He had spares to all the boats, in case of emergencies. Please, please, don’t let this be one.

Obviously having heard the commotion, Nathaniel was already out of the chandlery, hurrying towards her, keys in hand. ‘Nate …?’ Sienna said tremulously, meeting him halfway across the marina.

‘I’m on it,’ Nathaniel assured her, bypassing her, his face white, in his eyes palpable panic.

‘Adam?’ he yelled, clambering up onto the deck, fiddling the key into the lock. ‘Adam! For God’s sake, open up!’

He still wasn’t answering. Why wasn’t he answering? Feeling sick to her soul, Sienna watched from the bank, as did the gongoozlers, who’d now gathered for a ringside seat.

‘Adam!’ Nathaniel shouted urgently again, finally thrusting the door wide. ‘Adam!’

Sienna was up on the deck, right behind him. ‘Sienna, wait!’ Nathaniel turned, catching her shoulders, trying to prevent her going down into the boat. ‘Let me go in first. He won’t want …’

Sienna wasn’t listening. Desperate, she pushed past Nathaniel and half stumbled down the steps, and then stopped. Dear God! What had they done to him?

‘Adam!’ Sienna screamed, flying to where he was slumped on the floor, his head lolling awkwardly back against the wall of the boat. He had a pillow clutched to his chest. Where was he hurting? She couldn’t see where he was hurting!

‘Adam,’ she repeated tearfully, dropping to her knees to brush his sweat-dampened hair from his forehead. His beautiful dark eyes flickered open and then closed. He didn’t seem to see her. His face was bloody and bruised. His complexion was pale; as pallid as death.

The absolute bastards! Swiping a tear from her cheek, cursing whoever had done this to damnation, Sienna shuffled closer, and heard a distinct rattle in his chest. He couldn’t breathe properly! He was struggling to get air into his lungs. ‘Nathaniel!’

Nathaniel was already there, right next to her. ‘Adam?’ he said, reaching to gently shake his shoulder, but Adam’s head just slumped forwards.

‘Idiot,’ Nathaniel grimaced. ‘I told him to go to the hospital, but would he?’ One arm across Adam to support him, Nathaniel fished in his pocket and passed Sienna his phone. ‘999,’ he instructed.

Adam was sleeping when she arrived at the hospital, his long, dark eyelashes brushing his cheeks, his eyelids flickering as his mind chased his dreams. God, he was so pale. Normally tanned, smiling, outwardly confident, he looked so troubled, so ill. Pleurisy, Nathaniel had told her it was, an inflammation caused by the fractures to his ribs. Why had they done this to him? Did he really deserve this?

Some people would say so, based on the assumption he was guilty before proven innocent. Sienna had heard one of the boat owners commenting as the ambulance had taken Adam away. ‘Deserves that and more,’ a man, who probably didn’t even know Adam other than by reputation, had said.

‘He’ll get his comeuppance,’ another boat owner had imparted. ‘Scum like him get a taste of their own in prison.’

It was wrong. All wrong, condemning him without even knowing. Sienna had wanted to scream at them, he didn’t do it! But what was the point? They’d obviously already judged him.

His breathing was easier, she noticed. Shallow, but that awful rattle she’d heard wasn’t there. He was sweating, still, though. Tentatively, she reached out, to brush his hair from his forehead, and Adam was wide awake in a flash, seizing her hand, cold fear in his eyes that chilled Sienna to the bone.

‘Adam, it’s me!’ she said, her heart wrenching for him.

Adam blinked, his fear ebbing as he finally managed to focus. ‘Christ, sorry,’ he said, relaxing his grip and falling back on his pillow. ‘I, er … bad dream.’

‘I gathered.’ Sienna smiled. ‘I’m not surprised. Does it hurt very—’

‘I didn’t do it,’ Adam said over her.

Sienna’s eyes flickered down.

‘I didn’t do it, Sienna,’ he repeated, quiet desperation in his voice. ‘I swear to God.’

Sienna looked back at him, trying to read what was in his eyes. Eyes she knew he’d learned to hide emotions behind.

Had he had sex with the woman, she wanted to ask. She knew he had with many women. Her eyes were open. She knew Adam was what he was. Had he had sex with this woman, though? Sienna steeled herself. ‘Did you have … relations with her?’ she ventured, cautiously.

Adam closed his eyes. ‘Yes.’ He nodded wearily.

‘Who is she?’ Sienna felt as if she were judging him now, cross-questioning him, but then, she did have a right to know. Didn’t she?

Adam swallowed. ‘The woman you saw on the boat.’

In which case, he could hardly deny he’d had sex with her. Sienna swallowed in turn, the conversation she’d overheard between the two springing to mind, reminding her that people often played games in the bedroom. Had Adam, with this woman?

‘The same woman whose cottage you were staying in?’ she managed, though the words almost got wedged in her windpipe.

‘Yes,’ he admitted, shamefaced, and glanced down. ‘I’m sorry. I … didn’t think.’

Sienna nodded, and dropped her gaze to her hands. She hadn’t given him much room to think, had she? And she hadn’t objected to his taking her there.

‘Do you believe me?’ Adam asked quietly.

Sienna hesitated. There was another question she had to ask. She didn’t want to, but her former bully of a boyfriend in mind, who clearly couldn’t read the signals, she simply had to. ‘Is it possible the lines might have got blurred, Adam?’

Adam’s head snapped up ‘What?’ He stared at her, incredulous.

Sienna took a breath. ‘That maybe rough sex got a little too rough?’ she clarified quickly, and then dearly wished she hadn’t.

Adam’s expression went from stunned, through bewildered, to utterly crushed. She might as well have taken a knife to his heart.

‘I thought you were going to ring me,’ Nathaniel said, walking over to him as Adam paid off the taxi driver.

‘It’s okay, Nate, I’ve got legs.’ Adam smiled, half-heartedly. ‘Got a voice, too, but it looks like no one’s hearing me.’ He glanced over to Sienna’s cottage as he walked to his boat.

‘She came to see you, then?’ Nathaniel obviously got the gist.

‘Yep,’ Adam said, climbing aboard with a little more care than he normally did. ‘I wish she hadn’t. Wish this bloody thing was up and running.’ He looked towards his engine compartment despairingly.

‘And then what would you do? Sail off half a mile upstream and moor up in the middle of nowhere?’

Adam was grateful Nate hadn’t actually reminded him he wasn’t supposed to leave the area. ‘Sounds like a plan.’ He shrugged.

Alone definitely sounded like a plan. He’d stopped at the off-licence on the way, and wondered if the two blokes in there, regulars from the pub, were going to trip him up on the way out. The grapevine had obviously been working overtime. Seemed he was headline news and at the top of everyone’s hit list, the men anyway. The women? Adam didn’t even consider going there.

‘Give her a chance, Adam. It’s a lot for anyone to get their head around, you’ve got to admit.’

‘What?’ Adam eyed him questioningly as he unlocked his door. ‘That I assault women and I’m such a shit, I don’t even admit it?’ He let it hang, watching Nathaniel carefully as he did. ‘Yes, I suppose it is.’ He smiled cynically, as Nathaniel’s cheeks flushed a telltale red.

‘Cheers, Nate.’ Adam headed down his steps, the bottles in his carrier clinking as he went.

‘Oh, come on, Adam,’ Nathaniel said despairingly. ‘You’re not going to start boozing again, are you? What good will that do?’

‘It’ll take the edge off,’ Adam assured him.

‘Until you wake up,’ Nathaniel reminded him.

Adam turned around. Nathaniel was a good friend, even if he also apparently thought he’d ‘blurred the lines’. ‘Nate, I’m okay,’ he assured him. ‘I’m going to have a drink, several possibly, but I’m not going to go OTT. I just want to be on my own for a while; think things through, that’s all.’

Nathaniel didn’t look convinced. ‘Heard that one before, haven’t I? Are you on tablets?’

Adam ran his hand through his hair, which was a bad idea. Lifting his arm was painful. His chest still felt as if it was being slowly crushed by a truck. ‘Nate, I’m fine. Bugger off and stop mothering me, will you?’

‘Just don’t overdo it.’ Nathaniel couldn’t help himself.

‘I’ve only got four, Nate. You really do need to find another case to get on, you know?’ A less hopeless case, he added mentally. ‘Look, I’ll see you later. I’ll be fine, I promise.’

Nathaniel sighed heavily and turned away, then turned back. ‘Do you remember that day on the locks at Tewksbury when we skipped school to go boat spotting,’ he asked Adam, his eyes narrowed nostalgically, ‘and that Sheerline 950 came through?’

Adam thought about it. ‘Aft cockpit, four cylinder diesel engine with bow thruster and stern thruster?’ Adam nodded. ‘Yep, I remember it well.’

‘You should do. You fell in trying to get a better look at the engine,’ Nathaniel reminded him.

‘Yeah, you didn’t help much.’ Adam’s mouth twitched briefly up at the corners.

‘What? I threw you a lifebelt!’ Nathaniel said defensively.

‘It hit me on the head, Nate.’

‘Didn’t knock any sense into you, did it?’ Nathaniel smiled wryly and paused. ‘Don’t give up on your dream, Adam. You have to have something to hold onto. Everyone does.’ He looked him over, smiled sadly, and turned to head back to the chandlery.

Adam watched his friend walking off, shaking his head as he went. Nate had always been there, right by his side, Adam the one getting into trouble, Nate fishing him out, or trying to. There was nothing much he could do to help him out of this hole, though, was there? He couldn’t blame him for not believing him, Adam supposed. Pity he hadn’t heard the conversation he’d had with Sherry the day before her caring husband had kicked the crap out of him. Adam doubted a woman who he’d supposedly attacked would have been asking him to reconsider their arrangement. She’d even texted him: When you decide you still want sex with a real woman, you’ll know where to find me. There were other texts, too. All confirming they’d had a sexual relationship. Adam was glad he’d remembered those texts, because up until then, he’d been wondering whether he had blurred the bloody lines.

Glancing despondently towards Sienna’s cottage once more, Adam sighed and closed his doors. He doubted Nathaniel would have gone for the whisky he’d also bought being for medicinal purposes, but as far as Adam was concerned, medicinal was exactly what it was. He needed anaesthetising. Drinking himself into a deep, dreamless sleep seemed a much preferable option to lying wide awake tonight, seeing things that didn’t exist, thoughts going around in his head, until he was halfway out of his mind.