EVERY JULY FOURTH, God seemed to smile on the Guardian Balloon Festival. As in years past—perhaps it was especially for the first celebration of the turn of the century—the sun beat down brightly on Guardian’s major community event, held on the grounds of the base. Its purpose, in addition to raising funds, was to increase awareness about their operation. Everyone in Catasaga County attended at some point over the two days; it also drew tourists from Buffalo, Rochester and Syracuse. The atmosphere resembled a traveling carnival, with food booths, craft sales and amusement rides like a carousel and a Ferris wheel. This year there was even a small roller coaster.
Almost all off-duty Guardian personnel volunteered to work in some capacity during the event. They manned information booths, sold T-shirts and mugs and handed out flyers. Pilots and medics ran helicopter flights at thirty dollars a shot. The balloon rides were provided by an independent company and went up at six in the morning and six at night.
“Looking for someone?” Teddy asked Spence, as they took a break by the operations tent. Spence, of course, piloted the ten-minute flights, while Teddy organized the boarding and deplaning of passengers. As Spence sipped his tart, ice-cold lemonade, he scanned the grounds.
“No, I’m not lookin’ for anybody.” Spence shrugged. “Though Jeff said he’d come down for a while. What time is it?”
“Almost four.” Teddy studied him. “You seem anxious.”
I am. To see her. Only to himself would Spence admit he had this downright stupid urge to be with Alexis Castle; it was starting to irritate him. He felt what Carl Sandburg had called a “rich soft wanting.” When he’d first read the revered American author’s phrase, he hadn’t understood its meaning. Unfortunately, he did now.
He’d tried keeping away from her. Even though they’d spent all of Father’s Day together, he’d longed to talk to her that night about his dinner with Judd. Thankfully he’d stopped himself from seeking her out. Since then, he’d spent a few hours teaching Jamie how to lure fish—the kid was a natural at everything—and taking her and Max waterskiing. But he hadn’t bumped into Alexis. Intentionally.
“Time to get back.” Teddy tossed his cup into the trash and headed toward the ship.
Spence followed. They’d signed up for two more hours of flying. When they reached the launching pad, Spence noted the long line for rides. And right smack dab in the middle was the lady he couldn’t get out of his mind
Oh, hell. She was dressed in what he’d come to call her “Jamie clothes.” Even from a distance his mouth went dry. In deference to the eight-five degree weather, she had on a tight denim skirt that ended five inches above the knee, molded her cute bottom, and sported a little slit in the front that played peekaboo with her shapely thigh. He guessed the weight she’d gained in the five weeks since her arrival had stretched the material in strategic places. The matching “top” was criminal: it was a strapless tube that fit her like a second skin. As he came closer, he got a first-rate view of the tanned shoulders exposed above her very full breasts. Her hair was pulled back loosely in a colorful tie thing, with strands escaping to frame her face. She caught his eye and he waved like a teenager spotting his girl in a crowd. Jamie turned at that minute, and yelled, “Hey, Sky King. How ya doin?”
Spence smiled like a damn fool idiot. “Hi, kid.” He nodded to Alexis. “How are you today, Miss Alexis?”
“I’m fine, Mr. Keagan.”
Three ten-minute flights later it was the Castles’ turn. Spence waited for Teddy to give the group last minute instructions: approach the ship from the nose, forty-five degrees in either direction and enter and exit only with him as their guide. In the cockpit, Spence watched Alexis advance and gritted his teeth. Each step she took strained the denim of the skirt, pulling and pushing mercilessly across her thighs. He forced himself to look away, to check the instruments, to do anything else! When they reached the ship, Teddy handed Alexis into the cockpit. As she climbed in, the skirt rode up to kingdom come, for God’s sake.
“I really think Jamie should get in the front,” she told the paramedic. “For a better view.”
The view was terrific already, Spence thought to himself, but locked his jaw shut. It would be easier with the kid next to him
“No, ma’am.” Teddy sounded sincere though Spence wondered what he was up to. “Jamie says you get motion sickness and the jostling’s less up here.”
“I took a pill.”
“Doesn’t matter. Better to be safe than sorry.”
Alexis agreed with reluctance and settled into the seat. A light flowery scent filled the cockpit, as if someone had spritzed perfume in the air.
“Hi,” she said, her lips curving sensuously.
“Hi.” He gave her a dramatic once-over. “Nice rags.”
She tugged self-consciously at the hem of the skirt, then the top. “Please! Jamie insisted I wear the outfit, even though it’s a little small.”
“The weight looks good on you.”
Again she smiled, this time a little shyly. Then she began searching for the seat belts. Teddy usually secured the passengers, but he was busy tucking Jamie, Max and two others in the four backseats, inserted for special flights like these.
Finding the straps, Alexis fumbled with which one went where.
After ordering himself not to, Spence reached over. “Here, let me help.” He swallowed hard. This close, he could see tiny freckles on her upper chest and a small mole right at the base of her throat. His eyes drifted lower. The top didn’t reveal anything a bathing suit hadn’t already, but he was mesmerized just the same by the swell of those full, womanly breasts. His hands ached to touch her.
His arm brushed them accidentally as he reached to cinch the waist clasp. He ignored her sharp intake of breath and the slight quickening of her breathing. Fastening the upper clasps, which nestled right in the middle of her breasts, was even more intimate and he had to will his hands not to shake.
You could let her do it herself, he thought. Yet he grabbed the last two buckles and fit them together. He chanced a glance into her eyes. They sparkled with awareness. Her pupils dilated. She licked her lips.
Clearing his throat, he drew back. When he spoke into the headset to the passengers behind him, his voice was husky. Teddy had hustled away and in seconds they lifted up.
“That’s nice to see,” he told Alexis when they were airborne.
“What?”
“The smile. I don’t usually transport passengers who are smiling.”
Reaching over, she squeezed his arm. His grin broadened.
“I’ve flown in airplanes a thousand times,” she said, as they headed for the clouds. “But this is better.” He veered to the left. “It’s like floating.”
“She’s a gem.” Spence patted the console. “Flies like a top.” He shot Alexis a sideways glance. “’Course, she gets lonely, being an only child and everything. She sure could use a sister.”
Alexis laughed, and Spence had to force his gaze away from the beauty of her face, lit by the simple joy of being in the air. He wondered briefly what another kind of pleasure would look like on her. With a force that surprised him, he wanted to be the one—the only one—to pleasure her.
“A sister, huh? I have a feeling she’ll get her sibling even if it isn’t from Castle Enterprises.” She nodded to the ground. “Evan Redman does a fine job in fundraising.”
“Yeah, good old Evan. Our own personal sweet-talkin’ guy.” Damn, he shouldn’t have said it. But he could imagine what Alexis in that outfit would do to good old Evan’s blood pressure.
He didn’t have to wait long. The PR guy was at the landing pad and jogged to the ship when they touched down. “Alexis, I didn’t see you arrive,” he told her as he slid open the door; his syrupy tone grated on Spence’s nerves. “Here, let me help you out of there.” Beefy hands went around her small waist like an octopus grasping its prey, and Spence’s fingers curled into a fist.
What the hell was wrong with him? He needed a date, that must be it. Nancy would be here later. Maybe he’d set something up with her.
After Redman whisked Alexis away, Spence banished her from his mind while he gave flights for another hour. Or at least he tried to forget her. Her damn perfume lingered in her absence, wafting around the cabin like a sinfully scented ghost. Finally, his shift ended. With some vague notion of pitching in with Betty and the staff, he headed for the operations tent where the Guardian crew had set up.
Teddy and Sally had wandered toward the refreshment tent and Betty was signing up passengers for tonight’s and tomorrow’s balloon flights. Redman and Alexis sat huddled together in front of a binder filled with charts. Geez, he thought irritably, didn’t the woman ever leave the office behind? Approaching them, he asked grumpily, “Where’s Jamie?”
Alexis glanced up at him. She wore wire-rimmed glasses that made her look younger. “She went to the arcade games. Jeff’s here, too. I think he went with her.”
“Oh, then I’ll head over there, too.”
“Wait. I’ll go with you.” Springing up from her seat, she removed her glasses and stuffed them in her big straw purse. “I don’t want to leave Jamie too long.”
Evan said, “Come back this way at dinnertime and I’ll treat you to some of that barbecue chicken. It’s really spicy.”
Spence caught her eye. Hers twinkled at the shared secret. “Hmm, we’ll see.”
They exited the tent side by side. He slowed his stride in deference to her stature and the tightness of the damn skirt. As they walked in the still-bright sunshine, he said, “Don’t eat the chicken.”
She rubbed her stomach. “I wasn’t going to.”
“And don’t eat supper with him.”
“Why not?”
Shrugging, and embarrassed, he stuck his hands in his flight suit pockets. “Forget I said that.”
She let it drop, thankfully.
Relaxed, they meandered through the crowds. He noticed that Alexis took everything in like a kid in a toy store. She stopped to watch a he-man impressing his girl with the test-of-strength hammer and bell game. She peered longingly at the fortune-teller. And she giggled as some little ones scooted around her, jumped onto the carousel and screamed with delight as the music began. “This is great! It reminds me of the old days when Roseland was still here. I loved that amusement park.”
“I was sorry to see them tear it down.” His hip bumped hers. He felt the heat, deep in his groin. “What was your favorite when you were a kid?”
Wistfully, she looked at the ride straight ahead. “The Ferris wheel. It was just like that one. Portia used to scare the wits out of me by rocking the seat when we got on top. But I loved it.”
He chuckled. “You’ll have to ride it with someone else this time.” Like me.
“Maybe.” Was her tone flirtatious?
They spotted Jamie, Max, Jeff, Clare and Portia by the softball toss. Clare sat to the side in a wheelchair but seemed happy to watch. As they neared the kids, Alexis and Spence burst into laughter at the sight.
Standing behind Jeff, Jamie was instructing him on the art of pitching a softball. “No. Geez, Jeff, you throw like an old woman.”
Max snickered and Jeff frowned at them both.
Portia said, “Watch it, young lady. I won’t have you disparage my age or sex.”
Jamie rolled her eyes. “You can’t throw either.” She caught sight of Alexis. “And here comes the world- class klutz.”
“That does it.” Portia waved Alexis and Spence over. “Lexy and I will take on you and Max to see who knocks over the most cans.”
The young concession guy, who’d been flirting shamelessly with Portia, said, “I’ll give you some warm-ups.”
Backing up, right into Spence, Alexis shook her head. “I don’t want to do this.”
Instinctively, Spence’s hand came up to her waist and squeezed it gently. She leaned into his touch as easily as he gave it. “Go on, Lex. I’ll help you.”
“No fair,” Jamie whined.
“All’s fair in the battle of the generations.” Portia was already studying the alignment of the cans with the ball.
Jamie and Max warmed up on the set at the far end, with Jeff cheering for the peanut gallery. Alexis and Portia were at the other end, with Spence urging them on from behind. Clare had wheeled herself to the middle for a panoramic view.
Alexis was pitiful. She could water-ski, but apparently, any other sport eluded her. Well, he’d just have to be the Good Samaritan. “Here, let me show you.” He stood so close her hair brushed his chin. Right beneath his eyes were tanned shoulders begging to be touched. Instead, he drew back a little. “All right, bring your arm up so your hand’s parallel to your shoulder.” She followed his instructions. “Now, when you throw the ball, lock your wrist. Jamie’s right. Girls use just their wrists. You’ve got to put your whole arm into it, when you toss a ball.”
Her second attempt was better. But she kept her body facing the cans. So he did it—against his better judgment, and cursing himself like a sinner—he raised his hands and placed them gently on her shoulders and turned her to the side. Once he touched that creamy skin, he couldn’t let go. Of their own accord, his fingers rubbed her gently. “There, that’s it. That’s good.” Actually it felt stupendous. Her skin was as soft and supple as it looked. Warm flesh pulsed under his fingertips. She stilled. Though it wasn’t a particularly intimate touch, it was his bare flesh on her bare flesh and both felt the sexual charge.
Spence wondered what the hell they were going to do about it.
o0o
AT SIX O’CLOCK, Alexis hovered under the shade of a huge oak tree and nibbled on a plain hamburger. Her eyes kept straying across the field to Spence and his “girlfriend.” She hadn’t known that he had one. Not that it mattered.
The two of them lazed on an army blanket. Spence had stretched out on his side, the long lean lines of his body accented by the position and his one-piece flight suit. Nancy Anderson sat cross-legged, about three feet away. Dressed in white shorts and a black tank top, the statuesque blonde with hair rippling down her back made Alexis feel like a scrawny teenage boy. A soft laugh drifted over to her. The pretty woman was amused by something Spence had said.
Alexis’s hand traveled to her bare shoulder. Running her fingers over the skin, she closed her eyes briefly, reliving the sensations that Spence’s calloused fingertips had created earlier. She shivered, just as she had then.
After their game at the softball toss—Jamie and Max had won only by a narrow margin—the Castles and the McPhersons and the Keagans wandered the grounds together, leisurely chatting, immersing themselves in the smell of hot dogs and fried dough, listening to the soft bark of the concession people and absorbing the warm rays of the sun. Alexis had strolled next to Spence, feeling both enervated and comforted by his presence. It was at dinnertime that his surprise had arrived.
The woman had approached them while they were standing in line for food. “No need to wait to eat, Keag,” a sultry voice had declared. Spence and Alexis circled around to see Nancy Anderson behind them.
She was kind to everyone, especially Clare, even as she dragged Spence away for a cozy meal under the tree. Truthfully, he appeared relieved to be going. And that had hurt.
“Penny for your thoughts.” Alexis gazed up at Portia. Her friend’s face was darkly tanned and her black hair was pulled back in a braid. With her fringed sleeveless vest, she almost looked like a Native American.
“Just enjoying the weather,” Alexis lied, boldly.
Plunking down onto the blanket, Portia sighed. “Isn’t the festival great?”
“Hmm.” Alexis studied Jamie and Max by the lake, where they’d wheeled Clare to feed the ducks. But eventually her eyes strayed back to Spence.
Portia followed her gaze. “Nancy’s a nice woman.”
“She seems it.”
“Spence and she have dated off and on for years.”
Now that was something Alexis could have lived without knowing. “How nice.” She tossed the suddenly tasteless burger into the bag and fought the urge to curl her fists into the blanket.
“Not good for Nancy. Spence isn’t the settling-down type.”
“Is she?”
“It’s no secret she’d like to nail him.”
“And he can’t be nailed?”
“Not so far.” Portia’s eyes focused on the pilot. “Maybe with the right woman.”
Alexis stood, then, and said, “Well, I hope she finds him,” and headed for Jamie and Clare.
Just before the fireworks, at about nine, Jamie tugged on Alexis’s hand. They were in front of the huge Ferris wheel. The festival lights sparkled off the cars as customers piled into them. “Come on, Mom. Sit with me.”
“Not on your life. I know you. You’ll scare me to death.” She handed the concession guy her ticket and jumped into the vacant car. “I’ll go alone.”
As she closed the bar, her daughter called out “Chicken!” and climbed into the next car with Portia. Max kept Clare company on the ground.
Alexis smiled and leaned back against the seat, surrounded by the smell of vinyl and grease. Jamie was having fun, and it was gratifying to see her so happy. The Ferris wheel bumped up. Alexis was having fun, too. Her stomach hadn’t bothered her in weeks. She’d been right to come to Catasaga. She scanned the grounds. Except for one problem, which could be controlled. All she had to do was stay away from him
Where was he, now? she wondered, as the ride hitched up a notch. Off with Nancy Anderson? He’d finished his volunteer stint. Maybe they’d gone back to her place, or his. Surely they’d be sleeping together. A virile man like Spence probably had an active sex life. The thought made her stomach churn and her heart ache. The Ferris wheel moved again. Dimly, she realized that something was different, though. The car wasn’t going up; instead it was coming down. She hoped nothing was wrong—she’d been looking forward to this ride all day. When she reached the bottom, the bar suddenly swung back and Spence jumped into her car.
“I know the concession guy.” He grinned. “Thought you might want some company.”
She pretended to scold him, though her heart was tripping in her chest. “Only if you promise not to rock the car at the top.”
“Hell, darlin’, that’s half the fun.”
o0o
THE FERRIS WHEEL made its slow, deliberate ascent, much like a helicopter lifting off. At each stop, Spence shifted dramatically in his seat. The first few times, Alexis was brave, gripping the bar, ignoring his antics. As they neared the top, however, she inched closer to him. He took up more than half the car, with his wide shoulders and his long legs, so his proximity to Alexis suited him just fine.
He shook his head at his own, contradictory behavior. He’d decided he needed a date, and Nancy had provided the ideal opportunity when she showed up with supper. But Spence had been unable to get Alexis out of his mind. He’d kept seeing her innocent reaction to the fair and feeling her creamy skin underneath his fingertips. So he’d left Nancy abruptly with a lame excuse, and sought out the Castles. Now he was deliberately flirting with Alexis, instigating the physical closeness that he craved.
It felt damn good.
He smiled and made small talk. “Nice out tonight, isn’t it?” He rocked again and idly glanced up at the stars.
“Yes, it is. Stop rocking this thing, Keagan.”
“Nah.” He winked at her. “How else am I gonna get a pretty girl to sit close to me?”
Pointedly, she glanced down to the mob on the ground. “You don’t seem to have trouble in that department.” Her voice held a trace of frost that would do Miss Alexis proud.
“Nope, can’t say I have.”
“Nancy Anderson looks like Jenna.”
“A little.”
“You always date Jenna clones?”
“No. I like variety.” And right now, the one at the top of his list was a breath away from snuggling next to him.
Rock, rock.
“Spence!”
They were one bump-up away from the top. “How about you?” he asked, nonchalantly sliding his arm along the back of the seat. When his hand grazed her head, it gave him an excuse to do what he’d wanted to do all day long—pull out the tie. A mass of fluffy hair, curling every which way, fell around her bare shoulders.
At first, she stilled, then leaned back into his arm.
“You always date suits?” he asked.
“Usually.”
He couldn’t keep himself from probing, “Was Jamie’s father a suit?”
A slight pause, then she shook her head.
Rock, rock. She inched closer, fitting just right into the crook of his shoulder.
When they reached the very pinnacle, he rocked his best.
And the effort was worth it.
All warm and feminine, she turned her head into his shoulder and nestled close.
His hand came down to touch her bare arm. Up and down he caressed her, loving the feel of her skin beneath his fingers. “Shh, it’s all right.”
“If you’d just stop rocking.”
He chuckled, his lips in her hair, near her ear. “You think I’m nuts?” His hand slid higher, up to those creamy shoulders where he grazed his fingertips back and forth.
She curled fully into him.
So this was Alexis acquiescent. Relaxed. He cuddled her to him and settled his chin on her head. She ran a hand across his chest, left it there, and sighed. The soft sound zinged through him like a shot of good bourbon. And made him hard.
Stupid, he told himself. There was nothing but trouble ahead with this woman if he let nature take its course. He should push her away. Instead, he glanced up at the canopy of stars above, tugged her as close as he could and kissed the top of her head.
And rocked some more.
o0o
THE SHRILL OF the microphone, piped into the bunk room of Guardian Flight Base, roused Spence out of a dead sleep. Still, he was on his feet and out the door in seconds.
So was Teddy. Both men raced to the operations center where Sally was on duty as the night dispatcher. The large clock on the wall told him it was three in the morning, and the computer screen gave him permission to fly. Out in the hangar, the ground crew would start preparing the helicopter for takeoff. Meanwhile, Teddy recorded the information from the on-site medics over the phone.
Spence couldn’t help overhearing some of the details: Passenger train collided with a tractor trailer...nearby small town of Geneva...driver and several passengers dead...more injured...HazMat team on-site...nasty diesel fuel spill. After receiving a firm okay on the weather, Spence and Teddy hustled out of the base with Sally’s sober, “Good luck, guys,” trailing after them.
Headsets in place, they were strapped in the ship and lifting off in just under their usual five-minute response time. Teddy’s grave voice broke the silence. “It’s a kid, Keag. Three-year-old was thrown all over the train. I always hated that those trains didn’t have seat belts. The firemen got her out, but her mother didn’t make it.” Teddy swallowed hard. “It doesn’t look good for the baby.”
It looked even worse when they landed. Emergency vehicles crowded in every square foot of space. Huge generators illuminated the crash site, so that it resembled a scene from a science fiction movie after an alien attack. They alighted quickly. Spence helped Teddy drag out the short spine board and the wheeled stretcher from the back of the ship. Teddy hustled toward a somber-faced medic who was motioning him over. Spence readied the passenger compartment, then headed for the firemen as two ambulances tore out of the area; the wailing sirens pierced the still night air.
A weary, soot-faced battalion chief nodded to him. “The truck tried to turn into an adjacent street at an unguarded crossing,” the man explained. “The train dragged it almost eighty yards before it stopped.”
“How many injured?” Spence asked.
“We lost count.” He nodded to Teddy’s group, where the paramedic hunched over the stretcher. “You got a bad one there.” He shook his head. “I don’t envy you.”
“Any relative survive?” Spence asked.
Again the firefighter shook his head. “Other passengers tell us it was just her and her mother.”
Teddy waved Spence over. Steeling himself for the sight, Spence hurried to the victim. The little girl had been strapped onto the small spine board, with several rolled-up towels outlining her frail torso and dark-haired head for further stabilization. She was unconscious, but moaning—her small fingers clenched into fists. As he and Teddy lifted the backboard onto the stretcher, and headed for the plane, Teddy filled him in. “Obvious head injury.” Spence had seen the bruises around the oxygen mask and understood the need to immobilize her spine. “More than likely she has multisystem injuries, probably in her chest area.”
Carefully sliding the stretcher into the ship, Teddy vaulted in with the patient and Spence slammed the doors shut. He circled around, jumped into the cockpit, cranked the engine and took off in seconds.
He could hear Teddy’s soft voice in the back. “Come on little one, don’t give up.” Some shuffling. More crooning. “Blood pressure’s going down. Pulse is erratic. Come on sweetheart. Breathe. We’ll get you home yet.”
Spence prayed, as he often did in critical moments. He knew the dangers this time: shock, since a toddler’s blood volume was so small; and internal injuries—blood or air in the thoracic cavity. Any number of things could snuff the life out of the child like a careless wind extinguishing a candle.
He also mouthed the words to Donne’s poem, “Do not go gentle into that good night,” then added, “Please!” in case good manners made a difference.
There was nothing else Teddy could do except to keep talking to her. For several minutes, just the drone of the medic’s voice, with that of the engine and rotor blades, reverberated through the small confines of the helicopter cabin.
But just as the heliport to Rochester’s City Hospital, with its miracle-producing new pediatric ward, came into view, Teddy stopped talking
And Spence stopped praying.
o0o
THE SUN ROSE over the lake like a giant ball of fire—hot and beautiful—at seven-thirty in the morning. Alexis hummed as she made decaf coffee and crossed to the windows facing the water while she waited for it to brew. A soft breeze blew into the front room, ruffling her off-white, satiny tap pants and matching camisole. She had been too hot to wear the robe that went with the outfit, so she’d draped it over a chair.
Things were going well. Jamie had found a soul mate—though a mute one most of the time—in Max, discovered new relatives in the McPhersons and befriended the Keagans.
The last brought a smile to her lips, despite her growing concern about her feelings for Spence. She could still picture him three nights ago, rocking the damn Ferris wheel. As he’d expected, she’d cuddled into him. His caresses on her bare shoulder and in her hair had felt better than anything she could remember. Closing her eyes, she savored the sweet sensations again.
She didn’t know when she’d stopped denying her feelings for him or thinking that their relationship had to end in August. Maybe, after she made her decision about Guardian, they could start dating. Certainly not now. There could be all sorts of horrible accusations. That Spence was using her to win the grant. That for a million dollars, he’d cuddle with the devil. And what about her professional reputation? Who would believe that she had remained objective in the office, while necking with the head pilot in private. The whole question of conflict of interest unnerved her—for many reasons—so she shoved it away and tried to think positively. Who knew, in five or six weeks, what might happen? Though she’d be back in Rochester at the end of the summer, the city was only forty miles away. She still had three more steps to complete for the grant: analyze the results of the independent audit—which were due in any day now—investigate the training program and take a simulated flight next week. All told, she should have the last two weeks of August to compile her information and make a recommendation. Then she’d be free...
When the rich, strong scent of coffee filled the air, she poured a mugful, donned the robe and strolled out to the porch to enjoy the early July sunshine. No sooner had she sat down on a padded bench, than she saw him.
Still in his flight suit—apparently he’d just returned from his night shift at the base—Spence strode purposefully down the grassy incline between his house and the McPhersons’ cottage. His boots stomped the wooden planking out to the end of his dock; she assumed he’d get into the boat and drive away.
He didn’t. Instead, he kicked off his boots and socks, rolled up his pant legs and dropped down onto the dock’s edge. Dunking his feet in the water, he stared out at the lake for a few moments, then hunched his shoulders and wearily rubbed his hands over his face.
Something was wrong.
It took her only a few minutes to decide. After pouring a steaming mug of coffee for him—how did she know he took it black?—she crossed Portia’s yard and headed for his dock.
She called from a few feet behind him, remembering what he’d told her about vets hating loud noises and people sneaking up on them. In a public place, they always sat with their backs to the wall, where they could watch the door.
At first, he stiffened, then glanced over his shoulder.
His mouth was grim but it was his eyes that stopped her. They’d held a warrior’s sadness in them.
For a moment, she watched him, then handed him the mug. He stared at it, though he took it from her. “Thanks.” His voice was raw, as if he’d been shouting.
“Mind if I sit?”
“I’m not very good company.”
“I don’t care.”
He shrugged, which she took as silent consent. Perching on the edge of the dock, she sat close but not touching. They watched the lake ripple and ebb for a few moments, tracked a soaring pigeon, then a hawk.
“This is usually my favorite time on the lake,” he finally said.
“I can see why. I’ve found myself looking forward to these mornings alone and I’ve only been here six weeks.”
“Where’s the kid?”
“She stayed overnight at Max’s.”
Spence’s brow arched. “There’s a switch. Usually those damned parents can’t be bothered.”
“You told Jamie they did their best. They worked day and night to make a success of the business.”
“Well, before they know it, Max will be grown.” He shook his head. “If only people knew how temporary life is—how fleeting.” The pain in his voice reached out to her like a lover’s hand in the dark.
“Spence, did something happen?”
He was quiet a long time. “Yeah.”
She waited.
“We lost a kid. A baby, really. Three years old.”
“Oh, my God.” Instinctively she grasped his arm. Instead of shrugging her off, as she’d half expected, he seized her hand in his, and gripped it, as if he needed human contact. She held on tight.
“Severe head and chest injuries. She was breathin’ when we got there and we almost got to the hospital...” His voice trailed off, rusty with pain. “We waited around, to talk to the doctors; they said there was nothing we could have done.” He picked up her hand and brought it to his mouth. Lightly, he kissed it, as if he didn’t even know what he was doing. “I...I...” He didn’t continue. And again Alexis waited. “I found her sneaker in the ship when we got back to the base. This little pink thing with Pooh Bear on it. Must have fallen off in transport. Teddy broke down when he saw the thing.”
Alexis battled back the tears. Spence needed strength now, and companionship. “Where is Teddy?”
“He went home with Sally.”
And you came here alone. “I’m sorry.”
His whole face strained, he stared up at the bright blue, cloudless sky—a much too-cheerful backdrop to his harsh reality. “You never get used to it, you know? Never. I saw so many people die in the Middle East. So many kids. And still, I feel each one.”
“Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”
“It’s all so senseless.”
“Yes, it is.”
Looking back out to the lake, he sipped his coffee. She sipped hers. All the time, their hands rested clasped together on his knee. They didn’t speak for a while, then talked of other things. “The ducks haven’t been around—she’s probably incubating...Jamie’s book was a nice gift...so, any special plans for the rest of the summer?”
After half an hour, Spence’s stomach growled. He snorted. “Hungry, I guess.”
She grinned. “That’s a good sign.”
“Life goes on.”
“But you’re changed a little every time, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” He sought out her gaze, then stared deeply into her eyes. “Life becomes more precious; I realize how important it is to use every day, wisely. Not to shy away from feelings. From takin’ risks.”
She gave him an answering look.
“How about if I fix you breakfast?” he asked.
She shook her head.
The grim lines reappeared on his face.
“But I’ll fix it for you,” she said.
“Miss Alexis can cook?”
She raised her chin. “I’ll have you know, Lexy’s a real short-order chef when she has to be.”
“Okay, but I’ve got all the ingredients so you can do it in my kitchen while I clean up.”
Suddenly, she felt self-conscious. “I should change.”
He shook his head. “Nope.” Standing, he reached for her hand again. “That satin suits me just fine. Come on, you’re more covered up than if you put on a bathing suit.” He pulled her up.
“All right, show me the kitchen.”