Humbled

Joel sat in the seat a while longer. He thought maybe Abigail would soften. After a couple of minutes, she hadn’t. He found himself in unfamiliar territory. He was armed for her anger and outrage but hadn’t contemplated simply being ignored. He stood with the intent of apologizing once again, as the depth of her hurt had been exposed. Upon further consideration, he kept quiet. He wasn’t going to push her. He approached the doorway and turned to face her. Abigail wouldn’t look up. He exited her office, not sure if their friendship was completely dead or in a coma. He’d have to wait and see.

What couldn’t wait was getting a job. He had to find a gig and fast. It was the only thread enabling him to maintain his grip on sanity. Abigail was a bust, but there was another executive at DMI who had the power to help him.

Joel squared his shoulders and put some pep in his steps. Don’s office was several doors down the hallway. He walked every inch of the short distance with confidence. He’d volleyed back and forth between Abigail’s office and his old office too many times to count. They’d logged many miles together. Beyond DMI, he missed her friendship, especially now. She was the one he would have discussed the pregnancy with and would have relied on for input. He knew better than to broach the subject. Their relationship was too fractured for him to mention the pregnancy to her. It was clear that she wasn’t interested in him, let alone his problems with Zarah. He had to believe she’d allow forgiveness to carve a small place in her heart for him to enter sometime soon. For now, though, he had to focus on his most urgent matter.

He stepped up to the desk of Don’s assistant, with whom Joel hadn’t worked previously. She greeted him. Although he’d been out of the office for a short period, the group appeared to be much the same. People on the executive floor knew him. He didn’t waste time on small talk.

“Is my brother in?”

“He is, and I think he just ended a call. So he’s available. Would you like for me to let him know you’re here?”

“No,” he said, tapping the counter attached to the workstation. Joel took a few steps and knocked on Don’s office door and walked in. He found Don at his conference table, across the room from his desk.

“How’s it going, big brother?” he asked.

“Good, good.” Don stood to shake Joel’s hand. “I thought you’d left town.”

“I did, and I’ve returned.” They sat.

“I was under the impression you were gone for good. What brings you home so soon?”

“Business . . .” Joel could tell him about the baby, but the timing didn’t feel right. He’d keep his personal business off the table and limit the scope of their conversation to DMI, where he had better odds of success.

“What kind of business?” Don asked, fumbling with his pen on the table.

Joel was apprehensive. He didn’t have a good sense of where Don was with forgiveness. A lot had happened by Joel’s doing, much of it not good for Don or DMI. He understood there were fences to be mended. Don had been the peacemaker in their family over the past year. Joel prayed he was still wearing the cloak of restoration. This was Joel’s last option. Don had to give him a break.

“I’m looking for a job. I figured I might as well come here first.”

Don peered at his brother without revealing any reaction, causing Joel to grow tense.

“Really? Hmm,” Don uttered. He flipped his pen onto the table, latched his hands behind his head, and reared back in his seat. “I certainly didn’t anticipate this visit.”

“I didn’t, either.”

Silence hovered over them. Joel couldn’t tell if Don was contemplating an answer or recovering from the shock of his request. Silence remained as Don stared into the openness and played with his pen. Joel couldn’t take it anymore.

“What do you think?” he asked. Joel watched Don pinch the tip of his nose slowly and let his gaze fall. Joel wasn’t sensing positive vibes. He had to convince Don to say yes before his brother said no. “Don’t you have to replace Abigail?”

“What does that mean?” Joel asked.

“I haven’t given up on getting her to stay. We both know how valuable she is to DMI. Dad hired her, and I see why. As long as I’m CEO, she has a job.”

This time Joel leaned back in his seat. “Good luck with getting her to stay. I just left her office, and Abigail didn’t give any indication that she’s staying with DMI. Actually, I got the impression she is ready to walk out any minute.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but time can heal wounds and change our minds.”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” Joel said, digesting the message. “So what do you say, big brother? Is there a place for me here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, you have at least one vacancy. I don’t have to be on executive row.”

Don snickered. “So you’re willing to take a job in the mail room? Is that what you’re telling me?”

Joel snickered too. “Maybe not starting at ground level, but I’m willing to take on a senior vice president or even a vice president role.”

Don smirked. “Neither is the role for you, and you know it. You wouldn’t be satisfied.”

“No, it’s not a good idea. Get real. You were the CEO,” Don pointed out. “How are you going to be reduced to a junior level role? That’s like the president of the United States becoming a city councilman after serving two terms. It’s unheard of.”

Don had a point. Yet the fact remained that Joel needed a job, a purpose. He had to make a new entrance onto the corporate stage. Being sidelined was agony. “I need this, Don,” he confessed. “I’ve run out of options. You’re my last hope.”

“Don’t put this kind of pressure on me. God is your last hope.”

“But he can direct you to help me.” Joel rubbed his forehead. He rattled off a silent prayer, not sure where God was with his jumbled state of affairs.

“I’ll tell you what,” Don said, interrupting Joel’s prayer. “I can’t say yes, but I’m not saying no, either. I have to figure out where we’re taking DMI before I fill any vacancies.”

Joel saw the lifeline slipping out of his hands. He made one more effort to hold on. “What about your other company, LTI? Don’t you have any openings there? I don’t mind going to South Africa, if that’s what it takes.”

“LTI isn’t in the picture,” Don said, giving him a rapid response.

It wasn’t what Don said that made Joel cringe. It was how his brother spoke that made Joel take notice. He swallowed the rejection and didn’t pursue the suggestion any further.

“So you can’t think of a single job for me at DMI, not one?”

“Nope, not right now, but I’ll keep you in mind.”

Joel tapped on the table a few times and pushed his chair back to stand. “If you change your mind, you know where to reach me.”

He entered the hallway and meandered to the bank of elevators, drawing on each ounce of dignity he had reserved. There wasn’t a large dose available, as humiliation was nibbling at him with every step. Joel kept wondering if God was as merciful as he had once believed. If He was, then his savior had to meet him on the ground floor. Otherwise he was finished.

Finally, the elevator door opened. He stepped into the den of doom. The door closed, and he descended into greater despair.