Chapter 26

 

One might have thought that I’d completely lost it by jumping Logan like that. Maybe I had, but it was so much more than a quick release. He’d given me a part of him, a deep, dark part. I was merely returning the gesture. I could never confide in him about my past but I could give him something of me. The problem was, I hadn’t just given him my body, I gave him a part of my heart too.

Still, I couldn’t muster up a single ounce of regret.

As we made our way back to the ranch, I noticed that there were a few more cars parked; meaning Eli and Chase were joining the BBQ too. The mere thought of spending the afternoon in Sheriff Jackson’s presence gave me the wrong kind of chills. My brain was already coming up with valid reasons for me and Flynn to head out early when the ATV pulled to a stop.

Both Logan and I were slow to leave the little bubble we’d created for ourselves. About halfway between the house and the parked vehicles, he brought us to an abrupt halt. Stepping into my line of vision, Logan cupped my cheeks.

With his eyes roaming over my face, he whispered, “Thank you.”

The intensity of his gaze and the gentle tone to his voice was too much. Suddenly I was feeling raw and emotional. What I wanted most was to get out of there. Before I could voice my thoughts, the front door swung open followed by, “And where have you two been?”

I peeked around Logan’s shoulder to find Chase looking at us, amusement brightening his features. Logan, on the other hand, did not look impressed at all. Shooting his brother a look, he gritted out, “Give us a minute.” Chase opened his mouth, possibly to make some smartass remark, but quickly shut it again before disappearing into the house.

When I was the sole focus of those whiskey-eyes again, my heart started to beat furiously. I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down in a hard swallow; I swear I’d never get used to seeing this man display nervousness.

“Harper,” he said after a while. “About what happened-“ He paused and jerked his head in the direction of the woods we just came from, woods where we’d just made love!

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but he didn’t sound overly excited. The only things I could presume were that he either regretted sleeping with me or now that he had had me, I was out of his system. It didn’t matter which one it was, I wasn’t about to let him see the hurt I suddenly felt.

Stepping to the side, I broke the physical contact we had. I met his gaze and let an expressionless veil fall over my face. “I get it,” I lifted my shoulder nonchalantly. “It was what it was and we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Whoa,” his head snapped back as if I’d just slapped him across the face. “Sugar, if you think I don’t want to talk about it, you’re absolutely misreading the situation. In fact,” he reached for me and wrapped an arm around my waist before dragging me closer. “I don’t just wanna talk about it; I would very much like for it to happen again sometime soon.”

His dark head stooped until our lips were just a breath apart. “We do have some things to talk about, though.” After giving me a quick kiss, Logan grabbed my hand. “But first we need to get through this BBQ.”

Yeah, I had no idea how I was going to do that. Nevertheless, I followed him through the house to the backyard where everyone was engrossed in their own conversations. Chase and his mother were huddled over the salad table, Eli and his father were staring at the grill with beers in hand and my boy was enjoying the company of his new best friends; Dozer and Eli’s little girl, Molly.

Flynn looked so happy without a care in the world. His little head thrown back in laughter while the pup excitedly barked at him was by far the most beautiful thing I’d seen that day. I tried my very best to ignore the little voice telling me that this was what my life could look like if I trusted Logan with my secret.

“C’mon,” I was relieved when he pulled me in the direction of the salad table instead of the grill. The longer I could avoid Eli the better. It was also not lost on me that when Logan wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him, I went without resistance. I was starting to feel a little too comfortable wrapped up in him.

“At long last, the lovebirds return.” Chase shoved his hands in his back pockets and showed his teeth in a wide smile, the only other person whose smile could rival his was Daisy.

Logan lifted his middle finger and scratched his nose with it. The youngest Jackson burst out laughing, clearly getting the not-so-subtle message.

“Think you can detach yourself from the poor woman long enough to grab a beer with me?” Chase jerked his head in the direction of the other men.

“You gonna be alright, Sugar?” His words were just for me to hear and I honestly had no idea why he’d be worried to leave me with his mother now, I’d just spent the morning helping her with the salads.

Still, I cocked my head and stared up into those eyes and said, “Yeah.”

After dropping a quick kiss on my head, Logan and Chase made their way to the grill. I couldn’t help but stare after him like an idiot, and not just because he was good looking. The things this man was making me feel were both terrifying and exciting.

“He’s pretty special.”

Snapping my head to the side I found Daisy looking at me with a soft smile on her face. It was almost as if she knew what I was thinking but she also understood that I was afraid. Jerking her head toward the kids and the dog, she repeated, “He’s pretty special.”

I followed her gaze and couldn’t help the smile on my lips. “He is,” It was true for both Flynn and Logan. I felt Daisy move in closer next to me as we watched the children squeal while being chased by the Rottweiler.

“It’s a shame,” Logan’s mom said. “It’s truly a shame that you have to raise that little man by yourself. Not that you’ve done a bad job,” she added when I turned to look at her. “It’s just that we all need someone to help carry our burdens.”

I was confused and feeling a little defensive. “Flynn is not a burden.”

Daisy’s face turned the brightest shade of red. “Of course not, honey.” Her gaze snapped to where the men were laughing about something before returning to mine. “That boy of mine will disown me for saying this, but I can’t not say it.”

Reaching forward, she gripped both my hands in hers. “Logan isn’t too good at communicating with words but that boy’s eyes could never hide anything…not from me anyway.” Over my shoulder, she gave the men a quick glance. “The way he looks at you and your son…He wants to be part of your little unit.”

Her eyes found mine again, and I could see the distress in them. It was that special kind of concern that parents reserved for their children. “He might look unbreakable but I can assure you, he isn’t. I’m not telling you what to do or who to be with. I’m just asking you to be careful with my boy’s heart.”

She might as well have wrapped her hands around my throat and squeezed. Her words had the same suffocating effect. Every single time I’d thought that I’d found my footing around Logan, something happened that showed me I was still crawling while everyone else was sprinting.

It was unnerving!

Pulling free from her grip, I searched for Flynn. The moment I spotted him, I started to move. I made two steps before warm hands cupped my shoulders. “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to upset you. You shouldn’t bother with the ramblings of an old woman.”

Daisy moved to my front and pulled me in for a hug, I was too shell-shocked to even bring my arms up to return her embrace. “Please forget I said anything.” I heard the plea in her voice and I found myself nodding just to appease her. The truth was I couldn’t forget and now I had to figure out where I was going to go from here.

What I needed was to get out of there and clear my mind. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option as Logan’s mother started walking toward the men with her arm still wrapped around me. As expected the greeting between me and Eli was a bit stiff but if anyone noticed they didn’t show it.

“So, Harper had this idea that we set up a find-your-match-website for the shelter animals,” Chase announced. “It’s gonna be like Tinder but just with animals.”

“That’s brilliant,” Logan said, beaming at me.

“Hmm, real smart.” His dad added.

“I don’t have it all figured out yet,” I tried to sound upbeat and cheery, kind of difficult to do when I could feel Eli’s glare. “But I’m hopeful that after I’ve talked with a few people I’ll have a plan of action.”

Daisy let go of me and wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist, resting her head against his chest. The expression on Charles’s face coupled with the way he held her close, tugged at something in my heart. It made me feel alone and a little out of my depth.

“Hey,” I felt Logan’s breath fan my cheek. When he pulled me into him I pushed the feeling of being home as far back as I could. I had no right to feel at home in this man’s arms. “Flynn seems to be doing great but are you coping with my crazy-ass family?” Nor did I have the right to let his words make me feel at ease.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Flynn running at full speed with his arms spread wide, Dozer jogging next to him, tongue lolling to the side. Logan was right; my boy was definitely doing much better than his mommy.

“Your family is great.”

Logan chuckled and then whispered, “Everyone except Eli, right?”

I wrinkled my nose but chose not to answer. Not that an answer was necessary, most people already knew that Sheriff Jackson and I did not get along at all. And, honestly, I was good with that, as long as he didn’t start digging where he wasn’t supposed to.

I actually enjoyed myself a lot more than I thought I would. Witnessing the Jackson family interact and joke around with each other was such a treat. Even Eli joined in, his features softening every time Daisy would address him.

The sun had barely disappeared from the sky when Flynn started to yawn. I thought that it would be the perfect time for us to leave but Logan’s mom insisted I lay him down in one of her guestrooms so I could stay for dessert. And if Logan was to be believed it was the best pecan pie in the south.

After pulling the blanket over Flynn’s little body, I dropped a kiss on his forehead. He was so pooped; his mouth had gaped before his head had hit the pillow. With one last glance over my shoulder, I closed the door a smidge and headed back outside.

I managed one step before I had to stop. Most of the Jackson clan were huddled around a big fire, the glow bathing them in orange. Joyous laughter filtered through the air and mocked me. It taunted me because this wasn’t where I belonged. These people didn’t deserve the kind of baggage I came with.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but I knew what I had to do. Spinning on my heel I prepared to march back into the house just to have my path blocked by none other than Sheriff Jackson.

With his legs spread wide and arms folded over his chest, he was clearly trying to intimidate me. I had to admit; it was working but I’d never let him see that.

“Excuse me, please,” I said when he made no indication of moving once I reached the door.

“You may have everyone else wrapped around your little finger,” he sneered down at me. “But I am not fooled by your act.”

Planting my hands on my hips, I glared right back him. ‘What’s your damn problem?”

“You are!” Eli’s head lowered until we were staring at each other, eye to eye. The slight twitch in his lip reminding me so much of Drew at that moment. “You’re not Harper Evans and once your real identity comes to light, this game you’re playing with my brother will be over.”

Ice cold fear gripped me by the throat and stole the air from my lungs. How did he know and more importantly what did he know? It was very possible that this was just a fishing expedition and that he had absolutely no knowledge of my past.

It took all my strength, but I managed to school my features enough to not seem fazed. “You have an amazing imagination, Sheriff. You should consider going into writing.” The steady tone of my voice surprised even me. “As for Logan, whatever games he and I may or may not be playing, has got nothing to do with you.” I took a step forward and prayed that he didn’t see the slight tremble in my legs. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m all partied out.”

I wasn’t sure why but Eli stepped to the side allowing to me move past him. Just when I thought I was in the clear, he wrapped his hand around my upper arm and gritted into my ear, “I’ve got my eye on you.”

My gaze flitted between his hand on me and the intimidating look in his eyes. “Maybe that’s why you’re still single.” Pulling my arm free, I headed for the guestroom and scooped Flynn into my arms before marching to my car.

I’d just placed my boy on the back seat and was about to open the driver side door when I spotted Logan leaning against the hood with his arms crossed.

“Where ya off to, Sugar?” I heard the irritation in his voice but unfortunately for us both, I was pretty ticked off too.

“Home, Logan. I’m going home.”

He pushed off the hood and took a step toward me. “I saw you and Eli just now, what did he say to upset you?”

Licking my lips, I shook my head. “He didn’t say anything. I just realized that I never should have come here.”

“Just realized my ass,” Another step toward me, only this time I took one backward. Logan stopped moving, a deep frown creasing his forehead. “My idiot-brother said something-“

“It’s not Eli, it’s you!” I yelled. “I told you, I didn’t want any of this but you kept pushing and pushing until you wore me down. I don’t want you, Logan!”

I saw the pain of my words flash across his face as I tasted the bitter lie on my tongue. “You don’t want me, but still you gave me your body.” His words were whisper-soft, but I heard them loud and clear.

One more lie. I needed to utter one more piece of untruth. Blinking back the tears that were suddenly burning the back of my eyes I said, “It was a mistake. You were a mistake.”

Even in darkness, I could see the blood drain from his face. All I wanted to do was rush over, wrap my arms around him and whisper what I really felt. I couldn’t do that, though, not when there was the smallest possibility that Eli knew my secret.

I tugged on the door handle and proceeded to slide behind the wheel of my Nissan. Logan was still staring into nothingness when I turned the key and my car sputtered to life. Without giving him a second glance I backed out, turned my car around and rolled down the little dirt road; my cheeks getting wetter and wetter the further I drove.