Chapter 21

 

 

The sound of gravel crunching beneath tires might as well have been a punch to the gut or a knife to my heart. I raced to the door and was just in time to see Kenzie's Mazda kick up a cloud of dust as she sped away.

"Shit!" I yelled and as I headed back inside the curses didn't stop coming. What the hell was wrong with me? Stomping into the kitchen, I tried to replay the conversation we'd had mere moments ago but to be honest, I didn't remember much past, 'Dean is a good man, he doesn't deserve this.'

I both envied and hated the bastard. Somewhere in my brain, it registered that neither Kenzie nor I was to blame for what happened between us all those years ago. That didn't stop the feeling of betrayal or pang of jealousy eating at my gut. Dean, the asshole, had Kenzie's loyalty and her love too.

I looked down at my hands; I could still feel the smoothness of her skin. The taste of her still lingered on my tongue, and her scent filled my lungs with every breath I took.

My discarded beer caught my eye, and I moved to grab it, only it was empty. The volcano of anger inside me finally erupted as I hurled the bottle across the room. The shattering sound of glass barely registered.

Fueled by anger and high on hurt, I marched into the living room. As usual, the butterflies on the bookcase mocked me. They had no right to the space they were taking up, in my home and my heart.

I crossed the room, and with one swipe of my arm, I sent the delicate sculptures flying through the air. What was left of me broke into pieces right alongside them. One question remained as I sank to the floor.

Why is it so easy for her to leave me behind?

I was nervous and excited, but mostly nervous. Except for that brief time in court, I hadn't seen Kenzie in months. I had been writing to her like a fiend, sometimes twice a day because we never knew which one of the letters actually made it out.

Although she had yet to respond to any of my mail, I received word from one of the guards that I would be getting a visitor. These days were the absolute worst for me. It was tough to see that even the most horrendous criminals had someone who came to see them, while I had no one.

I could still remember that very first day, the anticipation of seeing Kenzie again had excitement bursting from my pores. Instead of my girl showing up, it was Axil sitting there. He didn't even need to say the words, I'd already known it was the first and last time I was going to see him.

Apparently, his reputation meant more than our friendship did.

For weeks after that, I'd waited and waited, but, no one else came to visit. I'd even had a few run-ins with the guards because I believed that they weren't sending out my letters to Kenzie.

But none of that mattered now, 'cause today I was finally going to see my girl.

"You keep on going back and forth like that, you're gonna dig us a hole outta here." My cellmate, Logan quipped from where he was perched on the top bunk. "Hey man," he said when I didn’t answer him. "She's gonna show."

If there ever was a silver lining to ending up in this hell hole, it was Logan. When I'd arrived, he was already six months into a three-year sentence. We'd become fast friends, and in a place like this, you needed all the friends you could get.

Still, I hadn't gone into detail over Kenzie, he just knew I had a girl on the outside and that it was serious for me.

The guard sauntered up to our cell, Cheshire cat grin in place. "Jackson," he called to Logan. "You have visitors." Every Saturday, without fail, his family showed up. It was the only time I envied him. Turning to me, the guard's smile turned sinister, "No one for you, yet, Carter."

My friend jumped off the bed and smacked my shoulder blade twice as he walked past me. Again, he repeated, "She's gonna show."

How wrong he'd been.

Visiting hours had come and gone and no Kenzie. My already lacerated heart took its final beating then. Reaching under my pillow, I pulled out the notepad and vowed to myself that that was the last letter I'd ever write to Kenzie Michaels.

Breathe.

I need to breathe. My head swiveled from side to side, and I swore I could see her everywhere. Standing in my doorway, wearing my shirt. Nibbling on the corner of her mouth while she pushed her hair behind her ear. Running her tongue over her lip right before she pressed her lips to mine.

"Shit!!" I cursed again.

After years and years of carefully guarding what was left of my heart, I'd dropped the ball, and it had been detrimental.

Bringing my hand up, I rubbed at my chest already knowing that nothing would soothe the ache inside. My gaze dropped to the mess surrounding me, and I caught sight of one little butterfly still intact. I reached forward to scoop it up.

Pushing to my feet, I returned it to its spot on my bookcase. Gently I brushed over its delicate blue wings, embracing the sting of betrayal and absolute devastation that I knew was coming.