CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

“You want to talk about it?”

I tore my gaze away from the flashing images on the screen to look up. My head was resting in Zoe’s lap while her fingers lazily combed through my hair. She’d suggested we veg out in front of the TV after I’d confessed that I wasn’t ready to leave just yet.

Not only did it feel wrong to leave immediately after having my fill of her, but being close to her brought on a calmness that I couldn’t find anywhere else. And when she looked at me with so much understanding shining in her eyes — like she was doing now — I wanted to hit the pause button and simply bask in the moment.

My gaze traveled from her eyes to her lips, and then to the locks tumbling over her shoulder. Reaching up, I curled a few strands around my index finger before rubbing it with my thumb. So soft, so silky. With a heavy sigh, I pushed into a seated position, Zoe’s gaze following every movement.

She waited patiently while I tried my best to gather my thoughts. As usual, I needed to touch her to ground myself. I reached for her hand and laced our fingers together; it never ceased to amaze me how perfectly they fit even though mine swallowed hers whole.

“My mom has cancer.” I couldn’t even say the damn word without a searing pain slicing through my chest. I’d tried and tried to process this, but it was proving difficult. In all honesty, I’d thought if someone was going to get sick, it would be Pops, especially with all the sneaky smoking he’d done.

Mama had always been the picture of health…until now.

“Oh, Eli…I don’t know what to say…I’m sorry.” She nibbled on her lip for a beat, “How bad is it?”

Throwing my head back, I stared at the ceiling. “The cancer is in her brain and Pops said it doesn’t look good. Everything is just so up in the air at the moment. I have a million questions, but I don’t want to overwhelm her with them.” I met Zoe’s gaze again.

Comprehension burned bright in her hazel irises and I knew that she knew Mama’s illness wasn’t the only thing weighing on me. “Have I told you about Melissa’s parents?” When she simply shook her head, I explained to her how they’d contacted me in hopes of meeting Molly, how I’d instantly shot them down and ignored them for the better part of a year.

“What if I’m doing the wrong thing by not allowing them into Molly’s life?” I finally asked.

Zoe studied me for a few moments before she answered, “The way I see it, there is no wrong or right thing here. Only what you and, more importantly, Molly feel most comfortable with. I’m not sure what exactly she knows about Melissa, but I do know that you’re raising an incredibly smart girl. She’ll tell you what she wants.”

I didn’t think it was possible that my feelings for this woman could run any deeper, she proved me wrong when she spoke about my daughter with so much adoration. Without a doubt, I knew that she was the missing piece I’d never dared to hope for and letting her go wasn’t even a possibility.

Lifting our connected hands, I pressed my lips to the back of hers. “Would it be too much to ask you to come with us if she decides she wants to meet them?”

Her eyes glistened as she shook her head. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and Molly.”

Curling my fingers around her nape, I touched my forehead to hers. “The feeling is mutual, sunshine.”

 

 

“Is it okay if Miss Zoe sits next to me, Daddy?” I was about to slip into the booth next to Molly when her question had me straightening again.

She’d surprised me when she said she very much wanted to meet Melissa’s parents. Of course, the subject of her birth mother had brought with it a ton of questions. I’d spent most of the week answering them as best I could.

I never wanted my girl to feel that she didn’t matter enough to someone for them to stick around, so I sprinkled the truth with a bit of sugar by telling her that her mom did a bad thing and had to go away.

Apparently, I’d been underestimating Molly’s level of intelligence, on the way over to pick up Zoe this morning, she’d randomly blurted out that maybe it was a good thing Melissa had to go because if she hadn’t, we wouldn’t have met Zoe.

At that moment, I realized that my baby girl had fallen for her just as hard as I had.

“Hey.” The feel of Zoe’s fingers curling around my forearm pulled me back to the present. “You all right?”

Covering her hand with mine, I softly admitted, “Just nervous.” Her answering smile had most of those nerves fizzling away. She gave me a wink, then slid in next to Molly. I’d barely taken a seat next to her when Lizzy appeared.

“Auw, don’t the three of you look adorable,” she jutted her hip out and perched her hand on it. “What can I get you?”

“Pancakes,” Molly exclaimed before I even had a chance to open my mouth. “And a milkshake.” I cast a sideways glance her way, she quickly added, “Please, Miss Lizzy.”

Zoe placed her hand on my thigh and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll have a coffee, thanks.” After I ordered the same, Lizzy sauntered off, but not before giving me an approving nod. I’d been getting a lot of those lately; I suspected that walking around with Zoe on my arm had something to do with it.

When Molly tugged on Zoe’s arm, she bent down to hear what my girl had to say. Since she was whispering, only Zoe was privy to her words, whatever they were they caused a huge smile to spread on my woman’s face.

Damn, every single time I watched them together it nearly crippled me. The more time the two of them spent together, the more Molly blossomed into this joyous little girl. Not that she hadn’t been happy, but it was as if Zoe had unlocked some girly part of her that none of us knew was there.

With a sharp shake of my head, I tried to make sense of my scrambled thoughts when a shadow fell over the table. I looked up at the same time as the man hesitantly uttered my name. There was no need for introductions; one look at the woman clinging to the man’s arm and I knew who they were.

My heart hammered against my ribs as I slid out of my seat and extended my hand. “You must be Jethro Boone.” Mr. Boone took the proffered hand; his grip was firm but gentle at the same time. His wife didn’t spare me a glance, though; her gaze was glued to Molly.

“It’s good to finally meet you,” Mr. Boone said. “This is my wife, Clara.” At the sound of her name, Mrs. Boone blinked rapidly, then slowly angled her head in my direction. The first thing I noticed was the color of her eyes — they were the exact same shade as Molly’s.

She untangled herself from her husband, instead of shaking my hand, she threw her arms around me. “Thank you so much for doing this.” Her voice was shaky and filled with so much emotion. I felt like the biggest asshole, there was no doubt that I could’ve handled the situation better.

Mr. Boone gently pulled his wife back to him, giving me an apologetic look in the process. A feeling I was very unfamiliar with settled in my bones. I had no idea what to do or say to these people. Sheer panic licked its way down my spine.

As if she’d sensed that I needed her, Zoe sidled in beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist. Just feeling her touch was enough to ground me, to calm my racing heart. “It’s lovely to meet you both.” Reaching out, she shook their hands, “I’m Zoe.” Then she glanced up at me and subtly shifted her eyes to Molly, whose blue eyes were bouncing between all four of us.

I cleared my throat. “Right…right.” Facing the Boones again, I said, “And this is Molly.” At the sound of her name, she slipped from her seat to come stand with me and Zoe.

More guilt gnawed at me when tears filled the elderly pair’s eyes. Mr. Boone was the first to move, taking my girl’s hand and giving it a generous shake. His wife stood frozen, with her trembling fingers pressed against her mouth. I could tell she was having a difficult time keeping her composure. She took a step forward. “Can I hug you?”

Molly’s eyes immediately darted to mine. In return, I gave her a slight nod hoping I’d assured her that she could do whatever she felt most comfortable with. We’d talked about the possibility of something like this happening and I’d told Molly that I’d never be angry with her if she didn’t feel comfortable doing something.

My woman’s grip on me tightened when Molly swiveled her head in Zoe’s direction, seeking approval from her too. I heard her swallow hard before her head bobbed up and down. We were well on our way to becoming a family, and damn, if that thought didn’t knock the breath from my lungs.

“Okay.” Molly’s little voice drew my attention back to the current situation just in time for me to see Mrs. Boone pull her to her chest. Her husband didn’t even bother to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he took in the sight in front of him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Lizzy, tray in hand, approaching our table. The moment she noticed the unfolding scene she stopped in her tracks, then turned and headed back the way she came. I was thankful for the moment of privacy — well, as much privacy as one could have in a packed diner.

After greetings and introductions were made, we piled into the booth. Mrs. Boone asked Molly questions about her interests and hobbies and my girl was all too happy to talk about them all. For the first few minutes, Mr. Boone and I made small talk, discussing our jobs, the weather while Zoe’s hand stayed on my thigh, giving it a squeeze now and then.

“Here you go,” Lizzy smiled sweetly as she unloaded the tray of drinks. She’d been by earlier to get the Boones’ drinks order, giving me a quizzical look in the process. I had a feeling I was going to have some explaining to do when we got together for dessert Sunday. After placing my coffee in front of me, she sauntered back to the kitchen.

“That beautiful little girl isn’t the only reason we contacted you.” Mr. Boone kept his gaze on his hand while he generously tipped sugar into his drink. I kept studying him, he traded the sugar for a spoon and after dragging it through the tarry liquid a few times, he set it on the table. His head lifted slowly until our eyes met, “We wanted to apologize to you.”

“To me?”

Tipping his head slightly, he answered, “We were oblivious to the things Melissa was doing, or maybe it was that we didn’t want to know. As parents, you believe that you’re raising your child to be the best version of themselves.” His expression looked pained. As a father myself, I felt deeply for him. He shrugged his shoulders, a defeated breath sounding through his nose. “I wish we could take back the things she’d done,” his gaze darted to Molly, “make right what she’d thrown away.” He sucked in a few breaths as he took his wife’s hand.

My head was spinning. This was not what I’d expected, but oddly enough, it felt as if it was what I needed. It had been so easy to be angry with them, I’d never stopped to think of the impact their daughter’s actions had on them, or what they’d lost because of it.

“Mistakes were made,” I agreed. “Not just by Melissa, I made a lot of my own too, but I assure you, I’ve learned from mine and I don’t plan on repeating them.” I cleared my throat, looked over at Molly before meeting Mr. Boone’s gaze again. “I’m sorry for the things you’ve missed out on.”

Unable to look me in the eyes, he turned his attention to the far end of the diner. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he worked down a swallow. When his focus returned to me, I could tell that he understood I wouldn’t keep them from spending time with their granddaughter. It was time to put the past behind us and to concentrate on the future.

The rest of the day went even better than I could have hoped. The Boones appreciated their time with Molly so much, we’d already planned for them to come back in two weeks to see her again. By the time I pulled down the covers and climbed into bed, it truly felt as if a weight had been lifted.

Lacing my fingers behind my head, I leaned back against the headboard as Zoe walked into the room. She hadn’t spent the night since that weekend when Molly had been on her school trip, and I was looking forward to having her in my arms until sunrise.

Her just-showered scent filled the room. I sucked in a deep breath, taking the smell of apples straight to my lungs. Our eyes met, she smiled sweetly while she started pulling pins from her hair. Funny how something so simple managed to keep me completely captivated.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Her eyebrow raised, along with her question.

I didn’t answer straight away, choosing to study her a while longer while her hands disappeared into her tresses to detangle them. “Thank you for being here today.”

Her smile was big and bright, lighting up every dark corner of my heart. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.” Tucking a few strands behind her ear, she padded toward me. Once I could, I reached out and tugged her onto the bed with me, immediately wrapping her up in my embrace.

“Holding you like this feels so good. I wish I could do it every night.” She remained silent, and I knew I’d said the wrong thing. I pulled back, the look in her eyes dropped lead in my stomach. “What’s wrong?”

Zoe’s gaze dropped to my chest for a few seconds, her eyes darting left then right. I held my breath when she finally looked up again. “This — you and me — is the first real relationship I’ve been in, I don’t want to mess it up by going too fast.”

I couldn’t fault her reasoning; it made perfect sense. For some reason, though, my heart didn’t care that we were going at the speed of light. It was as if now that it had found that missing piece, it wanted to make up for the years of not feeling.

She never asked for any kind of reassurance; the question was written all over her face. I brought my fingers to her cheek, trailing them along her skin. “You lead and I’ll follow, sunshine.”