Arabella closed the door behind Roxanne, locked it and headed straight for the bathroom. She needed to throw up, to get rid of the dread and fear inside her left over from the hangover and the knowledge that she’d murdered a man the previous night. A murder that she couldn’t remember taking place. There was no evidence on her, no blood spatters, no scrapes or signs of a struggle. Nothing.
Arabella turned on the cold water tap and splashed her face. She needed to wake up from this nightmare. But it wasn’t a nightmare. It was real.
As she glanced at her reflection in the bathroom cabinet, the sight of the dark circles under her eyes and pale complexion made the nausea feel even worse. She stepped back, pressed her shoulder blades against the wall behind her and felt her legs give way as she let out a cry that sounded like a wounded animal.
Just out of prison, just free. And now it looked like she would be going back there because of what she’d done. She’d read somewhere that thirty-seven per cent of offenders were likely to reoffend within the first three years of release from prison. Surely a few weeks out of prison was a record.
A memory came to her then, of that time in the school playground. She hadn’t meant to hurt the girl so badly; it was just that a red mist had descended and she couldn’t stop herself, like someone else had taken over her body. That was when she was just eight years old. The violence was in her then. It hadn’t taken much to provoke her; a few stupid comments. At least she could remember that, even though it was twenty years ago. Last night, however, was an entirely different situation. Now she was an adult, she should know better. She’d tried hard to get her life on track, to steer herself in the right direction. After going to prison, she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t let anything get in the way of her freedom again. Already she’d compromised that.
Gathering herself together, Arabella got to her feet and took a breath, glaring at herself in the mirror again. No. She wasn’t going back to prison. She trusted Roxanne with her life. She’d looked after her in prison, stayed by her side the entire ten months. They’d bonded in a way that Arabella had bonded with no other. She hadn’t had friends like Roxanne when she was in school. She was always the outcast, always the one to take the flak when a window was smashed, or someone was caught with alcohol in the common room. Roxanne wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that. Never. She’d proven that by getting rid of the evidence of Arabella’s involvement in that man’s death. She’d gone above and beyond to protect her. It was possible there would be no one else on the planet who would ever do something like that for Arabella other than Roxanne.
A key scratched on the front door of the flat and Arabella froze. Her fear quickly faded at the sound of Eddie’s voice.
‘Hi,’ he called out. His voice was groggy and Arabella looked down at the time on her watch. It was ten in the morning. How had she not noticed he’d been gone for so long?
She opened the bathroom door and looked at him. He looked like shit. The dark circles under his eyes almost matched hers. Standing just a few feet away from him, she could smell the alcohol as it wafted in her direction.
‘Where have you been?’ she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
‘Casino and then back to Jake’s flat,’ he replied, rubbing his hand over his face and stumbling a little. He steadied his stance and turned his attention back to the front door to close it.
‘You were at Roxanne’s?’ she asked. If they’d just gone back there instead of her own place, then that guy would still be alive and she’d have been with Eddie, blissfully happy and drunk. Instead, she was about to keep the biggest event of her life from the man she loved. The man who had waited for her, bought her a business and stood by her side while she served her time.
‘Aye. What happened to you and Roxanne?’ He slipped his jacket off and hung it up on the coat rack.
‘We ended up back here. You just missed her. I can’t remember much from last night actually. I was pretty wasted.’
‘You and me both,’ he replied, heading to the kitchen. He barely looked at her. He hadn’t noticed how wound up she was.
‘Good night?’ Arabella called through, taking one last look at herself in the bathroom mirror to check that she didn’t look as though she’d been crying before following him into the kitchen.
‘Er… aye, it was alright.’
She hesitated. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. I’m just rough as a badger’s arse and I need a sleep.’
He kept his back to her as he sipped some water. Did he know she was keeping something from him? Did he know she was lying?
‘Fair enough,’ she said. ‘I’ll catch up with you later then? I told Scarlett I’d pop into the salon today to check in, see if they needed anything. Although I don’t think she really needs me around to run the place. She’s got everything covered. I feel like an imposter over there, if I’m honest.’
Eddie turned, smiled and gulped down the last of the water from his glass. ‘Sorry babe, I’m too rough. I’m heading to bed. I’ll see you in a few hours, yeah?’
Feeling rejected, Arabella smiled and nodded as Eddie kissed her on the cheek as he passed by and headed for the bedroom.
She didn’t know whether to be offended that he hadn’t noticed how shaken she was as she tried to hold everything in, or relieved that he hadn’t clocked on that something was wrong.
Within seconds, Arabella could hear Eddie snoring loudly, oblivious to the world. Oblivious to her.
The only thing that Arabella could do in order to keep her mind off what had happened was to go to the salon and carry on as normal. As normal as she could, anyway, considering she’d been released from prison just a few weeks previously and had inherited a business.
But first, she had to go back. In doing so, she might be able to remember what happened. By now, the police would be there. There would be forensics, possibly press. But she had to know.
Arabella quickly dressed, pulled her hair back from her face and tied it on top of her head before grabbing her phone and heading out of the flat. Roxanne had said she wasn’t to tell Eddie about what happened. But she didn’t say that she couldn’t go back and check things out for herself. If her mind wouldn’t show her the memory, then she had to create the image from the present.
Leaving the flat, she headed along the road and turned down onto the footpath. Stopping at the top, she listened. She’d expected sirens, voices, people, traffic. If there was a drama – a murder – then normally people rallied around to catch a glimpse of the action. But there was nothing.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she opened the Google app and typed in ‘body Kelvin River’ and waited for the searches to load. Again, nothing.
Sliding the phone back into her pocket, Arabella started down the path, looking into the bushes and trees at either side. Her head thumped with each step she took, the alcohol clearly still in her system. Not surprising – she must have drunk her weight in the stuff, based on the hangover.
That was when she heard it. The cacophony of voices. A flashing blue light highlighted the end of the path and as she edged closer to the centre of the pathway, she saw a gathering of people. Police tape. Officers telling people to stand back to allow the police and forensics to do their job.
ShitShitShit. It was real. She’d killed that man.
Voices chattered excitedly and Arabella couldn’t help but overhear.
‘I heard he was walking along the path and someone pushed him down the embankment towards the river.’
‘Nah, apparently the guy who found him said his face was caved in. It’s definitely murder.’
‘Poor guy. No one deserves that.’
‘Apparently he was found a few yards from where it happened. Someone said he’d tried to crawl back to the main road for help and just died on the spot. What a way to go, eh?’
Arabella turned, clutching her throat. She couldn’t breathe as she retched over and over before finally she fell to her knees. Bile left her mouth, her body trying desperately to expel the horrific secret she was trying to keep inside.
‘Oh good god, are you alright, love?’ a woman said, her voice by Arabella’s left ear, a hand on her back.
‘I’m okay,’ Arabella shrugged her off and got to her feet before running back to the flat.
Once inside, she locked herself in the bathroom and bit hard on her bottom lip while texting Roxanne.