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Tzip could have sworn that Abigail had been about to kiss her. She puffed out a short breath. No, it was unlikely. Abigail was a proper Lady, polite and all that nonsense. She’d hardly be interested in kissing another woman. If Tzip had to guess, ladies like Abigail were so sheltered they knew nothing about sex, even with their own husbands. “Lie there and think of England” and similar bullshit like that. The chances that Abigail wanted to kiss Tzip were so slight, they might as well be the mermaids that sailors fantasised about when they’d been at sea for too long. But there was something in that glance from Abigail that had made Tzip flush at the possibility.
She marched across the deck of The Lady Gin and stood at the helm.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Tzip muttered. It’d obviously been too long since she’d had sex if one coy glance from a beautiful proper Lady-with-a-capital-letter made her pulse flutter in hope. She could ask Esteban; he’d do the job nicely and he never had expectations of more from her. Of all her port stops, he was one of her favourites for that reason. He was great in bed, and he didn’t try to cramp her life or expect her to stick around and take care of him or some masculine rubbish like that. She also had a fond spot for Mrs Dellaware in Plymouth, whose skilled tongue was much better than her famed chicken soup.
“Is there a problem?” Abigail stood in the cabin door.
“Are you certain you want to go back to England?” Tzip stumbled over herself a little as she tried to empty her brain of thoughts of kissing; a difficult prospect when Abigail looked so lovely leaning against the cabin door. Abigail grimaced a little, then almost immediately, her face lost all expression.
“Yes.”
“You don’t have to hide your thoughts from me.”
“Excuse me?”
“You grimaced at the idea of going back to England and then you acted like you felt nothing.”
Abigail nodded. A lot. “Force of habit. I’m ... No, I’m not sorry.”
“Good for you.” Tzip grinned and walked closer to Abigail. Francis and Dinesh were bustling about, helping the local wharfies load goods into the hold and she didn’t want them to hear everything she said.
“I don’t want to go back to England. Actually, I do. I don’t want to ever see Lord Coxspeckle again, but I need to talk to my brother and figure out a proper solution. He can’t just send me to Italy to live with some unknown person.”
“Apparently he thinks you will do as you are told.”
Abigail’s big brown eyes filled with tears. They shimmered and it was probably badly done of Tzip to notice that it made the gold flecks more noticeable. “I’ve always done as I was told. Tobias has no reason to think otherwise.”
“But is it what you want?”
“No. Being married without choice didn’t work out well for me. Being banished to live with a stranger in a strange country is unlikely to be any better. I’d rather...”
Tzip waited but the silence stretched out until she couldn’t wait anymore. “You’d rather what?”
“I don’t know. I have no money and no skills. I don’t know what to do.”
“There must be something. What do you care about?”
Abigail scoffed. “Aside from never seeing my husband again?”
“Yes. Aside from that.”
“I always wanted to be a mother.” Abigail’s breath hitched. “But that’s not an option for me.”
“Oh?”
“Tzipporah. I’m not so ignorant. I was married for a long time and I have no children.”
“It could be him, not you.” Tzip had always taken care not to get pregnant, using French Letters when she was with a man. It wasn’t completely foolproof; the last time she’d been with Esteban, it’d broken, but she’d taken some of Berlewen’s tea to ensure she wasn’t pregnant. Her courses were always irregular, so she wasn’t completely certain it’d worked. She shrugged.
Abigail shook her head. “It was definitely me.” She pressed her fingers to the corners of her eyes in an elegant fashion. After a moment, Abigail lifted her chin. “I know it was me for two reasons. Lord Coxspeckle has a collection of illegitimate children who live on his estate. And...” She sobbed and Tzip automatically hugged her. Abigail’s uneven breathing fluttered against Tzip’s neck.
“You don’t have to tell me.”
“I’ve been with child seven times and the longest one only lasted a few months.”
“I’m so sorry.” Tzip hugged Abigail tighter.
“I always wanted to be a mother. I was even willing to adopt one of his other children and raise it as my own.”
The sheer bravery in that statement swept over Tzip, rocking her to her core. She needed to stop underestimating Abigail. Tzip rubbed her hand up and down Abigail’s back, comforting her.
“He hit me with a horse whip when I suggested it. I couldn’t sit for a week. His heir would have aristocratic blood, those other children weren’t good enough. I think I was supposed to understand that I had value to him, or at least my blood had value.”
“I imagine that is a difficult thing to believe while someone’s actions contradict that notion.”
“Yes. Why hit me if I was valuable? But he didn’t care. I think he wanted me to die so he could marry again.”
Tzip’s hand automatically reached for her knife. “Perhaps he should be the one to die.”
Abigail blinked and her face broke out into blotches of pink. “I used to dream of ways to do that. Does that make me a bad person?”
“No. It makes you someone who wanted to escape a desperately bad situation.”
Abigail stiffened in Tzip’s hug, an impressive feat given the tension that had already been obvious in Abigail’s body. “If he ever finds me, I think he will kill me.” She shuddered. “I’ve never said that aloud before.”
“I think you are correct. Men like that don’t appreciate being defied.”
Abigail’s upper lip curled. “He won’t see it as defiance. He will be upset that I’ve embarrassed him.”
“What?”
“He prides himself on having an obedient beautiful wife who attends functions at his side. If he attends a society dinner or a dance without me, people will ask questions and he’ll be embarrassed at the idea that he doesn’t have a perfect wife at his side.”
“Oh, the poor fucking baby. I always knew there was something wrong about those Lords and their uptight adherence to rules that don’t make any fucking sense.” Tzip couldn’t help her sneer. Those same Lords and their egos had funded the ship that Tzip’s mother had been forced to board. Tzip was only here, in England, because the slave ship had broken apart in a storm and her mother had been rescued by a smuggler from Swain Cove.
Abigail’s eyes widened and a funny little noise escaped her mouth. She clapped her hand over it, but soon her shoulders were shaking and Tzip slowly pulled Abigail’s hand away from her mouth. A glorious giggle filled the air.
“I can’t believe you called him a baby.”
“Well, he is. You’ve described a grown man having a tantrum because he can’t take his wife to dinner and show off to his friends. He must get very annoyed when they all produce heirs and his wife can’t.” Tzip would bet anything that Lord Coxspeckle put all the blame onto Abigail, at least in public.
Abigail’s laugh disappeared and she whispered. “Very.”
“Oh fuck. I’m so sorry.” Tzip should learn to shut her mouth. Obviously the fucking coward hit Abigail whenever his friends teased him. If Tzip ever met him, she was going to skewer him with her knife and toss him to the sharks. Abigail rested her head on Tzip’s shoulder. It fit perfectly. Tzip kissed the top of Abigail’s head. “Too many people have been hurt by those in power.”
“Yes.”
“Stick with me, Abigail, and we’ll work out how to defeat him and keep you safe.”
“I just want to be safe.” She lifted her head; just enough for her mouth to be temptingly situated in front of Tzip’s face. Tzip couldn’t help it. She dipped her face and closed the gap between them with a gentle brush of her lips over Abigail’s slightly parted mouth. Abigail’s eyes widened but she didn’t flinch or move away. Tzip pressed her mouth a little more against Abigail’s soft lips. She tasted like toothpowder and rose hip tea, an impossibly delicious combination, and Tzip wanted more. She wanted Abigail to push her against the cabin wall, hold her throat, and explore with her fingers inside Tzip’s pants. But it was likely too soon for Tzip to beg for release like that; Abigail was only now learning who she was after spending years being abused. Tzip couldn’t expect her to be a confident lover with that background.
“You are very beautiful.” Abigail’s voice crackled a little.
“Shall we go inside the cabin for more kisses?” Tzip wanted Abigail with a sudden selfish need that trumped everything else that she had to do. The most important thing right now was to show Abigail what sex could be when it was with someone who cared. Tzip tried not to gasp; did this mean she cared? She gulped. Perhaps not about Abigail, but she definitely cared that Abigail learned how to enjoy her body for her own sake. Tzip could be magnanimous about this and teach Abigail pleasure. Caring didn’t have to come into it.
“Please.”
Tzip kept her arms around Abigail as she backed her through the cabin door. Each of Abigail’s steps were awkward and once the door shut behind them, Abigail cleared her throat.
“I—” Abigail paused.
“You don’t like to be pushed about?” Tzip guessed and Abigail’s hesitant nod was enough to confirm.
“How about you kiss me?”
“Can I do that?”
Tzip smiled. “Yes.” Good sex was a conversation, although judging by the wide-eyed expression on Abigail’s face, she wasn’t ready for that just yet. “Kiss me. You are in control here.”
“I am?”
“I would never do anything that made you uncomfortable.”
Abigail’s breath hitched and her cheeks trembled. She blinked rapidly. “Thank you.”
“I don’t know your history, but I’m guessing your husband wasn’t kind to you in bed?”
Abigail shook her head. “Is kindness an option?”
Rage made Tzip’s muscles shake. She needed to seek revenge on the man who’d hurt Abigail, but with a long, ragged breath, she forced herself to relax; an angry outburst would likely be the last thing Abigail needed to see.
“Yes.” She made herself smile, although her back teeth were still gritted together, so she probably looked a bit unhinged. “Relax. Kiss me. Have some fun. I think you deserve it.”
“I do?”
“It will be fun for me too.” Tzip winked. The pulsing rage inside her could be hidden behind a tease, because Abigail with her lovely lips and rose hip tea taste deserved to be treated well.
“In that case...” Abigail stepped closer and tilted her head upwards. She was only half a head shorter than Tzip. Tzip had always been a fan of variety; sometimes taller than her lovers, sometimes smaller. Each of them offered her something fresh and fun. She dipped her head and brushed her lips over Abigail’s mouth. Abigail reached up and cupped Tzip’s cheeks, pulling her closer and cautiously deepening the kiss. The kiss was sweet and innocent, as if Abigail hadn’t ever kissed someone before. All the surging rage dissipated at the notion that Tzip would be Abigail’s first proper lover. The first person to show Abigail the delights of her body. She was damp at the thought of it and rubbed her mons against Abigail’s thigh. Tzip let Abigail control the pace, even though Abigail barely moved, just holding her mouth against Tzip. The best sort of tension built and built until Tzip wanted to shove her tongue inside Abigail’s mouth and show her how to properly kiss someone. She made herself wait.
“That was nice.” Abigail whispered against Tzip’s cheek.
“There is more, if you want.”
“More? Could you please show me?”
Tzip nodded. “Remember, you are in control.” She waited until Abigail agreed, then dipped her head again. She kept her hands lightly on Abigail’s waist as she kissed her, this time with a bit more urgency. Tzip slid her tongue between Abigail’s lips and tasted her with a couple of short hesitant strokes, deliberately keeping her actions slow and gentle.
“Should I do that too?” Abigail’s eyes were wide as she pulled back from the kiss.
“I would like it if you did.”
Abigail nodded once, then kissed her again. Her fingers tightened on Tzip’s cheeks as she tilted her head and deepened the kiss. When her tongue tussled with Tzip’s own, Tzip felt the shiver that travelled through Abigail’s body. Tzip loved this dance between two people, and this time had a special element as Abigail explored and learned about herself with every stroke of her tongue. Soon enough, Abigail’s hands slid over Tzip’s short hair until she had one hand wrapped around the back of Tzip’s neck. Tzip forced her hands to drift slowly down over Abigail’s backside; it was an effort to move slowly, when all she wanted to do was hold Abigail tight and sink her fingers between Abigail’s thighs. But she knew Abigail needed to set the pace.
“Tell me what to do now.” Abigail panted, her breath short and frantic.
“No. You’ve had enough of that in your life. Now it’s time for you to learn how it feels to own your own body.”
Abigail flushed and Tzip couldn’t resist kissing her bright pink cheeks.
“I want that. I just don’t know how.”
Tzip gasped at the basic flaw in her plan. She’d assumed Abigail would be able to set the pace, but she was completely ignorant of how sex should work between two people who were willing.
“I’ll tell you what I want on one condition.”
“Please.”
“You have to tell me no if you don’t want to do something. This will only be fun for me if you are completely willing and having fun too.” Tzip could tell from Abigail’s expression that she didn’t really understand what Tzip meant, and it cut Tzip’s heart to see someone so unaware of how much she’d been taken advantage of in her life so far.
Abigail swallowed, her throat moving with a little tremble. “Yes. I promise.”
“Good.” Tzip had so many ideas and she took a moment to find one that balanced out her own desires without freaking Abigail out by being too much too soon. She walked over to her chair and sat down. “I want you to hitch your skirts up so that you can sit on my lap.”
Abigail held her skirts awkwardly, then perched on Tzip’s lap, facing away from her.
“No, not like that.” She gave Abigail a little push and Abigail stood up again, a deep frown on her face. “Sit on my lap, facing me with one leg either side of mine, so you can kiss me.”
Abigail didn’t move and Tzip jumped up.
“Sit down.”
Abigail sat and Tzip tried not to show her disappointment at her trained obedience. Patience. A lifetime of behaving in a certain way couldn’t be fixed in the three days since they’d met.
“Like this.” Tzip stood with her legs either side of Abigail’s knees, then lowered herself so she sat on Abigail’s thighs.
“I want you to sit on my lap like this.” Tzip pecked Abigail on her lips with a quick kiss, then jumped to her feet and waved for Abigail to get up. Once the chair was empty, Tzip sat down again and patted her thighs. Abigail slowly pulled her skirts up, just far enough for her to sit on Tzip’s thighs as demonstrated. It was the most erotic thing Tzip had seen in years; the slow reveal of Abigail’s legs as she pulled the fabric out of the way, and then the way she slowly sank down and sat on Tzip. Tzip was wet and she had to concentrate so she didn’t buck her hips against Abigail. Tzip’s stomach muscles trembled with the effort of staying still.
“And now I kiss you?”
“Yes. And when you are ready, I want you to take off my shirt and kiss my breasts.” Tzip’s core clenched as she asked for what she wanted. Abigail’s cheeks got redder and she swallowed again.
“You would like that?”
“Very much.”
Abigail leaned forward and kissed her, this time a little sloppier and more desperate than before, and Tzip adored it. She closed her eyes and moaned a little. Abigail trailed her fingers down Tzip’s throat, flooding her skin with sensation. Tzip placed her hands on Abigail’s hips and pulled her closer.
“Oh.” Abigail’s surprised gasp sent another shiver of pleasure down Tzip’s spine and when Abigail used her fingers to trace Tzip’s neck and shoulder blades, Tzip couldn’t help but wonder that Abigail might ruin her for anyone else. There was so much erotic potential in the natural way she used her fingers, seeking out Tzip’s pulse and pressing slightly harder against it. Their kiss anchored Tzip’s head in place, otherwise, she’d easily let it fall back against the wall, hoping that Abigail would kiss her throat. It wouldn’t take much, she was so easily aroused today, right on the brink of coming after the most innocent of explorations.