CHAPTER 30

July 1893
Dovie

The time for our meeting with the Grossebruderrat arrived on a sticky hot afternoon in July. I thought the weather might be an advantage. “The meetinghouse will be so warm the men won’t want to sit there very long. It will mean fewer questions, don’t you think?” I finished combing my hair and turned to look at Karlina. Her complexion had turned as pale as a summer cloud. “Are you ill?”

“Nein, but I am frightened to go before the Grossebruderrat.” Karlina arranged her black Sunday shawl over her shoulders. “Please check the point to see it is centered.”

I stepped behind her and moved the shawl an inch to the right. “There. That is better.” Leaning over Karlina’s shoulder, I kissed her cheek. “Try not to worry. I have been praying that God will open the eyes of the elders and they will make the right decision for all of us.”

Karlina turned around. “What the elders hear from God may not be the answer we want. I have been thinking of what could happen, and none of it is very gut. No matter what, there will be consequences for breaking the rules.”

“I am sorry you must bear this, Karlina. When it is my turn to speak, I am going to explain that you would never have gone to the Sedlacek farm if I had not begged you to come with me. I think I am the one who should be punished, not you.”

Directing a sad smile at me, Karlina shook her head. “It does not matter what you think or what I think, Dovie. The only thing that matters is what the elders think.”

“But they will listen to what we have to say before they make their decision. I think I will be able to influence them that you should not be punished.”

Karlina shrugged. “The truth is that I made the decision to go with you. I knew the rules, and I knew that I was breaking them. That is the issue before the elders—at least where I am concerned.” She bowed her head. “I am willing to take my punishment.”

“But you’ve already suffered through your illness. That should be enough punishment.” I picked up my bonnet and followed Karlina into the parlor. “And that’s what I’m going to tell them.”

“I became ill because I was around others who had a sickness. It wasn’t a punishment from God. It happened because of my foolish behavior.”

I frowned, disappointed that Karlina didn’t believe her illness should exclude her from further penalty. “But you still suffered, so that should be enough.”

Cousin Louise stepped into the parlor. “We will depart in a few minutes.” She turned to me. “I think it will be wise to guard your tongue when you go before the Grossebruderrat, Dovie. You should answer their questions with truth and honesty, but it would not be prudent to advise them what they should or should not do in regard to punishment.” She tied the strings of her cap beneath her chin. “Sometimes less is more.”

“What do you mean?”

“To say a few words with great meaning is better than to ramble on with nothing of value.”

I nodded. “I’ll try to remember that, Cousin Louise.”

“If you hear me cough, you will know you are saying too much. If you truly want to remain in the colonies, I do not want you to jeopardize your future. Should you appear to be a young woman who is headstrong and will not take direction, I fear the elders will consider you a poor candidate to live here.” Her lips curved in a generous smile. “Not that living with your Vater would be a terrible punishment. I would never want you or him to think such a thing.”

“I know, Cousin Louise. You don’t need to explain.” I had read to Cousin Louise the recent letter from my father. Like me, she had been surprised to hear of his future plans, but she had been quick to mention he’d had to make many changes in his life. “To live alone after all the years he had with your Mutter and you would be very difficult.” She’d smiled and quickly added, “I do not think he would choose a woman who would not be kind and loving to you.”

I thought Cousin Louise had correctly assessed my father’s situation. My feelings had softened toward my father’s plans for a future with Ardella, but I still didn’t want to leave the colonies. Today I would need to choose my words carefully and pray God would give the elders a clear directive to absolve Karlina and to let me remain here and marry Berndt. After Cousin Louise’s warning, I doubted that all of my prayers would be answered in the affirmative.

“Where is Anton?” Cousin Louise folded her arms and tapped her foot.

“He has already gone downstairs, Mutter. He said he would wait for us outside.”

The sound of Cousin George’s heavy footsteps in the hallway brought all three of us to attention. “We do not want to be late. Let us go.”

The four of us descended the stairs into the dining room. The women preparing the midafternoon coffee and cake busied themselves as we paraded through the kitchen. All except Sister Bertha, who hurried to Cousin Louise’s side. “No need to worry about the Küche, Sister Louise. I will be pleased to oversee supper preparations.”

Cousin Louise clamped her lips into a tight smile. “I knew you would offer, Sister Bertha, but there is little oversight needed. The other sisters know their duties and complete them without direction.” She spoke loud enough for the other sisters to hear. They nodded and smiled a silent thank-you. The comment from Cousin Louise would prevent Sister Bertha from taking command during our absence.

Anton stood on the wooden sidewalk, pressing the brim of his dark felt hat between his fingers. The five of us hadn’t gone far when Berndt joined us. Several weeks ago he had sent a letter and asked to meet with the Grossebruderrat while they were in East. His letter hadn’t contained the reason for his request, but I knew he planned to ask permission to marry me. After the elders had heard all of the rules I had broken, I wasn’t sure this was the best time for his request, but he said it must be today, since we didn’t know what decision they might make regarding my future.

He smiled as he joined us. “It has been some time since I have seen so many gloomy faces.”

The sadness in Cousin Louise’s eyes deepened. “To go before the Grossebruderrat when the Bruderrat of your village has been unable to arrive at a decision is not something that creates great happiness.”

Cousin George motioned for us to wait before entering the meetinghouse. “Before we go in, I want to pray that God will give the Grossebruderrat wisdom as they make their decisions.” After he’d led us in prayer, he held up his finger. “One moment. The elder in charge of the meeting is Brother Michael Weizmann. He will ask most of the questions. When you speak to him, you should not address him as Brother Michael but as Brother Weizmann.” He glanced at me. “As a sign of respect for his position.”

The others likely knew the proper way to address the leader, but I was thankful for Brother George’s words of advice.

Berndt looked in the opposite direction. “We better go or we’ll be late. That would not be a gut way to begin.”

Cousin George agreed. The three men turned and trod toward one end of the meetinghouse while Karlina, Cousin Louise, and I walked to the women’s door at the opposite end. Just like at morning worship, the elders sat behind a long table. Although Cousin George was a member of the Grossebruderrat, his position in the group had been temporarily assigned to Brother Samuel, another member of the Bruderrat in East. Karlina had explained that her father didn’t wish to sit in judgment when members of his family were involved. While I admired his integrity, I would have preferred to have Cousin George’s vote.

My hands perspired as I took my seat beside Karlina. There were more than twenty members of the Grossebruderrat, and the only one I recognized was Brother Samuel. The rest were representatives from the other villages. I wondered if Anton knew the representatives from High—surely he did. I hoped they would look favorably on his request to marry Karlina. Then again, if they’d been the ones who had sent him to East, they might think such a decision premature. Would they expect to see further evidence that he’d learned to control his temper before they would consider his request?

I peeked across the aisle toward Berndt. Shoulders squared, he maintained a steady gaze on the group of elders. His air of confidence surprised me, but it helped to lessen my anxiety. I took a slow, deep breath and silently prayed that God would be with me when it was my turn to speak.

After folding my hands in my lap, I stared at a spot on the floor. I didn’t have enough courage to look at the elders. The Grossebruderrat traveled from village to village one time each month, and although no one wanted to have a grievance brought before them, it was considered a privilege to have the elders eat at one’s Küche. Rather than partake of the meal at our kitchen house, they had decided to take their evening meal at the Fuchs’ Küche. I was certain Sister Martha had been delighted by the selection. And while Cousin Louise hadn’t exhibited disappointment, I wondered if she felt slighted. I hoped their decision to eat at another kitchen didn’t mean anything other than they wanted to be fair in all matters. They had, after all, eaten in Cousin Louise’s Küche the last time they’d been in East.

Brother Weizmann sat in the center of the group and glanced at a sheet of paper before he looked toward the men’s side of the room. “Today we are seeing many of the same names before us. We have been in High, where we heard from Sister Violet Nagel and Brother Frank Nagel.” He turned a keen eye toward Anton. “Your name was involved in that conversation, Brother Anton.” Then he looked at Sister Karlina. “And your name as well, Sister Karlina.” He cleared his throat. “Even though the elders sent you to East, it appears trouble has followed you, Brother Anton.”

I expected Anton to jump up and defend himself, but he remained silent.

The elder turned to our side of the room and shook his head. “And we have young sisters who have decided to visit the home of outsiders.” He tapped his finger on the piece of paper. “Not once, but several times, I believe.” Heaving a sigh, he leaned back in his chair.

Blistering sunlight rippled across the glass windowpanes and heated the room to an insufferable temperature. Not a hint of a breeze drifted through the open windows to cool the room. Two of the elders used their large white handkerchiefs to mop perspiration from their foreheads while another fanned himself with a sheet of paper.

“Brother George, is there anything you would like to say before we begin?”

He stood. “Ja. There is mention of trouble following Brother Anton. I would like to point out that you have correctly stated what happened. He was not the cause of any trouble, but trouble pursued him in the form of Sister Violet. He was abiding by my instructions on that day—both out in the pasture and when he returned to the barn. Anton did not know Sister Violet was in the barn. I was the one who spoke to Dr. Nagel and gave permission for Sister Violet to wait while her father went to talk to Dr. Zimmer in Main Amana.” Cousin George glanced down at Anton. “I had no idea Dr. Nagel would be gone for so long, or I would not have—”

Brother Weizmann held up his hand. “We know that Brother Anton was not at fault in this matter, Brother George. Sister Violet’s Vater spoke in support of Brother Anton and his behavior, and when we came to a decision that both Sister Violet and her older brother, Frank, could not attend any church or prayer meetings for six weeks, Dr. Nagel asked that Sister Violet receive additional punishment.”

I let my eyes stray toward Karlina. She did her best to hide it, but I saw a slight smile tug at the corner of her lips.

Brother Weizmann leaned forward and looked down the table at his fellow elders. “We decided Dr. Nagel knew his daughter best, so we obliged his request. Sister Violet has been assigned to work in the garden for the remainder of the summer. From her reaction, I do not believe she was particularly pleased with our decision.”

Cousin George nodded. “Then I have nothing further to say except that Brother Anton has proved to be a gut worker and has become a gut shepherd to our sheep. He has learned that much more can be accomplished with a soft voice and calm spirit than with anger and raised fists.”

The row of elders murmured their approval. I hoped Cousin George’s compliments would be remembered when Anton asked for permission to marry Karlina. It suddenly seemed strange to me that the elders could now find more reason to deny the request due to Karlina’s behavior than Anton’s temper. And all because of me!

The senior elder turned a steely gaze in my direction. “Now I would like to learn more about these visits to the farm belonging to—” he hesitated and looked down at his notes—“to the Sedlacek family.”

I didn’t know if I should stand, but since Cousin George had done so, I followed his example. Fear assailed me. My legs threatened to buckle, and I grabbed the back of the wooden pew for support. “Thank you for giving me permission to speak.”

One of the elders cupped a hand behind his ear. “Talk louder!”

His shouted command echoed off the walls like a shotgun blast. My lips trembled. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d been so overcome. Standing before the Lord on Judgment Day would likely be thousands of times worse than this, but at the moment I couldn’t imagine how anything could be more frightening.

In my loudest voice, I once again thanked the elders. The hard-of-hearing elder nodded his approval. I hoped that I wouldn’t lose my voice before I finished, but I wanted to clearly detail what had happened so they would understand that Karlina hadn’t initiated any of the visits. Three of the elders interrupted to ask questions, but mostly they remained silent and listened. At least most of them listened. From time to time, one of the older members nodded off until his chin dropped against his chest and jerked him awake. He would glance around, snort, and be back asleep a few minutes later.

When I’d finally explained everything to my own satisfaction, I added one final comment. “I hope that the Grossebruderrat will consider holding me alone responsible for the visits to the Sedlacek farm. Sister Karlina would not have given in to my requests if I had not placed undue pressure upon her by quoting Scriptures that command us to love our neighbors.”

One of the elders near the end of the table shook his head. “Your neighbors live within the colonies, Sister Dovie.”

The old elder who had fallen asleep through most of my recitation frowned and pursed his lips. “But we must remember the Gut Samaritan. Our Lord wants us to show compassion for those who do not believe the same as we do. We must show His love to others. I think that is what Sister Dovie and Sister Karlina were doing. They were instruments of God’s love to a family in need.”

More murmurs followed before Brother Weizmann waved the group to silence. “Sister Karlina, do you wish to add anything?” Once again, he wiped the perspiration from his brow. “If so, please do not repeat what Sister Dovie has already told us. The room is very warm, and we hope to finish within the hour.”

Karlina shook her head. Remaining silent was probably the best choice, given Brother Weizmann’s latest comment.

Tapping the page, Brother Weizmann sighed. “It appears both of the young men have petitioned the Grossebruderrat for permission to marry. Usually this would not take long, but since the two of you have asked to marry the two sisters who have strayed, we will need time to discuss this.” He looked at me. “As well as the punishment we decide should be meted out. You may all wait outside. We’ll advise you when we have a decision.”

The six of us gathered beneath the branches of a large red oak. A warm breeze whipped at my hem, and I turned to catch the next puff of air that might move in our direction. Although Berndt continued to offer an optimistic view while we waited, the rest of us didn’t express any opinion. I had no idea what the elders would decide, but I was thankful the old bald elder had mentioned the story of the Good Samaritan.

Not more than twenty minutes had passed before Brother Weizmann waved for us to return inside. We parted and entered our respective doors and then took our places on the hard pews. I folded my hands together and clenched them so tight, my fingers turned odd shades of red and white.

“We have come to our decisions. First, you should know that we do not condone leaving the boundaries of the colonies. In the future you should not do so.” He stared directly at Karlina, and my stomach lurched. Next, was he going to tell me I must leave the colonies? “We are thankful that the Sedlacek family has returned to health and that your health has been restored, Sister Karlina.”

I held my breath until I thought my lungs would burst. Earlier he had been in such a hurry, yet he now pondered every word before he spoke.

“We will grant permission to Brother Anton and Sister Karlina to marry in one year’s time.” Again he looked at Karlina. “Tell me, Sister Karlina, would you be willing to spend your year of separation working at a Küche in Middle?”

Karlina gasped and I reached for her hand. Did she love Anton enough to leave her home and working with the sheep? “I . . . I . . .”

Brother Weizmann turned toward Anton. “Since you are still learning your duties as a shepherd and because living in this village will benefit Brother George, we thought you should remain in East, Brother Anton.”

He turned back to Karlina. “What say you, Sister Karlina? Do you wish to marry this man enough to leave your family for a year?”

“Ja.” Karlina’s response was no more than a whisper. My eyes filled with tears thinking about her working in a kitchen rather than spending most of her days with her beloved lambs.

“Gut.” Brother Weizmann nodded. “And we have also decided that Sister Karlina should return to children’s church for the next two weeks.”

The demotion to children’s church was a punishment that was more easily accepted. Although the rest of the village would know she’d been chastised, it would be nothing compared to the pain she would bear living away from East for a year. I tried to sneak a look at Anton, but I couldn’t see his face. Surely he must know how much she loved him if she would agree to such a thing.

Brother Weizmann turned his attention to Berndt. “Brother Berndt, we will agree that you can marry Sister Dovie, but we have decided upon a stipulation. If either of you refuse the requirement, we will withdraw permission to marry.”

I inhaled a ragged breath and clenched my hands so tight they lost all feeling. Brother Weizmann cleared his throat and looked at me. “We have decided Sister Dovie should leave the colonies and return to her family. If she desires to return one year from now, we will not object to her joining our faith or to the marriage.” He tugged on his collar. “Let us see if your love will withstand the test of time and separation—and if the colonies are truly the place where Sister Dovie wants to live the remainder of her life.”

The air whooshed from my lungs, and I thought I might faint. I would have to leave. What would I do without the direction of Cousin Louise and Cousin George? What would I do without Karlina? And how could I possibly leave Berndt, the man I loved?

Giving no thought to propriety, I stood. “How soon must I go?” My voice quaked, and a tear slipped down my cheek as I awaited the elder’s answer.

“As soon as Brother George and Sister Louise can make proper arrangements, but do not try our patience by prolonging your time in East.” He straightened his shoulders. “You must remember that the quicker you depart, the sooner you may return—if that is your ultimate choice.”

None of the others said a word. I dropped back onto the bench. It seemed as though time stood still as we awaited permission to leave the room.

Instead of telling us we should leave, Brother Weizmann folded the sheet of paper and once again looked at Karlina. “Sister Karlina, we have tested you to see how you would answer regarding a move to another village. And while we prefer the year of separation for couples who ask to marry, we also know that your father depends upon you for recordkeeping in the sheep barn. Because you agreed to our condition and did not argue, we will permit you to remain at home.”

Karlina clasped her hand to her bodice. “Danke, Brothers. I am grateful.”

Brother Weizmann motioned to Anton. “I will make arrangements for you to live with another family. The two of you must have some separation during your year of waiting. I will speak to Sister Fuch when we are there for our evening meal. I believe she has a spare room.”

He pushed up from his chair. “We are dismissed.” The elders filed out of the room, with Anton, Berndt, and Cousin George following behind them. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I trailed behind Karlina and Cousin Louise.

“You should not cry, Dovie. The elders are wise in their ways, and this will be a gut test for you and Berndt. If your love is true, it will last.” She drew me close and wrapped me in her arms. “You need to have time with your Vater and his lady friend. This will be a gut thing—you will see.” She tipped her head back and looked into my eyes. “Trust God, Dovie. This is only a small interruption in your life. If this is what He wants for your future, it will happen.”

I wanted to agree. In my head, I knew she was right. In my heart, I remained unconvinced.