Just kidding. The cab driver was built like a wrestler but she was nice. That cab ride was a major breakthrough for me. Making a scene is easy. But getting into the cab and riding away—that took everything I had.
Naturally, I regretted doing it, about ten minutes afterward. A voice inside me kept nudging me: make her tum around, make her tum around. But I said no, I can't tum around any more.
So I sat back and my chest filled up, and my throat burned. I'd cried so much that I couldn't even touch my cheeks. I thought about everyone at the Prom, and how they'd go to the city later and tell dirty jokes and talk to bag ladies, being kids for the last time.
Without me.
That rotten vision lasted all the way onto the Long Island Expressway. But somewhere around Exit 53, a little sense broke through. Fact was, we'd screwed up the chance to be kids for the last time. And when I understood that, I got pissed off. I watched the flat Long Island landscape flow past, and I decided I didn't want to go home yet. First of all, I didn't want to explain to Dad or Corey why I was home early. Second of all, I was knotted up with anger.
So I said, "I want to go to Diamond Point Beach."
The driver gave me a look through the rear view mirror. "By yourself?"
"Yes."
"That's not too bright."
"I'll be okay."
"Why don't I believe you?"
I managed a grotesque smile. "Don't worry. I'm not going to drown myself or anything."
She sighed and shook her head. "I have a daughter about your age. Never tells me anything. Just wants me to leave her alone. 'Don't lecture me, Ma,' she says. 'I gotta learn on my own.' Yeah, so who's gonna keep her from killing herself?"
She shifted her bulk as she headed down Crossland Avenue. The car dealerships and plumbing supply houses were all dark now, and the road reflected the green and red of traffic lights.
The driver yakked about her daughter for the rest of the ride. Finally, the cab rattled down Diamond Point Road, past old private houses. We were surrounded by tall beach grass. I saw the moon split by braided clouds.
The cab squealed to a stop and the driver said, "I'll wait here for you."
"I can't pay you for all that time."
"Don't worry about it. Go have your cry."
"Thanks," I said. I got out of the cab and started walking. My nostrils filled with the pungent smell of salt, dead fish, and dog poop. I know that doesn't sound appetizing, but that's the smell of the beach, and I love it.
Since I didn't have shoes on, it was no problem hiking across the hard, cool sand. It did hurt when I walked on coarse grass or stepped on broken shells. (I hope they were shells!) Moonlight flooded the black ocean, making silver fire. I listened to the waves and felt the wet wind against my face.
I stood on the shore for maybe an hour and I got lost in a romantic dream. I envisioned a galleon in full sail, and a boat making its way to the shore. My pirate captain stood in the prow as his trusty mates rowed. I locked eyes with him, and my bosom heaved. (Hey, it was my fantasy, okay?) He leaped from the boat and ran to meet me. I ran, too, my dress billowing. He swept me up and whirled me around and our lips met in a kiss of burning passion. I gazed rapturously into his eyes and I whispered, "Oh, Maxim! I thought I'd never see you again!"
He grinned through his raven beard and he said, "KIMBER! Are you out of your GOURD??"
Wait a minute. That's not right.
I blinked a few times and turned around, dizzy from the mirage. And nearly knocked over Jason.
Jason!
He was still in his tux, but his hair was blowing all over the place. "I don't believe you did this," he said. "We thought you were dead."
For a minute, I couldn't collect my thoughts. I wasn't sure if I was happy to see Jason or not. Then my heart decided I was very happy. I threw my arms around him and started crying again. He held onto me ferociously, not as exciting as Maxim, but very reassuring.
Finally, I stepped out of his embrace. We held hands and I kind of looked away, embarrassed. "This is pretty freaky," he said.
I laughed. "How did you find me?"
"Hot tip," he said. "Everything went bananas at the Prom, but I'll tell you about that later . . . "
"What?" I said. "Tell me now!"
"No," he insisted. "I've got to keep this in order. Everything went bananas, and that's when we realized you weren't around. We had every teacher and administrator searching for you."
"Yikes," I said softly. "I'm going to be in major trouble, huh?"
"Well, they ain't going to give you a plaque at graduation." He pushed back his hair and went on. "Anyway, Sachs finally found one of the parking attendants . . . "
"Right, he called a cab for me."
Jason gave me a disdainful look. "Yes, we know that now, Kimber. So Sachs called the cab company and they checked on all their drivers and found the one who took you, and she told them you were here, and we came after you."
"Who else is here?"
"Everyone's here. Deena and Martha and me . . . "
"Wait wait wait," I said. "Deena and Phil and Martha and Rob and Lou and I came in one limo, and you and Stacey and those other guys went in a different limo. How many limos are here?"
"Just one," Jason said. "We changed the passenger manifest."
"Huh?"
Jason said, "Come on."
He grabbed my hand and led me back. I felt giddy and terrified all at once. As we clambered over a dune, I saw the limo, parked next to the cab.
I saw a few people by the limo. First I saw the driver, who was smoking a cigarette. Then I saw Martha!
And I yelled "MARTHA!"
And I ran to Martha.
I'm amazed that I didn't finish that night covered with bruises. I nearly knocked Martha flat, which isn't easy for a pipsqueak like me! When we finished hugging I started babbling. "I told Sachs to believe you, and I told Lou to tell the truth, I swear it, Martha, I really tried . . . " and on and on. And Martha babbled back, saying, "I know, I know, shut up and let me tell you, I know, shut up, I know ... " etc., etc.
Finally, Martha clamped a hand over my mouth.
"You're a fool," Martha said. "You made everything happen and then you ran out."
"I made what happen?" I said.
"Where do we start?" Martha said. Then, mischievously, she added, "Maybe they should tell you. They were totally obnoxious all the way out here."
"Who?" I said stupidly. Then I followed Martha's eyes to the back of the limo. The door was open and there, arms folded, like two indicted gang bosses, sat Deena and Lou! On seeing Lou, my pulse fluttered. Instantly, I wanted to take back everything I said, drop to my knees and apologize. Amazing how it stays with you.
But—applause, please—I did not grovel. I looked at Martha and said, "Okay, now I'm really upset that I left. Could someone fill me in?"
At that point, I learned about everything that had gone on. It was all mixed up together, the story about Deena and Phil and Brett and Jason, the story about me and Lou, and all the rest. Since you already know parts of it, I'll just update you on the parts you don't know. And I'll leave out all the back and forth conversation. But try to imagine the bizarre scene during all of this: the limo parked on the sand, the moon-flooded sky above, and a bunch of frazzled teenagers in gowns and tuxedos. It was like one of those weird commercials for perfume.
Okay, here's the updates, told by the same people who told me:
DEENA AND PHIL, TOLD BY JASON
I lasted about ten minutes with Stacey and the prime rib, and then I went off to see where Deena went. Deena and Phil were both by the pay telephone near the coat room. He was on the phone, and she was hanging on him, crying. The coat room attendants were enjoying the show. I bravely hid between a potted plant and a grand piano.
Finally, Phil hung up and Deena renewed her entreaties. I mean, she was begging. Phil shook her loose and she went after him. He turned on her and said, "You don't know what love is, Deena. It's a kid's game for you. When you grow up, come see me."
He stopped her cold with that. He did a little pivot on his heel and stalked away. Deena stood there, crumbling. I waited until Phil was out the door and then I sprang from my hiding place. Well, I didn't exactly spring; I sort of pushed the fronds out of my face.
I went over to Deena and said, "I'm sorry. Want to talk?"
She just stared after Phil. "No. I don't want to talk."
"You want some food?" I asked. "A brownie?"
"No!" she snapped. Then she sighed and said, "I know you're being nice, Jason. But it's not good enough. I love him, and he's gone. I don't know what to do."
This was not humorous. Deena had grown up, but the adult Deena had been screwed by the ditzy kid. I knew brownies and hugs wouldn't cut it anymore.
So I said, "Okay. But you can come to my table and sit down."
She stood there for a few minutes, heaving these big, deep sighs. Then she said, "Thanks, Jay. I appreciate it."
So we went back to my table and I sat with her. Stacey was gone. Later, I found out she met a guy who was there with his cousin. I stayed with Deena, and we even danced a little, but her heart and my lust weren't in it. So when Martha came running over and said you'd taken a cab to the beach, I was ready to go, and Deena had nowhere else to go.
MARTHA AND ROB, TOLD BY MARTHA
Well, there we were, Rob and I, making out like gangbusters in the back of the limo, drunk as skunks. I mean, the windows were steamed. I figured this was my Prom night, so make the most of it.
And then this rapping comes on the window: rat-a-tat-tat. We both jump up, and my heart is thumping. I'm a total wreck, my hair down and my lipstick all over my face. Rob has this idiotic grin on his face and his lips are still moving!!
"What the hell is that?" I whisper.
"I don't know."
Then it comes again: rat-a-tat-tat. And I realize: "Holy cow! Someone' s knocking on the window!"
Rob goes the color of Elmer's glue and starts fumbling with buttons. I fluff my hair and yank at my dress. And in a moment of divine inspiration, I yell, "Who is it?"
"This is Mr. Sachs."
This is Mr. Sachs.
I had the euphoric feeling people who have had death experiences describe. You know, when you float above your body and move toward a peaceful white light? "It's Sachs!" I whispered.
"What's he doing here?"
"Checking limos for people like us."
"What do we do?"
"We have to open the door."
"We're dead."
Actually, we weren't really that panicky because we were still juiced. I wiped my mouth and, sitting up as straight and prim as I could with no brain activity, I pushed open the limo door.
Mr. Sachs stood there, with this blank expression on his face. "Sorry to disturb you," he said, "but we were looking for you and the driver said you were in the car."
"Well," I said, "you didn't let me in the building."
I don't know why I got so brazen, but at moments like those, you either act brazen or you freeze. Sachs gave this creepy quarter-smile and said, "Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
I said, "Huh?"
"I just had an interesting discussion with Lou Ross. He backed up your story about the Senior Weekend."
I felt like I'd just reached the top of a roller coaster and started down. "What?"
"He told me he'd seen you by the ice machine and failed to get you back to your room. He confirmed that it was about two in the morning. I asked him why he was at the ice machine that long after lights out and he said he got up with a sore throat and needed ice water." Sachs gave another quarter-smile. "Needless to say, I'll be looking into that story. But since you apparently did not commit the act for which we denied you the Prom, you can go inside for the rest of the evening."
I stared at him. Part of me wanted to kiss him, and part of me wanted to beat him to a pulp. The creep didn't even apologize!
But we were in a pretty happy mood, Rob and I, and since we were in no position to be defiant, we said, "YEAH!" and high-fived and low-fived and said, "THANK YOU, MR. SACHS!" and scrambled out of the limo.
We scuffled across the parking lot, trying real hard to look steady. My head spun. We went inside and I said to Rob, "I have to use the bathroom."
I squeezed his hand once and lurched across the lobby. I just made it to the lady's room, but not quite to the bowl. I left a pretty gross mess in there. After I cleaned up, I was starving. I found Rob and we went to our table, and of course nobody was there!
I figured everyone would show up soon, and meanwhile I'd enjoy as much of the Prom as I could. We got hold of a waitress and asked for some food and we got up and danced. In the middle of the dance floor, Mrs. Vecchio came up to us and said, "You're Kimber Delaney's friend, right?"
"Yes," I said. "What happened?"
"I'm not sure," Mrs. Vecchio said. "I think she left." Well, that wrapped it up for the Prom. I left Rob and went to find out about you. Then I got Jason, who dragged Deena along. On the way out, we checked in with Sachs and some A.P. 's. Sachs suggested we take Lou along, since the way it looked, he was the one who should be barred from the Prom. Lou didn't argue. He looked like he'd swallowed a toad.
I went to get Rob, and found him at a table with his buddies. I took him aside and hugged him and said that I thought he was an incredible guy and I didn't think he should miss any more of his Prom because of me and that I wouldn't mind if he called me after this weekend. He looked totally relieved and gave me a sweet kiss, and I was gone.
And here we are. And if you weren't such a jerk, we'd still be dancing our little tootsies off.
So finally, we got all our stories told, and there we stood, on the deserted beach, with our limo. We were kind of quiet for a long time, and then I said, "I'm sorry for running out. But when I thought Lou wasn't going to do anything, it just tore it."
Jason threw his arm around me. "No problem. None of us had much to do there anyway."
"Speak for yourself," Martha said. "I'd just gotten in!"
I felt my eyes fill again. "I feel like a turd, Martha. I wanted to do something great for you and you had five lousy minutes."
She made a face at me. "They were five great minutes, Bubba. It was getting in that mattered. Anyway, if I didn't get turned away, I'd never know that Rob is super and the Lou possesses a shred of human decency and that I love you more than I love my life."
That did it. An encore hug-and-cry.
When we finished, I said, "Hold on." I went to the cab and leaned over and said, "They're my friends."
The driver smiled. "Okay. Be careful, all right?"
She gave me a price that had to be lower than the real fare, but I gave her a nice tip. She waved, and started to sing along with the radio. I watched the cab trundle down Diamond Point Road until the taillights disappeared.
I walked back to the limo. My feet were killing me by now. Jason was holding up my shoes. "Here, Cinderella," he said. "I was hoping you'd leave a trail of underwear."
"Jerk," I said. I grabbed the shoes, but didn't put them on. No way would my swollen feet make it.
I limped to the limo and bent over. "Lou, "I said. "Thanks."
He glared at me.
"Oh, give it up," I said. "So you performed one adult action in your life. You think they're going to keep you out of graduation? It's all going under the rug, and you know it. So lighten up."
His face kind of moved around, trying to decide on an expression. But he unfolded his arms. "I did it for you," he said. "I wanted to prove myself to you."
"Get a real life," I said. "You knew you'd lost all your harem girls. So you grew up. Now you can return to Never Never Land."
I straightened up. The wind smelled like morning. Martha said, "So what do we do now?" Jason came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. I leaned back against him. He said, "We ride into the sunrise and Kimber slowly falls in love with me."
I smiled. "No way, José."
"Why not?" he said. "You're not going back to Lou again?"
"No," I said. "I'm not going back to Lou. And I'm not going to you."
"Who are you going to?" Martha asked.
"Nobody," I said. I extricated myself from Jason's grip and stood up straight. I pushed blowing hair out of my eyes. "Look at us, Martha. We're the walking wounded."
Martha laughed. "Yeah, well that's life."
"Bull! It's Prom Night, Martha, and we blew it. I spent a whole year chained to Lou because I was supposed to be in love. You almost destroyed yourself and Rob because you had to have a boyfriend. Jason sits alone because he's not a hunk. And Deena lost the first guy she really loved because of our stupid-ass rules.
"I mean, it's so dumb. Martha, look: Prom's over. It's goodbye to youth. I have to work to pay my bills. You have to de-tox and Jason has to stop chasing bimbettes with brownies."
Martha said, "What a bummer."
"Tell me about it. And we wasted all the time we had for fun, and flirting, and being kids. Man, you know the only one of us who made sense? Deena."
"Nice head!" Martha commented.
"I'm serious. That's the way it should be. One date after another. Play around. Play with love. What the heck are we doing with commitments? What happened to the fairy tales, guys? Now we have to say good-bye to that and we never even had it."
I shook my head. My bones ached and I was getting a great chest cold. "Well," Martha said. "I guess we go home."
"GO HOME?" Jason yelled. "Are you deranged? Why, yes!" And he sang, loudly, "Let's go HOME, HOME, I'm DERANGED ... "
"All right! " I yelled.
He spread out his arms. "I am not ready to pack it in, wenches. We're young, we're lusty, we have a limo for eight more hours! Let's not tum into pumpkins yet."
I said, "You're right, Jay! Let's hit the Big Apple!"
"I don't want to attack fruit."
We laughed. Even Lou and Deena smiled. "Where are we headed?" I asked.
Martha said, "How about a shower? I smell like a dead horse."
"Okay, group showers," Jason said. "And then body painting."
I hugged him. "See the car?" I growled. "Get in the car!"
The horizon glowed blue as we shut the limo doors. I sat in between Lou and Jason, and in a silly gesture, I threw an arm around each of them. "Gentlemen," I said. "You can have my body, but nobody gets my heart!"
Lou made a sour face, Martha guffawed and Deena looked at the floor. The limo pulled away and I leaned back. Goodnight, Cinderella, I said to myself. Good morning, Life.
Uh ... I think that's the end, isn't it?
"What? Oh. Yes, Yes, I guess so."
What's wrong? Are you still ticked off about us taking over the story?
"No. I'm not ticked off at all, Kimber. It was your story; it was the way it should be."
So how come you're so down?
"Not important."
Oh, I bet I know. You like us now. You don't want to say goodbye.
"Perceptive to the end."
Don't be sad. We like you, too. But we're kind of pooped out from reliving this, and we've got to move on. So do you. Other stories, other characters, you know?
"I know. I'll miss you. A lot."
Us, too. Love ya, Babe.
"Take care ... oops, they're really gone. And I can't hang around by myself. So:"
Kimber Delaney and her friends rode away from the beach in their magical black coach. They spent a wild weekend exploring Greenwich Village, playing at Great Adventure, and talking for hours in each other's houses. At the end of the weekend, everybody kissed everyone else good-bye.
And they all graduated and in time they all fell in love (nobody you know) and although nobody lives happily ever after, they all had very interesting lives.
But that's another story. And it's time for all of you to be in bed.