CHAPTER 8
DOUBT

On Monday, Kadijah sat in math class. But math was the furthest thing from her mind. All she could think about was the wipeout that apparently she had caused.

“Kadijah? Kadijah Carrie?” the math teacher said. “Are you paying attention? What’s the answer to number twelve?”

“Sorry, Mrs. Ramsey,” Kadijah said, snapping out of her trance. She fumbled through her paper for the answer. “The answer is fifty-five, remainder two.”

The teacher nodded, and Kadijah returned to her thoughts. She couldn’t stop replaying the image of everyone, including herself, falling and crashing, ending her first race without even crossing the finish line.

At lunch, Kadijah, Zoey, and Damon sat together, as usual. But Kadijah was quiet as she poked at her cooked carrots.

“Hey KC, you’re not eating your lunch at all,” Zoey said.

Kadijah gently pushed her lunch tray toward her friends. “You can have it, guys. I’m not very hungry today.”

“We don’t want your food, KC. We’re just really worried about you,” Zoey said.

A boy named Zeke walked by their table with his phone blaring. “Hey guys, KC is all over ZooTube! Somebody posted her wreck at the race! Come look!”

Kadijah cowered over her tray and covered her head in shame.

“Come on, she doesn’t want to see that! That’s just mean! Turn it off!” snapped Damon.

“Hey, chill!” Zeke replied.

“Zeke, if that was you, I’m sure you wouldn’t like people shoving a video in your face about it,” Zoey said.

“Okay, okay. That was not cool of me. Sorry, KC,” Zeke said, and held up his hands in apology.

Kadijah kept her head hidden. “It’s okay,” she mumbled.

Zeke gave a small shrug and walked away.

“Thanks for looking out for me, guys,” Kadijah said as she lifted her head from the table.

“We’re your friends. We’ve always got your back,” Damon said.

“And if you want to talk about the race, or if you don’t, we’re here for you,” Zoey chimed in. “We care about you, KC.”

Kadijah tried to smile. “That means a lot. It’s just that I got so cocky, and it cost me the race. And I made all those other girls mad at me. Everyone saw it. Now it’s on the internet too!”

“Well, next weekend you can get back out there and have a do-over,” Damon said.

“I’m not so sure,” Kadijah replied.

Zoey was confused. “What do you mean?”

Kadijah got up from the lunch table. “Guys, I don’t feel so good. I’m going to the nurse. I’ll see you later.”


The following day, Kadijah lay in her room with a thermometer in her mouth. Moments later, her mom entered to check her temperature.

“You’ve been in bed since yesterday, but you don’t have a fever or any other symptoms. You can’t miss another day of class if you’re not sick. And you missed practice with Trini yesterday,” said Mom.

Kadijah let out a long sigh.

“Is this still about the race?” Mom asked. “Honey, it’s going to be okay. We’re proud of you. You shouldn’t feel ashamed,” Mom said.

Kadijah nodded as her phone buzzed. It was another text message from her friends. She’d been leaving them unread since coming home from school yesterday.

“Don’t you want to talk to your friends? I bet they’re really worried about you,” said Mom.

Kadijah lifted her phone then quickly put it back down. “I can’t. I’m just so embarrassed.”

“Honey, everyone makes mistakes. It’s not the end of the world. We learn from our mistakes so we can move forward, and this weekend you’ll be able to move forward when you race again,” Mom said.

“I don’t know if I want to race again, Mom. I’m so scared to fail,” Kadijah said.

“You can’t stay in your room forever,” Mom replied. “We love you and support you no matter what you choose to do. But tomorrow, it’s back to school.”

“Okay, Mom,” Kadijah said with a sigh.

Mom gave Kadijah a kiss on the forehead and left the bedroom.

Kadijah threw the covers back over her head. But her phone buzzed again. And again. And again.

“UGH! Why doesn’t everyone leave me alone!” yelled Kadijah, finally picking up her phone. She saw the latest text message from Zoey:

we r outside yr house and not leaving til u come out. worried about u and want to make sure yr OK. Damon brought you ice cream—he said if u don’t come outside in 5 min he’s gonna eat it

Kadijah felt her lips pull into a small smile. People do care about me, she realized. She got out of bed, put on some shoes, and headed outside.

Zoey and Damon waved with both hands as they saw Kadijah approach. They had brought reinforcements—Trini and her friend Ivy were there too. They were all eating ice cream, and Damon handed Kadijah a quickly melting cone.

“Free ice cream can make anyone come outside. If you waited one more minute, you would have missed out,” Damon joked.

“Thanks, guys,” Kadijah said. “You didn’t have to come check on me.”

“You missed practice yesterday,” Trini said. “When you didn’t reply to my text, I texted Damon. He told me you were thinking about quitting. So we’re here to talk you out of it.”

Kadijah shook her head. “I’m just embarrassed. And scared. I made a fool of myself,” she said. “I really don’t know if I want to race again.” She took a quick lick from her cone to catch the drips oozing down the sides.

“I get it,” Trini said. “But part of sports—and life—is about learning to get back up and trying again after you fall.”

“Do you know how many times I’ve caused an accident in a race?” said Ivy. “I almost got kicked out of a racing league because of it! But, because I didn’t give up and was surrounded by people who wanted to help me, I got better at speed skating and learned to avoid crashes. And I made a lot of cool friends!” She elbowed Trini and laughed.

“Really?” Kadijah said, surprised.

“We’ve all made mistakes, in a lot of things,” said Damon. “Don’t give up on yourself.”

Trini put her hand on Kadijah’s shoulder. “And it was only your first official race. If you quit now, all the hard work and effort that you’ve put into this will be for nothing. You can’t end with a crash. You’ve got to get back out there and try again.”

Kadijah looked at Trini and her friends. She smiled.

“Thanks for the pep talk,” she said. “I’m tired of beating myself up, and I really don’t want to quit. I want to race this weekend, and no matter how I finish, I’ll know that I didn’t give up.”

“Group hug!” shouted Zoey.