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Nancy was meeting with Margaret to review the budget, Jack’s recovery, and a few other details when the phone buzzed, letting Margaret know Susan needed to interrupt. Picking up the phone, she asked what was needed, and the oddest look crossed her face.
“Show them in,” she said lightly.
“Should I step out?” Nancy asked.
Margaret just looked at her for a moment, “No, why don’t you stay? I think we might need to make a tough call here, and I would like your input.”
Nancy looked quizzically at her before turning toward the door that was opening slightly. Noah walked in with a middle-aged looking man hunched over, but in nice jeans and a chambray shirt. Nancy looked up at Margaret in question, just as Noah stepped in to make the introductions.
“Margaret Katzen,” he said, to the man indicating Margaret, “this is Carl Swifett.”
Nancy gasped before she could filter the reaction.
“Nice to meet you, Carl,” Margaret said, not reacting as she indicated Nancy to Carl with a slight hand movement. “This is the nurse here on the ranch, Nancy Holmstead.”
Nancy silently held her hand out as good manners bade her do, but all the time was quietly trying to figure out what was happening.
“Ma’am,” Carl said, after releasing Margaret’s hand and turning to Nancy. “I see you know who I am?”
“Dr. Rosio, he is the doctor that oversees my work on the ranch,” she said by way of explanation.
Her eyes were drawn to his, and the heavy lines that framed them. He didn’t smile. He didn’t flinch, despite the horrid things she was sure he knew people thought about him.
“I understand,” he sighed. “Little Bend is such a small place; I should have known folks would all know each other.”
“Noah tells me you are seeking work,” Margaret interjected. “Are you relocating here permanently?”
“Was thinking about it. I can’t go back to Chicago.”
“Are you on probation from – you know, prison? Will you need to check in with people there?”
“No, ma’am. I have served my time on all charges, and so I’m a free man. At least physically,” he said. “You never get to walk away from it, though.”
“I know this may seem nosy, but how did you serve two years for killing someone?”
Nancy saw Noah, Margaret, and Carl’s eyes turn her direction.
“Nancy,” Margaret said, in a lightly rebuking tone.
“It’s alright, ma’am. I did what they claimed I did,” he said, his shoulders hunching more, “I can’t change that. I don’t have a good excuse, but the doctors felt keeping me locked up was causing me mental issues. I promise this is not an excuse, but I had recently returned from my fifth deployment from overseas, in which I had gone through a bad,” Nancy saw him stop, look at the floor and swallow hard before clearing his throat. “It was bad, and a lot of people died around me. I didn’t get the proper care, and that day I experienced a nasty flashback while driving. My psychiatrist said it was because I was driving the day the incident happened in Fallujah.”
Nancy felt herself soften, her heart constricting. This man wasn’t overconfident or trying to run from anything. Instead, it would appear he needed to make it right in some manner.
“I’m sorry for what you suffered,” Margaret said, as Nancy continued to mull.
“Me also. Why, though here? Where Dr. Rosio and his children live? This will make it harder for you,” Nancy said.
“I need help. Your ranch is where I was told I might work on my continuing issues. Then when I walked into the diner in town,” he shook his head as his eyes glistened, “I couldn’t believe it was him. I didn’t know he lived here. I promise you that much. I did try to talk to Dr. Rosio, even though I didn’t know what I would say.”
“I’m a hard worker and just need a chance. I don’t care what kind of work you have me do, but I would love to see if you have some ideas about me,” he rubbed his hands together. “I still have flashbacks and bad moments.”
Susan interrupted them at that moment, opening the door and popping her head in without notice.
“Dr. Rosio just pulled up by the clinic,” she said in a whisper as if he might hear.
“I’ll go,” Nancy said. “He was bringing supplies for the clinic to me.”
Margaret nodded, and Nancy took off with one last look at Carl. She was so conflicted her heart weighed her shoulders down. If she had just met Carl without Brendan’s preface of who he was, she would want him here to get help. That was simply not possible given the circumstances; she couldn’t remember a more messed up situation in her personal experience. Nothing close in her memories gave her knowledge of how to deal with such a conundrum.
“Hey,” Brendan said, as she ran into him due to her head being down as she walked.
“Hey,” she said, trying to appear like nothing was wrong.
He stared at her for a moment, as he opened the door to the clinic that they both walked through. He had a cooler that she assumed held immunizations and another large box that he placed on the table in the main reception area.
“Okay, what's up?”
She stopped, exhaled, and turned slowly to meet his eyes. “I just came from Margaret’s office. I know she would have told you herself, but I’m sorry – I don’t know how to process what is going on.”
“Tell me about it. I might have some wisdom.”
Nancy glanced about trying to weigh the pros and cons of her actions, and finally looked him square in the eye.
“Carl Swifett was here today, looking for a job and hoping to maybe participate in Belle’s clinic’s therapy sessions,” she said, stopping to gauge his facial expression.
She grew more confused as the anger she was expecting, didn’t seem to surface. He sat deep in thought for a moment.
“Was prison that hard or something else he needs therapy to fix?”
Nancy swallowed, “how much did you find out about him when the accident was first investigated.”
Brendan looked at her as a deep shade of red crossed his face, “None! I refused to listen to anything my attorney wished to volunteer back in that time.”
“You are willing to hear it now? From me?”
Nancy silently prayed that the answer might be no. This was so hard, and she had the almost crippling desire to surge forward and wrap her arms around Brendan. She knew it was dumb, but all his suffering somehow made her like the man more. He felt deeply and was loyal to those he called family. The woman who finally got to share him with his deceased first love Catelyn would be a lucky lady.
He nodded his readiness.
“He did tours overseas in the military, and he can’t vocalize it yet, but the last tour went bad. He was having a PTSD driven flashback as he drove. When he – when Catelyn,” Nancy just stopped.
Brendan sat down hard on the desk to his backside. “Oh!”
They just sat in silence.
“I’m the problem,” he said lightly, clearing his throat after a long pause.
“What do you mean?”
“I realized after a visit to Charlotte’s school, and speaking with her counselor, that I am the problem. Unfortunately, my girls have been experiencing my anger, vengeance, and illusions regarding Carl rather than the wonderful woman their mother was. None of it has to do with Catelyn anymore, it’s about me.”
Nancy sat there, taking in the moment, and not sure how a person responded to that kind of announcement.
“I want to move on, be happy, and I know beyond any reasonable doubt Caty would have wanted that for me. We talked about it for goodness sakes if something happened to either of us. We promised we would love again, make sure the girls had love in their lives, and carry on until the time came when we would meet again.”
“I understand moving on, but can that possibly include having Carl here on the ranch? That is a big order.”
“Yep, but not playing God is part of the oath I took as a doctor. Not passing judgment and leaving it to God is part of my faith. I have failed both recently as I allowed anger to root itself and drive my actions. My girls, friends, and family aren’t getting the best of me because of that anger, so I think it is time to live my best life,” he finished.
Nancy finally gave in and moved forward and slung her arms around him. After a minute, she left the reciprocation of the hug before pulling back.
“What was that about?” He said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes yet.
“I thought you needed it,” she replied with a small shrug.
Exhaling sharply, he chuckled lightly and nodded his agreement.
