Tod and I enter Mr. Atherton's office together first thing in the morning. We skip over going into how I left the cage last night and get straight to the point. “We know what I am.” I sigh as I sit down. “Sort of.”
“Sort of?” the principal asks, frowning slightly and leaning forward over his desk.
Coming up behind me, Tod places his hands on the back of my chair. “I've never heard of anything like it. But she's not one animal. She's all of them.”
“All of them?” Mr. Atherton redirects the frown to the fox behind me.
“Anything I can think of, I can be,” I clarify. “I went through a series of things. Fox, wolf, bear, cat... Guinea pig.”
“Guinea pig?” He doesn't even try not to stare at me.
“Yeah.” Drawing in a long breath, I meet his eyes, trying to battle the disbelief I see in them. “At first, I didn't change at all. But after Tod shifted for me... It was like seeing it helped me figure out what to do, or something.”
“But you weren't compelled to do it?”
I shake my head. “No. It was just like the first night. The pressure came, but I rode it out.”
“And then you could be anything you wanted?”
Closing my eyes, I try to tap into the energies I used for my transformation. Reaching it, I concentrate on changing form. I open my eyes and wind my lemur tail around my body as Mr. Atherton gapes openly. “How is that possible?”
I snort, not needing words to convey I have no way of knowing.
“She wants to demonstrate for the den and the pack,” Tod says on my behalf. “Do you think we could get them together, or will she need separate meetings?”
It takes a while for Mr. Atherton to respond because he's too busy trying to wrap his mind around the concept of someone who can be anything. “I think we can get them together. I'll call your grandmother.”
Tod makes a sound of agreement. “We figured there's no way anyone's going to believe this without seeing it.”
“No...” Mr. Atherton shakes his head, then stops and clears his throat. “I don't think you should tell anyone here about this. Wait until after we panic the adult community, okay?”
I nod, then realize there's no point in staying furry. Summoning the fog again, I shift back to fully human. Still stunned, Mr. Atherton shakes his head.
Behind me, the door slams open, and I turn to see a vaguely familiar girl sprint into the room. She stops, takes a half-second to catch her breath, and then throws herself at Tod. Instinctively, he scoops her into his arms, grinning down at her. “What are you doing here?” he asks, obviously pleased.
Catching something in the girl's expression, his smile fades. “What's wrong?” Fear radiates off of the question. I find myself on my feet as I wait for her answer, realizing where I know her from. She's the third of the Fox siblings, and really should be back in Washington.
“Toni?” Mr. Atherton stands too and walks around his desk, looking at the visitor with mingled curiosity and concern.
“My mom's in the car,” the girl tells him with a tremble in her voice. “Scot's trying to get her to come in, but she's scared.”
“Scared?” Mr. Atherton's face takes on a mask of adorable confusion. A hint of pain breaks through. “Of what?”
Toni's look is pitying. “Just scared in general, I think.”
“Antonia Marie!” Viv Fox calls dramatically down the hallway. She stalks into sight, stops just outside the door.
“Hello, Vivianne.”
Mr. Atherton's simple greeting is deep, warm and yet cautious. As if he's the one frightened of her, but not for anything physical she might do to him.
She blinks, blushing. It's almost as if she's surprised to see him in his office. Or if she didn't realize where she was going when she chased after her errant offspring. “Michael.”
All at once, we notice her bruises.
“What happened?” Tod and Mr. Atherton demand, in sync.
Another young Fox, the mirror image of Tod eight years or so ago, creeps into the room around his mother. His attempt at going unnoticed fails, and his brother narrows his eyes on him. “What happened, Scot?”
Toni's the one who answers though, not Scot. Scot just cowers under his brother's disapproval. “Daddy.”
“What?” Tod stares at her.
Mr. Atherton starts to growl.
“Michael, don't,” Viviane says quickly. “My mother's handling it.”
“How?” he demands.
The abused vixen looks down at the carpet. “It's a den matter.”
The wolf stares at her for several heartbeats, and a new growl adds itself to his.
“Then why are you here?”
Oh, expletive. I'm the one growling with him.
“Mike...” The warning in Tod's voice is my tip-off he's trying to control me rather than answering the question. His hand wrapping around my arm would also be a clue.
My fingers twine around his where he holds me, using the contact as a grounding force. I have no idea why I am so angry right now, but I can feel the claws trying to form.
Tod's siblings stare at me, but neither his mother nor Mr. Atherton pay me any mind at all. The latter is too busy watching the former, who focuses on the floor as if praying it will open up and swallow her. I know the feeling well.
After a few very tense moments, Tod says in a remarkably quiet voice, “It was a good question, Mom.”
Vivianne's eyes shimmer when she looks up, timid and terrified. The stress in Mr. Atherton's jaw starts to relax as his gaze softens. “What do you need, Viv?”
“I don't know. I just...” Tears flow freely down her marbled cheeks now. She gives up trying to communicate as Mr. Atherton rushes to her, crushing her against him, and running his hands down her back.
“It's alright,” he whispers.
Several pieces of information slide together in my head. The tone he uses for her. The fear and longing when he looks at her. Even the way he treats her children, which is ever so slightly different from the way he acts around the other students. He's fond of most of us, but there's an extra affection and concern around the Fox kids I never stopped to consider before.
Jerking my head at the Fox kid holding onto me, I pull him out of the room. “They need some time alone,” I whisper to him. “And we should find Sam.”
The other two trail after us to the dining room, where Sam and Aliah sit with an open textbook between them. They start when they notice the extra people with us, and Sam lets out a happy squeal before jumping up to embrace the pair.
“Mom brought them,” Tod tells her, his voice ominous.
Aliah and Sam follow us to the food line, wanting to know more. “When?” Sam demands. “And why? And where is she?”
Toni wraps her arms around her sister's. She grabs a plate of pancakes from the serving counter before answering. “Just now. Something bad happened. She needed to be with Michael.”
My friend's eyebrows knit together. “How bad?”
“Daddy showed up.” Toni swallows with a barely perceptible shiver as she moves away from the counter to let me take a plate. “He didn't like not being let in. He...”
Scot finishes for her. “He beat her up pretty bad. I dialed 911.”
Tod's teeth are gnashing together loud enough for people around us to hear them. Aliah puts a hand on his arm, trying to be soothing, but it doesn't break his tension at all.
“And now Mike's probably going to kill him,” Toni states, not sounding too distressed by the idea.
Tod frowns at her, confused.
“Well, she is his life mate,” I respond, going to grab my chocolate milk.
“What?” Tod blurts behind me.
“Life mate,” Sam repeats. “It's something wolves have.”
“I know what a life mate is!” He follows me to the table with short, rapid steps. “But what the hell makes you think my mother is his?”
Toni rolls her eyes and takes a seat. “Because it's obvious.”
“To who?” he wants to know.
Settling into the chair she vacated, Sam lets out a grunt of frustration. “Oh, come on. You never noticed? He's been in love with her since the dawn of time!”
“It's not his fault,” Toni puts in with kindness. “Tod can't help being a boy.” She gives her big brother a mocking little smile, which he counters with a sneer.
“Remember the day Kim got here?” I ask, ripping off a sliver of pancake with my fingers. “Your mom called him some time after breakfast, and he was in Seattle, which is over four hours from here, by lunch. As in, she called, and he jumped.” I run the pancake through a puddle of syrup, but don't eat it yet. “He hung up the phone and then ran to the airplane. Didn't even think about it.” The pancake goes to my mouth.
“Because she was tied into the mystery of you.”
I shake my head as I chew my food. “No,” I state when I'm done. “It was because of who called. Your mother could have been calling to ask for help with a splinter. The response would have been the same.”
Tod looks miffed about this while Scot, sitting beside his elder brother, appears to be confused. Okay, fine, Scot is ten. Scot has room to be unconvinced. But surely Tod should recognize the symptoms of a hopeless romantic entanglement.
Then again... I think about about Lyly and remember how Tod had said not that he was in love with her, but that he had always assumed he was, and I have to wonder.
“I don't understand,” Scot says, sad and hesitant. “Why wouldn't she want to be with him before now? This isn't the first time Daddy's hit her, and he was never around anyway.”
Yeah, alright. That's a decent thing to be confused about.
“This isn't the first time?” Tod demands.
“He's a wolf,” Sam tells Scot gently. “They're pretty...”
“Violent?” I wager.
“No.” She gives me a disapproving look. “Intense.”
Toni makes a sound of agreement. “I mean, how freaky is it to be told, 'Hey, I don't know you, but you're my life mate, and the only way you're going to get rid of me is by dying.' Seriously?”
“But he loves her!” I protest.
Aliah nods. “And, she did get away from him, didn't she?”
“She moved to Seattle,” Sam acknowledges. “And he just let her.”
“As far as we know,” Tod qualifies. He doesn't sound like he's accusing Mr. Atherton of anything, though, it's just he is so thrown by events he honestly has no idea how to react.
Sam waves a dismissive hand at him. “And it's all impressive that he loved her enough to let her go. But, I don't know, maybe the problem was how he just let her go,” she proposes. “Maybe he was supposed to throw a fit and drag her back home by her hair.”
“That's stupid,” Tod tells her.
“No,” Toni counters. “That's feminine thought.”
“Same thing,” mutters Scot.
Sam rolls her eyes. “Eat your breakfast, smarty pants.”
Scot sticks his tongue out at her, but digs into his food with remarkable zest.
Tod just stares at his plate, too deep in shock to eat.
He still hasn't said anything new when we all finish up and go to change for skiing, the younger foxes borrowing stuff because they didn't think to bring their ski things when they left Seattle. Apparently, they left almost immediately once their mother made her decision to come up here.
We go up to the mountain in Tod's car, to give them more freedom about when they come back than if we'd taken the bus. It's too small for both me and Aliah, so she stays behind to come up later, thus saving me from a ride spent being stared at. The foxes may have reason to be distracted from the mystery of what I changed into last night, but the rest of the school is going to want to know.
Tod stays virtually silent, but Toni and Sam more than make up for his reticence with wild gossip about people they know back in Washington. Things will be interesting next year with Tod gone and Toni at school.
I find I don't like to think about Tod leaving. Not that I suppose he'll be completely out of my life when his sisters will be so much in it. Still, the concept leaves a cold pit somewhere inside of me.
Putting on my too-thin gloves, I think sadly about Warren's pair. He wasn't at breakfast today, but he'll be back tomorrow. I suppose I'll return them to him then. But what am I going to do about his shirt? If I just put it back in his room, he's going to smell me on it. If I wash it, will he realize something is up with it? Even if I get the right detergent, maybe he'll notice it was supposed to be dirty. And if I keep it, then I stole it.
“Earth to Michaela!” Sam moves her hand moving up and down in front of my face. “We asked if you wanted to hit the backside with us.”
Unconsciously, I look towards the lift that would take me to the top of the mountain. “No,” I say slowly. “My brain's pretty fried. I'll stay on the easier stuff. You guys have fun.”
Shrugging, the three younger foxes push off towards the lift line. Tod stays in place, watching me. “You alright?”
“Yeah.” I give him a smile that I hope is reassuring before narrowing my eyes with concern. “Are you?”
His head shakes. “Other than being a blind idiot, you mean?”
“You are not an idiot,” I state with firm insistence. “You're one of the smartest people I know, fox.”
An eyebrow goes up. “Thanks. But I notice you aren't arguing against the blind part.”
I use the fact I haven't gotten my skis on yet as an excuse to look at the ground. Clicking my first boot into its binding, I sigh. “There are a lot of things you don't see.”
“So it would seem.” He sighs. “What else am I missing?”
I slide the second boot onto its ski and give my friend smile. “The point of life is figuring that out.”
His eyes roll. “Right.” He waves, then skates away after his siblings.
Much more awkwardly, I push my poles into the snow and move toward a lift that only services green slopes.
Three runs into the morning, I realize this isn't the distraction I'd hoped it would be. My form is off. I keep falling. I need new gloves. And I'm just not having fun today.
After taking my ski things back to their locker and picking up a replacement pair of gloves that costs me all that's left of my birthday money, I go over to the coffee shop and borrow one of their collections of short stories to curl up in an armchair with near the fireplace.
“What, all alone? Couldn't find anyone else's boyfriend to keep you company?”
Sighing down at the book, I don't look up at Lyly. Last time I talked to her, she begged me to help her. Guess her gratitude over me being willing to do that wore off.
“Too bad you can't find and keep one of your own,” snarks a second voice.
My fingers clutch the edges of the novel. “I had Troy for six months, Kim. He broke up with you after, what, a week?”
“Three. We were together for two weeks before you ever found out about it.” She brags of this as though it is something to be proud of. “And I broke up with him.”
“Very sensible of you,” I tell her, still gazing at the text before me. “Boyfriends who cheat on the girl before you frequently become boyfriends who cheat on you.”
“No one has ever cheated on me,” she claims, her tone inarguable and assured.
“Bill Stevens. Ninth grade.”
“Yeah, but that girl went to another school,” Kim defends instantly. As if what school the girl had gone to could possibly make a difference.
“Whatever.” Sticking a finger in my place in the book, I yawn and stretch. “Did you two come over here for a reason?”
“Yeah.” Lyly strikes a dramatic pose. “Tod's mine. You need to stay away from him.”
“Ah.” I put the book face down on the side of the chair and fold my hands demurely in my lap. In all honesty, I've been expecting this confrontation for weeks. “So, Tod's not allowed to play with me anymore?”
“No, he isn't.” Her features contort into an ugly visage of hatred. Interesting. I guess she can be unattractive if she tries hard enough.
“Have you told him?” I ask reasonably.
Her eyes narrow into slender daggers. “I'm telling you.”
I smile. “I'll keep your opinions in mind. But you need to keep in mind I'm his friend, not yours.”
“I don't trust you.” The words lack emotion, more a statement of fact than an actual attack.
Which begs the question, “Do you trust Tod?”
She absolutely glowers. “You already stole Seth from Simone. Do you have to ruin every relationship in this school?”
There's a growl from behind me. “She did not take my brother from Simone. He was always going to challenge to be free of her.”
Lyly glares at Amber. “Yeah? Well, he never said a word about it until she showed up.” Her finger jabs at me in accusation.
“He spoke plenty of it to me,” Amber states with calm alacrity as she places her hand on the back of my chair. “Since we were in preschool, back when he first realized what he had been committed to, he's been telling me he'd fight it. If Mike had anything at all to do with it, then all she did was give him an extra push. And I thank her for that.”
The other two watch her with stunned expressions, dropped jaws and all. “Simone is your friend,” Lyly whispers, astonished and appalled.
Amber's face goes cold. “Simone is a member of my community,” she says with a complete, and frightening, lack of warmth. “But she was never my friend.”
The leopard leans over me. “But Michaela is my friend. And if you desire to remain healthy, little fox, you will leave her alone.”
Lyly just stares.
“Mike's not worth fighting over,” Kim drawls, trying to sound bored. If I couldn't hear how fast her heart is beating, I might have believed it. But Amber managed to scare her, too.
“Yeah,” Lyly mutters in agreement.
“And she's not a threat to you and Tod anyway.” Kim tosses her hair and gives her hips a little shake. “She's way too freakish.”
Freakish. She doesn't mean I'm a freak for being a new kind of were either, or because of my scent. If that's what she meant, then she'd be a freak too. No, it's just a word she's been tossing at me for years. Once upon a time, it hurt my feelings. Back before I realized that if she was normal, then I wanted to be a freak.
My tormentors saunter away, acting as if they won our little battle. Whatever.
“I'm sorry,” Amber whispers.
“For what?” I turn in the chair so I can see her.
“For claiming the right to name you friend.” Her eyes, the same color as her name, drop to the floor and refuse to meet mine. “I know I don't deserve the honor.”
“Sure you do.” I smile at Seth's strange sister, wondering if it's normal for her to talk like she lives in a fantasy novel. I've never heard her say enough to know for sure. “You just defended me against my arch-enemies. Usually people stand in line to stab me in the back and get on Kim's good side.”
“Why?” Her eyes move up to squint at me. “Are the people in your old school unusually dimwitted?”
I never did figure that out, actually. Yes, she's prettier than I am. Yes, she's wittier than I am. But she's mean and petty and shallow too. What is the attraction? And why don't the weres echo that draw? Is it simply that animals are good judges of character?
Instead of getting into that, I laugh softly. “See, spoken like my friend.” Waving at the chair next to mine, I invite her to sit down.
At the door, Tod and Aliah pass by Lyly on her way out of the shop. There's a slightly panicked look on Tod's face when he first sees her – first realizes he's completely trapped into, at minimum, acknowledging her existence. They're too far away for me to hear what's said, but it's a very brief exchange that leaves a lost confusion hovering over Tod's features.
His face is scrunched as he continues into the building toward the barista. Before he gets to the counter, he notices me and alters his course to come stand behind Amber. Aliah trails him quietly, sadly. In animal form, her tail would be drooping right now.
“She said her dress is lavender,” Tod tells me, absolutely bewildered.
“Yes,” says Amber. “So you can obtain for her a suitable corsage.”
He looks as clueless as ever.
The leopard shakes her head with amusement. “It is certain you know what corsages are, Tod. You've taken her to dances before.”
“But not this one.” A hand runs through hair already mussed by the helmet now grasped in his other hand. “There has been zero discussion about going to this dance.”
“But you did get back together?” Amber gives him a sideways look. “And you usually go to these dances. So it's a reasonable assumption you're going to this one.”
“I guess,” he admits. Behind him, Aliah slides towards the counter. “But...” Tod draws the thought out. “I'm not sure back together is really what we are.”
Amber makes a sharp sound of surprise.
I sigh. “But you haven't told her you aren't either, have you?”
The abashed way he starts to study his helmet is sufficient answer to the question.
“Well, you'd best hurry,” Amber tells him. “The dance is the night after next. You've already waited long enough for not taking her to be somewhat morally ambiguous.”
“Morally ambiguous?” he repeats with disbelief, looking up to gawk at her.
“Yes.” Amber turns to kneel backwards in her chair, wrapping her arms around the back of it. “If you ignore her thinking you're going together until Saturday, then don't take her, then you have fundamentally stood her up. Even waiting until tomorrow would make you an ass because it's roughly the same thing as breaking up with her the day before a dance. The only reason you're not clearly one already is because you lacked understanding of what was occurring.” She pauses to look thoughtful. “Although that does seems a very high level of cluelessness for someone who got a perfect score on his SATs.”
Tod stares at her like she grew a second head. “When did you start talking so much?” She starts to blush. “I think that's more than you've said to me in the whole three years we've known each other. And it was to tell me I'm an idiot and an asshole.”
“I... I... I didn't mean...”
“She was trying to help,” I say softly. Tod narrows his eyes at me, redirecting his disgruntlement. “Lyly thought the two of you were going to hook up again because you always have before. If this time is different, you have to tell her, or you're stringing her along. Which isn't nice.” Of course, I don't necessarily think being nice to Lyly is a high priority task.
He glares balefully at me for a few seconds, angry and at least slightly hurt. “I'm going to get coffee.” Turning sharply, he takes a step away, but then stops. Scanning the room, he lets out a quiet sound of confusion. “Where did Aliah go?”
“I don't know,” I tell him.
He looks back at me, and I shrug. “I thought she was going to go get a drink, but she disappeared when I wasn't looking.”
“I never saw her leave,” Amber seconds.
Unhappy, Tod goes to the barista alone, returning with only one cup of coffee, but enough cookies for several people. He nudges the plate toward Amber with an air of silent apology, and she takes one with a small smile.
It's about fifteen minutes later when Seth stalks past us in ski boots, issuing a command in passing. “Come here.”
Tod and I raise our eyebrows at each other, but join Amber in following her brother to the windows.
“There she goes again!” The long-haired leopard points at someone in the park.
“There who goes?” Tod squints down at the figure starting in the half pipe. She gets a good amount of air, crosses her skies, and spins before nailing a perfect landing.
“You don't recognize your girlfriend's sister?” Seth taunts without animosity.
“Aliah?” Tod whispers, staring as the skier launches into the air again, doing a tail grab and another spin.
“Since when does Aliah hit the park?” I ask, thinking of how she knew all the beginner slopes so well and never tried to get me onto anything harder, never acted even slightly bored with my choice of terrain. I always knew she was worlds better than I am, but it didn't occur to me she could hold her own competing against anyone on the mountain.
“She's always liked it,” Seth tells us. “But I've only seen her there at weird times, like at opening or just before close on a deserted day when we were the only two people around. She's always had too much stage fright when the rest of the school was up.”
Tod, mesmerized, doesn't take his eyes off of her, or even blink. “What changed?”
Seth gives the fox a short look. “All I know for certain is she showed up with her jaw set and flames in her eyes to ask me if she could drop in before I did.” He looks back down at the show, which is attracting a fair amount of attention from other people. A group collected down on the snow applauds and cheers as she comes to a stop. “But whatever it is, this is as hot as I've ever seen her.”
Tod frowns and when she gets to the end of her run, he turns sharply and leaves without saying anything to us.
Seth smiles as he leaves. “She'd kill me if she knew I sent him down there.”
“You didn't send him down there,” his sister dismisses.
Seth laughs, the sound rolling easily off of him. “Didn't I?”
“No.” The response is automatic though, she doesn't seem to have much faith in it.
The most perfect eyes in the world look over to me. “Good work,” I tell him, accompanying the praise with a quick hug. Over his shoulder, I catch a glimpse of someone walking quickly away.
“I'll be back,” I tell the leopards. Then I sprint to the door before my prey can fully escape.
“Warren!” I run up behind the wolf.
Cautiously, he looks down at me as he stops. He's not dressed for boarding, unless he's hit himself really hard in the head and decided jeans are appropriate apparel. “Michaela.”
“Why are you here?” I ask.
For several seconds, I think he's not going to tell me.
“I was looking for you.”
The admission is quiet and pained.
“Why?”
He shrugs. “There are a lot of rumors going around about you. About what happened to you last night.” His eyes flit around my face, never catching my gaze directly. “About why it is a girl who's been in town less than a month is calling a joint meeting of the pack and the den.”
“And you wanted to ask me about them?” I hazard.
“No.” The denial is swift, but heartfelt. His hand reaches to capture some of the hair being ripped in the wind back behind my ear. “I just wanted to make sure you're alright.”
His hand, bare despite the weather, sends little slivers of warmth down my whole body. “Now who's forgotten how to use a telephone?” I joke, trying to distract myself.
“I called the school.” He smiles faintly. “They said you were here.”
“Which did imply I wasn't dead.”
“Implied it, yes.” His remaining hand reaches out to cup my free cheek. His eyes softly roam over my face. “I wanted to be sure.”
Heart fluttering, lungs trying to figure out how to obtain oxygen, and thoughts scattered to the far corners of the world, I look back up at him. “Do you want to know what I am?” I whisper.
An eyebrow cocks. “Isn't it a secret?”
“Yes,” I confirm, my voice scarcely audible. “But I'll tell you.”
He shakes his head. “No, Michaela. My father would order me to tell him, and I would have to either do it or leave the pack.” One hand moves to brush through my hair. “I'll be there tonight, though.”
With a sad smile, he steps backwards, turns, and leaves me standing there staring at his back.
Part of me runs after him.
My body stays put.