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I TIPTOED IN THE DOOR, and peeped around it to make sure my father was asleep. There he was, out for the count in his bed – I smiled with relief, and slipped into the bathroom next to my room.
I was still fuming from that encounter at the club. Fuming most of all, to be honest, at myself, for not being able to see that the man who had approached me was someone important. How could I have been so stupid as to think I would get away with everything so easily? My life had never been easy, and the universe seemed intent on throwing every single curve ball it could my way.
Of course I had stormed off from my new boss. Of course I had. How could it have gone any other way? I was never good at reading people, and it was clear this wasn’t going to be any exception.
I had headed home soon after I had danced with him, not wanting to stick around long enough for him to say something else to me. Something like, you’re fired for being such a bitch to the man who’s paying your rent.
I pushed that to the back of my mind as I locked the door and start running the bath. I knew I should have been going to bed – the store opened in five hours, and I would have to be up to help with it – but I needed some time to unwind and relax after the night I’d had.
I always preferred to have a bath when I got back from the club. The smell of booze and smoke clung to my skin for hours if I didn’t, and I knew my father hated being reminded of that side of me. He accepted that I did what I had to do, but I didn’t want to make him think about it anymore than he already did.
He felt bad enough for not being able to provide for me. I wished I could tell him he had nothing to feel bad about, that I loved him for everything he had tried to do for me anyway – that I appreciated, in ways I could hardly put into words, how much he had done to look after me since Mom had passed away. He had been the one there after the accident, the one who had paid for my recovery and supported me as I tried to get back on my feet again. The one who had pushed me around in the wheelchair until I could walk properly again. I didn’t want him feeling bad about anything I did, because I was just paying him back for everything he had gone out of his way to do for me over the years.
Of course, he would never see it like that. He always saw it as some sort of failing, something pathetic on his account. He wanted me to be able to live the life of my dreams, but honestly, ever since the accident, I’ve known that would be impossible for me anyway. I didn’t want him to tie himself in knots over me. But he was my father, and I knew he always would, to some extent. Especially since we were the only family either of us had here.
I slipped out of the dress I had been wearing to dance and slid beneath the water, letting out a satisfied little sigh as it lapped over my body. It wasn’t often that I got any time for myself, and when I did, I knew I had to make the downright most of it every step of the way. I felt so exhausted most of the time, all I could do was crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and snatch a few hours of sleep here or there, but now, I was going to relax. And use that fancy shower gel I had gotten in a set for Christmas from some distant aunt five years ago.
As I massaged the gel into my body, I tried my best to let the stresses of the day go. I knew I would have to do some serious groveling to my new boss tomorrow as soon as I saw him again, but hopefully he would understand that I had only reacted the way I had because I thought he was just a pushy customer. Maybe he would be impressed, with the way I had stood up for myself...? Yeah, well, I could hope.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he got rid of me, to be quite honest. Most of the girls there were willing to do the extras the guys suggested to them, and I was taking up a spot from someone who could have taken things to the next level. I prayed I would be able to hang on to that job, though, because the tips there were pretty much the only thing keeping my father and I from being out on the street. I couldn’t lose it.
But I couldn’t take it any further, either. I knew I couldn’t do that. I would never be able to forgive myself if I did, and the last thing I needed in my life right now was this feeling that I had betrayed the last boundary I had.
God. What would have happened if I hadn’t been in that accident? It was a question I did my best not to linger on for too long, because it was so easy to get pulled down that deep rabbit hole of depression and hurt, but sometimes, it was hard not to wonder what my life would have been if I hadn’t been struck by that car. I would still be dancing, I was sure of it, and even if I wasn’t making a whole lot of money, at least I wouldn’t have to compromise my values to do it.
I might have been able to support my father better, too. At least he wouldn’t have gone almost bankrupt paying for the treatment it took to get me back on my feet. Sometimes, I joked with him that the only reason he had done all of that for me was because he needed someone to stack the shelves, but honestly, occasionally, I wondered if there was more truth to that than either of us would have liked to admit.
I didn’t have time for anything else in my life. Which I knew was totally unhealthy, but what else could I do? It wasn’t fair, but life wasn’t fair. I just had to come to terms with that, get over it, and remember that I was doing all of this because I wanted my father to be happy. Wanted him, at least, not to spend every moment of his life worried about how he was going to make ends meet.
Other women my age were settling down, dating, meeting guys, but I didn’t have time for that. Not in a million years. No way could I fit in something as decadent as a date on my current schedule. And I doubted any decent guy would want anything to do with me, once they found out what I did for a living. Who wanted to marry into a family that was in the midst of a constant money problem, with a wife who would be running out of the door to make it to her dancing gig every evening at a club that wasn’t exactly known for its artistic prowess?
Still, sometimes I wondered what it might have been like if I could actually find someone, someone who could make me happy. Someone who would look at me and see past all the chaos in my life, someone who would understand that I was only doing all of this because I had to. If I had any other options out there, I would have taken them, and I prayed one would turn up, sooner rather than later.
Andreas flickered through my mind again. The way he had danced with me, there was no denying how my body had responded to him, and some part of me hated myself for giving in to that so easily. He must have been used to having this effect on women, but I wasn’t going to give in, just like that, like it was nothing. I wasn’t there to be plucked off the dancefloor by whatever random man saw me and decided he liked what he saw. I was working.
And I was working for him now, too. Maybe not for much longer, but at least for now. And that meant that I kept things strictly business with him, not trying to make money off of him in the way I might have with other guys at that bar.
Ugh, I hated this. Hated the way he had made me feel. Because there had been something hot about the way he had moved against me, his hands on my body, like he owned me and wanted everyone to know about it. I supposed, on some level, he did.
It had been a long time since I had felt any actual, genuine chemistry with a guy, and something about it was throwing me off my game. That closeness... it had opened up something in me that I had been doing my best to ignore for so long now I had hardly remembered it existed in the first place.
I had to admit, I was a little turned-on by the thought of him. And I knew I couldn’t let something like that carry on – I needed to get him out of my system, once and for all, make sure that nothing that he did or said got in the way of me doing my job and making my money.
I traced my hand over my stomach, and down between my thighs, the water steaming in the dark room around me. Was I really going to do this...?
But before I could stop myself, I let my fingers dip into my pussy, and I began to move them slowly in circles as I pictured the way he had felt when he had been dancing with me.
His hands were so strong. He had been so confident when he was moving against me, as though he knew he had me right where he wanted me, at least for that moment. And he had made it pretty clear he had wanted more, too, if I had been willing to give it to him. If I had just slipped backstage with him, behind that curtain, then anything at all could have happened...
I could imagine his mouth finding mine, and I moved my fingers with a little more purpose between my legs. God, it felt good – it had been a long time since I had felt my libido sparking with anything like the kind of passion that it was now, and I had to press my lips together to keep from making a moan. I squeezed my thighs around my hand, clenching tight, needing more, my body crying out for it.
I imagined his mouth tracing down my body, over my neck, the heat of it against my skin – his hands, strong, as he pulled me against him, my body nothing but a toy for him to play with. The power he had over me, he knew it, and he knew just what I would do to satisfy him. And yet, in my head, all he cared about was pleasing me, making sure I got everything that I craved...
Suddenly, I felt the orgasm shudder through me, and I cried out – clamping a hand over my mouth, I prayed to God my father hadn’t been woken up by that sound. As I felt the waves of pleasure start to dissipate, I wondered what the hell was wrong with me – that man had totally pissed me off, and yet here I was, enjoying the thought of him doing more to me than I ever would have dreamed of in real life.
I got out of the bath, dried myself off, and headed to my bedroom. I didn’t want to think about him anymore. Whatever had just happened, I wasn’t going to let it get inside my head. I needed to get some sleep to prepare myself for work tomorrow, and hopefully we’d made enough money this month that I wouldn’t have to go work at the club tomorrow evening.
But I got the feeling I wasn’t going to be getting away from that man so easily. And that my encounters with Andreas Salieri had only just begun.
