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I ROLLED OVER GROGGILY in bed to switch off my alarm, yawned, and then turned right back over to go back to sleep.
I was exhausted. I had been out late last night, and even though I had agreed to talk to Andreas later today, I had no idea how I was going to get my head together enough to do that. It wasn’t just the physical exhaustion that was hitting me so hard, but the mental side of it, too, the side of that had kept me up half the night, running through everything that had happened, so scared that I had done something wrong, screwed up in some unthinkable way.
I knew I was okay. I had told Andreas to leave, but I was willing to at least hear him out. Especially after what my father had said to me last night.
“He’s trying to help us, sweetheart,” he begged me. “Just... talk to him, that’s all you need to do. Listen to what he’s got to say.”
He seemed really scared, and that was enough to put a notion of fear in me. I knew that he was looking out for me, above all else, and if he thought that we had a reason to be worried, well, maybe I should have considered it. I might not have wanted to admit that he had a point, but just speaking to Andreas wouldn’t do me any harm. I would hear what he had to say, and I would make my choices based on that.
If it was possible for me to keep my cool around him, of course, which I wasn’t entirely convinced I would be able to pull off. Maybe it was just because he had turned up out of the blue so soon after I had pleasured myself to the thought of him, but the tension between us the night before had been nigh-on unbearable. I was going to have to fight to keep myself from just throwing myself at him – I knew it would be hard to think straight with him around, but there were more important things going on here than my libido.
It was strange, after I had put so much time into building this new life for myself, to have him come walking back into it as though it was the most natural thing in the world. He admitted that he had been having me followed this whole time, so he likely knew every little detail of what I had been getting up to here. Was he jealous? Jealous that I was starting to put together a new life for myself? Did he think I was going to meet some other guy and forget about him entirely? Honestly, I couldn’t imagine finding a single person who matched up to our level of chemistry, our level of connection, but there was no way that I was going to admit that to him.
I rolled out of bed just before noon and hopped into a shower, hoping to wake myself up. The roses that he had brought for me were still sitting on my beside table, their sweet, floral perfume filling the small room around me. My father had already gone out for the day, though what he was doing, I had no idea. Maybe he wanted to give me some space to figure out what I was going to do next; I wished that he was here, so that I could talk to him, ask him what he thought I should have done, but I knew he would have told me to just think about it, work with Andreas as best I could to make sure that we both stayed safe.
I owed it to my father, too. That’s what I had to stay focused on here. It wasn’t just about me, it was about us, about our family, about doing everything I could to ensure I got us through this with as little harm as possible. And our store – that little slice of my mother that still existed in the city, the one that I knew he couldn’t stand losing.
There were so many balls in the air, and I had no clue how to keep juggling them all. I just wanted to do the right thing, but, as I stood in the shower, the only thing that I could think about was getting my hands on him again. I wanted him. Wanted him all for myself. And I knew that was going to be a problem, given that I was meant to be thinking about the big picture here.
I dried myself off and got dressed, brushed out my hair, and looked in the small mirror that hung over by the window. I looked all right. I looked tired, actually, but I was hoping he wouldn’t be able to tell that just by glancing at me. Would he be able to tell it had all been because I was up all night, thinking about him? Angry at him for thinking he could just roll up out of the blue and tell me how it was going to be? Confused about my feelings for him, my want for him, the desire that I needed to leave behind more than anything?
I had no idea. But there was only one way I was going to find that out.
I waited, sitting on the edge of my bed, for him to reach out to me. I was sure that he was going to take my invitation to visit again, but I was ready for him this time, he couldn’t catch me off-guard the way that he had before. I wasn’t going to let it happen. I was stronger, surer in what I needed from him, and I was going to make damn sure that he knew it. That I wasn’t just some air-headed girl he could twist around his finger, get her to do anything at all he wanted her to.
He had never treated me that way. He had never acted like that to me – he had always come at me like I was an equal, and I needed to remember as much. It might have been simpler for me to just put it all behind me and tell myself that he wasn’t the kind of man who could ever treat me with respect, but I knew it wasn’t so easy – there were layers to him, layers to this, and I couldn’t shut them down just like that.
I jumped when I heard the knock on the door. It had to be him – I leapt up to my feet and hurried over to answer it. And, when I pulled the door open, every bit of resolve that I had inside of me fell away, just like that.
“Andreas,” I murmured, and I grabbed his tie and pulled him over the threshold and into my arms. He kissed me at once, he tongue dancing against my lips, and I pressed my body to his and tried to forget about any of the doubt that had been rushing around my mind before. He was here – he was here, he was close to me, that was all that mattered.
I pulled him back towards the bed, and the two of us toppled down on to it together. He pushed his thigh between my legs, parting them, giving me something to grind against, and I moaned as he moved his mouth down to my neck, kissing me like he had been starving for me this whole time.
I knew just how he felt. My hands were hungry as they traced all over his body, stripping him down, pulling his clothes off, baring him to me entirely. I needed him, needed this, needed to feel his cock inside of me – needed all of it, and needed it now.
He moved me so that I was on top and unzipped his pants, pulling his already-hard cock into his hand. I gazed down at him for a moment, bit my lip – damn, there was so much that I wanted to do to him right now, I wasn’t even sure where I was meant to start. I spread my legs, pulling my panties to the side, and straddled him, just an inch or two from his throbbing cock.
“Fuck, you look good like that,” he murmured, and slowly, I moved myself down on top of him. As soon as I felt him penetrate me, I groaned loudly, not caring if the people next door could hear me through the paper-thin walls. He let me lower all the way down on top of him, and then, when he was satisfied, he gripped my hips, and began to thrust up into me.
All I could do was plant my hands on his chest and hold on for dear life as he fucked me hard. My whole body was shuddering with the sensation of it, the feeling of his cock moving deep into me, filling me like this as all he had been able to think about in the time that we had been apart. I knew how he felt – how could anything else have even come close to mattering, when we were here, when we were together?
He pulled me down on top of him and kissed me, slowing his thrusts slightly, and I rolled my hips this way and that on top of him, taking my time. I loved the feel of him, the feel of him filling me. I had missed this – missed this so badly that I could hardly believe it had taken me as long as it had to invite him back into my bed. But now that he was here, I was never, ever going to forget how good it felt – and I was never going to let anything get in the way of my urge to indulge it.
I pushed back up on him again, grinding down on him as hard as I could. I could tell from the ragged edge to his breath that he wasn’t far from coming, and I wanted to be the one to push him over that edge, tip him into his heavenly release. I didn’t move my eyes from his as I rode him, and the thrill of his pleasure was enough to intensify my own physical reaction. I was getting close, closer, and I wanted him to come with me – I wanted him to finish in the same moment, for both of us to get lost to our desire in the same instant so that I knew we were on the same page, finally.
And, as he started to move up to meet me again, I knew that I was going to get what I wanted. I could feel my muscles beginning to tense, that pleasure starting to arch and crest as I drew closer and closer to the edge, my eyes beginning to blur as I lost myself, unable to focus on anything other than the orgasm, than on him...
And finally, it hit me. I tossed my head back and let out a cry, and he groaned and pushed deep in me so that he could finish in the same instant I did. I clenched myself around him tight and felt him give in, felt the pleasure take control, and the last thing I remembered before I collapsed into his chest was the look in his eyes that told me I had done everything right.
