Chapter Twenty-four

Oh that I were as in months past; as in the days when God preserved me; When his candle shined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkness.

Job 29: 2 & 3

Early the next morn, they returned to Château du Vent Doux, and a grand celebration ensued. Upon receiving word that Sir Darrin and Lady Faith were safe, every servant and peasant began to decorate the hall and pitch in with the cooking and cleaning. One would think they were celebrating the return of Christ. The festivities carried on to the next day, when all discovered that Sir Theodore would live. It seemed like the merriment would never end. Yet finally, when fatigue set in, the château returned to its familiar pace.

As he had done every day since his return, Darrin went to check on Theo. He lay in a dark room, the right side of his face heavily bandaged. His sword arm and right leg were placed between boards in hopes to straighten out the broken bones and mend the crushed joints. The knight would never march into battle again or spar in the practice yards.

“Darrin, how wonderful to see you. Please pull back those dark drapes Nun hung over the window. I do prefer the light instead of the darkness.”

A hard lump formed in Darrin’s throat as he did what Theo asked. Theo kept a positive attitude and a profound strong faith in God even though his recovery was slow. By contrast, when things looked dim in Darrin’s life, he ran from God. When he received his shoulder wound, he grumbled at his lack of strength; not once had Theo uttered a single syllable of complaint, even though his life had dramatically changed and would never be the same again.

What made one man a strong pillar and another a weak twig? Darrin pulled a chair closer to the bed. “How are you feeling today?”

“Good, good. I am able to move my fingers. See?” The fingers on Theo’s right hand twitched and moved a tad, but a frail smile shone on the left side of his face.

Theo’s might of character humbled Darrin. “I pray that you grow stronger daily.”

“Do you?” Theo asked. “You and I had something in common. Neither of us sent up prayers to God often.”

“But you changed. I watched you change. You went from soiled and rowdy knight to a clean and good man. And even now, you remain strong and close to God when others would hold him with blame. Tell me, how did this happen?”

“Your wife. When you forced me to keep an eye on her, she made me do many things.”

His words took Darrin aback. Other than moving the trunks about, Theo had never spoken of what Faith did with her days. A prick of jealousy touched Darrin’s heart, but he mentally admonished the feeling. Theo was a truly honorable man. “What did she make you do?” he asked quietly.

“I would never go to chapel with the rest of you, so she would make me pray when I did other tasks. First, it was just a few prayers and then I began to pray every day—out loud. I found myself praying almost constantly. I am not sure even now how my heart changed. No matter what happens in my life, I am a new man.”

Here Theo lay, broken and bent, yet he spoke of being a new man. Darrin swallowed hard and turned away for fear he might blubber like a babe.

“You have changed too. You cannot hide your love for her, but something is holding you back.”

Darrin cleared his throat but kept his eyes averted to the bed coverlet. “You are most perceptive. But I must ask you first, how did you know that Rollin was my half-brother?”

“I think I always knew. Every time I saw Rollin, I felt as if I had met him long before he came to King Richard’s camp. I hadn’t, but I never connected the similarities between the two of you.”

Similarities? There were none that Darrin could see. Rollin was lean and had dark, handsome looks. A smile tugged on Darrin’s lips. He was stocky and resembled his father. “There are no similarities. We were as different as night and day.”

“That is not true. You both have similar eyes—yours hazel in the middle with blue on the rim. His just the opposite.” Theo struggled to sit up, a glint his left eye. “You both had the cocky saunter. Why, you even fought the same way. All this my mind saw, but my brain could not understand until you told me that Lady Faith thought you were brother and sister. Then it came to me as clear and as bold as our Savior’s resurrection.”

“That is why you abandoned me so abruptly in the great hall that fateful night. You went to talk to Rollin to see if he knew.”

“Aye, and besides, I had no desire to listen to your woe-is-me tale. I did not come right out and ask him, but when I said I believed Lady Angelina left because she was with child, Rollin’s eyes blazed with the truth. I then knew he was our traitor. From that moment on, I kept watch.”

“But you did not come to tell me.” Darrin raised his gaze to meet Theo’s.

“You were well in your cups and feeling sorry for yourself. I would have told you my suspicions in the morning. But that never happened.”

No, it hadn’t. Silence reigned between them as each of them made peace with that tragic eve.

“But none of this has to do with what is troubling you,” Theo said.

Darrin tapped his fingers together, debating if he should tell Theo the one secret that had not been revealed. “I fear I must let Faith go.” His voice was hoarse and choked with worry.

“Why? You love her. It beams from you like a holy light. God has given you everything you have ever wanted. Why are you not grateful?”

“Because I have not given her everything she deserves.”

Theo tipped his head to the side as perplexity settled on his exposed features.

Starting at the beginning, Darrin told him everything, and once the telling was done, a great relief swept through him.

“Now I understand why you were acting like a dog who had had his tail sawed off—chasing ghosts and villains around every corner. You must tell her.”

“Aye.” Darrin looked down at his folded hands. “But I fear her answer.”

“You fear she will want to be queen or that she will kick you out on your arse?”

“Both. I fear both.”

“Well, then, you are more of a cripple than I.”

Both men laughed and Darrin reached over and hugged his friend.

* * *

Faith sat in her room staring out the window as another new day approached, while Nun sat with needle and thread, hemming one of Faith’s gowns. Neither woman said a word, both deep in their thoughts.

With the new turn of events, Faith expected Darrin to come to her bed. But night after night, he still abstained. However, he was present every morn for prayers and often could be found in the chapel late in the eve. Understandably, he had a lot to think about and figure out—his past and where to go from here. Yet there was naught to fear anymore. Lord de Tosny had sent word to King John, accepting full responsibility for what all transpired, and a fragile peace ensued between both households.

There was no reason for Darrin to avoid her, unless he no longer wished to have her as wife. Her heart lurched. Did he still hate her so? However, when she was held captive, he came for her and had been extremely tender on their journey back home. Had he just been playing the chivalrous knight?

The birds sang in the trees and the sun’s warm rays rested on her face as she peered out the window. Spring was definitely courting summer. The blooms were fresh. Daffodils had given way to the heady smell of lavender. Before she knew it, there would be lilies and roses growing in the fields. The days grew longer and spirits flew higher. Even so, Faith could not chase away her weariness.

With a heavy sigh, she stood. “Let us go for a walk, Nun.”

Nun placed her mending on the table. “That is the wisest thing I have heard come out of your mouth in days.”

But before they could leave, the door swung on its hinges and Darrin stood in the entry.

“I shall leave the two of you alone,” Nun said.

But Darrin blocked her retreat. “Nay. What needs to be said can be said in front of you. For I think you know the truth as well as I.”

Without a word or an answer to Faith’s questioning look, Nun withdrew to her chair again.

“My lady, please sit.” Darrin took Faith by the hand and led her to the only other chair in the room. “I have something I must show you.” He knelt on one knee in front of her and pulled a yellow piece of parchment from his tunic. “I have not always been forthright with you. Please, read.”

The paleness of his skin and foreboding look in his eyes did little to calm her. Perhaps it was better not to know what the message held, but her curiosity could not be contained, and with shaking fingers, she took the note and unfolded it. She read the words once, not comprehending the meaning. Something about King Richard and her mother. Faith read it again, focusing on every word. Lady Faith de Saint Marie is my legitimate daughter.

Faith’s mind reeled forward and back. Her hands began to perspire as her heart took a rapid gallop. “What cruel jest is this?” she whispered.

Darrin reached out for the hand she had fisted without thought. “This is no tale, but truth. On his deathbed, King Richard revealed all. He paid my father for your care. It is why my father disapproved of my love for you all those years ago.”

Her whole body began to shake and quiver. King Richard, Coeur de Lion, was her father. It explained so much. Why she was taken from the abbey, why she was brought up as a lady, why she could not love who she wanted. Tears flooded her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Her mother was a peasant who had loved a prince who would become king. A tragic love story, indeed.

“Faith,” Darrin said softly. “Do you know what this means?”

Means? She tried to force her mind to remember the day the man, King Richard, had come to the abbey. The only day she had ever seen her father.

Darrin raised her chin. “You have many decisions to make.”

His words meant nothing to her. “What do you mean? Decisions?”

He seemed to ponder his answer for a long time. “Do you wish this to be publicly known? Do you wish to seek your rightful place as queen?”

Her mind swam—queen. An untitled ward, queen of England. It sounded absurd. She stared deep into Darrin’s earnest eyes, hoping to find answers. “What do you want me to do?”

Confusion filled his face. “It is not my choice, but yours. I will stand by your decision or go far away from you. Whatever you please, I shall do.”

Whatever she pleased. He spoke to her as if she were queen already. Was that what this was all about? He stood by her because she could be queen? Her heart fell into dark depths and crumpled. Saving her had been an act of honor, not an act of love. She rose to her feet and wiped her eyes. “Do not give me safe answers. I wish to know one thing. Do you stay with me out of duty or out of love?”

The warring of emotions that crossed his face almost sent her to the depths of despair. Then he took her head between his hands. “I love you. I have always loved you, even when I denied it. If you wish to be a queen or not, if you allow me to be your husband or if you send me away, I will always love you and cherish you and honor you.”

Piece by piece, her broken heart began to knit together. “If this be so, then husband, I wish only to be your loving wife with no crown.”

He gave her a deep kiss and then another that swept away all the hurt of the past ten years. He then kissed her face and neck and twirled her around the room. “If I could, I would give you the sun, the moon and the stars. For I adore you and you will always be my queen.”

“Stop,” she laughed. “I am very blessed. Besides knowing who my parents were, being your wife has always been my dream. Tell me, you knew him, what was he like?”

Darrin looked at her thoughtfully. “I knew him as a warrior, nothing more. He gave orders and once in a while asked for my advice, but I did not know him personally. For your sake, I wish I did.”

A soft creak from the chair behind them reminded them they were not alone. Nun stood with tears glistening in her eyes. “I can tell you what he was like. At least what he was like when he was young. He was kind and gentle. He would pick wildflowers out of a field and tie a red strip of cloth around them. He would stand up in the middle of a courtyard and sing off key and dance with anyone who might walk by. His laughter could fill your soul with sunshine. He would debate the affairs of the world with such passion and vigor. His smile would make you think of no others.”

Nun unwrapped the cloth that held her wimple in place. She pulled off the headdress, revealing short pale hair. “His kisses were sweet, warm and everlasting. I will never forget him.”

Faith placed her hands to her throat as Nun’s words sunk in deep in her heart. “Mother,” she whispered through her tears.

Crying just as hard, Nun shook her head. “I’m sorry I could not tell you. I needed to keep you safe. No one knew except for the abbess and Brother Klein. Now both are long gone. When you were little and Richard came to the abbey to see you, I was so excited. I thought surely we would be a family again. But he looked right through me as if I didn’t exist. All he saw was a young nun. He did not remember me, so I said nothing. He had changed. His mind was heavy with duty and war. His love from the past had died with the young man I knew. I feared for your safety, so I hid the truth even from you. Forgive me.”

Nun had bandaged Faith’s scrapes and hugged her when she had a bad fall. Told her stories and taught her to read. She was there to give advice and a scolding if necessary. Taught her how to bake a meat pie and how to prune a plant. Nun had dried Faith’s tears and held her tight when her heart was breaking.

She had always had a mother. Faith flew into Nun’s arms. “I love you, Mother.”

Nun patted Faith on her back. “And I love you too.”