Nana tried to cover her yawn, but I knew that the combined activity of planning this party, the emotion of my return, and the lively conversation had been too much for her. It was time for us to leave and let her rest.
Not wanting her to sense that our departure was for her or have her put up a fight that she wasn’t tired, I pretended to be beat myself. With an exaggerated yawn, I said, “It’s been a long day. I’d better head home.” I left out the fact that I didn’t have a home, unless Tanya was still willing to allow me to stay with her for a while.
“Oh, you poor thing,” Nana cooed. “You must be jet lagged.”
I tried to shove down the surge of guilt that assaulted me over the continued lying. Even though I knew it was in Nana’s best interest to think the best of me, it still felt selfish to hide the truth from her.
“Yes, we had better get going.” Cade jumped in and saved me from having to respond to Nana’s implied question about travel exhaustion.
We stood to leave and hugs were passed out all around. Even Glenn stooped down from his impressive height to give me a loose embrace. The three of us left together. We must have looked like the perfect little family as we walked down the hallway towards the facility’s front doors.
Once we emerged from the building, we stopped walking, and I braced myself for Cade’s anger. I fully expected him to tell me that he had covered for me in front of Nana for her benefit only, and that he never wanted to see me again. To say I was shocked when he asked, “Would you like a ride home?” would be the understatement of the year.
I nodded dumbly in response to his question, simultaneously convincing myself that he must not want to yell at me in front of Cammie. Once we were buckled into his SUV, I asked him to drop me off at the 10th Street Diner. Since I no longer had an apartment, I would go there in the hopes that Tanya was working and would allow me to stay with her for a while, until I figured out my next steps. While I was there, I could also check with the manager to see if they might be willing to give me my old job back. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try.
When we pulled into the diner’s lot, I was tempted to ask Cade to stay and give me a ride to Tanya’s apartment, in case she wasn’t working. He had already done more than enough, though, so I held my tongue. If Tanya wasn’t working right now, then I would ask another employee for a ride once his or her shift ended. Surely, I still knew some of the employees here. The diner experienced a high rate of turnover, but I hadn’t been gone that long.
“Thanks for the ride,” I turned to Cade. I knew my statement was completely inadequate, but I wasn’t sure how to thank him for creating a cover story for me and visiting my Nana, and all of the wonderful things he had done for her, despite his animosity towards me. It was truly astounding that he was able to separate his disdain for me from my Nana, who was an innocent victim in all of this.
I longed to say something profound to convey my deep gratitude to him, but all that came out was, “Thank you so much for everything.”
“Of course,” he nodded, brushing off over a year of checking in on my Nana as if it were nothing.
Tears welled in my eyes as I searched for the door’s handle to make my escape. Even though I knew it was impossible, I longed for a relationship with this remarkable man. I knew that I had to get out of his car before I turned into a blubbering, pathetic mess.
He spoke so quietly that I almost wasn’t sure if he had spoken at all. It could have very easily been a figment of my over-active imagination. I froze and turned to face him. “What?” I asked, disbelief written all over my face, despite how much I wanted his words to be real.
“You can come back to our place.” This time he added, “If you want to.”
I felt dizzy as I tried to convince myself that this was real. There was nothing in the world that I wanted more than to go home with Cade and his bright, funny daughter, but I couldn’t imagine why he would want me there.
Unable to speak, I merely nodded my head. That was evidently enough of a confirmation for Cade because he started his SUV and pulled out of the diner’s lot. An awkward silence fell over the car as we drove to his house. I couldn’t think of anything to say that would justify my appalling decision about the bank robbery, and Cade seemed content not to say anything at all.
Once we were inside, Cammie suggested that we order a pizza and watch a movie from On-Demand. That seemed like as good of a plan as any, so we both agreed. Before long, we were settled in on the couch watching a slapstick tween drama and eating pepperoni pizza. To an outside eye, we probably looked like a happy all-American family, but broiling just under the surface was the massive argument that I knew would be coming once Cammie went to bed.
I couldn’t imagine why Cade was allowing a convicted felon back into his house and around his daughter. We needed to talk about what had happened and his feelings about it, but we couldn’t do that until we were alone. The waiting for it was agonizing.
I doubted if he would ever be able to forgive me for my part in the robbery, so I was tempted to ask to use his phone to call Tanya for a ride. I needed to get my car and belongings and start getting on with my life. Even though Cade probably just wanted to chastise and yell at me, I couldn’t keep the glimmer of hope that he might someday be able to move past what had happened and have a real relationship with me. The fact that I was here with him had to mean something, right??
The movie seemed interminable, but it finally ended. Cammie yawned, even as she was insisting that she wasn’t tired and wanted to watch another flick. Her father held strong, as I was sensing was his habit, and sent her to bed.
While he was gone, tucking Cammie in, my nerves kicked into high gear. Even though I had been waiting to find out his true reaction all day, I almost preferred his fake friendliness. I couldn’t bare the thought of him hating me and only being pleasant for Nana and Cammie’s sakes.
When he returned, he said. “I think it’s time we had a serious talk.”
I gulped and nodded, frightened nearly to death of what he might have to say.