“I checked on your sheets before I came up here and they were all dry,” Tina chirps as she walks inside. She’s got a sack in one arm and a handful of my linens in the other. I take the sheets from her and head to the room with them. I mumble my thanks on the way there. In the kitchen, I can hear her unloading some things into the refrigerator.

I’m just finishing making the bed when she comes into the room. Tonight, she looks amazing, and I bet she didn’t even have to try. She’s wearing some adorable purple leggings, tall black boots, and a long-sleeved black tunic. Her blond hair is piled up on top of her head in a messy bun. The makeup has been scrubbed clean from her face, making her look much younger.

“How’s your day going besides spilling tea all over your bed?” she inquires as she stretches out on one side of the bed.

I wring my hands together as I begin pacing the room. “Tina, it’s terrible. I have an awful neighbor that I just met today.”

She sits back up and her eyebrows pinch together with worry. “What happened?”

“Well, the creeper from the stairwell has a name—Liam. He’s also my neighbor,” I tell her, not hiding my frustration.

“Okay, so you met someone new? You obviously learned his name, which means you were making an attempt at being social, even with someone who scared you at first. I can’t help but have a proud moment right now. So go on, because I need more details!”

The excitement coming from her was not what I expected. I need someone to be frustrated with me.

“Tina! It’s not cool or wonderful. It sucked. He clearly has problems with personal space, and I do too—like we couldn’t be more opposite. The reason I found out he was my neighbor was because he was blaring his music so loudly that pictures were falling from the wall. He sniffed me!”

I must be making a crazy face because she starts laughing hysterically. So much so that she nearly rolls off the bed. Biting down on my lip so I won’t laugh, I try to glare at her for making fun of me.

“Sid! I think this guy likes you. Please tell me he was hot,” she laughs, wagging her eyebrows.

My cheeks burn with embarrassment because he was the hottest man I have ever seen.

“Oh my God! You do think he’s hot. Sidney, this is great news! I’ve never seen you this way before. This is excellent progress.” It’s almost comical how she flips back and forth between goofy friend to helpful counselor.

“I’m embarrassed to say this, but when he tried to touch my cheek, I ran away like a freak and hid out in here until you showed up. I had to take an extra cold shower too.”

“I bet you did,” she says, her tone suggestive. I’m confused at what she’s suggesting.

“You’re not being a very good friend, laughing at me like that.” I sniff and cross my arms.

Giggling, she jumps and makes her way to me like she’s about to hug me. Instinctively, I back away, and her face falls a bit. My heart sinks that I just did that to her, but I most definitely don’t want her to hug me. She takes a deep breath and blows me a kiss before walking back into the kitchen.

When I make it to the kitchen, she’s pouring two glasses of wine. My eyes widen as I realize that one is for me.

“Tina, what are you doing?” I hiss at her.

She ignores my comment and hands it to me. I’m shaking when I take it from her, clutching it carefully like it might slip from my grasp at any moment.

“Sidney, you need to lighten up a bit. You’re a grown woman, and a glass of wine won’t hurt you. It will relax you, which is just what you need because you are wound up so tight tonight. You can have some M&Ms too,” she teases as she pulls out a jumbo bag of them.

I can’t help but grin at her. The awkward moment between us has passed. I think we may have just had our first fight and made up.

When she starts pulling DVDs from the bag, I grin. Tina is a huge ‘80s movie buff, so whenever she comes over, she brings movies to ‘educate’ me with. I’m so lucky to have her in my life. There is no way I would have made it this far without her guidance. Little by little, she helps me reclaim who I am.

“What movie is it tonight?” I question as I curl up into the recliner while she gets it started.

She turns to smile mischievously at me. “Sid, you are about to get a full-on education on the art of dirty dancing. Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey are going to be your instructors.” It sounds promising, much like one of my books.

I sip on the wine and choke a bit. “Tina! You expect me to drink this? It tastes like ass,” I harrumph and secretly high-five myself for slipping in a curse word.

“Get over it, woman. It’s an acquired taste. You have to force yourself to drink it and eventually you’ll get used to it. Now let’s watch this movie.”

I spend the first part of the movie nervously drinking down the wine every time the scenes start to get hot. So much so that I just realized I’ve emptied my glass. Thank goodness tonight is Friday and I can sleep in tomorrow morning. Tina refills my glass without even asking if I want any more.

By the end of the movie, I feel flushed, dizzy, and numb. I’ve decided that I love the movie and want to watch it again to pay closer attention, especially to Patrick Swayze.

“Okay, hon, I’m going to get back home. Joey just texted that he misses me. He really just wants to have sex, but I’ll pretend along with him. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I get another air kiss before she lets herself out.

I stand to get ready for bed and the room spins from the alcohol in my system. Suddenly, I feel nauseated, but I choke it down. I blink back nagging thoughts of Nurse Momma. She can’t hurt me anymore.

Carefully, I head to my bedroom, not bothering to turn off lights along the way. Stripping out of my dress, I crawl between my soft, clean sheets, and I swear they smell woodsy with a hint of mint, very familiar to a certain neighbor.

I fall asleep easily with thoughts of Liam, Patrick, and dirty dancing.

 

 

He drags a single finger between the swell of my bare breasts. That finger continues its path along my belly and dips into my navel. I bite my lip as I feel my lower body tense up with desire. The finger, this time, slowly creeps its way to my pubic bone and through the patch of hair just below it. It connects with a button that sends delicious electricity coursing through my body…

The room is pitch black as I wake completely drenched in sweat. My muscles in my calves feel sore and my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I realize I may have had my first orgasm in a dream. A dream about …

Once I’ve untangled myself from the sheets, I climb out of bed and head toward the shower in the dark. A shower is actually needed and for once not part of my OCD. After a really long cold shower, I dry off and head back to my bed. I’m almost there when I suddenly freeze mid-step.

The lights are all off. I went to bed last night without turning off the lights and I forgot to lock up after Tina left. My heart races in my chest as I come to the realization that someone has been in my apartment. I fumble in the dark until I locate the light switch for my room. My entire body freezes as I sense someone enter the room. The floor creaks and I shrink away from the sound. My need to see who is in my home takes over and I lunge forward, flipping on the switch.

Ragged breath escapes me in both shock and relief when I see Liam standing there, his arms crossed. His lips turn up into a boyish grin as his eyes peruse my naked body. But halfway through his perusal, he gapes at me when he sees the scars. Tears of embarrassment burst from my eyes as I dive into my bed and pull the sheets up to my chin.

“What are you doing in my home, Liam?” I snap at him. I’m angry that he’s made himself at home in MY apartment without so much as an invitation.

“Where did you get those scars?” he demands angrily, stomping over to my bed. He’s standing over me with his arms still crossed, and he looks completely pissed.

“It’s none of your business. Get out of here!” I screech, pointing at the door.

“Sidney, tell me how you got those and I’ll leave,” he tries again, this time more quietly. His expression softens, and I don’t feel as threatened.

“My momma gave them to me. She wasn’t a nice person,” I confess, and my bottom lip trembles.

He frowns at my teary-eyed face and reaches for me. Once again, I shrink away from his touch and mentally curse myself. The man is absolutely gorgeous, and in a perfect world, I would want nothing more than his touch right about now. But I live in an imperfect world.

“Sidney, I’m sorry. So you aren’t afraid of me? You’re afraid of my touch because of her?” he questions. His eyes are searching my face once again as if he’s trying to figure me out.

I nod and a tear escapes, rolling down my face. The look he’s giving me tells me that he wants to wipe the tear but is physically holding back doing so.

“She died a few weeks ago. That’s why I moved here. I watch Leta downstairs to live here and earn a little extra money. Now, why are you in my apartment?”

He rubs his cheeks with each hand before he answers me. “First of all, I’m glad the woman is dead or I’d probably kill her myself. Second, I happened to be walking by your door and it was ajar. Since it was so late, I worried why you had left your door open. When I peeked in, all the lights were on, but you were sleeping. I was turning the lights off when I heard you whimpering in your bed. Just when I was about to slip out, you jumped from the bed and headed to the shower. I knew if you saw me, you would be terrified, so I just hid.”

“Oh.” That’s all I have. And Tina thought my social skills were improving.

“You’re so damn beautiful, Sidney.” The way he watches me makes me want to believe those words. Nobody has ever told me that I’m beautiful.

My heart flutters wildly. And then reality sets in. I’ve seen myself naked, and now, so has he. My body is marred with the scars of my past. I’m ugly and damaged.

“Get out,” I tell him calmly, looking away from his gorgeous eyes. I’m breathing heavily from the emotions rolling through me.

“What? Sidney, no—”

“GET OUT!” I scream.

He flinches from my tone and steps a few paces back. Looking me over once more, he nods curtly and storms from the room. When I hear the front door slam, I know I’ve successfully gotten rid of him.

Now that he’s gone, my heart hurts and I succumb to the confusing emotions, allowing myself a good cry.

 

 

I wake up Saturday morning feeling drained and hung over. My head is throbbing out of control. Damn Tina and the stupid wine. So not only do I have a terrible hangover and am still replaying the events from last night, but it’s also laundry day. I loathe laundry day.

After I dress in another lightweight summer dress, I eat a few crackers to keep from throwing up. The thought of getting sick makes me think of Nurse Momma and I shudder. Forcing terrible thoughts from my mind, I gather up my dirty clothes and toss them into a basket.

I wonder if I’ll see Liam again. Something about him unnerves me and draws me in at the same time. He’s maddeningly beautiful and he smells delicious. If there were ever anyone I actually wanted to touch me, it would most definitely be him. Too bad I’ll never be able to allow that to happen.

Stepping into the hallway, I don’t see him, and his door is closed. I’ve probably ruined any chance at a friendship with him. My social ineptness caused me to flip out on him when he was only trying to look after me. It’s just so weird to go my entire life with nobody looking out for me and then, suddenly, they’re coming out of the woodwork. I’m overwhelmed by it most definitely.

Seeing the door to the stairwell, I grimace. I fucking hate the stairwell. Feeling a little pumped up with my inner cussing, I shakily make my way to the door. I push open the door and am hit with the familiar disgusting odor. More light enters the stairwell through small windows near the ceiling. It only showcases the cracked and mildew-covered walls.

With shocking speed for someone carrying a full laundry basket, I hightail it down the stairs, holding my breath, until I reach the basement door. I fling it open and gasp in the damp air that has a hint of detergent in it. The laundry room in the basement is the least of my worries. It’s the damn stairwell that scares me half to death.

I make my way over to the washer and load my clothes. Once I’ve started it, I sit on the dilapidated sofa that’s down there. On laundry days, I just hang out and read until I’m all done. No sense in making unnecessary trips up and down the stairs.

I’m really getting into the story after a good half hour or more, imagining the book boyfriend to be Patrick Swayze when I hear the basement door open. I look up, but from my angle, I can’t see anyone descending the stairs. The creaking on the steps, though, indicates that someone is coming down them.

A bulky-looking man in his mid to late thirties comes into view. He’s unshaven with unkempt hair. The thick black-rimmed glasses he’s wearing remind me of something like what a serial killer would wear according to the books I’ve read. His face is littered with acne, and when he grins at me, I can see that he has yellow, gnarly teeth. The way he watches me like I’m on the menu, has my heart racing like crazy.

“You live in this building?” he asks, his voice deep and gravelly. The way he looks at me makes me squirm uncomfortably.

“Yeah, and you?” I ask, attempting to make small talk. My warning bells tell me to run up the stairs, but they do that all the time, so it’s hard to know if it is a legitimate fear or not.

“I live on the third floor. You must live on the second?” he questions. He seems to already know the answer but is waiting for confirmation. I don’t want to tell him, but I don’t see any way out of it.

“Um, yeah.”

He grunts but doesn’t say anything more. When the buzzer alerts me that my clothes are ready to be transferred to the dryer, I jump from the couch, thankful for the interruption. As I walk toward the machine, he stands in front of the table beside it. Leaning on it, he watches me in a way that makes me completely nervous. I’m pretty sure he is a weird person, but then again, everyone seems weird to me. In actuality, I’m the weird one.

I open the dryer and toss the wet clothes into them. When a pair of my panties falls to the floor, I bend quickly to retrieve them. His eyes are on my ass the entire time. I feel them sliding over me like oil. Shuddering, I hurry and close the dryer so I can start it.

“Um, do you need to use the machine? You can slide on in,” I sputter nervously, looking back into his steely grey eyes.

“I can slide on in, huh?” he asks suggestively as his eyes land on my breasts.

I quickly cross my arms over my chest to end his peepshow. He frowns at me, looking back up.

“Well, uh, nice to see you, but I need to run upstairs while these are drying. Bye now,” I say and wave in his direction before snatching my book from the sofa and hauling ass toward the stairs. The man’s dark chuckling behind me sends my skin into an uncontrollably itchy frenzy, and I fight to not gouge my skin with my nails.

The door slams loudly at the top of the stairs, and I look up to see Liam standing there, his arms crossed. I think it’s his signature move. The man’s laughing gets closer as I hurry and ascend the stairs. Liam looks beyond me at the creep, and the hateful look he sends that man’s way scares me half to death. I run past him and into the stairwell like my life depends on it.

It isn’t until I’m safely in my apartment and drinking in large gulps of air from the window that I finally start to relax. My mind races as I worry about what that creepy man’s intentions were. Since I am a mental head case, I don’t know what’s perceived and what’s actual. I’ll have to talk this out with Tina.

My skin feels so dirty from that man’s offensive stares, and coupled with the itchy burn I feel, I know I need a shower right away. I’m already naked before I make it to the bathroom and slip into the ice-cold shower. I moan in relief as the water slides over my skin, cooling off each scar. This new life of mine feels too big. I somehow feel like I wasn’t meant for this world at all because I certainly don’t fit in.

After I’ve gotten rid of the itchy feeling, I turn off the water and dry off. Hanging the towel back on the hook, I exit the bathroom. When I see Liam there, his arms folded in his signature stance, I for a split second have the urge to throw myself into his arms, but the moment quickly passes.

“Fuck, Sidney! Do you just walk around everywhere naked? You do laundry with no bra on? That fucker could have come in here because you left your damn door unlocked! What’s wrong with you?” he demands angrily.

Tears spring to my eyes as I recover from his words and the fact that he’s once again seen me naked. Instead of getting embarrassed this time, I stomp past him to my bedroom and into the closet. The first dress I find gets torn from the hanger and hastily pulled over my head. When my head pops back through, Liam is standing there watching me, his shoulder leaned against the doorframe. The way he looks at me affects me in a complete opposite manner than the creep from the laundry room. Liam looks at me with appreciation for my body, desire, and protectiveness.

I straighten up my dress and put my hands on my hips.

“Why do you keep coming into my house? I never invited you to be my protector and I certainly never invited you in my home,” I huff out.

He looks stung by my words. It makes me want to take them back.

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you don’t understand how hard it is for me to deal with this. Every day is a struggle for me to feel like a human being. I’m sorry if you can’t understand that,” I sigh sadly.

I’ve probably just told this man, whom I barely know, way too much. For some reason, I want to open up to him. Maybe an open person is the real me, buried deep down inside, because I certainly have done a lot of opening up in the last few weeks.

“Sid, I want us to be friends. You’re my neighbor. Can’t we just get past all of this awkwardness and hang out? Don’t you get lonely? I am so fucking lonely, Sidney. Please,” he begs, and tears threaten his own eyes.

My mouth parts in shock. This gorgeous man is hurting inside and I can’t help but feel a kinship to him.

“Yeah, I actually do get lonely. Tina is my only friend. I have to warn you though. I don’t know the first thing about being a good friend. She forces me to do things like watch movies and drink wine, but that’s the extent of it. You don’t expect me to go do things with you? I’m not comfortable leaving my apartment. I have major issues, Liam.”

He makes a move toward me and I flinch instinctively from him, which makes him stop dead in his tracks.

“Sidney, let’s be friends, and I promise you I will not touch you. I may want to sit near you though or stand close to you. But I won’t touch you. Can you trust me?”

Something about his words tells me that he’s being honest. I can feel the sincerity dripping from them. Giving in to him, I nod and close my eyes.

He steps over to me until we’re mere inches apart. Opening my eyes, I peek up at him. It’s as if he’s studying every single detail of my face so he can memorize it. His gaze is so intense that I feel like I might combust.

My words come out garbled. “Liam, right now, this is making me crazy. My skin is burning and I feel the need to shower again to cool it off. Do you see why this is hard for me?”

His eyes search mine for answers I don’t possess to give to him. Finally, he puckers his lips, dips his head to my neck, and blows cool air out over the flesh. The burn quickly morphs into a chill and I shiver. The way he’s blowing on me makes me want to pull his head to my neck so he can press his lips to it. But I don’t. I just breathe heavily as he dips farther and blows cool air down between my breasts, successfully ridding me of any itching.

“I feel better now. Thank you,” I whisper just inches from his dark hair.

His unique scent is flooding my senses once again. He pulls away to look at me, and I can’t figure out whether to be relieved or disappointed. My mind is still warring when he speaks.

“So what do friends with issues do? I’m kind of at a loss here,” he teases, one dark eyebrow quirking up. I have to drag my gaze from it to meet his eyes.

“Well, Tina left a stack of movies here. Want to watch something?” I ask. Quite frankly, I have no idea what to do either, but a movie seems like a good start.

“Sure, but I get to pick.” He grins down at me and dammit if I can’t help but stare at his lips. I can tell that he has to force himself away from me, and he practically jogs into the living room.

After regaining my composure, I follow him out there. He’s sitting in the middle of the couch with all of the movies spread out over the coffee table as he tries to decide on one.

“That one. I watched that one all the time as a kid.”

I pick up the one he’s pointing to and frown when I realize that it’s an action movie called Red Dawn. For some reason, I really hoped he would have picked Dirty Dancing. Flipping the movie over, I let out a squeal noticing Patrick Swayze stars in it.

“Yes! Let’s watch this one,” I agree excitedly and put it into the DVD player.

He watches me with a playful smirk on his lips. “Something tells me you’re only watching it for the hot guys,” he laughs.

“Something tells me you aren’t just a pretty face. You’re pretty intuitive,” I tease.

Oh my God, are we flirting? My cheeks redden at the realization. I make my way toward the recliner, but he pats the sofa beside him.

“But you promised,” I nearly whine.

“Dammit, Sidney. I will keep my word. It doesn’t mean we can’t sit beside each other. I’ll keep my hands off of you, I promise.”

He is giving me a look that promises a heated argument if I decline. Sighing, I make my way over to him and plop down onto the sofa next to him.

Turns out that the movie is amazing and I am a die-hard Patrick Swayze fan now. I will be asking Tina to bring me all of his movies in the near future.

“Are you hungry?” I ask once the movie is over.

“Nah. Why don’t you go ahead and get something without me. I need to run downstairs and switch out your laundry that’s probably finished by now. You stay here. I’d rather you not run into that asshole again.”

Before I can argue, he’s out the door. It makes me feel warm inside that he’s so protective over me. We’ve barely met and I already feel that same needy pull that I feel toward Tina. This can’t be good. I seem to latch myself on to people who force themselves into my life.

Heading into the bedroom, I call Tina really quickly before Liam comes back. When she answers, I launch into my crazy, rambling story without so much as a hello. Questionable social skills, I tell you.

“Tina, oh my God, I am freaking out right now. While I was doing laundry this morning, some weirdo from the building practically molested me with his eyes. I was about to have a full-on panic attack when Liam came to my rescue. Then, I was taking a shower to rid myself of the filth I felt from that man staring at me and I nearly run into Liam afterwards IN MY APARTMENT. I go off on him and get dressed, but then we have a moment in the closet. When I started to get all itchy, he blew on me and it went away.

“Oh wow. This is so weird trying to explain it. Anyhow, we just finished watching Red Dawn. I’m obsessed with Patrick Swayze now, so bring more of his movies over. Liam is downstairs doing my laundry as we speak so I don’t have to worry about running into the creep. And now I am just waiting for him to come back because I can’t wait to hang out with him some more. What’s wrong with me?”

The line is silent for a minute when I finish. Suddenly, hysterical laughing fills the other line, and I pinch my eyebrows together, trying to figure out why she thinks it’s funny.

“Sid, you have a crush. This is awesome.”

That’s it? Hell no.

“Tina, I’m being serious here! Am I crazy to just let this guy into my life like this? My brain tells me no but my body is another story. Is this normal?”

“Sid, baby, yes. Everything you’re saying is perfectly normal. You’ve got a crush. It is perfectly normal to obsess over said crush, which is exactly what you’re doing. Enjoy whatever it is that’s blossoming between you two. As far as the movies go, I’m on it. I’ll bring them the next time I see you. Now go get your flirt on,” she teases and hangs up on me.

She always does that when she doesn’t want me to say any more and to stew on what she’s said. Huffing, I hang up the phone and stalk back into the kitchen to find some lunch. By the time I’m finishing my sandwich, I hear Liam coming into the apartment.