It’s been two full weeks since Liam and I first met. And even though we still haven’t touched, we’re probably closer than most couples—even though we haven’t defined our relationship. We spend every waking minute together when I’m not working. Every week day, he walks me to and from work. Saturdays, he hangs out with me while I do laundry. And nights and weekends, we watch movies that Tina hooks me up with. I’ve fallen very comfortable in my new life. Thankfully I haven’t run into the creeper from the basement again.

At every opportunity, Liam strokes my hair. Most people might hold hands, but not us. He pets my hair like I’m a kitten, and I love every second of it. We’ve had a few near-kiss moments, and I’ve nearly convinced myself to go for it. Almost.

I’m putting some dishes in the dishwasher when Liam walks into the kitchen. He just lets himself in whenever he wants. I never complain. In fact, I love when he surprises me like this.

I’ve chosen a low cut dress that hugs my figure. Since we’ve spent so much time together, I find myself wanting to look pretty for him. His eyes graze over the swell of my breasts appreciatively, and I shiver with happiness.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks.

“I was just thinking that you always let yourself in whenever you want,” I tease at him.

He chuckles and comes up behind me. There doesn’t have to be touching for me to feel the energy that sparks between us when we are near one another. With him just inches behind me, inhaling the scent of my shampoo, the air crackles with the electric charge.

“You like it,” he growls, breathing into my hair.

My pelvis aches for him right now. There have been two other repeats of that night he caught me pleasuring myself. I love it when he helps by blowing on my body. Something about the way he does that sends me into the pleasure zone. We have the most unusual relationship, but it works for us.

“I do like it. I’d be so lonely without you,” I confide suddenly and turn around to face him. I expect him to smile and agree, but he looks troubled.

His eyebrows pinch together and he runs a hand through his messy hair. “I am nothing without you, but you, Sid? You need people besides me.”

His words are dark and foreboding. I hate the tone.

Whispering because I don’t trust my voice to speak any louder, I say, “What does that mean?”

Again, he runs both hands this time through his hair as he internally struggles with something that I’m not privy to. I’m not privy to anything about him, and it sucks.

“Because I won’t be around forever,” he says simply and stalks into the living room to the recliner.

Tears fill my eyes because I can’t imagine him being anywhere else. I need him. That unhealthy desire to latch on to someone rears its ugly head. There’s no way I can manage without him bounding into my apartment unannounced every day.

Since Tina got me hooked on wine and keeps me properly stocked now, I pop the cork off a new bottle and pour myself a glass. Greedily, I gulp it down almost as I used to do with the air from my window after a run up the disgusting stairwell. Now that Liam hangs out with me so consistently, I find that I need the therapeutic showers and window breaks less often. In fact, there are days that I don’t need either one. Of course I take a normal shower every day—though even they remain colder than ones normal people would have.

Lost in my thoughts, I suck down the entire glass of wine. I pour another one and hastily drink it down as well as I try to calm my nerves. The nerves from Liam’s words. What does he mean he won’t be around forever? Finally, I decide to join him in the living room. I sit on the end of the couch, curling my feet underneath me.

He stands up from the recliner when he sees me, and I fear that he’s going to leave. So many times, he’s just up and left when conversations got difficult. It is the most infuriating thing about him. Instead, he sits down on the opposite end of the sofa. He motions for me to come to him, and I know what he means. Pushing my legs up over the arm of the couch, I lie across the cushions so he can play with my hair. It’s one of our only ways we can connect physically.

The strokes are gentle and therapeutic for both of us. I can feel the tension dissipating as the muscles in my body relax.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. His words are so sad that tears once again spring in my eyes.

“For what?” I ask.

Silence is my answer, and the tears fall down either side of my face. I feel a separation forming between us, and it makes me sick to my stomach. Pulling away from him, I sit up and chug my wine.

“Maybe you should slow down,” he chides.

Ignoring him, I drain it completely and stomp into the kitchen to get more. I’ve already poured another glass and am drinking it when I see him glowering at me from the entrance to the kitchen, his arms folded.

“What?” I demand tearfully.

“You’re acting reckless, Sid. You’ve already downed half that bottle. I heard the cork pop not even ten minutes ago. At this rate, you’ll be shitfaced. I’m saying you need to slow down.”

I roll my eyes, and in an act of blatant defiance, I tip my head back and finish off the glass. I’m definitely feeling tingly all over and a little flushed.

“Sid,” he growls in warning, but I ignore him as I pour some more, this time filling the glass to the brim.

I wink at him as I drink it down.

“Sid! Put the glass down and cut the shit,” he demands angrily. His tone infuriates me.

“Or what, Liam? Newsflash, you aren’t my father. Well, who the hell knows? Maybe you could be. I don’t know where he is or anything about him anymore. Just like you. I know nothing about you. You’re a damn enigma. How is it fair that you won’t tell me anything? I’ve told you so much. My patience in this relationship, or whatever the fuck this is, is wearing thin!”

My chest heaves as I say my piece. Dizziness sweeps over me, but I grab the counter so it won’t affect me.

“I can’t. I’ve told you before that I can’t. Fuck it. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he huffs out and storms out of the apartment.

This time though, I’ve had enough. Setting my glass down, I hightail it after him. Running on wobbly legs, I race out my door and down the hall towards his. It’s about to slam in my face, but I put my foot in the doorway, stopping it, and push through until I’ve forced myself into his apartment. What I see horrifies me.

Liam turns around to face me, and he looks devastated. I look past him as I take in all of the moving boxes all over the living room. Things are halfway packed up, it would appear. My heart shatters into a million pieces.

“You’re moving?” I stammer as tears trickle down my cheeks.

He shamefully rubs his face but doesn’t respond. Suddenly, my throat is extremely dry and I need water. I stumble to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. When I open it and find it empty, I’m furious.

“So you were just going to fucking leave without telling me?” I screech as I slam the refrigerator door shut.

“Sid, please, let me explain,” he stutters in response.

I don’t want his halfhearted explanations. Between the wine and this newfound revelation, I want to vomit. Since the apartment is set up exactly like mine, I hurry toward the bathroom, feeling like I might be sick. I’ve just made it to the door and have my hand on the knob when his thunderous voice behinds me halts me.

“Don’t fucking go in there. Get out of my fucking apartment now!” he roars. The sudden change of mood startles me.

Flipping him off, I rush past him toward his front door and leave his moody ass in my dust. It isn’t until I’m safely back in my apartment with the window open, gasping for air, that I realize that he truly is leaving me. He’s also hiding something from me. I’ve always felt it underneath every spoken word from him.

For the first time in days, my skin breaks out in the burning itch that can only be quelled by an icy-cold shower. My tears completely blur my vision, but I somehow manage to make it to the bathroom. I strip out of my dress and turn on the shower. Once I step into the chilly water, my body quiets but my mind does not. How could he leave without telling me? Why would he get close to me when he knew he wouldn’t be staying? I am beyond hurt. I am devastated.

When my toes started to go numb, I shut off the shower and grab my towel to dry off. When I go to hang it back on the hook, he enters the bathroom. His large frame takes up the doorway, effectively trapping me in the bathroom. I can’t help the shiver that courses through my body as his eyes peruse every curve of my naked flesh.

Sad eyes make their way back up to mine, and I’m angry with him.

“Get out of my apartment,” I order coldly. Attempting to push past him, I halt my efforts when I realize that he doesn’t plan on moving and I will have to physically move him, which I won’t do.

He crosses his arms and pins me with his stare. “No, I will not leave.”

“Too late,” I spit at him. He’s practically all packed up and ready to go as it is.

“Sid, you’re being unreasonable. Please, let’s enjoy our last night together. Please,” he begs sadly. My heart is pounding so furiously in my chest that I fear it might explode.

A sob escapes me. “Our last night?” I choke out. “Why, Liam? How could you do this to me? You know I am not mentally stable. I told you everything. How could you not tell me our time would be cut short? Were you planning on leaving without saying goodbye?”

I’m crying uncontrollably now at the thought of losing the person I’m closest to. The only person I’ve ever been this close with.

“Sidney, I’m sorry. I promise I didn’t mean for it to go down this way. Please, let’s just spend our last night together enjoying each other’s presence. I know you don’t understand, but I need this.”

“Huh,” I huff out. “So, because you need this, I should just put it behind me that you are leaving me so we can hang out?”

“You don’t understand. I have to leave. It’s not my choice.”

My mind reverts back to his bathroom. Drugs?

“Are you going to rehab? Were you hiding drugs in your bathroom? Liam, it will be okay. We can work past this. I can wait for you while you help yourself.”

He grins at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Stepping toward me, he tugs a strand of wet hair. His close proximity to my naked body sends a thrill down my spine. When he dips down to blow on the flesh of my neck just below my ear, my lower body begins the familiar throbbing. For him.

“You’re so beautiful, and I am going to miss the hell out of you. I’ll never stop thinking about you. Ever.”

My body responds to his voice with a shudder. His chuckle warms me to my core.

“Sidney, go lie down on the bed. I want to see your face when you orgasm one last time. It’s a beautiful sight to see. A sight I want to commit to memory.”

He steps away and exits the bathroom. I take a moment to catch my breath and hurry to my bedroom. Sprawled out on the bed, looking sexy as hell in his body-hugging jeans and tight black shirt, he nods to my side of the bed. Shakily, I make my way over to it and stretch out on top of the sheets.

“You don’t need me, Sid. You’ve grown so strong since I’ve known you. Your past doesn’t have to always define you. I see a bright, happy future for you,” he whispers sadly as he rolls over on his side to look at me.

“But I’m happy now. I don’t want you to leave me,” I barely choke out.

“I know, but I have to go. I’m becoming toxic to you. You’ve come so far. You don’t need me holding you back from growing into the person you were born to be.”

“No, Liam. You’re wrong. I’m alive when I’m with you.” A sob escapes me, and I cry for a few moments while he watches me, appearing to memorize every feature of my face.

“I enable you, Sid. We’ve never left this building. Tina enables you too for that matter. You need to get out and experience the world. It won’t happen as long as I’m around. My leaving will be the best thing for you.”

I’m shaking my head no, but I can see the finality of his words written all over his face. So it’s my turn to memorize his face. His chocolate-brown eyes are sad but convinced.

“But I’ll miss you so much,” I squeak out.

He grins down at me and tugs a strand of my hair. “I’ll miss you too, Sid. So fucking much. You’ll be all I’ll ever think about.”

His words confuse me. If he’ll miss me so much, why will he leave me? Before I can obsess any more over the inevitable loss that will surely break me, he blows a cold breath on my nipple. My body instantly reacts, and I feel my lower region come to life.

“Sweet girl, are you going to touch yourself?” he croons as he continues his insanely sexy blowing across my belly.

I gasp but nod as my hand slips down between my legs.

“That’s it, beautiful. Put your finger on your clit. Pretend it’s my tongue.”

My finger grazes across my hot button and I jerk in pleasure. I continue to massage it softly, waiting for his next instructions.

“Your breathing has sped up. Does it feel good?”

Again, I just nod and bite my lip.

“It would feel more like my tongue if your finger was wet. Are you wet inside for me, Sid?”

Silently, I move the finger down and slip it inside. I’m definitely wet for him. Driving it in a couple of times, I pull it back out and stroke my clit again. A moan escapes me. Closing my eyes, I imagine his beautiful face between my legs. His perfect brown eyes looking up at me as he kisses my most sensitive body part with his tongue. The thought alone is almost my undoing. Cold breath blows across my neck, and I shiver as I get closer to my orgasm. My body is starting to tense up in preparation.

“Continue stroking your clit, baby. But now I want you to take your other hand and use it to help you come. Can you put a finger inside of yourself with your other hand?”

I do as I’m told and groan at the sensation.

“That’s it. Slip another one in.”

Slipping another one inside, I moan as my body stretches to fit two fingers.

“Does that feel good?” he asks, whispering into my neck. All of the sensations are too much, and I’m close to having my orgasm.

“Yes, it feels so good. I wish it were you, Liam,” I admit sadly.

“Shhh, I know. We’re pretending though. Curl your fingers that are inside of you. Do you feel it? Your g-spot? You might have to reach to find it.” His instructions are spot on, because my longer finger grazes something that sends delicious fire throughout my body.

“Oh,” I moan out as I look for it again. A couple more swipes and I’m shuddering as I come. My pussy clenches around my two fingers. I can’t keep up the massaging of my clit, so I just ride out the rest of my orgasm with my fingers inside me. When the aftershocks finally stop, I pull my fingers out and open my eyes.

He’s staring at me with a mixture of many emotions passing over his face. In this moment, I am overcome by the lonely look on his face. It is times like these that I wish I could just grab ahold of him and never let go.

“I love you,” he says softly. His gaze falls to my lips.

“I love you too,” I answer back and lick my lips. Right now, I want to kiss him but am afraid.

When he leans forward, I flutter my eyes closed and brace for something I’m both hopeful for and afraid of.

With the softest pressure, I feel his cool lips graze across my own. My heart beats wildly as I relish in this moment. For some reason, I feared that it would be awful, but it feels quite perfect. He pulls away, and I immediately open my eyes to gaze at him. The expression in his eyes now is one of resignation. It makes my heart ache so badly.

The wine is catching up with me, and I fight to keep my eyes open. When Liam’s hand reaches up and strokes my hair, I lose all control and drift off to sleep.