I wake up to the heartwarming memory of Liam’s lips brushing against mine. It was wonderful and my heart skips happily until I open my eyes. Flipping over, I realize that he’s not in my bed. No.

I burst from my bed and yank a dirty dress from the floor over my head. Not bothering with shoes, I run to the front door and fling it open. The hallway is empty, so I hurry over to Liam’s door and pound on it.

“Liam, let me in!” I shout through the door. Stopping for a moment, I listen for movement. When I don’t hear a sound, I sob and bang the door once more in frustration. “Why did you leave me?” I cry out to him, knowing that he’s already left.

My body collapses and I land hard on my bottom. I’m not sure how long I sit on the floor staring at his door and crying, but when the hallway starts to grow dark, I know it’s been most of the day. A grumble in my stomach curses me for not having eaten all day. Defeated, I drag myself to my feet and stumble back to my apartment.

Skipping the kitchen, I walk back to my bed and heave myself into it. My cries echo loudly through the room as I deal with losing my Liam. I can still smell his woodsy, minty scent on my pillow. Pulling it to me, I inhale it as I picture his perfect brown eyes. I already miss him so much. It just doesn’t make sense. Drifting off, I conjure up memories of the night before and our simple goodbye kiss. I want to freeze that moment and live in it forever.

 

 

“Sidney?” a sweet voice pulls me from my slumber. I blink my eyes open to see Tina standing beside my bed with a very worried look painted on her face.

I close my eyes again and drag the pillow back over my face. When it is jerked from me, I sit up angrily.

“What are you doing here, Tina? Go away,” I spit at her. She just rolls her eyes and walks over to the window, opening the blinds. The sun has me reaching for another pillow to cover my face with.

“Oh no you don’t,” she says, snatching away that pillow as well. My patience with her is wearing thin.

“Tina, what is your problem? Why are you even here on a Sunday morning?”

She stares at me, openmouthed. I can see the counselor in her take over, squashing my friend.

“Sweetie, it’s Monday and four in the afternoon. Donna called me when you didn’t show up to work. We figured you might be having an episode or something, so I told her I would check on you this afternoon. What’s going on?” The concern in her voice releases the grief I have been trying to sleep away, and a loud wail leaves my body.

“He left,” I somehow manage to choke out between sobs.

“Oh, Sid. For how long? Where did he go?” She may not have met him, but she knows how much he meant to me.

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me. I caught him packing up his apartment. I’m not sure he was ever planning on telling me.” My voice is but a whisper.

“I’m so sorry.”

“We kissed last night. It was perfect. Now he’s gone. I can’t handle this, Tina. I’m not strong enough for this.”

“Wow. I don’t even know what to say about that. All I know is that you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. You can get through this. I will help you, but you have to promise me that you won’t slip into a dark place over this. Promise me that you’ll try to live your life without him. You’ve come way too far to let this set you back.”

More tears slip out over my cheeks. A dark place is definitely where I am heading. Any hope of becoming a normal, mentally healthy person flew right out the window the moment Liam decided to leave. Tina is going to have her work cut out for her.

“I loved him. I loved him and he left me. My life is shit. I don’t even know why I try. Now please go away and let me wallow in my misery.”

She sits down at the end of the bed, so I peek over at her. Smiling sympathetically, she reaches over and pats my foot. As soon as she does it, she jerks her hand away, frowning. It’s too late, because now my foot is on fire where she touched it. Sending her the most hateful look I can muster, I leap out of bed and begin my process of coping. The icy-cold water is a good start to that process.