Renee stared down at her hands, clasped tightly within Shiloh’s. The icy cold that permeated her seemed to melt beneath his gentle, yet strong touch. She’d known from the moment they met he’d be instrumental in changing her life in ways she couldn’t imagine. That change had to start today, by telling him the truth. She only hoped when he knew, he wouldn’t turn his back and walk away.
“You know the first part, when I was young. I was shifted around from foster home to group homes in the welfare system, never staying long in one place. There were times when I almost wondered if I was going crazy, thinking I had a family somewhere who wanted me, who was looking for me. All I’d ever known was overcrowded houses with little food and angry kids. Moving from place to place became my norm. Until just before my tenth birthday; that’s when everything changed.”
She half-expected him to interrupt, but he simply nodded, indicating for her to keep going.
“I was living in a group home, I think it was in Kansas. I remember they’d get the smaller kids together and have us do shows when visitors came. It was weird how they’d dress us up in these school uniforms, and have us sing or read passages from books. I don’t remember doing that at the other homes, only this last one. There were several families there on this day, men in suits and ties, and women in dresses or blouses and pants. Nice outfits. But this one couple stood out, even to me, as being different than the others.”
“Different how?”
“I got the impression they were more important than the rest. Ms. Beavers, she’s the lady who ran our group, acted like she’d kiss the ground they walked on if they asked. Anyway, these two, a man and a woman, paid attention to me. Asked me questions, let me sit with them, things like that. I felt…special.”
Shiloh squeezed the hands he still held. “You are special, Renee.”
She gave him the briefest smile. The bad stuff was coming soon. What would he think? It didn’t matter, the truth had to be told.
“It wasn’t long before I found myself moving in with Darius and Eileen Black. I remember feeling overwhelmed when I walked into their house. Mansion, really. It was the biggest place I’d ever seen, and I was going to live there. Get a room all to myself, not sharing with anybody. And it was beautiful, a little girl’s dream room. A canopied bed with a pink ruffled bedspread and white lacy curtains on the windows, and I didn’t have to share it. A toy box overflowing with more things than I’d seen in my lifetime. At ten years old, it was like my every dream all wrapped up in a big package with a bow on top. It even had a bathroom attached. I don’t think I ever had a bathroom I didn’t share with a whole bunch of people, so this was something really special.”
Remembering those early years hurt; emotions threatening to choke her. She’d been happy there, having a brand-new family who loved her and took care of her. Gave her everything she’d ever dreamed about. Eileen treated her like a princess, having matching outfits made for them, right down to the shoes. She hadn’t realized until years later she was nothing more than a puppet, a doll, something for Eileen to play with and mold into her own image. It almost worked, too.
“I had private tutors until I reached high school age. Then I was allowed to go to a private school. I guess most of this is unimportant, really, in the grand scheme. I simply need you to understand the connection between me and Darius and Eileen. For all intents and purposes, they are—were—my parents for the greater part of my life. I can’t prove anything, but I’d bet money Darius is the one who made all my records disappear. He and Eileen told everyone I was his daughter from a previous marriage who’d come to live with them. I don’t look like either one of them, but that didn’t stop the lie, and nobody questioned it.”
“I’ve never heard of Darius or Eileen Black. Pretty common last name, though. Where were you living?”
“Kansas City.” She grinned and added, “Missouri, in case you were going to ask.”
Shiloh simply rolled his eyes and she chuckled, using the moment of levity to ground herself, remember she wasn’t still there, still in the grasp of two horrible people.
“Darius has several businesses in the city. All of them highly successful. Eileen does charitable work and fundraisers for the community. They’re friends with the mayor and a couple of state senators. Darius is friends with a couple of highly-placed judges too.”
“So, I guess he thinks he’s pretty unstoppable, at least on a state level.”
“Trust me, he is.” She pushed past the memory of trying to expose what Darius and Eileen were doing. She’d gone to Charles, the man she’d been dating when she’d uncovered the truth, begging him to help her expose Darius. Instead of going straight to the authorities, he’d taken her back to Darius, telling him he needed to put a muzzle on Renee before she got them all arrested. That betrayal still stung because she’d cared for Charles. His actions killed what affection she’d had, turning it to loathing and hate.
“Nobody is above the law, sweetheart. We’ll find a way to take him down, no matter how many high-powered friends he’s got.”
“Okay.” She gave a noncommittal agreement, though she doubted it’d happen. Too many had tried and failed. “I should probably get to the bad stuff. Really bad stuff. After I graduated high school, I decided what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted some real-life experience before heading to college, so I talked with my parents, and we decided to let me take a gap year. Darius let me intern for him. I think he wanted me around so he could keep an eye on me. And I was like an overeager puppy, doing my best to please my master. I learned a tremendous amount, following him around, watching him interact with businesspeople from all over the country. Eileen wasn’t happy about it. She wanted me to go straight to college after graduation. I’m not sure if she wanted me out of the house because I was older, and she didn’t want to have anybody making her look or feel older. She’s extremely vain about her looks, and I was cramping her style. People referred her to her Darius’ trophy wife and she loved it, because it made her feel young and attractive. Having an almost 19-year-old daughter didn’t figure in to that equation.”
“Sounds like an idiot. I’ve never understood the mentality that says you have to keep trying to alter reality. Living and aging are natural facts of life; it happens to everyone. There’s no changing or delaying the march of time. I’ve always said embrace who you are, and be proud of the life you’re given. Looks fade, who you are inside lives on.”
Renee chuckled, leaning against his side. “Eileen would’ve hated you. She does Botox, nips and tucks, whatever keeps her looking the perfect plastic princess.”
“I prefer reality to artificial. A woman like you holds more appeal.”
She felt a wash of heat flooding her cheeks and ducked her head, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Shiloh wasn’t flirting, he was speaking the truth, and it made her feel special. Oh, how she wished things were different. That she’d met him as part of a normal life. One where she could date him, get to know him. Maybe even have a relationship. All of that was moot, because the reality was she might never have a chance at a normal life. Not as long as Darius and Eileen were on her trail.
“Darius loves her, despite her flaws, or maybe because of them. They are far more alike than I’d ever imagined. Working daily with him opened my eyes to the facts. Not everybody who worked for him thought he walked on water; quite the opposite. I heard murmurs, rumblings of discontent. People weren’t happy, but he paid better than anybody else in town, so job loyalty kept people long-term. Nobody said you had to like your job. You simply had to do it well. Darius has a home office because he tends toward being a workaholic. Running multilayered conglomerates isn’t a nine-to-five proposition. Leaving the office didn’t mean an end to the work day. I found the variety of businesses fascinating, so I didn’t mind the long hours.”
Shiloh was drawing tiny patterns with his fingertip on top of her hand, and it distracted her. He didn’t even seem to be aware he was doing it, a faraway expression on his face. She wondered if he was even listening. She’d been droning on and on, probably boring him out of his mind.
Great going, he’s comatose from boredom.
“What kind of businesses?” His question startled me, and I realized I’d been sitting for a long time, not talking, lost in the swirling distraction of his fingertip on my skin.
“Um, he runs an insurance brokerage firm. Also, he owns several restaurants within Kansas City, high-end, upper-level clientele. A sporting goods emporium. He’s also a partial owner of a couple sports franchises.” She grinned when Shiloh sat a little straighter. “You might have heard of them.” When she mentioned the names, his eyes widened in recognition. Men and their games, she mused.
“You’re right, he’s got his fingers in a lot of things. But this all sounds legit. Where does the not-so-legal stuff come into play?”
Oh, boy, here we go.
“Let me say up front, I never suspected they were up to anything illicit, immoral, or illegal. Not even a hint or a whisper, disgruntled employees aside. Until one evening, I was putting away some files in Darius’ office. He and Eileen had gone out for the evening. They did that a lot, dinners with clients. Charity events with the city’s finest. Dressing up in fancy gowns and wearing heels all night wasn’t high on my list of things I enjoyed, so he’d let me stay home. A phone call came through on Darius’ private line. I’m never supposed to answer that number; it’s only for his most important clients. People who don’t go through the normal channels. It was the way big business worked, he told me.”
“Let me guess. You answered it.”
“You think you’re so smart, don’t you? Of course I answered it.”
Shiloh’s shoulder moved under my head, and I knew he was laughing at me. Not that I blamed him; I’d been stupid and predictable. “There was a man on the other end, calling to say the meetup had been moved to the alternate site. I didn’t have a clue what he meant, but I said I’d relay the message to Darius. I debated with myself about calling him, because he was going to be supremely pissed that I’d answered his private line. On the other hand, he needed to go to the alternate meeting place or he’d miss his appointment. In the end, I called him. I’ve never heard Darius utter a single foul word before, but he went on a tirade. The words spewing from him scared me. I mean really scared me, like go and hide from the big, bad wolf terrified. After a while, he seemed calmer and realized what he’d said. He apologized and thanked me for letting him know. Then he said we’d talk when he got home. I think that frightened me more than the verbal abuse.”
“Did he tell you what the meeting was about?”
She barked out a harsh laugh. “It probably would have been best if I’d waited and let him tell me. But I’ve always had a curious streak coupled with a stubborn nature that doesn’t like to be told what to do. I had the address. Why not go there and find out why Darius blew a gasket? I changed clothes, because Darius and Eileen had been dressed in formal wear when they left.”
Shiloh leaned forward his elbows on his knees, and head in his hands. “You’re telling me you went to the meeting place.”
She nodded. “I had to. It was like I was compelled to go. Haven’t you ever had the feeling if you didn’t do something, bad things would happen?” At his shrug, she rolled her eyes hard enough it was a wonder they stayed inside her head. “I followed the GPS to the address I’d input. It took me outside of the city, to the north. There were rows and rows of shipping containers, maybe a dozen of them all stacked up on either side of this big warehouse-type building. All concrete blocks and metal, and no windows except high up by the roofline. It was a strange juxtaposition, because there were valets outside, parking cars. The mix of expensive Mercedes and BMWs were interspersed with older sedans and pickup trucks. Not what you’d expect to see for a high-end business function.”
She knew she’d spiked his interest when he sat up straighter, shifting until he was facing her. Shiloh’s brown eyes gleamed in the dappled sunlight spilling through the gazebo’s walls. His attention seemed riveted on every word, as though he knew the big payoff was moments away. If only it was that simple, instead of the nightmare she’d lived with for the past several years.
“I almost turned around and went home. Something didn’t add up. What kind of meeting took place in a rundown warehouse on the edge of town? But I couldn’t chicken out. If this was part of Darius’ business world, I needed to see for myself. Instead of giving my keys to the valet, I drove past and turned into an alley behind the building. The asphalt was cracked and full of potholes, and I was astonished my undercarriage made it ten feet without being torn loose. I ended up parking in total darkness, several feet from the building. There wasn’t a hint of light except for the bit shining through the high windows. I made it to the back door, only to find it padlocked.”
“I’m sure a girl scout like you didn’t let that stop you.”
“Okay, I won’t tell you that when I lived in one of the homes, I learned how to pick locks. One of the other girls taught me, smarty pants.” His laughter made her feel all warm and tingly inside, like a teenage schoolgirl with her first unrequited crush on her teacher. Been there, done that. “It was still pretty dark once I got inside, though there was lots of noise that grew louder the closer I got to the center of the warehouse. The lights got brighter, too. I snuck through an unoccupied doorway into what looked like a boxing arena, only not. There was a raised platform, square with ropes all the way around it. Picture a wrestling match, where the competitors fight. Except encircling that was a large chain-link fence reaching probably twelve feet high. The top was chain-link too. Like a giant cage. Dozens and dozens of people were crowded around the huge room. Some sat in cordoned off areas, with plush seating. They were dressed the way Darius and Eileen had been when they left the house. Formal wear. Suits and ties. Sparkling gowns. It was grotesquely obscene. Others stood behind barricades. Those folks looked more like regular people, dressed like working class people.”
“Sounds like somebody’s idea of a fight club. Illegal gambling is high all over the United States. Lucas wrote an award-winning article about it not too long ago.” Shiloh smiled, the pride in his brother’s work shining through.
“That’s what I thought it was—at first. I’d at least have understood the thrill of the fight. The lure of betting, winning and losing. This…it was diabolic. Macabre. Two men fought inside the ring. The crowd cheered every hit, every punch. I’d never seen anything like this spectacle. There was a kind of blood lust permeating the air. This wasn’t fighting. It was an annihilation. I watch someone open a portion of the fenced off area and toss in a baseball bat and a machete.”
Shiloh’s sharp inhalation pulled her from the vivid memory. She knew words alone couldn’t begin to describe the horror playing out before her that night. The events transpiring shattered her innocence and sent her whole world into a tailspin she’d never recovered from. Not really.
“Renee—”
“No, let me finish it. I don’t know if I can tell it again if I stop.” She drew in a ragged breath, letting the viciousness of the memory fade. “Both men fought like their lives depended on it. Little did I understand at the time, they were fighting for their very lives. I’ve learned these are called death matches. They’ve been around in the States for decades. Fighters willing to risk everything for the money these fights bring. And they bring in a lot of cash. Sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars, and that’s not even counting the illegal gambling. It’s an insidious monster and people feed on the depravity of death.”
She couldn’t sit still another second. Walking around the well in the center of the gazebo, she looked at the loveliness surrounding her, in sharp contrast to the ugliness of her words. It was impossible not to see the irony, and she wasn’t adept at explaining the desperation and malevolence she’d witnessed.
“The fighters grabbed the weapons, swinging them, attacking their opponent in a frenzied madness I refuse to remember. I lived with nightmares for months and months afterward. They still creep up on me occasionally. The mat soaked in blood. The sound of the baseball bat connecting. The snap of bone as it broke. It haunts me. And still the people cheered. I imagine it’s what the Roman Colosseum must’ve been like with the gladiators. Combatants fighting for their lives and the glory of the emperor. It sickened me, yet I couldn’t force my feet to move. Darius sat, chatting with some person seated beside him, occasionally glancing at the fight, but he seemed desensitized from it all. Eileen, though, I’ll never forget the look on her face. She savored every blow, every drop of blood shed.”
“Stop. Please, Renee, you’re killing me.”
“I can’t. I have to finish telling it. I stayed until the end. The killing blow. Until there was a lone combatant standing within the cage, while the crowd roared their approval. After that, it was like the spell was broken and I ran. Climbed in my car, and sped toward home. I had to stop twice on the way, because I was sick to my stomach.”
Shiloh stood and pulled her into his arms, and she realized she was shaking, though she hadn’t shed a single tear. There weren’t any left to cry.
“We’ll get them shut down.”
“You can’t. I’ve tried everything. If a whisper about the fights gets to the police, the site is simply shut down or moved to another location until the heat’s off, and then they start up again. I asked Darius about the fighters. Didn’t their families try to find them? Who were they? How could they get away with killing? Do you know what he told me? Nobody missed them because they were homeless. Men they got from the streets, still in decent shape so they could endure the matches. Former military, veterans down on their luck or with drug problems, but still able to do battle and make a good showing of it. That’s all it is to him—a show. A performance he can charge astronomical amounts of money for, and depraved, despicable people flock to them like it’s a bloody circus.”
“I promise we will stop the Blacks. Stop the killings. No matter what it takes, this will end and you’ll be free.”
“Free? Don’t you understand, I’ll never be free. I have blood on my hands. Blood money paid for everything. My clothes. My home. My education. Even the food I ate, it all came from the maiming or death of innocent men. I tried to make it right, I swear. I anonymously contacted the police about the fights. They promised to check out my story. The warehouse was clean, nothing to show I was telling the truth. Like I said, Darius has deep pockets, and isn’t above using his influence. And I had no proof. I was shocked, dumbfounded, and it never occurred to me I should have taken pictures. It was the word of an unverified, anonymous source versus that of a well-respected businessman, a multimillionaire with influential friends who’d back him.”
“I believe you.” Shiloh’s quiet, whispered affirmation swept through her like a wildfire, the blaze burning fast and hot, and she realized not all men were liars or cheats or murderers. There was at least one good man still in existence, and he held her within his embrace.
“Good. Fortunately, I do have more than my word. I’ve got evidence. I feigned ignorance when Darius got home. Pretended I hadn’t gone to the depths of hell hours before. He had no clue I’d witnessed his death match firsthand. He scolded me for taking the call on his private line, and then acted like nothing happened. The man I looked at as my father was as big a monster as anything you see in the movies. But I knew I needed a plan to get the proof to shut him down. I might have been young, but I wasn’t stupid. It took weeks, but I convinced him I could be trusted with my responsibility. I buttered him up, made him believe I wanted to be his successor in everything, every aspect of his business. Told him it didn’t matter if I had to get my hands dirty. I’d grown up in poverty, and I wasn’t ever going back. He believed me. Not enough to confide in me about the death matches; that would have been asking too much. But he allowed me more access to his private office, his private files. I hate to admit it, but I think I made a surprisingly good spy. Darius never suspected I put a bug on his private phone line and recorded the calls. Dates, times, locations of the matches. I created logs, documentation. Others coordinated the fights, and Darius only found out the locations the same day as the event, so it was hard to get cameras set up. I had to rely on sneaking in. The guards were increased after I ratted him out to the cops. I took photos on my phone. I climbed up a fire escape at one place, coming in through the huge industrial fans on the roof. Those shots are the best ones, because I didn’t have to hide behind corners or try and take the pictures over people’s shoulders. The ceiling shots are clear and crisp, and show every detail. Every face. Including Darius and Eileen.”
Shiloh lifted her chin with one finger, and she gave him a tremulous smile. The pride shining in his eyes made her feel ten feet tall. “You are amazing, sweetheart.”
“Not really. Because there’s a problem and it’s not a small one. A, Darius and Eileen know about the evidence. That’s why they’ve been hunting me. And b, I don’t exactly have access to it. The records I compiled, they’re hidden in their house. I didn’t have a choice but to leave them behind when I fled. I don’t think they’ve found them yet, or they’d have had one of the mercenaries take me out already.”
Shiloh closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. “You don’t make things easy, do you?”
“Once they figured out what I’d been doing, I couldn’t exactly stick around, could I?” She stared into his eyes, silently imploring him to understand what she’d done. Every day since she’d hightailed it out of Kansas City, she’d berated herself for being a coward, and not fighting for those poor men who’d been slaughtered because of people’s depravity and Darius and Eileen’s greed and quest for power. And they’d achieved their goal, because some of the guests at these infamous matches were powerful within the government and political circles. How they’d not only stood by, but condoned the loss of life simply for entertainment value, sickened her. Yet she hadn’t been able to stop it because she’d been too afraid. Instead, she’d bolted with only the clothes on her back and a bus ticket.
“I can’t believe you stayed as long as you did, sweetheart. Knowing what Darius put these people through, it must have been excruciatingly painful to face him day after day. We’re going to find a way to shut him down, and take down the people who’ve allowed something this atrocious to continue.”
“Thank you.”
He tilted his head, a questioning expression on his handsome face. “For what?”
“Believing me. My story is so farfetched, and I don’t have any proof, no cold hard evidence to hand over, yet you still trust I’m telling you the truth.”
A slow smile spread across his face, and in that instant, she saw the real man beneath the surface. The good, kind soul beneath the sometimes stoic personality, and it was beautiful. A lightness spilled through her, a belief things might actually work out for the best swept the doubt and fear away, things she’d lived with so long, they’d become a part of her. Now, a sense of calm and hope took their place, the foreign sensation filling her with warmth and comfort.
Reaching up, she placed her hands on each side of his face and stared, memorizing every inch. The strength and character in the strong bone structure, the dark sweep of his brows over deep chocolate-brown eyes. The slight uptick of his mouth, just a little higher on the right side than the left. Going on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips against his, and a spark of electricity zinged through her entire body. With a sigh, her mouth opened beneath his as he took over the kiss, devouring her lips in a fiery dance of lips and tongues. Just like in the movies, she could picture explosions of fireworks going off around them, the magic of the moment sweeping her under. This kiss felt more than magical—it felt right. Like she’d been waiting her whole life to feel Shiloh’s lips on hers, and she never wanted it to end.
Finally, excruciatingly slowly, she eased back from the kiss, taking one final sip at his lips, and dropping her hands from his face. She couldn’t meet his eyes, embarrassed to the bottom of her soul.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, crossing her arms across her chest. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
He shot her a quizzical look. “Why not? I’ve wanted to kiss you since about five minutes after I met you, except I didn’t want to rush you. I’m glad you kissed me. I hope you’ll want to do it again.”
“Oh…oh, I guess that would be okay. I mean…sometime…if you want to.”
He placed a finger against her lips. “I definitely want to. We can take things as fast or slow as you want. There’s no hurry.”
“I’d like that.”
Before he could say anything else, his phone rang, breaking the spell that seemed to have encircled them. This place, this gazebo, surely must be enchanted, because she’d spilled her soul to him. All the ugliness, the painful memories that haunted her, made her feel worthless, and turned them into something special with a single stolen kiss.
She stared at the swirling pattern of flowers climbing the columns of the walls, the greens and whites and ivory colors a perfect backdrop for the gazebo and wishing well. Shiloh’s murmured voice on the phone seemed far away, and she pondered the possibility of having a life again. Being free to move on from Darius, from Eileen, and their hatred and betrayal.
“I’m sorry. I’m supposed to meet Ridge and Lucas in town. You’ll be fine here. I won’t be too long, and when I get back, we’ll start working on a plan to get the evidence against Darius and close down his deadly empire once and for all.”
She nodded and he took her hand, helping her step out of the gazebo, and they headed toward the Big House. As they stepped out of the cluster of pine trees toward the house, she turned back, taking a final look at the white flower-covered structure. Such a small, insignificant structure to contain such wonder and magic. It felt like her whole life had diverged onto a new track, headed in a different yet equally exciting direction, and she couldn’t help wondering where it would take her.
Was she being given a shot at true happiness, or would her confession lead to her ultimate destruction?