The office was buzzing when Ty rolled in. Everyone was standing around in the bullpen talking about what had happened on the mountain. Valerie, a member of SAR and who worked as an evidence tech for the department, was sitting next to their new hire, Heather Lazore, a twentysomething woman, in the corner trying—but failing—to conceal her sobbing. Her face was buried in her hands and her shoulders were rounded and bobbing as she cried. Valerie was patting her back and trying to console her, but her face was expressionless.
Ty considered going over to console the woman and take over for Valerie, but he struggled to understand this reaction. She hadn’t worked there long enough to have been in Moose’s bed.
Her reaction was over-the-top and he had to walk away in order to not dislike her for her outburst. When he hurt, he only wanted to be left the hell alone.
Moose wouldn’t have wanted a public display like hers, a yowling false lamentation. If the tables had been turned, and he had been the one to die, Moose would have probably already been cracking jokes about his final fiery destination.
He smiled at the thought.
A lump formed in his throat as he thought about Moose. His emotions threatened to get the better of him, but he suppressed the urge to feel. Action was always the answer.
In the academy, he’d spent weeks learning that inaction only meant one thing—death. He didn’t want to test that lesson.
One of the other detectives, Detective Leo West, waved at him and motioned to Ty’s office. The day of closed-door meetings was about to happen. He internally moaned. He needed to be out on the hill, hitting the investigation in full force, not sitting in his office and handholding.
He nodded at West, putting his finger up and letting him know it would be a minute. First things first, he needed to be the leader the sheriff had wanted him to be. “Hey, guys,” he said, loudly enough to get everyone’s attention. He hadn’t prepared to do this, but someone had to say something about what had happened and his shoulders were wide enough to bear the weight.
“As all of you have heard by now, our brother in blue George ‘Moose’ Dolack has died.” He stopped, thinking about how much he hated the word died. It didn’t feel right. Moose hadn’t merely died, he left everyone under circumstances that none of them wished upon even their greatest enemies. “The sheriff has let me know that there is a counselor available for anyone to go to and talk about what has happened. I strongly urge you to take this opportunity to seek help and get things right within you. We are all equal members of this department and, as such, we are only as strong as our weakest member. Be strong, take care of yourself and take care of your team. If anyone needs to talk to me—” he motioned at West again “—I will be in my office and available whenever my door is open.”
Heather’s cry pierced the air, but she choked it back, making it sound strangled and high-pitched. She lifted her hand and excused herself from the work area with Valerie by her side.
He felt for her, he really did, but he was glad to see her go. Hopefully, she would be the first one to see the counselor about her feelings.
As he walked toward his office, he looked in the window. There was a blonde sitting in the hard blue plastic chair right across from his desk. He didn’t recognize the back of the woman’s head, but seeing anyone in his office and waiting for him when he first arrived made his stomach clench.
This day just kept getting better.
He turned to West who was tagging along behind him. “Looks like someone already beat you to the punch.” He nudged his chin in the direction of the woman in his office.
“I need to talk to you about this Moose thing.” West looked serious, but then when it came to this incident, most were. His gaze moved in the direction of the wailing Heather and Valerie.
“I’ll be with you as soon as I handle this.” He sighed.
West looked hesitant, as though whatever he wanted to talk about was of the utmost importance and he couldn’t give up easily.
“I promise,” Ty added, trying to reassure the guy.
Finally, West seemed appeased.
He cleared his throat before he stepped into the doorway of his office. The blonde turned to face him, and she had a surprised expression on her face as though she hadn’t been expecting him even though she had been sitting in his office.
Holly.
He was shocked to see her. Of all the people he would have guessed to find sitting in his private sanctum, the last person he would have predicted was the woman who had recently kicked him out of hers.
“Ty,” she said, making his name sound even more clipped than it was.
“How can I help you?” he asked, walking in and closing the door behind him. His heart was racing as though he was walking into an interrogation, but the one being interrogated was him.
“I think I should—”
“Apologize?” he said, cutting her off. “Don’t worry about it. As far as I can tell, you and I were always on different pages. Since we have known each other, we have never quite fit into each other’s lives when and where we think we should.”
She quirked an eyebrow and stared at him like she was searching his face for answers. “You think you should fit into my life? Now?”
He ran his hand over his face and stepped behind his desk, leaving his back toward her for a second longer than necessary in order to gain control over his mouth. He turned. She had a tiny smirk on her lips. “That’s... I just mean you and I—”
“Just stop,” she said with a smile. “I know what you mean, I only wanted to watch you try to explain yourself. I’ve thought about us since you helped me up there, too. It’s normal to dredge up the past when put into situations like we were. That doesn’t mean anything needs to come from our thoughts. We are old enough to know we are incompatible—at best.”
He sighed, the simple action was like a pressure valve on his soul. If she thought they were incompatible then he didn’t need to delve into any of his feelings. Things between them were not going anywhere and he could focus on everything else going on in his life. “You were always one to be direct.”
“I find it can help to face some things head-on.” She squirmed, like she was thinking about something, and her gaze moved to his desk.
He’d put everything sensitive out of sight and locked away, but he suddenly felt overly exposed for a variety of reasons. “By the way—” he paused, shuffling loose interoffice memos someone had placed on his desk “—who let you into my office?”
“Don’t worry,” she said, her smile disappearing. “I haven’t been here very long and the other guys in the office never really left me alone. I don’t think they wanted me touching anything. Oh, and I didn’t if that’s what you are worried about.”
He had been concerned about that, and whoever had let her in without his being inside was going to get an ass chewing. No one needed to be in his office when he wasn’t present. At least he knew she could be trusted. She wasn’t the one at fault, and she certainly didn’t need to feel guilty about someone else’s misstep.
“That’s not what I was thinking at all,” he lied. “I was only wondering.”
She sighed, but he didn’t think it sounded like it had come with a sense of relief. “The woman at the front desk brought me back, Heather was her name I think.”
“Got it.” He scowled but caught it and tried to cover it up as he thought about all the things he was going to say to their new hire. “So, what brought you here today? Is there something you need my help with?”
She looked almost affronted. “I...I wanted to apologize, whether or not you wanted to hear it. And I wanted to explain about what happened last night—”
“You made it clear...we are incompatible. If that’s the case, you don’t really need to explain what happened. You and your friend were having an argument. I shouldn’t have been there. I shouldn’t have interceded. I was wrong, even if my intentions were good. It’s fine. I learned my lesson,” he said, shutting her down.
One thing was certain, he wasn’t about to apologize. He may have made a mistake in acting on his instincts, but he would do it again if he was ever in a similar situation. The key was not to let himself get in a position where he had anything emotionally at stake, again. And that...that was easy enough if he only kept his distance from the woman who’d planted herself in his office.
“I appreciate that you acted. I do.” She wrung her hands, nervously. “The guy you saw, he’s not my boyfriend and he’s not really interested in me, he just had way too much to drink.”
“I could definitely tell he’d had too much to drink. However, the rest of what you said I don’t believe. Even if you’re not currently in a relationship with that guy, he seemed to think that you should be.” He tried not to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t stop it from entering his voice. “Regardless, it doesn’t matter who he is to you. And I don’t think that you need to worry about coming here and explaining your situation with him to me. Let’s put it in the past. I’m sure he was worried about you, that was obvious.”
“Robert has made it clear that he would like to have more than a working relationship, but I’m not interested.”
Oh, this just kept getting better.
“Was he the guy who called you in as a missing person?”
She nodded her head. “I’m surprised he did. He has women all over him and I really thought he was over this little crush on me.”
“Would you say that that kind of behavior was normal for this guy?”
She shook her head. “He really isn’t a bad man. He just doesn’t always think things through.”
“Oh, I have to say, if this was me, I wouldn’t be working with someone like that.”
“Well, it’s a small town, and I haven’t been an owner long enough to hire and fire at my leisure.”
“Are you trying to tell me that as smart as you are, you don’t have options?”
She crossed her hands over her chest, the universal sign that she was done talking about this. He couldn’t blame her—this was uncomfortable. Whatever she chose to do in her love life was up to her. It was none of his business. “Look, I didn’t come here to be judged by you or to seek life advice.”
“Then why did you come here? You’ve apologized, so...” He glanced toward the door.
He was being a jerk, but she had hurt his feelings and he couldn’t help himself. He could only put up with so much, and she was testing his limits.
“I want to help with this thing with your friend.”
“No.” He started to move toward the door to make it clear that it was time for her to go.
“Hear me out,” she said, raising her hands in a desperate plea.
He paused, though he should have kept on moving.
“I know I’m not a cop, and I know that there’s not much I can do. However, your friend’s death was my fault. You can’t argue that. He wouldn’t have been out there if it hadn’t been for me. If you care about me at all, let me be a part of this. I won’t be in the way.” Her words flew faster and faster as she pleaded her case.
He definitely should have kept walking. When she spoke to him like that, and wore her heart on her sleeve, it pulled at him and it made him soften. He didn’t like it. He let out a long sigh.
“I appreciate the offer—”
“Don’t.” She paused, like she was trying to find the right words to completely unlock him. “I need to do this, or I’m never going to be able to look at myself in the mirror. I can’t sit by and watch you and your department struggle.” She motioned toward the bullpen where the woman had been crying.
He walked back to his desk and opened up a drawer. He pulled out a waiver. “I can’t have you along in any professional capacity, but you have the right as a private citizen to ride along with law enforcement. However, you have to sign this.” He slid the paper across his desk and then tossed her a pen.
Her eyes brightened and a smile took over her features, making her even more beautiful and impossible to say no to than ever. This was gonna be one hell of an investigation if he had her tagging along, but he knew entirely too well how she was feeling and the weight that was bearing down on her soul. That same weight was bearing on his. They needed answers, and this was one time he hoped that having all hands on deck would lead to the answers everyone so desperately needed.