Not that we are sufficiently qualified in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency and qualifications come from God.
2 Corinthians 3:5
Trust God or trust yourself? The age-old debate takes as many turns as there are souls contemplating this question every day. Humanism has always fought hard against the thought of needing God.
Every person, and certainly every Christian, should strive to use their talents to the best of their ability, and we need to make decisions. But we are not called to run our own lives, doing as we please and ignoring God until we have an emergency that we cannot solve.
An attempt to live your life from the vantage point of self-reliance will only end in mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion, disillusionment, disappointment, the possibility of anger, and certain confusion.
Joshua 24:15 presents the choice we must make, and it is still the foremost choice for every believer:
If it is unacceptable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Of all the cautions I could offer you today, the most important one would be, “Make your own choice about whether or not you will serve God, and don’t let the world or anyone else make it for you.”
Who will you trust with your one-and-only life? The Alpha and Omega, who knows the beginning from the end? Or will you trust the gods of this world system and the spirit of self-reliance?
Self-reliance is man’s attempt to attain happiness through external things such as money, position, power, appearance, property, and so on. When we are convinced that these things will make us happy, we passionately chase them, only to experience a lot of disappointment when we discover that they don’t deliver what we thought they would.
I once heard someone say, “People spend their entire lives trying to climb the ladder of success, only to learn when they reach the top that their ladder is leaning against the wrong building.” I doubt that anyone at the point of dying asks questions about their bank balance. They want to be with family, friends, and, hopefully, God.
I am sure you have either said or heard people say, “I don’t need anybody. I am capable of taking care of myself.” I said that, or something similar, for a few years in my life, but thankfully I discovered that I do need other people, and I desperately need God. People who make statements like this have usually been hurt deeply by others, and they have never been introduced to a real relationship with God through Jesus. They don’t trust anyone except themselves, and they have not yet discovered that self-reliance is the worst choice they can make. They need to meet the one true God who created them and loves them unconditionally.
A person may think that they don’t need anyone, but God has created us to need each other, and like it or not, we cannot function at full capacity unless we learn to lean on and partner with other people in life. As individuals, we each have talents and abilities, but not one of us has it all. God places us in relationships with others who have what we do not, and as we learn to work together, we can accomplish great things and enjoy our lives.
Sadly, we often waste time being critical of people because they don’t do things the way we do, and we reject them instead of accepting them. This causes us to miss out on what they could add to our lives, and it robs them of what we could add to theirs. One of the most important things we can all learn is how valuable every person is. They are as imperfect as we are, and good relationships take work and effort, but they are definitely worth it.
Don’t assume that because you’ve been hurt by someone, everyone will hurt you! It is better to trust and perhaps get hurt occasionally than it is to isolate yourself and refuse to open your heart to anyone. Because of my experiences with people, I built a wall around my heart and was afraid to let anyone in. I had some relationships, but they were not healthy because I spent more time trying not to be rejected than I did building good relationships. Thankfully, through my relationship with God and experiencing the power of His Word, I have learned to trust again.
If you have been hurt, God is waiting to heal your wounded soul. He heals the brokenhearted and gives them joy instead of sorrow (see Isaiah 61:1–7). He will become a wall of protection around you. God does not guarantee that we will never be hurt, but He does promise to comfort, heal, and restore us when we are. Take time to slowly read and ponder the following Scripture. It helped me a great deal during my years of learning how to be God-reliant instead of self-reliant.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God [Who is the Source] of every comfort (consolation and encouragement),
Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction), so that we may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (AMPC)
If I had not let God heal my wounded soul, I would not be able to teach others how to receive help and comfort from Him. God also has some important things for you to do, and people for you to help. If you are one of those who is still wounded and stuck in your past pain, I pray that you will start receiving the comfort and healing of God today. Begin by simply asking God to heal your soul and to comfort you in your pain.
God will not only heal you, He will restore the lost years of your life. He promises to give us double blessings for our former troubles if we put our trust in Him. Although this does not all happen overnight, it does occur little by little as we continue trusting God and working with the Holy Spirit toward wholeness. Isaiah 61:7 (AMPC) says:
Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.
This promise of God has come true in my own life and for many other people I know. If it has not already been your experience, it can be. Trusting God is the key that unlocks this promise and all others as well.
Proverbs is a book that shares principles of wisdom, and the writer, Solomon, spends a lot of time showing the outcome of both wisdom and foolishness. There are promises for both the wise man and the fool. The wise man is promised just about every blessing you could name: direction, protection, long life and good health, prosperity for the whole person, promotion, and honor, just to name a few. But the fool can expect just the opposite.
In Proverbs, the fool is often described as the self-confident or self-reliant person. Let’s be clear—anyone who is self-reliant is foolish, and the outcome of such a choice is never good. A self-reliant person refuses to take advice. They are convinced that their way is always right. Shame is the highest rank that can be conferred on a fool (see Proverbs 3:35). Foolish people speak without thinking, and you can recognize them by the way they talk. They are scoffers and scorners who make fun of the righteous. They love evil and hate what is good. One of the most destructive character traits of the foolish, self-reliant person is pride. Their own pride deceives them and they refuse to listen to God.
I think it is safe to say that there are many foolish people in the world, and they will reap the fruit of their folly unless they change. The most exciting thing about God is that He offers new beginnings and fresh starts anytime we need one. No one is stuck forever in their past unless they choose to be. Although I was self-reliant for many years, with God’s help I have changed, and I am very aware that I need God at all times, and I need people! I trust God to put the right people in my life, and then, together, as we put our trust in God, amazing things take place.
Even someone fully committed to being a Christian occasionally does foolish things. At least I know I do. Several months ago, I made a long-term commitment without thoroughly thinking it through, and now I wish I had not done it. I made the commitment out of emotion rather than taking the time to seek God’s wisdom. I have repented and asked God to help me keep my word because I know it would be even more foolish if I didn’t, and I can learn from this error in judgment.
My point is that all of us are foolish at times, but if our hearts are right with God, He can even work good out of our mistakes. Occasionally being foolish and making independent decisions without consulting God is not the same as living as a self-reliant fool.
Learning that a foolish person is described in Scripture as a self-confident or self-reliant person was eye-opening for me. Self-reliance is a bigger problem for us than we might imagine. It basically closes the door to all the help that God wants to give us. When we rely on or trust ourselves, the result is tiny compared to the amazing result we get when we trust God!
To trust no one but yourself is a heavy burden to carry. It means that you have to do it all. Wow! I’m tired already just thinking about it, because I remember when I was that way. Part of the definition of trust is “to rely,” and that means to lean on, put confidence in, depend on, or count on. When we rely on another, we immediately lighten our load.
If you hear yourself say, “I can’t go on like this much longer,” it probably means that you are trying to do more than what you are created for. Each of us has limits. We can recognize what those limits are if we pay attention to our stress levels. When I am carrying such a heavy load that I am worn-out all the time, complaining frequently and usually being grouchy and impatient with other people, I have gone past my limit. I need to get some help, either from God or someone He has provided. I need to rely on others, but that is hard to do if I don’t know how to trust.
Do we really have to do all that we do? Are we truly the only one who can do what needs to be done? Or are we simply afraid to trust anyone else? Do we perhaps get our identity (worth and value) from being “the one who does it all”? Answering these questions with honesty requires some soul searching. We are very adept at hiding from our own selves. How many people truly know themselves and their motives behind what they do? Are we afraid to ask ourselves why we think we have to do it all because we might not like the answers we find? One of the things I painfully discovered was that I felt I had to do it all because I was a prideful person who was convinced nobody could do what needed to be done as well as I could. (Ouch!)
I also had a root of rejection in my life from my past, and because of it, I hesitated to ask for help because I thought I might be rejected if I did. It is not comfortable when we ask for help and receive a “no” answer. Like many others, I was afraid to look below the surface of my life, so I continued doing it all until I came close to collapse. It was only then that I finally asked God for help!
If you feel that you are at the end of your rope, hold on and ask God for help. When we ask God to help us, He usually gives us some large doses of truth that are not always easy to swallow. The truth makes us free, but only if we receive it, and to be honest, that usually hurts.
It wasn’t easy for me to admit I was proud, I liked being in control, I was self-reliant, or that my “I don’t need anybody” attitude was ungodly. As God revealed these things to me, I felt as if my soul was being ripped open and exposed in a way that made me very uncomfortable, but the truth did set me free. And it will do the same thing for anyone who is willing to receive it.
Now I not only don’t want to do it all, I know I cannot do it all! In reality, I never could, and neither can you.
Trusting God is the beginning of all healing. We must trust His ways even if they initially seem to make things worse. It is often hard to understand why healing can hurt worse than our disease, but when it comes to matters of the soul, that is often the case. I had a soul sickness. I didn’t know how to trust. I lived in fear. My backpack was fully loaded with heavy burdens and I carried it continually. I am actually glad that I have my past to refer to, because it helps me see how wonderful my life is now. When I remember the pressure I lived under, and how light and free I am now, I am truly amazed at the power and goodness of God!
I talk about the way I was because I think lots of people are still stuck there. My prayer is that knowing that someone else has been set free will give a weary soul encouragement that the same thing can happen to them if they will “let go and let God” in their lives.
Lean on God and rely on Him to help you and take care of you!
I am continually shocked when I think of all the people in the world today who think they don’t need God. If I didn’t have God in my life every moment, I could find no purpose in anything. God designed us to need Him, so apart from God, we can never function truly well. Some may deceive themselves into thinking they have it all together, but their day of reckoning will come. They will ultimately come to the end of themselves and, hopefully, have enough humility to invite God into their lives.
If you are convicted in any way by this teaching about being self-reliant and you want help, simply ask! God is the world’s top expert on helping people! His Holy Spirit is here with us and He is called the Helper (see John 14:26). Just imagine: You have a divine Helper standing by at all times, so why not give Him something to do? You really don’t have to do it all. The truth is that Jesus has already done it all, and through trust, faith, and belief in Him, you can breathe a sigh of relief and let your burden go!
You can be God-reliant instead of self-reliant.