Wedding Season

A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.

Amish Proverb

No one in Susanna Glick’s extended family was surprised when they received word that she was planning to marry Ammon Fisher. “We’d heard that a certain young man from Lebanon County had been spying out the land and seemed to enjoy being in the presence of our Susanna an awful lot,” said Sara Ellen Miller, Susanna’s aunt, who lives in Indiana. Sara Ellen and her husband traveled back to Susanna’s home in Lancaster County for the November wedding.

Traditionally, Amish weddings take place from late October through December, after the autumn harvest when the fields—and families—are resting. Weddings are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so there is time to prepare for the event and clean up after it.

A wedding is a particularly joyous occasion for the Amish. Two baptized members of the church join together, continue the faith, and a new family begins. These weddings are love matches; parents do not choose their child’s mate, though approval must be given. At a church service after fall communion, the couples planning to marry are “published”—announced in front of the congregation. But much preparation, mainly by the bride’s parents, has already begun, including the planting in early summer of several hundred stalks of celery, an important part of any Lancaster Amish wedding feast. No one knows why! Like so many things about the Amish, celery is just . . . tradition. “That was another hint we had of a coming wedding,” Sara Ellen said. “My sister had a huge patch of celery growing in her garden last summer.”

The wedding service, held in the home of the bride’s parents, is similar to the regular Sunday service. But the focus is on the serious step of marriage, for in the Amish church, there is no divorce. The sermons and Bible passages emphasize the relationship between man and wife. When it is time for the vows, the couple comes forward. Each is asked if they will remain together until death, and if they will be loyal and care for each other during adversity, affliction, sickness, and weakness. The minister then takes the couple’s hands in his and, wishing them the blessing and mercy of God, tells them to “Go forth in the Lord’s name. You are now man and wife.”

“Susanna and Ammon’s wedding was a true Lancaster-patterned wedding, with the long tables set up where the services had been,” Sara Ellen said. “The weather was a perfect day, a blessing from our Lord.” After the service, the benches used for the service are put together to form tables. During the wedding meal, the couple sits at the corner of two tables called the “Eck,” with their attendants on each side, and the unmarried boys sitting opposite the girls.

Sara Ellen described the meal as a feast: roast chickens, stuffing (a mixture of bread and chicken), mashed potatoes, cole slaw, applesauce, and creamed celery. Some leafy celery stalks were also put in jars to decorate the table. Among the desserts were pies, doughnuts, fruit, and pudding. “There were several wedding cakes made by the women, but one from a bakery as well,” Sara Ellen said. “They were eaten later in the day.” She said it took several seatings to feed the three hundred plus guests. “I’ve been to weddings with over five hundred!”

In the afternoon, the young people had a singing. “Soon, it was time for the evening meal for those who had stayed through the day,” Sara Ellen said. “And then comes the matchmaking!” Amish style, of course. The bride made a list of couples who were dating or interested in each other. As their names were called, they took their place at the table. More hymn singing followed the meal, with the “faster hymns” taking top billing. “Many, many young people caused the volume of hearty singing to rise and fall nonstop all afternoon, and then again after supper till midnight,” Sara Ellen said. “If we would have had no other benefit it would’ve been worth all our efforts and expenses of traveling from Indiana just to listen to these songs of a spiritual wedding.”

But it was what happened the next day that really made the trip worth every penny, she said. After spending the night at the bride’s home, Susanna and Ammon woke the next day to begin helping with the cleanup from the day before. “In the afternoon, they started to open up some gifts,” Sara Ellen said. “Ammon was handed a suspicious-looking box. He opened it carefully, first just enough to let the light in. Imagine everyone’s surprise when a rooster popped its head out and started to crow! Everyone just howled. We still don’t know who gave that gift. No one’s admitting to it!”

Susanna and Ammon, like most Amish newlyweds, typically spend a few weekends visiting relatives before settling into their new life. “I’m not sure where that rooster is just now,” Sara Ellen said. “My guess is Susanna will find a banty for it, and both rooster and hen will have a new home.”

Road Map: Getting There from Here

Weddings are such happy events! It’s hard to imagine that one out of three couples marrying today will end up divorced. The next time you are invited to a wedding, consider adding that couple to your daily prayers.

Divorce is not an option for the Amish. They believe they are making a vow to God, not just to another person. Such a commitment would definitely encourage couples to work out their differences.

Most Christians would say that divorce is not an option, but the divorce rate is nearly the same for them as it is for mainstream Americans. Most marriages have a “shortcoming” or two. Or three! We all have gaps (Rom. 3:23). There will always be gaps in life on this side of heaven. God wants to reveal to you his ability to fill that gap in your marriage. Write out a prayer to God, telling him specifically what you want to achieve in your marriage. Be sure to tell him what you are willing to do to accomplish your desires.

Think of the long-term relationships in your life. How do you affirm them? Displaying your wedding photos is one simple way to show how you value your marriage vows. Or what about your business relationships? A California family buys coffee from a local coffee shop run by a Christian couple who are committed to the welfare of their town. There are all kinds of simple ways, easy ways, to honor commitment in your day-to-day life.

Brian and Rosie M. came home from their honeymoon to find some balloons in the house. Actually, make that a lot of balloons, with the bedroom and bathroom filled from floor to ceiling and some other rooms several feet deep. I understand this prank was incubated in the mind of Brian’s uncle by marriage, Jason, who is otherwise a very sensible, conscientious man.

—Scribe from Grove City, Minnesota

A few girls are here helping us so I should get to work. We have the tables all in place and set over one hundred plates last evening. Now we have the porch and basement to do yet. It has been a busy week, but we still enjoyed it. On Wednesday, a whole gang of girls and some women helped us. The work just flew. It makes us feel so unworthy what everyone does for us. It is different for us since I don’t have any parents to help us.

—Scribe from Shipshewana, Indiana