––––––––
The next few days were strangely comforting. Lilly awoke every morning to the aroma of hot chocolate, cinnamon oatmeal, and a warm, fresh roll. She thought her days would be filled with tense or argumentative interrogations, but much to Dominic’s chagrin his steward found him that first morning and alerted him to the mountain of correspondence, unattended accounting, and tenant grievances that had been ignored for far too long. He was trapped in his study for hours upon hours of the day, and when he wasn’t hunched over his desk, he was out riding the estate, ordering fences repaired, crops rotated, roofs patched, and other necessary, but aggravatingly tedious chores that he had inherited.
Lilly had been granted a reprieve. Not wanting to waste a minute of it, she enjoyed every day as if the horrors of the recent past had never occurred. Every morning after breakfast she washed and dressed, then strolled among the gardens in the early morning light. She leisurely read in the library, took luncheon in the conservatory, and rode in the afternoons if the weather permitted. On days when the heavens would open and shower the countryside with a cleansing rain, her voice could be heard throughout the hall, accompanied by the tinkling of the pianoforte.
Dinner was the only time she saw Dominic, and although the first night was tense and silent they eventually relaxed in each other’s presence. He did not speak of the past, but instead would ask after her day and regale her with his work about the estate. He had a way of making his chores hilariously mundane, making Lilly laugh so hard her sides would hurt. These moments, strangely, were her favorite. It was the only time she felt at ease in his presence, and her senses delighted in his nearness as he sat at the head of the table and she sat to his left.
There was lightness about him after a long day of work, and his newly tanned skin made his countenance so much warmer then the foreboding and pale demeanor he used to carry. He was beginning to look more human in spirit; the cold intimidation that used to cloak him was now an alluring ruggedness. She always caught herself staring too long or leaning closer to him as he spoke. His humor was infectious and his smile created flutters in the pit of her stomach that would float up into her throat, making her giggle like she was a girl of ten and six again.
Out of all the stolen kisses and embraces before he had found out her identity, these moments scared Lilly the most. They felt intimate. They made Lilly feel strange things she wasn’t ready to feel. She felt like a wife.
After dinner they would go their separate ways, him to his study and her to the library to select a good book. Most of the time she never read a sentence, just sat and stared at the fire thinking about the man only a few doors away.
By the seventh day Lilly had grown quite tired of her routine. More servants had arrived from Dominic’s London residence, bringing more of Lilly’s belongings that she had to abandon when she had escaped her stepfather’s crimes. Lilly was ecstatic; her wardrobe was nearly complete, with the exception of a few of her more luxurious gowns.
She didn’t have much use for them now, being she would probably never be invited to an elegant affair again after the scandal attached to her name. She was just pleased to have more than the three gowns she had been living with since she had been employed as a servant. Lilly had sheepishly thanked Dominic and the servants, inwardly cringing at their curious glances at her and their lord. Whatever they were thinking Lilly didn’t care to know, but they were still polite and kind whenever she was near.
It was a warm afternoon, so Lilly took a stroll through the gardens, forgoing the shade of her bonnet to feel the rays of delicious sunshine on her face. She walked through a charming little wooden gate and unknowingly entered the kitchen gardens.
“Well, look who it is,” Laura said as she stepped out the kitchen door carrying a bucket of rags.
Lilly froze, unsure of what to do or say. “Hello, Laura, it’s nice to see you again.”
“I’m sure it is, but you see, I don’t think I am acquainted with you, so if you’ll excuse me I’ll just be on my way.” She turned to walk away.
“Laura, please, you’ve been the only friend I’ve had in a long time. I still have no one,” Lilly pleaded.
“That’s hard to believe now that you’re a rich ladybird,” Laura snapped.
“Don’t be vulgar. I am not anyone’s ladybird, or whatever term is being currently attached to my name. I don’t appreciate rumors being bandied around about me. If you only knew...” Lilly choked on her words and turned her back to Laura. She was shocked when she felt Laura’s comforting arm come around her.
“Oh, love, I knew you were too innocent for this world. Did he force you?”
“What!” Lilly screeched as she turned to face Laura. “What are you talking about?”
“Why, Lord Dominic, of course. He’s colder than the very devil. One day you were in the kitchens working, then the next you’re here staying in one of them fancy rooms upstairs. Naturally we all just assumed...”
“Assumed what?”
“He forced you to be his mistress.”
Lilly cringed as her cheeks turned a fiery pink. “It’s nothing like that. In fact, it’s a great deal more complicated.”
Laura gasped. “Are you pregnant, Millie?”
“No!” Lilly said before pulling Laura away from the open door of the kitchen. “I really am insulted, Laura. How could you think me so reckless?”
“Well then, what is it?”
Lilly sighed, but she didn’t want to lie anymore, least of all to the only friend she had made in the short time she had worked for Lord Redwick. Laura had a good heart.
“My name isn’t Millie, its Lillian St. James. My father was a duke. I came to Lord Redwick’s manor to hide, but he found me out and now he’s keeping me here.”
Laura was in utter shock, from the roots of her wispy brown hair to the toes of her black boots. “I don’t know what to say. Do I curtsy?” She moved to dip, but Lilly stopped her.
“Please don’t, Laura—after the way my own class has treated me I have redefined my opinion of what it means to be nobility. You were my friend when I had none. I hope you still are,” Lilly said sheepishly.
“Of course, Lilly. I’m sorry about calling you a ladybird. If Lord Redwick had spirited me away I probably would have fallen right into bed with him.”
“Laura! You just said he was a devil?”
“Ah, but he’s a handsome devil.” Laura winked.
“You’re terrible, but I forgive you.” Lilly smiled to herself. After all, that very thought had crossed her mind many times, and she often dreamed about doing that very thing.
“Can I ask you something, Lilly?” Laura asked timidly.
“Sure.”
“Why were you hiding?”
“Well...”
“It’s all right if you don’t want to tell me, if it’s too hard to talk about.”
“No, it’s fine. My father died and my mother remarried a merchant named Mr. Hollow. He’s wealthy but very low class—I don’t mean poor or low born, I mean he’s a bastard of the earth, lower than scum. My mother became sick and eventually I lost her too. I have a cousin who inherited the title, but no one knows where he is. My stepfather was accused of treason, and by association I became a pariah and had to hide. It was very brutal. Suddenly everyone I knew pretended not to know me. It was like I had a disease. I had to leave, hide from the scandal and all the people trying to take advantage of it and of me. I escaped with my cook Ellie. She’s the closest to family I have left that I can reach, and I don’t even know where to find her or contact her. She raised me in the kitchens of my parents’ manor. She was there for me when no one else had time to love a little girl.”
“You don’t have any siblings?
“No.”
“I’m sorry, love.” Laura hugged her tightly.
“It’s all right. I’m discovering I am stronger than I ever thought I was, and there are many people worse off than I am.”
“That doesn’t mean your troubles don’t hurt just as much.”
“Thanks, Laura.” Lilly smiled blandly.
“I have to go, but I’m always around if you need to talk.” Laura hugged Lilly tightly again and then returned to the kitchens.
Lilly continued to stroll through the seemingly endless garden paths, her brow furrowed in thought. She didn’t hear the footsteps until they were almost upon her, and when she looked up she saw Dominic striding towards her, his attention focused on the piece of foolscap in his hand.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, startling him before he nearly mowed her down.
“What? Oh—ah—nothing you should concern yourself with.” He stopped just before her and smiled. "An entire earldom and all its tenants have been dropped into my lap. I’m just a little overwhelmed. I have been buried in correspondence since our arrival and I don’t foresee digging myself out for a few more days.”
“Oh. Is there anything I can do?”
“Would you like to be the Earl of Redwick?” Dominic smirked.
“Come now, haven’t you been trained to handle all this since you were a boy?”
“Actually no, my elder brother was to inherit, not me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry then. Well, I won’t keep you from your work.”
“Not even if I beg?”
“Are you asking me to distract you?”
“Lilly, you always distract me. I am asking for a reprieve. For one afternoon I would like to stare at you and not a piece of vellum with scribbles on it.” He smiled charmingly.
Lilly blushed. He was at his most dangerous when he smiled at her like that. It completely scattered all logical thought and made her want to do wild and reckless things.
“I don’t know what to say, my lord.” She looked away from his amused eyes. He knew how to toy with her. “I don’t know if that would be appropriate.”
“All I’m asking is for the pleasure of your company. How about a picnic or a gallop through the hillside, a walk to the summerhouse...?”
“I have not yet been to the summerhouse.” Lilly’s eyes brightened.
“A picnic in the summer house it is, then. I do feel as if I have neglected you, Lilly. I’m sorry. You are a guest in my home and I have completely ignored your needs.”
“Think nothing of it. I have had a wonderful time. It’s been a long time since I have had such peace and quiet, my lord.” Lilly sighed blissfully.
“My lord?”
“Dominic.” Lilly giggled. She couldn’t help it. His humor was infectious when he was being so playful.
His gaze lowered to her mouth and his eyes smoldered. Lilly swallowed her giggles, and they turned to flutters in her stomach. She couldn’t breathe when he looked at her like that. She knew he wanted to kiss her, and her wanton heart wanted him to do it.
“A picnic then,” she said distractedly. “Shall I meet you here in fifteen minutes? I will need to fetch my shawl.”
“Of course. I will have Mrs. Fields make a basket for us.”
Lilly smiled and turned away. She headed straight for the terrace doors and willed herself not to look back. This was a very dangerous game they were playing. Without the watchful eyes of society, good behavior was becoming very difficult, especially when society had already turned its back on her. Lilly was wanting things she had never wanted before, feeling things she had never felt, and her heart was willing to indulge some of those feelings.
This was too dangerous. They needed distance from each other, not a picnic in the summerhouse. She would just have to find a way out of it. Lilly hated being such a coward, but as she sat at her room’s escritoire and penned the note, she couldn’t see any other option. She summoned Jenny, and when the soft knock came she admitted her.
“Please give this note to Lord Redwick. I have a headache and will not be able to enjoy a picnic in the summerhouse in his company.”
“Yes, my lady.” Jenny quickly left on her errand.
Lilly curled up on her bed after changing into her dressing gown. If she was going to claim a headache from the sun, she might as well act the part.