“You listened to them?” said Emily. “They turned you? You, you went along with all this just to get the vial?”
Doug remained silent and avoided Emily's glare.
“Dougie boy here has decided to cooperate,” said Martin. “Haven’t you, Dougie boy?”
Doug said nothing.
Martin went up to Doug and opened his shirt. Under the fabric, Alex could see a device taped to Doug’s chest with wires running here and there. “Fortunately, we had the foresight to plant a mic on Doug. It runs to a walkie-talkie tuned into a frequency we guard.” Martin glanced at Oscar. “When we lost the ability to hear and see what you guys were up to with our other devices, Dougie here kept us clued in with his radio; it proved to be a bit hardier than the other bugs. All we had to do was wait until Doug figured out a way to get the vial.” He patted Doug on the cheek.
Doug stared straight ahead, lips pressed tightly together.
“Fred, Mike, Hank,” said Martin, “go remove the short circuits and fix whatever else you find they’ve managed to screw up.” Three suits nodded and headed into the hallway. “We’ll stay here until the power comes back on. Let’s just back up against the wall and wait.” He waved his pistol toward the wall opposite the elevator door. Alex, Richard and Doug backed up. Oscar sat in his chair, watching silently. Emily stood where she was, staring at Doug.
“That means you too, honey.” Martin pointed the gun at Emily. “And take fat boy with you.”
Emily turned her gaze to Martin, then wheeled Oscar over against the wall with the others.
“You men coil up this wire rope they put together.” Martin nodded toward several of the suits. “We’ll take it with us when we leave.”
“Doug, what happened?” asked Emily. “You didn’t fall for their bullshit, did you?” There was a heavy tone of incredulity in her voice.
Alex watched Doug without saying anything. He didn’t know what to say. Doug? Their fearless leader? Turncoat? He couldn’t get his mind around it.
A few minutes later, the suits returned and reported to Martin. “All set,” one of them said. Martin got out a small two-way radio, spoke to someone and the lights came back on. The suits closed the elevator door and motors whirred; the elevator was working again. Martin got into the elevator as soon as it arrived. “I need to make a delivery,” he said. “Give me a few minutes to get this to the lab and then I’d like to see you, Doug.” He turned to the suits. “Hank, George, stay here until I give you a call, then bring Doug to me. You other guys come with me. Bring the wires.” The elevator doors closed and Martin and the vial were gone.
“Doug,” said Emily, “why?” Still staring hard at him, she had a slight tremor to her voice as if she were only just able to control her rage. Alex half-expected a low growl to come from her.
Doug finally turned and faced her. Resolution shone in his eyes. “Emily, I’m sworn to support the laws and regulations of my country. These laws are enforced by people who have decided that Todd’s way is the best way. Who am I to argue? They have information I don’t have. If we can’t trust them, who can we trust?”
“Oh man,” said Oscar. “You think you can trust them? The system can’t be trusted. They have their own agenda that sure doesn’t include the interests of the average citizen. Haven’t you heard anything I’ve said over all the time I’ve known you?”
“I could never trust anybody whose aim was to murder billions of people!” said Alex.
“They’re the government of my country. The country I’ve sworn to serve and protect,” said Doug. There was a hint of a pleading tone to his voice. “I’ve worked for these people. They’re honorable people. They’ve been my bosses.”
“Ahhh!” said Emily, throwing up her hands. “Doug! How can you fall for this? These guys,” she waved vaguely in the direction of the elevator and what lay beyond, “have never been your bosses. They’re just managers. Our bosses are the very people that Todd and the rest are going to murder.” She paused and took a breath. “If this is so right, why don’t they put it to a vote with the people?”
“They’d never be able to see beyond their own limited self-interest,” said Doug.
“And you think Todd and the others can?”
Alex saw one of the suits put a hand up to his ear.
“Those who would die from the virus would die whether or not the virus is released,” said Doug. “At least this way, the human race will be able to survive and our culture can be preserved too.”
“So you think it’s justified to kill billions of innocent people so a few elite assholes can survive in style?” Emily clenched and unclenched her fists.
The elevator door opened to an empty car and the two suits moved toward it. One of them motioned for Doug to follow.
Doug nodded and moved toward the elevator. “I’ll talk to you later.” With that, the four of them were left alone.
“I can’t believe it,” said Emily as she shook her head. “I’ve known and worked with Doug for years. I just can’t believe it.”
Alex felt pressure in his chest. He walked over to Emily and put his arm around her shoulder. “Emily…” he said softly.
She twisted out of his embrace and stomped off down the hall.
Alex took a deep breath and felt a wave of terror wash over him that left his mouth dry. Shit! Alex thought. It’s over. We’re done. It was followed by a surge of hope. Maybe Todd would lose interest in them now that he had the virus. They sure weren't much of a threat anymore. Were they safe? No longer a target for the death squads? Alex was filled with an odd sense of relief. Whatever happened now, the struggle was over, they could relax. It was done. We did our best, and it was just not good enough, he thought.
Something down deep inside him screamed, NO! I will not give up! I will fight this to my dying breath. I must keep searching for a way, some way to stop this. He agreed with Richard. In any situation, there were many ways to succeed. Some good, some not so good. But there was only one way to fail. To give up. Until you give up, you haven’t failed, you just haven’t succeeded yet.
Alex turned toward Oscar. “Do you think they’re listening?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” Oscar grabbed at the wheels to his chair. “Who cares? It’s over. They have the vial.” His voice dropped off until it could barely be heard.
“No!” said Alex. “Don’t do that. We do not give up. You hear me? WE DO NOT GIVE UP!”
“Okay, Alex, okay.” He took a deep breath. “Can they hear us? Probably not. We’ve done some significant damage to their surveillance systems. Besides, they have what they want. My guess is they aren’t interested in us right now.” Oscar paused. “What’ve you got on your mind? Any ideas?”
“Not yet, but I’m not going to quit trying.”
“I’m with you,” said Oscar. “You know, I knew there was a reason I liked you. I’ll see what I can put together.” He looked down the hall. “What about Emily?”
“Oh, she’ll come around if we can come up with a plan,” said Alex. He turned to Richard. “You have any ideas?”
“Well,” said Richard, “whatever we do, we need to do it before they release the virus.”
Nothing like the pressure of time, thought Alex.
. . .
Richard lay down on his rumpled sheets, staring at the ceiling. Two days passed and the four of them left on floor B were ignored. They hadn’t seen or heard from Doug since he left with the suits in the elevator. Must have more pressing things to worry about, he thought. He couldn’t help but wonder what Doug was doing, though.
They did a pretty good job of destroying the cafeteria. There was nothing left to eat except some bags of chips and warm cans of soda. It took them several hours to get the attention of their captors to get more food. They had to pry open the elevator doors and drop the microwave down the shaft before they were noticed. After that, their captors left a radio so they could be called.
At least they didn’t have to worry about their plans being overheard. The problem was, they didn’t have any plans. What could they do? They talked about it - a lot. But all they could come up with were ideas that were vague and whose outcome was, at best, uncertain.
How did it come to this? Richard asked himself, staring at nothing. I was sitting on a cushion, meditating, trying to get control over my monkey mind. Everything was peace and quiet. Then, I was asked to leave and within less than a day, I get involved in a conspiracy to murder most of the human population of Earth. What kind of karma do I have?
He closed his eyes and let his mind drift. How were they going to get into the lab? Just walk up to Todd and say, “Hey, can we come see the lab? Can we have a chance to say goodbye to the virus?”
Richard's mind strayed to the conversation before the blackout. Just how much of what he thought and believed was based on Buddhism and how much of it was just what he made up in his own mind? Was there anything in what he learned about Buddhism that would help him find his way through this mess? He remembered a quote from the eighth century, CE, Indian saint Shantideva,
“Unfriendly beings are as infinite as space,
They cannot possibly all be overcome;
Yet, if I just overcome (my own) thoughts of hatred,
That will be equal to overcoming all foes.
‘Where is the leather
Which I can cover the Earth (to protect my feet)?
But, wearing a leather sandal
Is equal to covering the whole Earth with leather.
‘In the same way, it is impossible for me
To control (the happenings of) external phenomena.
But, if I simply control this mind of mine,
What is the need of controlling anything else anyway?”
Okay, the best way to control your life is to control your mind. But that wasn’t going to keep the virus from being released. Did Buddhism have nothing to offer that would help?
What else could he remember? There was something he once read by a wise Tulku,
“The Buddhist emphasis is mainly to serve the whole universe. But how can you do it? If you are like charcoal and roll around, then everything around you will be black. First, you should become a little better yourself, so you can become a better instrument to help others. How can you improve? First, you must start with yourself, first mind, then speech (designations), then body, then the relationships with the people around you. That is practical, that is common sense. Some may say with lots of noise: ‘There is social injustice somewhere and there needs to be change,’ but they do not even think to help the homeless people living next to their houses… The most important thing is not to miss the focus. If you want to become an instrument of social service and to become a help to sentient beings, first you must work on yourself, then work with the people around you, perhaps your family, friends, the people that you work with.”
Not an exact quote, but the sentiment was right. He was pretty sure working with the people around him here, especially Martin, wouldn’t get him very far.
Richard grabbed at anything he could remember that might help. In the ‘Guide To The Words Of My Perfect Teacher,’ one of his favorite texts, he remembered it said,
“First think, all beings must attain the level of perfect buddhahood. To bring this about, from this day onward until I attain buddhahood, I’d rather die than take the life of a single sentient being. I’d rather die than induce another person to kill. I’d rather die than rejoice in killing.
‘Then say to yourself, ‘Even if my life is at stake, I swear I shall never go back on this pledge.’ All this applies to taking what is not given, sexual misconduct, lying…"
Richard’s mind snapped back to the present. He was doing exactly what he predicted he would do - diddling away his time until it was too late. This they must not do! He sat upright. He would find a way they could get into the lab, or die trying.
He got off the bed, went to Emily’s room and knocked. “Get Alex and meet me in the cafeteria,” he said when she opened her door. “I’m going to get Oscar.”
Emily, at first surprised, nodded and went toward Alex’s room. “Okay, but what’s up?” she called back to him.
“I’ll explain in the cafeteria.”
Richard rolled Oscar into the cafeteria. Alex and Emily were already there. “Okay,” he said, “we go to the lab and now. Then we set off the failsafe bomb. Let's go.”
“Just how do you suggest we do all that?” asked Alex
“We don't have time to debate this and worry it to death. We just do it. Unless someone has a better idea, we tell them we'll join them.”
Alex’s shoulders slumped. “Richard, they aren’t going to believe that.”
“They will,” said Richard, “if we tell them that although we can’t take part or even condone the killing of so many, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it, we can still make a positive difference. We don’t even have to be dishonest. We won’t promise not to interfere with what they’re doing. We just volunteer to help those that survive.”
“Even if they buy it, how will that get us into the lab?” asked Emily.
“We ask to see Todd,” said Richard. “He’ll be in the lab until the virus is released.”
“But what if Todd wants to see us in his office instead of the lab?” asked Alex.
“I don’t know. Maybe we can show some scientific curiosity and ask to see the lab. We have to try something - there's no more time. Any obstacles we come across – well, we just do what we've done all along. We just wing it.” Richard shrugged. “They have the vial. What do we have to lose?”
“Alright, let's get on with it,” said Oscar. “But what do we do after we get into the lab?”
“Ah,” said Richard. “That’s another problem. But, at least we’ll be in the lab. Once there, we'll have to find some way to get the keys, activate the device, and blow the place to hell.”
Alex took a deep breath and reached for the radio. “Okay. Let's give them a call.”
“Uh, I should remind you this will almost certainly be a suicide mission...” said Richard. “We can be sure we won't harm anyone, but they don't have any such compunction.”
Alex, Emily and Oscar glanced at each other and nodded. “Let's do it,” said Oscar.
Now, thought Richard, if we can just figure out a way to set the bomb off without killing anyone. I absolutely cannot be a part of that.