The celebration for Emma and Miss Kaufmann was subdued given the events of the day. While no one had died, Aidan and two others had been injured, reminding everyone of the fragility of life on what was still the frontier.
Ty Drake had sent a wire telling Cody that the outlaws had been placed in the custody of the Army and were being held in Santa Fe to answer for crimes they had committed throughout the territory. There had been no sign of Victor Johnson, and Drake had been unable to gather any information from the gang leader.
Putting all that aside, Cody set his mind on the evening’s festivities. Lily wore a pink calico dress, and she’d pinned up her hair in a way that made him long to pull the combs holding it free and let it spill into his open hands. He had never seen her looking more beautiful—or more happy. As others congratulated her on her role in delivering Nick and Grace’s baby, she blushed and smiled in a way that made her glow. Cody stood near the refreshment table watching her, knowing she hadn’t yet realized he was there, enjoying this moment to observe her unawares.
Emma at her side, Lily fussed over Grace and the baby, making sure both were protected from the summer breeze drifting in through the open windows. At one point, she lifted the baby, showing him off to others gathered around and teasing Nick about the need to give the child a name. The image took Cody’s breath away, for what he saw was Lily holding their child—and the future he was determined to have with her.
She looked up then, and as if her gaze was pulled by an invisible cord, saw him. Her smile faltered, replaced by an expression he knew was mirrored on his face—longing, desire, love. He crossed the room, threading his way through other guests, but never taking his eyes off Lily.
“You look…” They said the words in unison and then smiled.
“You first,” she said.
“Why, Miss Lily, are you fishing for a compliment?” he teased.
She arched an eyebrow. “Forgive me, Sheriff Daniels, I was under the impression you were about to offer one.”
He found he had no patience for banter. He held out his arms to her. “Dance with me?”
She stepped toward him, and they joined other couples who swirled around the center of the dining room that had been cleared for the occasion. She looked up at him, one hand linked with his and the other resting lightly on his shoulder. She was smiling, her eyes shimmering like a deep pool of water after a spring rain. He could hardly believe his good fortune.
Nearby, Nick danced with Emma while Grace rocked the baby and looked on approvingly.
“No doubt Grace insisted Nick ask Emma to dance,” Lily said. “I do wish Aidan would realize what a jewel she is.”
“I thought he promoted her to take Bonnie Kaufmann’s position,” Cody replied.
“Oh, he knows Emma is the best choice for that. I just wish he would realize she’s also the best choice for him.”
Cody grinned. “Matchmaking, are you?”
“Grace has found happiness, and so have I. It seems only fitting that Emma should as well.”
“You’re happy, then?” He really didn’t want to talk about Grace and Emma.
The slight frown that had marred her forehead eased. She met his gaze. “I am happier than I ever thought possible,” she said softly.
He tightened his hold on her. “Let’s take a walk,” he suggested.
“Why? What’s happened?” The frown was back, and he realized his own expression had sobered, alarming her.
“Because I can’t very well kiss you the way I want to here in front of all these people, and frankly, Lily, if I don’t kiss you in the next few minutes, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
“Oh,” she said, her frown changed to a shy smile. “Well, in that case…” She linked her arm through his as they walked toward the front door.
The minute they were outside, he grasped her hand and pulled her into the shadows. It was impossible to say who made the first move. All Cody knew was that she was there in his arms, her mouth open under his, her tongue and his engaged in a dance far more satisfying than the one they’d shared moments earlier.
“Lily,” he murmured as he pressed her to the wall, allowing his body to outline hers. Suddenly, he realized that her cheeks were damp beneath the kisses he feathered over them, and he tasted tears. He stepped away. “Why on earth are you crying?”
“I could have lost you today,” she said, her voice shaking. “We might never have had the chance to…”
He held her close, his chin resting on her soft hair. “Shhh. I’m right here. I’ve already spoken to Ty Drake about one of his deputies taking over as sheriff here, and I’ve filed the papers to run for the position as territorial representative. So as soon as I know Victor Johnson is in custody and no threat to you or anyone else, we can—”
“I don’t want to wait,” she admitted.
“Lily, I can’t marry you until—”
“You mean you won’t.” Her expression was defiant.
Cody took half a step away from her. “I won’t put you in needless danger. Victor Johnson is still out there somewhere.”
She blew out a frustrated breath and leaned against him. “I know,” she murmured.
“He’s not just a threat to you, Lily. Think of what he did to Abigail and that waitress in Santa Fe. He’s dangerous, even more so now that we foiled the robbery.”
For a long moment, they were silent.
“And what if we don’t wait? What if…” she said.
He tightened his hold on her, knowing what she was suggesting. “I want you, Lily, more than you can possibly imagine. But we shouldn’t. Your reputation could be ruined.”
“Isn’t it my choice to make?” She stepped back so that she could look directly at him. “Cody, I am fully aware of what I’m suggesting. Certainly my stepfather and Victor made sure I was educated in that arena, even if it was against my will.”
“I am not those men,” Cody growled.
“I know that,” she hurried to assure him. “Don’t you understand? They only knew how to take what they wanted, and in the process, they robbed me of my ability to trust. But what I feel for you is so different from anything I’ve ever known.
“And yet, what if we marry and I find I simply can’t…that the memories of what they did are too ingrained in me to ever allow someone good and kind and loving like you…” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and her lower lip trembled. “You must think me horrible.”
“I think you are anything but horrible, Lily. You are brave and caring and scared.” He was so torn, wanting to protect her and make sure no man—especially not him—ever caused her pain again. At the same time, he wanted to show her what real love might feel like, how the act of true love might be the balm needed to erase all those painful memories. Cody wrestled with what his head told him might be a mistake but his heart begged for him to consider. “Look, ever since Jake died, things have been anything but normal for us.”
“I know,” she agreed. “It seems like maybe it’s time for a new normal. I feel like one is out there but just out of reach.”
“Honey, today was full of upsets.”
“But that doesn’t change anything. It only makes me want us to be together more.”
The door to the hotel opened, and another couple found a place in the shadows on the opposite end of the veranda.
“Come on. Let’s walk over to my office. At least there we can talk this through without worrying about being interrupted.”
She nodded.
Hand in hand, they crossed the plaza. He opened the door and allowed her to go ahead of him into the dark space. Once he’d shut the door, he was at a loss as to what he might do next. He reached for the lantern. She covered his hand to stop him.
“There’s enough light from the street,” she said as she perched on the edge of the single chair near his desk.
“I could make tea,” he offered with a nervous laugh. “Might calm our nerves.”
“Or you could kiss me,” she replied, giving him a light tap on his lips, but immediately after she did that, all pretense of teasing disappeared. “Today taught me one hard lesson—we may not have tomorrow.”
He drew her to her feet and slowly removed the combs and pins from her hair, drawing in a breath as the mass of its platinum beauty tumbled down over her shoulders. He placed the hair ornaments on his desk and cupped her cheeks in his palms. “I love you so much, Lily,” he whispered as their lips met.
The kiss was sweet and lingering, full of a new kind of curiosity. They had time, Cody thought. They had all night. And when he took her hand and led her to his bedroom, she did not protest.
* * *
Lily knew Cody’s living quarters were part of his office. Once when she’d come there to seek his help, she’d glimpsed the rumpled covers on a narrow bed. Now they stood next to that bed.
“Lily, I—”
She placed a finger to his lips to silence him. She was done talking or analyzing the right or wrong of this. She eased the suspenders from his broad shoulders and began opening the buttons on his shirt, pulling the tails free as she worked her way from top to bottom. She placed her palms flat on his bare chest, feeling the heat of his body, the thunder of his heartbeat. She traced her fingers over the hair that tapered to the waist of his trousers, then straightened and reached for the first button at the neck of her dress.
“May I?” he asked, covering her hand with his.
For an answer, she slid her hand away, leaving his touching the buttons. With agonizing slowness, he opened each one, his face half in shadow and half illuminated by light from outside the single window. Finally, he released the last button. Watching her closely, he eased the upper half of her dress from her shoulders.
She shrugged her arms free before pushing his shirt open. He let it drop to the floor as he leaned in to kiss her bare shoulders, her exposed throat. Her breasts swelled with desire, her nipples pressing against the soft linen of her camisole. It seemed only natural to kiss his nipples and then to go a step further, laving them with her tongue.
He shuddered and looped a finger through the strap of her camisole, tugging it down. She drew in a breath. He bent to kiss the swell of her breast. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pressed him to her. Through the thin barrier of fabric, she could feel the nip of his teeth, the open-mouthed kiss, and a current coursing through her lower body that cried out for him to take her to his bed.
He stepped away and closed the door separating his private quarters from his office. He continued to face the door. She stepped closer, running her hands over his back. “I want to try, Cody,” she whispered. “At least then we’ll know.”
He turned to face her. “There are ways we can be together without…”
“Teach me,” she said. “Love me,” she whispered as he lifted her and laid her gently on the bed.
His hands trembled as he lifted her skirt to pull off her shoes and stockings. He took his time, cradling her calf in his palm and leaning in to kiss her bare skin once the task was done. He sat on the side of the bed and removed his boots, then knelt before her and ran his hands over her legs, up and under her skirt to her thighs. When she thought she might explode from the desire coursing through her, he withdrew his hands, smoothed down her skirt, then lay beside her and began undoing the ribbons of her camisole. He spread the fabric, exposing her naked breasts—breasts he cupped and nipples he caressed with his thumbs.
She closed her eyes tight, thrilling to the exquisite pain of it all. She struggled to sit up, and he took it as rejection, moving away at once and turning to face the window.
“It’s all right,” he said. “I understand.”
“Look at me, Cody.” He glanced at her over his shoulder. She stripped off her camisole and began unfastening her skirt. She stood by the bed and let both it and her petticoat fall to the ground. He was facing her now, and when she unbuttoned her pantaloons and eased them down her legs, she heard him suck in a breath.
She had gone too far—he would see her as some wanton woman and be disappointed. Lily turned back to the bed and reached for the quilt to cover her nakedness. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He covered the chasm between them in two steps, unbuttoning the fly of his trousers as he did. Gently, he pulled the quilt away and dropped it back on the bed. His eyes never left her as he stepped out of his trousers and kicked them aside. Cody lifted her, one arm under her hips urging her to wrap her legs around him. She felt the fullness of his erection pressing against her through the fabric of his undergarment and wanted to cry out with her desire for him.
Clinging to one another, they toppled onto the bed, their legs intertwined.
“Lily?” His mouth was next to her ear, his breath warm. “Whatever we do from this moment, know you can stop at any time. If it’s too much—”
For an answer, she ran her finger down the center of his chest until she reached the band on his undergarment. She did not stop. Instead, she tunneled her hand under the fabric until she could hold him. When he startled like a newborn colt, she started to pull away, but he rolled toward her instead of away. His fingers threaded their way between her thighs, until he was touching the very core of her need.
They both froze, their eyes open—his seeking permission, hers pleading for him not to stop whatever this new sensation was.
He struggled out of his undershorts and straddled her. Tenderly, he positioned her bent legs to either side of him. She felt the tip of his penis seeking entry and grasped his bare hips, urging him on, giving him permission—and still he hesitated.
“Cody, yes,” she whispered.
Slowly, he eased into her. Surely, her body was too small to hold him! And yet she believed with all her heart that their bodies were meant to fit together in this way. She smothered a cry when something inside her seemed to give way, allowing him full entry. Any hint of pain was erased as he began to move within her, and instinctively, her body responded.
And then without warning, he pulled out and rolled to his side, his breathing labored.
“It’s all right,” he managed, but he turned away from her, and for one awful moment, she felt rejected and used. She pulled the covers tight around her and started to sit up. But then he was facing her again, stroking her shoulder. “Lily, it’s not what you think. Please, Lily, look at me.”
She was fighting tears of humiliation, but she turned to him, tossing her hair away from her face. “There’s no need for apologies, Cody. Here we thought I might be the one to reject you—”
He let out a growl of pure frustration. “I pulled out because I don’t want you getting pregnant before we can marry.”
Her heart skipped a beat as she realized this man—this incredible man—had foregone his own pleasure to protect her.
“Oh,” she said, the only response she could find. All the tension seeped out of her.
“Will you stay tonight?” Cody’s hand rested on her shoulder.
“Maybe it would be best if I went home.”
“Please stay, Lily. I’ve lost count of the nights I’ve spent lying in this bed alone, staring at the ceiling and imagining you here beside me. And I’m talking way before we started stepping out together.”
She wanted to stay more than she’d ever wanted anything. She wanted to spend the rest of her life lying next to this man. “Maybe, if that cup of tea is still available…”
He laughed. “Wait right here.” He got up and pulled on his trousers. Moments later, she heard him in the other room, clanging the lid on the wood stove as he stoked the fire, followed by the clink of a spoon against crockery. She wrapped herself in the quilt and watched him from the doorway.
He caught her looking and grinned at her. He was shirtless and barefoot as he puttered around gathering a tin of loose tea and a bowl of sugar while the water heated, and she was pretty sure no man had ever looked more desirable.
“Cody? I’ve been thinking.”
“I’ve discovered that can be dangerous when it comes to you,” he teased.
“I’m serious. I’m sure Victor is long gone and can’t hurt us or those we care about anymore. What if we don’t wait—to be married, I mean?”
He continued pouring steaming water into a teapot, then set the kettle back on the stove and turned to face her. He was frowning. “Letting Victor get away will not end this, Lily. He’ll always be there. Maybe not physically, but we both know he had something to do with Jake’s death. And we both know what he did to you. Not to mention the other girls he’ll take advantage of.”
She knew he was right. Justice for Jake had been the one thing driving her for weeks now. Letting Victor walk away from that was simply not possible.
She took the mug of tea Cody offered and headed back to his bedroom. She sat on the side of the bed, pulling the quilt around her. When Cody followed, he tucked the cover more securely around her before pulling up a chair and straddling it. “Are you all right?” he asked, watching her sip her tea. “I mean, do you understand how much I wanted…”
“Cody, I’m very all right,” she assured him.
He ducked his head, suddenly shy.
They drank their tea, the silence between them feeling as normal to Lily as if they’d shared such moments countless times.
“Cody, how can we stop Victor? How can we prove he was behind Jake’s death and the robbery and everything else?”
“We don’t do that, Lily. I’ll handle it. You need to stay out of it.”
“No.”
His head shot up, and he scowled at her. “No? Lily, I can’t be worried about your safety at the same time as I’m tracking Johnson.”
“I want to help. And I will, with or without your permission.” She set her mug on the floor and rummaged around for her undergarments. It was difficult to make her point when she was wearing nothing but a quilt. She found her camisole and put it on. While tying the ribbons, she felt Cody watching her.
“Stop that,” she said without meeting his gaze.
“Can’t,” he replied as he set his mug on the floor next to hers and stood. He was giving her that devilish grin that was a surefire way to get her heart racing. “Need some help?”
When she risked a glance his way, he was holding her pantaloons. She snatched them away from him and put them on. “You’re impossible,” she muttered, but she couldn’t help but smile when next he held up her petticoat.
“Put your shirt on,” she grumbled.
He chuckled and did as she asked. She finished dressing and went to his desk to retrieve her pins and combs to put her hair back up. Cody came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “Leave it down,” he said as he kissed the nape of her neck.
“I have to get back to the hotel.”
“I know, but we’ve got a little time.”
She turned to face him, leaving the combs and pins on his desk and wrapping her arms around his neck. “If anyone had told me I would fall in love with a lawman, I would have laughed,” she said.
“And yet?”
“And yet here I am,” she murmured as their lips met. In spite of everything she’d endured in the past, her future with Cody promised to make up for it all. “Cody, promise me you’ll do everything possible to prove Jake’s innocence.”
He was still holding her close, kissing her temples and forehead. “I’ll do my best, Lily, but we both need to face the fact that Jake may have been involved at the beginning. Perhaps he had a change of heart.”
“Well, he didn’t have to die for a change of heart. What if he was trying to do the right thing? What if he wanted only to protect me?” As was always the case whenever she thought of Jake, Lily felt sadness overwhelm her. She had taken his friendship and devotion to her for granted. “I just want to do whatever I can to make sure Jake rests in peace and his good name is restored.”
“I know. All I ask is for you to let me do my job—a job that may involve my having to leave town for a while. Promise me you won’t make any moves on your own while I’m gone.”
She looked up at him. “You’re going after Victor?”
“I’m going to Santa Fe to see what I can find out from the gang members being held there. Depending on what they have to say, I will follow the trail wherever it may lead. But I can’t do any of that if I’m worrying about you, so promise me—”
“I’m hardly likely to—”
“Promise,” he growled.
She bit her tongue, knowing he was right. She would not add to his danger by causing him unnecessary worry. “I promise,” she said.
He let out a long breath of relief and picked up her hairpins. “Time to get you back to the hotel.” He placed the pins in her hand.
She twisted her hair into a knot and stabbed it with the pins. “I don’t want to go,” she admitted.
“If I could, I would keep you here all night, but you were right earlier, and we both know it can’t happen.” He touched each button on the front of her dress. “But when I return…”
“When you return, Sheriff Daniels, it had better be with the intent of marrying me as soon as possible.”
He grinned. “That’s a promise I can make—and keep,” he said as he placed his hand against her back and steered her toward the door. Just before opening it, he pulled her close and kissed her, a kiss that left them both breathless.
“I guess that’ll have to hold me until I get back,” he said. He reached for the door and then once again turned back. “One more thing,” he said. “Next time we make love? Nothing will stand in our way, okay? No Victor, no curfew, and definitely no need to be careful. Agreed?”
He looked so intense that all Lily could do was smile. She brushed his hair away from his forehead. “Agreed,” she said. And when he turned for the third time to open the door, it was Lily who stopped him. “You know that kiss? The one that’s supposed to last us?”
He grinned. “Not enough?”
“Not by a long shot,” she said as she stood on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his neck.