Reggie squirmed in her seat, not even Bert’s fire engine red glasses, complete with flame details, was enough to distract her from her discomfort. She and Sophia were meeting for the first time with the four other design team cochairs, and none of them looked happy to see Reggie.
After years of dirty looks and under the breath comments, Reggie’s skin should be thick as alligator hide, but the jabs always found her tender spots. Perhaps because she was as sensitive to the association with her father’s misdeeds as everyone else seemed to be. The moment Sophia sat down and smiled at her, Reggie felt her chest loosen. What was it about Sophia’s presence that set her at ease? Wasn’t she supposed to be scared of politicians? To her mind they were the monsters children should fear, not imaginary things in closets and under beds. She mentally rolled her eyes at herself. She was learning generalizations only worked until you attempted to apply them to an individual. Was Sophia proof the job description didn’t stipulate duplicitous intent?
“Hi, you.” Sophia leaned close as she pulled out her notes. “Everyone looks thrilled to see us. Do you think they have a hang-up about politicians too?”
“Probably. You guys are the worst. I’m sure they’ve never heard of the Northrups. It was sunshine and rainbows before you walked in.”
“It’s great to get the six of you in a room together. I thought we should meet at roughly the midpoint of our time as part of the design team and start to scaffold the structure of our future proposals.” Bert pushed his glasses up his nose, then shuffled papers in front of him.
“The governor wants all of our recommendations compiled and presented in a written report, right?”
One of the other cochairs, Reggie thought his name was Jackson, emphasized his words with aggressive finger taps on the table.
Bert nodded and looked as if he was going to speak but was cut off.
“That’s not all she wants though, right? She asked for specific legislation. She asked you, Representative Lamont, to provide her with specific legislation, right?” Jackson looked like he might rupture something if he kept up the intensity of his stare.
It was subtle, but Reggie saw Sophia tense. She wanted to reach out and take her hand, but that wasn’t appropriate here.
“She did, didn’t she?” Jackson pointed at Sophia and then tapped the table again.
All eyes were on Sophia.
“I’m not sure what you’re alluding to, but the governor and I have certainly discussed her excitement and support for the work we’re doing here.” Sophia’s expression was bland.
Reggie might not like politics, but she’d always admired how so much or how little could be said in a few words.
“I know you don’t usually write your own bills, so I want to be involved in crafting this one. Our team has put in a lot of work and I don’t want to insult you, but your reputation doesn’t scream progressive. My team is looking for generational change.” Another cochair, Francis, leaned toward Sophia with his voice raised.
“I always welcome citizen involvement in government.”
“Will you commit to bringing our legislation to a vote?” Jackson was leaning back in his chair with his hands knitted behind his head.
Bert held his hands out and patted the air. “Perhaps we can get back on track. Legislation is, believe it or not, outside the scope of the design team. The governor was clear in her expectations for this group. We are to provide recommendations and deliver them to her. What she plans to do with those recommendations is up to her. The fact that we have a sitting representative on the design team is irrelevant, and quite honestly, it is unfair to expect her to sponsor something on our behalf.”
Sophia held up her finger asking Bert for a moment. “I can’t commit to more than a fair evaluation of any bill that crosses my desk. I can’t agree to something I haven’t read. Something not even drafted yet, in fact.”
Jackson rolled his eyes. “Of course not. It might upset someone if you stuck your neck out and took a position. You call yourself a moderate, but from where I’m sitting, you lack conviction. You’re a cowardly pu—”
Reggie jumped to her feet, and even without the uniform became Officer Northrup. “Do not speak to her like that.”
“Or what?” Jackson took his feet off the table and sat up in his chair, staring her down.
“I’m happy to show you if you’d like to continue to be a disrespectful asshole.” Reggie clenched her fists.
“Go ahead. Then you can get thrown out of here like you deserve. You shouldn’t have been allowed to join in the first place. Who knows what kind of shady shit you’re doing behind our backs.”
Reggie started forward, but Sophia’s hand on her shoulder stopped her. She turned and got lost in Sophia’s eyes. The kindness and caring she found there melted her anger. As long as Sophia was on her side, she could handle the rest.
“Enough!” Bert’s face was as red as his glasses. “You six are supposed to represent the best of your teams. I have half a mind to boot you all out and invite the first six people that walk past the door. They’d likely comport themselves better than this. Five minutes and we come back and get to work. I expect better from everyone.”
Reggie saw a lot of averted gazes and deep interest in spots on the floor. They should be embarrassed at the way they’d treated Sophia. She got up and headed for the door. She needed a few minutes to clear her head. She stomped to the windows that overlooked the city. The view was stunning so high up. She put her forearm against the glass and leaned her head on her arm. Why did crap like what the cochairs had slung around still get to her, after all these years?
No, that wasn’t it, not really. She’d had far worse thrown her way over the years, and although it was like poking an old wound, she could shrug it off for the most part. If she was being honest, it wasn’t what they’d said to her that was boiling her bowels. She still wanted to knock out Jackson’s teeth for the way he’d spoken to Sophia. He shouldn’t speak to any woman that way, but especially not Sophia. She was remarkable, and kind, and brilliant, and more impressive than he’d ever be.
The more she perseverated the more her innards felt like a firecracker waiting for a spark. So much for coming out to cool off.
Someone put a hand on her shoulder. She spun around, already halfway from zero to sixty with her foot on the confrontation accelerator.
“It’s just me.” Sophia slid her hand down Reggie’s arm. “I come in peace.”
“I hope I didn’t make it worse for you in there.” Reggie hooked her pinkie finger around Sophia’s.
“You know I can take care of myself, right?” Sophia jostled their joined hands until Reggie looked at her. “But I didn’t mind watching you scorch the earth and threaten everyone in the room to defend my honor. I’m sorry I didn’t jump on the table and start breathing fire when they went after you.”
“Bert beat you to it. I could tell you were loosening your heels.”
“Of course, better traction on top of a desk when you’re barefoot.”
Reggie looked down at their joined little fingers and up at Sophia’s soft, welcoming gaze. She really wanted to kiss her, badly, deeply wanted to kiss her, but now was not a good time to announce to the world that Sophia Lamont had a thing for the Northrup heir.
“You ready to go back in?” Reggie let Sophia’s finger go and shoved her hand in her pocket. “They’re probably done talking about us. We’ve given them long enough.”
“Don’t sell us short, we’re plenty interesting to fill up more than the time we’ve allowed, but let’s not give them the pleasure.”
Reggie turned toward the conference room but Sophia pulled her back. They held eye contact for a long time, standing inches from each other, Sophia’s hand bunched in Reggie’s shirt. Finally, after Reggie was sure her nerve endings had worked themselves into retirement, Sophia leaned in and kissed Reggie’s cheek.
“No matter what happens when we go back in, I have your back. You belong at that table. You belong next to me. Our team voted for both of us to be here. They say I lack conviction and won’t fight for anything? I’ll fight for that. I’ll fight for you.”
Reggie’s heart and stomach were beating and flipping and fluttering so wildly she wasn’t sure which was making sure she stayed alive and which was cuing her that Sophia might pose a threat to her preconceived notions of the perfect partner. It didn’t seem to matter to her internal reference systems that Sophia’s speech had been about the design team.
It could have been about the weather or Reggie’s right to put pickles on her ice cream and she was certain she’d have reacted the same way. It was the look on Sophia’s face and in her eyes as she said she’d fight for her that was turning Reggie inside out.
“Are you coming?” Sophia was almost to the door and looked confused.
Didn’t Sophia know what she’d done to her with that speech? How was a woman supposed to get her feet moving after something like that?
Sophia smiled as if she knew why Reggie’s feet were glued to the floor. That smile turned out to be all the motivation she needed to get rolling again.
“I’m coming.”
The temperature in the room was as chilly as when they’d left, but now there was a heavy fog of petulance. Reggie was curious what Bert had said to the others in their absence.
“Welcome back, you two.” Bert was back to his peppy self. “We’re going to walk through the major proposals coming out of our teams. Prevention is going to kick us off.”
Francis and a young White woman named Colby were the cochairs of the prevention team. The work coming out of their group was focused on children, grades twelve and younger. They were particularly focused on early childhood education, family behavioral health support, and incorporating substance abuse prevention education into public school curricula.
“We have a gentleman on our team who would love some of these proposals. He’s very interested in educating young people about the dangers of substance use.” Reggie managed to keep her tone neutral as she mentioned Gerald’s favorite proposal.
Reggie looked at Sophia who was clearly trying not to laugh. Gerald hadn’t stopped harping on the Scared Straight idea since the first meeting.
The treatment team, cochaired by Jackson, who looked to Reggie like a spoiled White frat boy, and a Black woman, Geraldine, who said she’d recently retired as principal of one of the local elementary schools, were next.
They brought up a wide variety of proposals from mobile needle exchanges and drug counselors to transitioning detox programs to methadone or buprenorphine induction programs for opioid users. The idea of involuntary civil commitment to treatment was mentioned as well. From the sound of it, the treatment group brought a lot of ideas to the table and debated them together. They hadn’t split off into smaller groups, and Geraldine said more than one meeting got heated.
Bert clapped his hands when Geraldine and Jackson finished their update. “Wonderful. I’m invigorated hearing about the progress you all have been making in your teams. Sophia and Reggie, why don’t you cap us off? Then we’ll discuss what I’m going to need from each of you as cochairs as we move closer to the end of our time together.”
“Our team has broken off into smaller subsets to work on specific topics related to drug policy. Reggie and I, for example, are working on policy changes to make access to treatment less burdensome.”
Reggie tried very hard not to stare with moony eyes at Sophia while she talked. They’d been on one date and Reggie felt like a lovestruck teenager. Had it really been that long since she’d been interested in anyone that she’d reverted all the way back to the all-consuming crush?
“Thus far, some of the policy changes that have been proposed include decriminalization of a subset of substances, mandatory law enforcement trainings, a more robust and easily accessible prescription database so a prescribing physician in any system can check recent opioid or pain management scripts, and a supervised injection site.” Sophia tapped her pen on her notebook as she spoke.
“That last one is dead in the water since you killed it,” Francis muttered under his breath.
Reggie bristled, but Sophia subtly shook her head.
“I appreciate all the power you’re tossing my way, but I’d urge you to brush up on your Civics 101. The power of government doesn’t reside in a single individual, and if it did, I doubt anyone would choose a freshman state representative from my district, but I’m flattered you think so highly of me.” Sophia inclined her head at Francis.
“Which of those proposals are you putting forward?” Geraldine had her hands folded on the table, but there was no malice in her eyes.
Reggie wasn’t sure what to do with her hands and shoved them in her lap to keep from balling them into fists while she talked. “We’re still collecting data before mapping out our recommendations. Treatment access in prison is an obvious place for reform. Diffusion of resources has come up repeatedly in our discussions. Having one location isn’t enough to reach everyone who needs help.”
Geraldine looked satisfied with Reggie’s answer even if everyone else’s expression was still guarded. It wasn’t her problem to remove the sticks from their asses about her being at the table. Worrying about them was a waste of precious time.
“Friends, wonderful.”
Bert’s enthusiastic energy, if harnessed, was enough to power a glittering ball of dazzling sparkle suspended over an all-night dance party.
“As we move to the final phase, as cochairs, the six of you will be responsible for writing the recommendations for your team after consensus is reached. Then the six of you here will have to work out the format and structure of the final document, which will be sent to the governor. I can’t wait to move toward our finished product.”
As if by agreement, Reggie and Sophia both lingered as the others packed their belongings and one by one headed for the door. They were the last two in the conference room by the time they made their way to the door. They waited for the elevator in silence. Reggie wanted to say something but felt tongue-tied. Why did her words and feelings sometimes flow so easily and other times feel locked away, far out of reach?
“The other night, in your truck. Wait, that sounds like it’s going somewhere it’s not. The other night at dinner, I had a good time.” Sophia rubbed her hands together then wiped her palms on her pants. “A great time, actually. What I guess I want to ask is, will you—”
“Yes, I’ll go out with you again. That was what you were going to ask, right?” Reggie took Sophia’s hand and ran her thumb over her knuckles.
She brought Sophia’s hand to her lips and kissed it lightly.
“Of course it was. Why did I get so nervous asking you that?” Sophia touched her hand where Reggie had kissed and smiled. “I’d love to go out again.”
They rode the elevator down in a more companionable silence. On the sidewalk outside Reggie didn’t want to part ways and admit the evening was coming to an end.
“On our next date I’m picking the place.” Sophia inched closer.
“As long as you’re there I’ll be happy.”
Reggie was distracted by the way the setting sun was casting warm light around Sophia’s dark brown hair, making it look surrounded by a ring of fire.
“I like the way you look at me.”
Reggie stopped appreciating the view and caught Sophia’s eye. “How do I look at you?”
“Like I matter to you. Like I’m beautiful. Like you want to know what I’m thinking.” Sophia adjusted her suit jacket while she talked. “Like you see me.”
“A very nice summary. But you should take a look at the people you pass. Doesn’t everyone look at you like that?”
“Good night, Reggie.” Sophia chuckled.
“Good night, Sophia.” Reggie took a few excruciating backward steps away from her.
Sophia looked conflicted, but the look was fleeting. She followed Reggie and enveloped her in a tight hug.
The hug caught Reggie off guard, although her body didn’t delay its response to Sophia once again pressed against her. “I’m not complaining, but isn’t this dangerous for you? Being seen hugging me, I mean.” She hated that the words had come out, but they were true and she didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize Sophia’s reputation.
She hugged Reggie tighter. Reggie wrapped her arms around Sophia, returning the embrace.
“It’s what I want and there shouldn’t be backlash because I hugged you in public. If you’re lucky someday I might even kiss you where the world can see.”
Reggie groaned and playfully pushed Sophia out of her arms. “You can’t say things like that when you’re plastered all over me. I have a delicate constitution.”
Sophia’s big, infectious laugh echoed out across downtown. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now go, before I insist on starting our second date now. I have to be up early and I’m cranky if I don’t get enough sleep. Rodrigo will come find you and yell at you if it’s your fault I’m a grump.”
“That doesn’t sound like something I want. I’m leaving now, but I want it on the record that you’re making it very hard on me.”
“You and your delicate constitution. So noted. Good night, Reggie.”
Reggie managed to walk away, but not without looking back more than once. Each time Sophia was waiting with a wave and a smile. The feelings tingling through her toes, swirling throughout her stomach, fluttering in her chest, and squeezing her brain, felt foreign. So foreign in fact that it took the entirety of the walk back to her truck and the drive home until she recognized what she was experiencing. She was happy.
How long had it been since she could say that? She thought of calling Ava but decided to keep a tight hold of the feeling for the night. What if she described it to someone else and it disappeared? Was it a fleeting experience or something she could build on? Questions sparked and danced with the newly identified emotions, making for a surprising bouquet of possibility. The problem with untapped possibility was that the line between success and failure was razor thin. Could Reggie navigate it? Since her father’s fall from grace, she’d never felt she regained her balance and this was a tightrope she didn’t want to fall from.