CHAPTER 10: WHAT KEY UNLOCKS HAPPINESS?
“WHAT IS THE MATTER with the world?” asked Welsh minister Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899–1981). “Why . . . war and all this unhappiness and turmoil and discord amongst men? . . . There is only one answer to these questions—sin. Nothing else; it is just sin.”[1]
We commonly blame the world’s suffering and unhappiness on lack of education or resources. If only we knew more or had more, everything would be fixed.
No.
Our most basic problem is just . . . sin. First our own, then the rest of the world’s.
Puritan clergyman Stephen Charnock (1628–1680) wrote, “Though the fall be the cause of all our misery, yet [recognizing] it is the first step to all our happiness.”[2]
There are paradoxical truths surrounding sin and forgiveness. On the one hand, these things are true of those who have put their faith in Jesus:
- There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)
- As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12, NIV)
On the other hand, though we are forgiven of our past sins, including some we don’t remember, we are called upon to confess our sins as we become aware of them: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
It may seem confusing that we must continue to confess recent sins in order to experience new and fresh forgiveness. But while we have a settled once-and-for-all forgiveness in Christ, we also have a current ongoing relationship with him that is hampered by unconfessed sin.
While the Prodigal Son was fully forgiven and welcomed home by his father, when he sinned against him a week later, he needed to acknowledge that offense also in order to keep the relationship clean and strong.
The good news is that it’s easier to be restored to a positive relationship with God than with any other being. As difficult as this is to grasp, when we do, it’s happy-making in the extreme.
God is the holiest being in the universe, meaning that his standards are infinitely higher than any creature’s. It would be easy to conclude, then, that God would be more prone than anyone else to hold our offenses against us. Yet the opposite is true. Who else will forgive us of everything, absolutely and always?
It’s not the sinless God but sinful people who sometimes refuse to forgive. Nothing we’ve done or ever will do can surprise God or cause him to change his mind about us. No skeletons will fall out of our closets in eternity. He has seen us at our worst, and he still loves us. Arms wide open, he invites our confession and repentance, which he always meets with his grace and forgiveness.
How secure are we in God’s love? Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10:27-28).True happiness can come only in realizing sin, admitting it, and seeking the only solution—the forgiveness of Jesus based on his redemptive work. In forgiveness alone we can have relational oneness with God and, hence, enduring happiness.
Satan Lies about Happiness
The devil hates God’s happiness and ours.
Satan forfeited forever his own happiness, and he bitterly hates us—the objects of God’s love. Since he’s committed to making us just as miserable as he is, the devil tempts us toward what will dishonor God.
His lies convince us we’ll find happiness in things that ultimately make us miserable. After doing this for thousands of years, he’s remarkably good at this deception. Jesus said of Satan, “When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44, NIV).
The devil specializes in catching us on the baited hook of pleasure. The first hit of a drug or the thrill of illicit sex seems so good in the moment. Then the very thing that brings us a taste of joy rots in our mouths and robs us of true and abiding joy. Sin is the ultimate killjoy.
To sin is to break relationship with God. Since our connection to God is our connection to happiness, sin is the biggest enemy of happiness. And that makes forgiveness its greatest friend. Confession reunites us with the one from whom happiness flows. No wonder Satan relentlessly tries to enslave us to sin, then urges us to deny sin and refuse to recognize and confess it.
Since God is the source of happiness and the creator of our capacity and desire for happiness, and Satan is the greatest hater of happiness in the universe, Christians who spend their lives sourly sniffing out happiness and trying to squelch it should ask themselves, Whose side am I on?
Feelings of Guilt Can Be Good
Confession changes everything—for the better.
I received an e-mail from a young man in college who had engaged in immorality. His despair was palpable. Of course, an unbeliever might suppose his misery was due to unnecessary guilt feelings. But in this case, these feelings were accurate indicators of genuine guilt.
This young man might feel temporarily happier if he denied his guilt. Likewise, someone jumping from a plane, not realizing his parachute is defective, can be temporarily exhilarated as he falls. But the moment he understands his true condition, he’ll be terrified. If he has a backup parachute, his realization will serve him well.
Likewise, if this young man, overwhelmed with guilt, repented and embraced Christ’s forgiveness, the crushing feelings of guilt that brought him to repentance would be God’s grace to him—his parachute and only hope. Our God-given consciences are his gift to us, and when we don’t repent of sin, our consciences are seared (see 1 Timothy 4:2).
We see a similar truth described in Proverbs 28:13: “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy” (NLT).
Confession Sets Us Free
Psalm 32, consisting of just eleven verses, is one of the saddest and happiest passages in all of Scripture. Here David sang about the misery of sin and the liberating happiness of confession and forgiveness.
David chose the sin of adultery with Bathsheba and subsequently murdered his loyal soldier Uriah to cover up his sin. He did what Satan convinced him would make him happy. What he found instead was abject misery.
Psalm 32 recounts David’s heartfelt repentance, but before he describes his sin and misery, he is beside himself with joy. The psalm begins not with his sin but with something far greater still—God’s forgiveness:
Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Happy are those to whom the LORD imputes no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
Only after praising God did David talk about his sin, vividly describing his physical and mental condition before he confessed and repented:
While I kept silence, my body wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
But once David came to terms with his sin and turned to God, everything changed:
Then I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not hide my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
David went on to describe his relationship with the God who delivered him from the unhappiness of guilt:
You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with glad cries of deliverance.
David finished his short song by contrasting the miseries of sin with the happiness of cleansing and forgiveness:
Many are the torments of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the LORD.
Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.
Spurgeon said, “It does not spoil your happiness . . . to confess your sin. The unhappiness is in not making the confession.”[3]
Sin Never Pays
Grasping that sin is never in our best interests clarifies many otherwise difficult decisions.
Too often we imagine we must choose between helping people do what’s right and helping them be happy. This is one of Satan’s greatest lies.
For instance, a young woman I knew believed that abortion takes the life of an innocent child, but because she loved her friend, she was going to drive her to the clinic to get an abortion. She told me, “That’s what you do when you love someone, even if you disagree.”
I asked, “If your friend decided to kill her mother and had a shotgun in hand, would you drive her to her mother’s house?”
Eyes wide, she responded, angrily, “Of course not!”
But other than legality, what’s the difference? Too often, in the name of love, we assist people in taking wrong actions which, because they’re wrong, will rob them of happiness. We may congratulate ourselves for being “loving,” but what good does our love do if our actions encourage and facilitate someone’s self-destruction?
People imagine they are showing love to friends when they provide an alibi to their parents, facilitate an adulterous relationship, lie to a teacher or boss, create a distraction as they shoplift, or cover for them as they take drugs. But true friends don’t enable and empower their friends to sin. They know that’s not love, because it contributes not to their rescue and redemption but to their destruction.
God tells us the truth about what will make us happy. Our ultimate happiness hinges on whom we choose to believe—the devil who hates us or the God who loves us.
Forgiveness Is Powerful
Forgiving others affects our own forgiveness as well as our happiness.
Scripture instructs us, “Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you” (Colossians 3:12-13, NASB).
Christ tells the story of a servant who owes his king millions—a debt his ruler freely forgives. But when that servant refuses to forgive the debt of a fellow servant who owes him much less, the king says, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” (Matthew 18:32-33).
The king delivers the man to the jailers until he can pay back his entire debt.
Jesus issues this sober warning: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
To say the least, God takes our failure to forgive seriously! There’s no sin that Christ didn’t die for, so there’s no sin that we, in his strength, can’t forgive. (That said, sometimes we must be realistic and exercise tough love.)
We may not forget all the facts of someone’s offense, but we do not have to dwell on them. We must bury the sins of others, as God has buried ours.
The prophet Micah said to God, “You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19, NIV).
Spurgeon said, “While we are young, perhaps we are foolish enough to look elsewhere for happiness, but when we grow old and cares and sorrows increase, happy, indeed, are we if we have the happiness that comes from pardoned sin!”[4]
When we extend to others the forgiveness God has extended to us, not only do we receive happiness, we become conduits of happiness, spreading it wherever we go.
It Is Finished
Forgiveness and a restored relationship with God bring both relief from misery and an infusion of delight.
German Reformer Martin Luther (1483–1546) said, “Sin is pure unhappiness, forgiveness pure happiness.”[5] It’s hard to imagine a more concise and accurate statement about what will make us happy.
After enduring unthinkable agony on the cross, Jesus uttered these words: “It is finished” (John 19:30). These same words were commonly written across records of debt when paid in full. Moments later, Jesus—having done history’s hardest task—bowed his head and died.
Whether we’re completing a final class before graduating, finishing a huge construction job, or finalizing a big manuscript, saying, “It is finished,” means the end of toil and the beginning of great celebration.
What can make us happier than contemplating the end of our separation from God because of what Jesus did? By his grace, others can forgive us—and we can look at those who have sinned against us and say, because of Christ’s redemptive work, “It is finished. I hold no resentment, bitterness, or grudge. You are forgiven, and I am free!”