There was a small hill behind the manor house that afforded a view of the sea. She decided to stop there on her way to work the next day. The clouds had all but blown away but the strong, icy wind had remained. She stood up on the hill for a while, letting the wind tear at her down jacket and whip her hair about. The waves were so strong that the foam was thrown all the way up to Devil’s Rock.
She was just about to head back when she heard a sound. It came in bursts and blended with the howling of the wind, like a trumpet sending a song of lament over the bay. She thought of what Oswald had said, that it was just the wind blowing through the old foghorn. Yet she felt ill at ease as she walked to the office.
What’s more, she was late. Oswald and Benjamin were already there when she opened the door.
They were staring at each other like a couple of angry bulls and didn’t seem to notice her appearance. The air was trembling with rage. Her heart jumped into her throat, and not just because Oswald looked so furious — Benjamin was staring daggers right back. She had never seen anyone look at him that way.
‘You should be licking the floor before my feet,’ Oswald said.
‘Never. It’s not my fault that the ferry couldn’t cross.’
‘Get down on your knees!’
Oswald moved toward Benjamin until there were only centimetres between them. He shoved Benjamin in the chest with both hands, but Benjamin wouldn’t back down. His narrowed eyes were fixed on Oswald and he didn’t budge a millimetre. Oswald exploded, screaming in Benjamin’s face, attacking him like a machine gun.
‘You ungrateful little shit! You are nothing but a loser! Riding back and forth on the ferry, refusing to lift a goddamn finger for this place.’
Each time Benjamin opened his mouth, Oswald started in again.
‘Shut your mouth and listen up! I said, shut your mouth! What have you done for this place? Not a thing. You are nobody. Do you understand me? Can you get that into your thick skull?’
He shoved Benjamin again, harder this time, but Benjamin stood his ground. He was seething with an incredible rage; it was like a switch had been flipped. She had never seen Benjamin truly angry and thought it was odd that Oswald hadn’t yet attacked him with his fists. Then again, Bosse and his gang weren’t there to back him up.
She sneaked past them and slid down into her desk chair.
‘Down on the ground, or else you will jump from Devil’s Rock. Your choice.’
This challenge seemed to throw Benjamin for a loop. Sofia cast a quick glance out the window. The waves were crashing against the rocks and she could hear the endless thunder and roar of the sea all the way up in the office. Suddenly, she felt an impulse so strong that it sucked the air from her lungs: Run up and get between them. Put an end to this.
Don’t do it, Benjamin! Don’t agree to it! He’s only messing with you.
‘I’ll jump, but I won’t lick the floor.’
Idiot, idiot, you goddamn idiot!
‘Then that’s settled!’ Oswald said. ‘Sofia, the whole staff must be there. It will be a good lesson for them. I’ll come too. You can bet on that.’
He had regained control of his voice, but he was far from calm. His breathing was quick and his hand was trembling ever so slightly. But she could see it.
Then he nailed Benjamin with his gaze again.
‘Don’t think I don’t get what’s going on. I know exactly what you’re after.’
Benjamin stormed out of the office, leaving the room in awkward silence. She pretended to be rummaging through her desk drawer, where she found a few pages of his theses she hadn’t yet typed up and set to work. She felt his eyes on her for a long time and then heard the door open and shut.
He came back just before lunch.
‘Benjamin will jump after assembly,’ he said. ‘Make sure the staff sticks around until I come down.’
But he came down before assembly was over and shooed off Bosse, who was harping on as usual.
‘That can wait. Come on! The whole gang. We’re going to Devil’s Rock.’
*
The closer they got to the sea, the stronger the wind blew. The sun peeked out now and then from the clouds, which had gathered again. The sea was like a dark, foaming blanket that reached for the horizon, roaring as the wind whipped it up. Thick lines of waves rolled in toward the island and crashed against the rocks. Stones and gravel from the sea floor clattered against the rock faces, only to be pulled back out into the depths.
It’s impossible to jump right now, she thought. Not even Benjamin can manage. She prayed to a higher power, any power at all that would listen, for Oswald to change his mind. For him to realize the incredible strength of the current. And how cold was the water? Seven or eight degrees, maybe. Could a person be paralyzed by the cold and swept out to sea?
They were standing near the edge of the cliff — Benjamin and Bosse, and, behind them, Sten and Benny. In case Benjamin tried to run.
Benjamin took another few steps toward the edge and looked down at the water. He took off his shoes. Oswald nodded at Bosse, who read the short proclamation.
‘May you leave your betrayal in the depths and rise to the surface pure and full of devotion.’
And then everything went wrong. Usually, the guilty party jumped from Devil’s Rock with their hands at their sides. But Benjamin took a running start and flew over the edge like an arrow. He dived like a professional — it was strange to see him spear the middle of a wave in his uniform. But the wave didn’t toss him ahead of it; instead he vanished under the surface. At first she thought he would be fine, because his entry had looked so smooth. She scanned the water for a head popping up. But she saw nothing.
She thought perhaps he had taken a few strokes under the surface, that he wanted to mess with Oswald. So she looked a little farther out, but all she could see was more waves. She turned around and noticed the tense expressions and anxious eyes of the others. Whispers began to go through the ranks. ‘Where did he go?’ ‘Do you see him?’ They stood where they were for a moment, whispering to each other and staring down at the water. Their concern grew as hope began to fade, only to return each time a wave crested or a dark spot was seen amidst all the foam. But there was no Benjamin.
An empty space grew where he had so recently been standing on the cliff.
Then, Bosse’s voice: ‘We have to go after him! He’s not coming up!’
And Oswald, roaring: ‘No, it’s too dangerous!’
He took command. ‘Bosse, take the bike by the sentry box and ride to the harbour, fast. Make them take out the pilot boat. He might have been dragged out to sea. Benny, get all the guys and search along the rock edges down there. But watch out for the waves!’
The women drew closer together, awaiting instructions, something to do. But Oswald just shot an irritated glance their way.
‘You can go home. I’ll handle this.’
Sofia took a step forward.
‘Not on your life! I’m staying until we find Benjamin.’
The others mumbled their agreement.
Oswald shook his head, shrugged, and allowed them to stay. He fished his phone from his pocket and made a call.
Tears welled in her eyes and began to force their way out as the uncertainty became too much to handle. But it was a certainty that broke the dam. The certainty that no one could manage down there in the sea for so long. Not on a day like this. Things were truly serious now, and if she stood still much longer she would lose her mind. Others had started crying as well.
‘Let’s go down to the rocks and search for him,’ Sofia said to them. ‘We can’t just stand here.’
Oswald was busy talking on the phone and didn’t attempt to stop them. The wind carried his angry voice down the slope as they went. He was talking to Bosse.
They took off their shoes and tossed them into what became a strange, grey pile in the grass, then continued down the rocks barefoot. As she neared the water, a wave swelled and drenched her legs.
It was even colder than she’d expected, and her feet went numb almost immediately.
Soon after, she was wet up to her waist. But the others kept following her, staring out at the sea and trying to spot something — a body, an article of clothing, any sign of Benjamin.
Anna was the one who found the blazer. It was on a rock sticking up from the water. She hollered and tried to reach it but was thrown back by a wave. At first Sofia thought she had lost her footing and fallen into the water. But she had been washed onto a boulder and was sitting on it and gasping for breath. Sofia climbed over to her and made Anna hold onto her as she reached out and retrieved the blazer. She held up the wet bundle for Oswald to see. He signalled at them to come back up, so they climbed to the grassy slope. Oswald ripped the garment from her hands.
‘That idiot,’ he said. ‘That goddamn idiot.’
At first she thought she had misheard. But no, he was standing there cursing Benjamin, who was surely dead in the icy water. It must be the shock, she thought. He must be completely beside himself. She was wet up to her chest by now, and freezing — she was shivering, and her teeth were chattering. Anna was soaked head to toe.
‘Go home and change immediately!’ Oswald directed Anna. He looked at Sofia but she shook her head vehemently. Oswald walked to the precipice, gave a sharp whistle, and waved at the men, who climbed up the rocks like spiders.
‘I’ve called the police,’ he said once everyone had gathered. ‘They’re bringing divers. You can’t keep climbing around on the rocks, it’s too dangerous.’
He observed them for a moment.
‘Those of you who got wet must go and change immediately. The police will want to talk to you. It’s important for us to stick together now, so everyone knows what to say.’
The power in his voice was muted by the wind, and yet he managed to reach them.
‘This is what happened. Benjamin made a bet with someone — let’s say it was you, Benny — that he could jump from Devil’s Rock despite the wind. He made the whole staff come along as witnesses. I wasn’t here, of course. Bosse called me later. Understood?’
No one protested. Some nodded or mumbled agreement. Some didn’t say anything. Sofia had so many comments on the tip of her tongue: You’re lying! That’s not what happened! You were the one who — But not a sound came out. It all got stuck in her throat. Her word against theirs, that’s what it would be. And she was so thoroughly exhausted and chilled to the bone. She tried to force her brain to work, to analyse the situation. The police. The police would be coming. She would tell them everything. They would take her with them. She would beg and plead until they did. Best to keep her mouth shut until they arrived.
They sat in the grass in small groups, waiting. Her feet and legs had gone numb; her hands were shaking. Tears overtook her again as strange memories of Benjamin popped into her mind. How he tossed his clothes on the floor, always left the wardrobe door open. Stupid details. But it was so incredibly painful to think about them. And that goddamn foghorn. She should have known.
But her body was far too cold and tired to handle all these thoughts, and the landscape began to blur around her.
The police vessel that finally showed up seemed to move in slow motion. It took a while for them to come ashore in the waves. Oswald and a few of the guys went down to help. She squinted at the sun and tried to make out the figure stepping off the boat, a man in a uniform who took a few staggering steps onto a big rock and steadied himself on Oswald’s arm.
It was Wilgot Östling.
All sensation in her body had vanished. Something was flickering, sharp and full of static, at the edges of her vision. Everything went sparkling grey, then white, and at last her surroundings disappeared completely. She made one last attempt to brace herself and get up, but she fell back and drowned in the infinite darkness.
‘You have to promise not to say a word about this.’
That’s how I begin the conversation.
She’s all ears, and on edge, because she can hear the gravity in my voice.
‘Of course, what’s wrong?’
‘Well, I heard Mom and Dad talking. I didn’t mean to, but . . . oh, maybe it’s not that big a deal.’
‘No, tell me. Tell me!’
‘They said they were thinking of changing their will. Sara, you won’t say anything about this, will you?’
‘You know I won’t. What did they say?’
‘Well, Dad was saying that they were going to make me the main heir. You’ll only get part of it. Shit, Sara, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. But it feels like you’ve become my best friend, you know that, right?’
She nods.
To think that she doesn’t see. How stupid can you get?
I could have any friends I want. I can pick and choose.
Yet she believes me.
‘It doesn’t seem right, Sara,’ I say. ‘It seems like we should share everything. Forever, I mean.’
‘I hate them,’ she says.
‘Me too,’ I say, taking her hands. ‘It would be better if it was just you and me, wouldn’t it?’
‘You’re so nice, Fredrik.’
‘Aw, I’m only looking out for you.’
The seed has been sown. Now it just needs a little time to sprout.