The evening got off to a good start. Jenny had gone to Sue's for the afternoon, to talk to her and to play with Sam. She bathed and changed there. Mike had been doing an extra session at the hospital, he came home and changed. Jenny was in the bathroom when he arrived.
When she wheeled herself out of what used to be her bedroom, in her new lemon dress, she was thrilled to see the look on his face. There was love there, surprise and—when he looked at her rather low-cut front—just a little lust too. Good. She was wearing the green medallion he had given her, and it rested on the swell of her breasts.
'You look fabulous,' he said, the glazed expression of his eyes showing that he meant every word.
'Thank you. You don't look bad yourself. Did you buy a new suit?'
He held his arms out, pirouetted. 'I can't be entirely outdone by my gorgeous partner,' he said.
He was wearing a light grey mohair suit. It was superbly cut and emphasised his slim waist, the depth of his chest. For once he was conventional in a white silk shirt and a sober burgundy tie. He looked glorious.
'You two enjoy yourselves,' said Sue, kissing them both. 'Jenny, you're to phone me tomorrow and tell me all about it.'
'I certainly will,' said Jenny. She hoped her confident voice hid her doubts. She was also going to enjoy this evening. She was going to ensure that Mike enjoyed this evening.
And things went well. When he'd booked Mike must have told them that she was in a wheelchair as there was a parking place reserved for them right by the front door. The maitre d'hotel came to supervise them personally, ensuring that she had an easy passage to their reserved seats in the little lounge. The lady who came to take their coats whispered to Jenny that she had nursing training so if Jenny needed any assistance when going to the cloakroom she would be very happy to help.
The meal was as good as the service. This time Jenny was determined to remember what she had—in fact, she asked if she could take away a menu.
'It will be our pleasure to provide one,' said the maitre d'hotel.
As they sat in the lounge they were given a tiny tray of bonnes bouches—fragments of hot pastry with a variety of fillings. Then they were invited into the dining room—seats near the window this time, with views over the moors.
There was so much to choose from. Eventually Jenny chose duck—the restaurant was famous for it. Mike asked for sole.
'Remember the last time we came here?' Mike asked.
'I remember it well. The meal was fantastic. But I was unsure. I knew I liked you a lot—but I hardly knew you and I was a bit frightened. I'd got the wine and so on back at my flat—but only at the last minute did I manage to get the courage together to invite you in.'
'Didn't you know what you wanted?'
'I thought that perhaps I knew what I wanted. Does that make sense?'
'Not a lot,' he said cheerfully, and they both laughed.
'Anyway, this time, I can tell you in advance. I've got the same bottles of wine waiting at my flat. I've even got the same party platter that I bought last time.'
'You're just an old romantic,' he said. 'What's my chance of staying the night?'
'As they used to say—you might get lucky, boy.'
And then their first courses arrived.
For the rest of the meal they talked easily, casually, going over the hospital gossip, Mike's plans for the future and what she might do with her course at the university. They talked about their early lives—and once again Jenny wished that she could have had a brother or sister. And then it was time to go.
It was dark now. They swept down the hill, seeing the array of lights below on the Lancashire plain.
'It's quite early, no need to go straight back home,' Mike said. 'Shall we go for a little drive?' His voice was elaborately casual.
'I'd like that,' she said. She made her voice happy, she owed him that.
They drove to the coast down a little road and parked by the beach. It was lonely. There were no lights but the distant Christmas tree effect of an oil well far out to sea. There were the stars. The tide was in; they could hear the faint noise of the waves.
They sat in silence for a moment. Then he kissed her. And she knew she had to take the initiative, he mustn't start first.
Her voice was urgent. 'Mike, hold my hands, hold both of them tight. Please!'
He did as she'd asked, then said anxiously, 'Sweetheart, are you all right? You sound a bit... unsteady. You're not in any pain or anything?'
His concern hurt her even more, but she had to carry on now she had started. 'Mike, please, listen and try to understand. I know you want to talk but there's something I want to ask you first.'
'You've lost me,' he muttered.
'I want you to listen to me then it'll be your turn. This might be forward of me but I've got to say it. Mike, I love you. I can't imagine loving anyone else, imagine loving you more. I love you.'
'And I love you, sweetheart,' he said urgently. 'I love you so much that I—'
'Mike, please, stop!' Her voice was high as she interrupted him. 'I'm not sure what you were going to say and this might be even more forward of me.' She stopped and swallowed, making sure her voice was clear. 'I don't want you to ask me to marry you.'
The silence in the car was deafening. Then he said the one thing that might have made her change her mind. Almost like a little boy he said, 'But I love you so much.'
She felt the tears on her face. 'And I love you, too. But I can't... won't marry you.'
'Why not? If we love each other so much, what can stop us?'
'Me being in a wheelchair can stop us.'
'No... it... can... not.'
She had to explain. 'I think I know what you're going to say, that me being in a wheelchair doesn't matter and you love me anyway. And, Mike, I believe you. But I'd feel happier if you'd ask me when... when everything is settled. When we know for certain whether I can... whether I'll ever walk properly again.'
Now he was angry. 'Whether you walk again or not, I don't care. I love you, whatever. You're wrong to think I might change my mind. What do you take me for?'
Desperately she squeezed his hand. 'Please, don't shout, Mike, this is hard enough anyway. And I take you for the man who loves me as much as I love him. I don't think it's much to ask. Wait another three months or so and then we'll know. Ask me then. If you still want to. After all, we've not known each other too long.'
Then there was silence. After a while he took out a little box.
'I was in a bit of a hurry, I didn't have time to buy a ring. So I asked Sue. She lent me this; it was my great-grandmother's ring. I thought you might like to wear it till we got something with diamonds or something.'
He switched on the car's indoor light. Then he opened the box, took out the ring and gave it to her.
It was worn but beautiful, a thing of filigree surrounding an amethyst.
Jenny looked at it. The urge to put it on her finger was almost too much to bear. But she didn't. Instead, she handed it back to him.
'No, Mike. Wait till we know, then we can be certain. You know how much I love you. Please, don't make me say no to you again.'
She heard him breathe out, and by her side his body relaxed. She hadn't realised just how tense he had been or that she had felt his tenseness. But now it seemed to have gone. He leaned over, kissed her gently on the lips.
'I feel a certain sense of anticlimax,' he said. 'This is not the way I expected the evening to end.'
'Mike, I've had a wonderful time. Look, now we know we love each other. We've said so. That's a big step. And now you can take me home. The evening's not over, you know. And what did you say about climax?'
He shook his head. 'You're just too much,' he said. He started the car, and then stopped it. 'You've just turned me down, you know. And I'll do what you say, I won't ask you again. But I'm going to be pushing you. You know me; I’m allergic to the word no.'
She sighed. 'I'll give you the same answer. But I love you for asking.'
And then he drove off.
Their lovemaking that night was different. There was a sense of desperation about him. But finally, after calling his name in that ecstatic way that she always did, as she collapsed into his arms, he gasped that he loved her.
'And I love you, too, sweetheart,' she murmured, 'more than you can guess.' So perhaps things would be all right.
She fell asleep soon after that. Mike lay still, but awake, listening to her heavy breathing. Her hand was curled in his. Usually he slept at once but tonight was different. He couldn't get her answer put of his mind.
She wouldn't agree to marry him and he was disappointed. But he had to respect her honesty. She hadn't said no, she just didn't want to be asked yet. Until they knew exactly what her future was. Then he could ask her. And she had indicated that she would say yes.
Well, that was good but he was a man in a hurry. Certainly he'd wait as long as she liked for the actual ceremony. But he wanted her to say yes. To say yes now. He would ask her to marry him whether she was in a wheelchair or not. He didn't want her thinking that he was waiting to see if she'd recover or not.
Then something struck him. He had seen her toughness. Perhaps if she found out that she would have to stay in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, she'd refuse to marry him. Out of consideration for him!
The idea was so possible—and so unpleasant— that for a moment he was tempted to wake her, to ask her to marry him there and then. Then he smiled sourly as he remembered that Jenny was never at her best when first woken up, she'd most probably turn him down.
She had to marry him! But he'd be careful now in his approach. She had a mind of her own.
Jenny was alone when Sue rang her next morning. She and Mike had just finished a late breakfast and he had gone to her flat to change his clothes so Jenny and Sue could talk without anyone overhearing.
Sue often phoned just for a chat, but this time Jenny guessed that it was more than that. She decided to tell her friend what had happened.
'Did you know he was going to ask me to marry him?' she asked Sue.
Sue was thrown by this question. 'Well, I wondered when he asked to borrow that ring,' she said after a while. 'But, Jenny, you did say yes, didn't you? I would so much like—'
'I asked him not to ask me,' said Jenny.
'What?'
Jenny found it hard not to laugh at her friend's amazement. She tried to explain and felt that at the end Sue understood.
'But you know that he won't accept that, don't you?' Sue said. 'He's tough when he gets his teeth into something. He'll be nice and he'll keep any promise he's made, but he'll keep pushing somehow.'
Jenny sighed. 'You can't guess just how worried I am about all this,' she said. 'But I still feel I'm right. And... and... I hope everything comes out well between us.'
She knew that Sue had detected the tremor in her voice. And her friend said briskly, 'It'll come out well, don't worry. But it might not be the way you expect. Now, can I tell you my good news?'
Jenny had thought that Sue seemed even more full of life than usual. 'Go on,' she said.
'Just heard this morning. Harry's on his way home. He should be here in another week or so.'
'Sue, that's wonderful! You know I'm so much looking forward to meeting him.'
'So am I,' said Sue.
Mike came back shortly afterwards. Without saying anything, they both seemed to agree that this was not the time for further emotion. And it was pouring with rain. So they sat together, read, had a simple tea, watched TV, and went to bed early.
'I like the simple life with you,' he said.
She knew he meant it. But she wondered how much longer her life would remain simple.
Next day Mike was working away from the hospital at a clinic, but he drove Jenny in and dropped her off. She would take a taxi home. Jenny was almost glad to find that she had a pile of paperwork needing her attention. In work she could find a respite from her churning emotions.
There were reports on her third-year students and Jenny reached for the one on Ann Mallon. There were varied comments by people Ann had worked for, including an account of a big mistake she had made some months ago.
Ann, it seemed, had been working in the antenatal ward. She had accompanied a patient down to the delivery suite as the birth seemed imminent. All seemed to be going well.
All the student midwives were told how important it was to maintain a comforting presence with the mothers, to chat to them and try to keep them from becoming too nervous. Ann had done this. But she had not noticed how pale and sweaty the mother had become. She hadn't quite got around to checking the now high blood pressure or the too rapid pulse. Only when she had felt the woman's abdomen and discovered how hard it was, had she wondered if something might be wrong.
And at the moment an experienced midwife had come into the room, realised what was wrong and had instantly buzzed for help. The woman had been in shock. She had an ante-partum haemorrhage; the baby was in danger of drowning in its own blood.
Fortunately it hadn't been too late. The emergency had been controlled and the baby delivered safely. But what little confidence Ann had seemed to have disappeared. Jenny could almost sympathise.
Jenny rang the sister in antenatal to enquire how Ann was doing.
'Ann? She's very willing,' said the sister. 'She'll do anything I ask her. What she won't do is what I don't ask her. She never uses her initiative; she's frightened that she's made a mistake in even the simplest of observations. She repeats them over and over and the mums tend to get a bit annoyed with her, which makes her worse. And she keeps running to me to ask me to check what she's doing.'
'Is there anything at all she's good at? Any way we could praise her?'
There was a moment's silence. 'It's not too much but there is one thing. She's formed quite a good relationship with one of the mums. Apparently they went to the same school, knew each other vaguely. The mum's been in a long time with placenta praevia grade four. We're watching her for a bleed. She used to be a trouble to us but now Ann has quietened her down, made her much happier. More ready to rest. And that's been very useful.'
'It's a start,' said Jenny. 'If it's all right with you, I'll come onto the ward and have a word with her. Tell her she's doing well with this case and can she do the same for any of the other mums?'
'Worth a try. We're short of midwives. So I'll see you later?'
'Don't tell Ann that I'm coming,' said Jenny.
She replaced the phone and thought about the girl. As tutor it was part of her job to try to bring the best out in each of her students, to make sure they passed. But she also had a duty to make sure that no one got a qualification to be a midwife unless they deserved it.
Jenny decided she'd have to see more of Ann. But there was hope.
By the middle of the afternoon her back was starting to ache. It did sometimes, usually when she had spent too long sitting at her desk. Almost automatically her hands went to the arms of her wheelchair.
Then she realised what she had been about to do. Stand up on tiptoe, reach her arms up into the air. Stretch her cramped muscles and make the blood flow again. It was what she used to do when she had been studying for too long. But now she couldn't. Her legs were paralysed. Her previously broken arm was still weak.
It wasn't a feeling she was proud of, but suddenly Jenny felt very sorry for herself.
Someone knocked on her door. Jenny sighed, she could have done with a few more minutes without company. But, still, whoever it was might take her mind off her miseries.
'Come in,' she shouted.
'Jenny Carson?' A tall sunburned man with tired eyes came through the door. For a moment Jenny remembered how sunburned Mike had been when she'd first met him. And Mike was tall... What was she thinking of?
'Yes, that's me,' she said. 'May I help you?'
'I think you already have. More than I can thank you for. I'm Harry Morris. I'm Sue's husband and Sam's dad.'
'You're not expected until the end of the week!'
He laughed. 'I got home early. In fact, I arrived late last night.'
'I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. Please, come in. I was just going to have a coffee. Do you want one? If you're looking for Mike, I'm afraid he's away at a clinic. And have a seat.'
Jenny was aware she was rambling, but Harry's arrival had been the last thing she had been expecting.
Harry sat, said he'd like a black coffee. 'It doesn't matter about Mike, I'll catch up with him later. I'm still a bit jet-lagged, we'll probably have a long session when I feel more myself.'
He paused and looked at Jenny. 'In fact, I came to see you. Sue told me about the accident to you and Sam only this morning. It came as a bit of a shock, and then I learned that I was going to be a father a second time. Twice in our married life she's kept something from me.' Then his face softened. 'What am I saying? I know she did it for me. And Sam is perfectly all right.'
'He's a lovely little boy,' said Jenny.
'He is. You saved his life. And because of that you're in a wheelchair.'
It was easy to see that Harry was a soldier. He had a military way of bearing himself, his face remained calm, his voice tended to be clipped. He obviously didn't like to show emotion. But as he spoke Jenny could tell how deeply he felt.
'Look, I was there,' she said. 'I would have done the same for any child. And I've got rather fond of Sam.'
He nodded. 'But you've still been hurt. When Sue told me this morning I knew I had to come to see you at once to thank you. If ever there's any way I can help you, any way at all—please, ask.'
'I will,' she said.
For a moment both drank their coffee. Then Harry said, 'I hear you're getting to know my brother-in-law quite well.'
It took Jenny a moment to realise that he meant Mike. 'I think the accepted expression these days is that we're an item,' she said. 'I like him quite a lot.' Then she went slightly red under Harry's steady scrutiny.
'I'm indebted to him too,' Harry said. 'He introduced me to Sue. You know we are good friends from way back? We were at medical school together, climbed together in the Lake District.'
Jenny was interested, she hadn't realised that. 'What was he like as a young man?'
Harry laughed. 'Much the same as he is today, I suspect. He sees what he wants and goes for it. And he likes to cut corners—got into trouble for that at medical school. Said he was there to learn how to look after the sick, not fill in forms.'
Jenny nodded. 'He still hates unnecessary paperwork.'
'As students we had to take it in turns to organise seminars. Introduce a subject and then discuss it. We'd sit in the common room, drink coffee and carry on for hours. When it was Mike's turn to lead the seminar he made us all stand in the middle of the room. Said he believed that decisions could be made in a quarter of the time if there was no coffee and no sitting down. And he was right.'
Jenny laughed. 'I couldn't imagine a working life without coffee.'
'He may have mellowed a bit that way,' said Harry, and stood. 'Now, I'll leave you to your work. I just had to see you after I heard about you and Sam. Be coming to dinner soon, won't you?'
'I'd like that,' said Jenny.
He bent, kissed her gently on the cheek. 'I know Sue's said it, but I'll say it too,' he said. 'Welcome to the family. Now I'll be off.'
Jenny sat in silence for a minute when he had gone, and thought. It was rather a convoluted thought. But if she was married to Mike she'd have a sister-in-law who she very much liked—Sue. And now a brother-in-law who she thought she'd like just as much—Harry. A ready-made family. That would be nice.
She was in her office later that afternoon when her phone rang. It was Mike.
'I'm in the consulting room, about to perform a foetal blood sampling,' he said. 'Got a slightly worrying CTG here so I want to check the baby's pH levels. I wondered if you'd like to bring one of your students along. She could watch and you could talk her through what I'm doing. I'll be a bit busy myself.'
'Great idea. I've got a group in the postnatal ward, I'll fetch one.'
And it would mean she could watch Mike at work. She liked that.
Mike had already discussed the situation with the mother before Jenny arrived with her student. He had got the mother's permission for the student to observe. He had explained what he was going to do and told the mother that in no way could her baby be harmed. And he had had the mother placed in the left lateral position.
The mother smiled wanly as Jenny and the student came in. 'Hope you can learn something,' she said.
'He's using an amnioscope with a light source fitted,' Jenny whispered. 'The cervix is now dilated so he can pass it through and actually touch the baby's head.'
She heard Mike grunt with satisfaction and then he waved the student over to him. 'Look through here,' he said. 'Jenny will tell you what you're seeing.'
The student peered, then scampered back to Jenny's side.
'He's going to take a tiny sample of the baby's blood,' Jenny went on. 'He'll clean the scalp and put a touch of silicone jelly on it. That will make sure that the blood forms a globule—which will be easier to collect.'
'Won't the baby start bleeding?'
'There'll be one stab at the scalp with a guarded blade. Then the blood is collected in a collection tube and a swab pressed over the wound. Usually the bleeding stops pretty quickly.'
'And all that done through that tiny tube?'
'You have to have delicate fingers,' said Jenny.
The blood was collected, tested at once. The pH was well within acceptable range, no great need to worry.
Mike told the mother that all was well, turned and winked at Jenny and her student. 'I'll be down to see you in a couple of minutes,' he told Jenny.
Jenny took the hint. She took the student outside, explained again what had happened and then went back to her own room. She was pleased that Mike took his responsibilities as a teacher quite seriously. Too many senior medical staff tended to ignore the needs of student midwives.
'A job well done,' Mike said a little later as he accepted a coffee. 'A negative result, which is what we want. It's good to feel competent at your job, isn't it?'
'It's also good to be modest about it,' she pointed out.
'Very possibly. Now, do you feel relaxed? Feel at peace with the world? Feel in a giving mood?' She looked at him suspiciously. 'I don't think I do. I think you're plotting, you're about to make demands. Don't you just want to take me home?'
'Later I do, certainly. But yesterday, on the way back from the clinic, I passed that posh little precinct. I thought I'd have a look round. There's a shop just opened that specialises in unit furniture. There was some shelving there that I thought might do for the flat. Other stuff as well. I'd value your advice.'
She was still suspicious. Certainly she had been encouraging him to look around for more furniture for the flat, but why was he interested now? When he adopted this, completely innocent expression she wondered if he had some ulterior plan in mind. Still... perhaps she was being unduly sceptical.
'All right, let's go,' she said.
She had been wrong. There was a shop, there was some interesting shelving there and they spent a happy half-hour picking out a style that they liked. They walked out of the shop with a catalogue and a firm intention to work out exactly how much shelving they needed.
He was fiddling with something on his wrist. 'This watchstrap is breaking,' he mumbled as they moved back to where he'd parked the car. 'I need to get it fixed. Let's see if they'll do it here while we wait.' They were passing a jewellery shop.
So they went inside and he handed over the watch. 'Can you fit me another strap just like that?'
'It'll be ten minutes, sir.'
'May as well look round while we're waiting,' Mike said to her. 'Now, these are engagement rings.'
'Mike Donovan! Of all the two-faced, cheating, brazen... you're the worst! You got me in here to look at engagement rings!'
His face could not have been more innocent. 'Me? Why would I do that? All I need is a watchstrap. But since we're here, let's look.'
She couldn't help it. She wheeled herself nearer the counter and looked at the display he had pointed out.
'Would you say you are a diamond girl? Solitaire or cluster? Or a ruby, or an emerald? I like that one—do you?'
She was hypnotised by them. The bright lights, the dark velvet setting, drew her to them. She knew she was an unusual woman. She'd never been much interested in jewellery. But somehow... these were different.
'That ruby looks good to me,' he murmured.
Well, yes, it did. But...
'It's all right. But I think something green. What about the emerald?'
There were three rings for them to look at, to consider and compare. And then she saw it. It was unusual, a jade heart surrounded by tiny diamonds. And as she looked at it, she knew she wanted it.
'Look at that, Mike! It's absolutely stunning.'
'So it is. And the green would match your eyes, sweetheart. Shall I ask him to get it out so you can try it on? Just to look, of course.'
At that moment the jeweller returned with the new watchstrap. 'Is there anything you'd like to see, madam?'
She had to speak quickly. 'Nothing at all, thank you, and we have to go now. I'll see you outside, Mike.' And she wheeled herself out of the shop.
Mike joined her a minute later. 'That was a bit low,' she said.
He raised his eyebrows. 'Just passing the time,' he said, and waved his wrist at her. 'Got a nice new strap for my watch. Did you like that ring?'
'Yes, I did like that ring. I loved it. And never mind your watchstrap! Mike, let's get one thing straight. If you suddenly turn up with that ring and say let's get engaged, I will be seriously annoyed. And under no circumstance will I ever wear it! Everything is on hold until we're clearer about my condition.'
He was not a man who could easily hide his emotions. She could tell he was upset.
'But you know I still love you,' she said. 'I love you more than anyone or anything I've ever loved. Isn't that enough?'
'More than enough,' he said.
It was time for her visit to see Mr Spenser. She'd seen him last a month ago, then a fortnight before that.
'We'll just see how things go,' he had said. 'Nature and time are the best healers. So we'll give them both a chance. Now, has there been any extension of feeling—any movement at all?'
'Not really,' she had said. And though he had tried to conceal it, she had known that he had been disappointed.
Now Mike wanted to come with her.
'You can drive me there and drive me back, Mike,' she said, 'but things aren't as desperate as the first time I saw him. Then I really needed you. But now I can manage. I think I can manage better than you can. And if I feel you getting upset, that makes me worse.'
She saw the pain on his face but he said, 'I guess I know what you mean. You're good to me, Jenny.'
Before she saw Mr Spenser there were the X-rays, CT and MRI scans, all the aids that science could give him to work out a diagnosis. Then she went to his rooms.
As before, there was a lengthy examination. His eyes flicked from examining her back to the X-rays and other scans which were illuminated on the wall. He prodded at her legs and back, asked her a variety of questions, about her general health, her diet, how she was dealing with work, how she coped with any depression. Then he sat opposite her and stared at her.
'Has there been any progress?' she asked him directly.
Slowly he shook his head. 'Not as much as I had hoped, there's not been enough change. I had hoped that the natural processes might have built up sufficient strength by now but... they haven't. However, you seem to have coped with the... change in your circumstances very well. You've got a positive attitude to life.'
'Not always,' she said, and he nodded.
'You're human, not superhuman,' he said. 'You're entitled to feel sorry for yourself from time to time.'
'So I ought to look forward to a life in a wheelchair?'
'I wouldn't put things quite as starkly as that. We still have some time, things might improve. But... I had hoped...'
He picked up her case notes. 'I'd like your permission to take all the details of your case down to London,' he said. 'There's an American professor coming over for a neurological conference, his area of expertise covers your injury.'
He looked at her over his glasses. 'We're not looking for anything special, you understand. Just that looking at your notes might interest him. Might help us extend the boundaries of medical knowledge a little.'
'I'm happy to do that. Happy to help anyone in the same condition as myself.'
'Good.' Mr Spenser rose, shook her hand. 'Don't forget, any new symptoms, any change at all in your condition, phone my secretary at once. Don't try to get out of the wheelchair. And I'll see you again in a month.'
'Right. Thank you, Mr Spenser.'
It had gone as she'd expected.
Mike was waiting for her outside. He saw her set face, must have recognised her mood. So he bent to kiss her on the cheek and asked, 'No special news?'
'No news at all. Things are as they were before, as we expected. My legs are still paralysed, I'm in a wheelchair, we just have to wait and see if things improve. But they won't.'
He said nothing, just took her hand and held it.
'I don't want to go straight back to my room,' she said, 'to say hello to people and tell them that there's nothing to report. Just for once I'm tired of being brave. Mike, push me over there.'
The hospital grounds were quite extensive. There were large stretches of lawn, occasional thickets of bushes and trees. For once she just didn't want to wheel herself, and kept her hands in her lap as Mike pushed her towards the little stand of trees she had indicated.
There was a bench there, he sat on it and eased her so she was by his side. And when he put an arm around her, her tears started to flow.
'Everyone is so good to me,' she sobbed. 'And then there's you, and I know things could get worse. But sometimes I feel terrified. And I feel alone.'
'You're not alone! Jenny, you've got me.'
'I know that. Without you I couldn't have coped. But I guess I'm frightened. And the nearer I get to having no hope—the more frightened I get.'
'There's no need to be. You know, whatever happens, I will never leave you. And there's always hope.'
'Just hold me,' she said.
So he put his arms around her. She could feel the warmth of his body and it comforted her. After a while she took out a handkerchief, rubbed at her face.
'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I shouldn't get depressed in front of you like this, I know it only upsets you.'
He was indignant. 'Of course you can lean on me! And I can deal with any upset.' Then he went on, 'Of course, you could have a legal right to upset me. I could stand up and promise to look after you—in sickness and in health. Or is this a poor time to bring up the subject?'
She had to smile. 'It is a poor time. But knowing that you want to keeps me warm inside and keeps me alive.'
Then she spoke in a stronger voice. 'We'd better get back. We're both needed at work.'