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In the light of the morning, it occurred to Frank that Gina had mentioned having a boyfriend. How had he forgotten that? Was this guy real, or did she just make that up on the first day so creepy Wallace would leave her alone? Surely, a woman like her did indeed have a boyfriend somewhere. Why wouldn’t she? She was gorgeous! Thoughts of her filled his head as he recalled bits and pieces of their conversation from the previous night’s drinking binge. He could still detect the faintest hint of last night’s coffee, but two empty mugs in the sink were all that remained of their time together.
Frank made himself another cup of coffee and set it on the table to cool. In the meantime, he headed for the bathroom to take a quick shower and get dressed. As he went about buttoning his shirt and combing his hair, he took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. Where had all the years gone? Had he been too busy working to notice? Frank was surprised by the number of gray hairs beginning to appear on his head. Where did they come from? He was certain the stress of his job had accelerated the process. He wondered if it made him look distinguished or just plain old. At least he was in no danger of going bald. While he may have reached an age of maturity, he was far from dead. Didn’t some women even find salt and pepper hair attractive? He decided it would only be a problem when the gray hairs outnumbered the darker ones. But for now, he could live with it.
When Frank returned to the kitchen, he realized he had forgotten all about his coffee, which had grown cold and undrinkable. The scent of it triggered a memory of his ex-wife, Angela, and a happier Saturday morning they had spent drinking coffee together, recovering from a late night out. He began to remember how much he missed the quiet simple moments they had shared. Had he been too occupied with work since the divorce to recognize the growing loneliness and emptiness inside himself? Was this how his ex-wife had felt when work had so often been his mistress? She must have felt completely abandoned and was probably better off without him. She should be with someone who could give her the attention she deserved. Feelings of guilt continued to plague him even after all this time. Frank could never quite forgive himself for what had happened. He concluded he was a hopeless workaholic just like his father and would probably never change. Frank knew this line of thought wasn’t going to lead anywhere productive, so he packed up some gear and headed to the pistol range. He wasn’t sure why, but it always made him feel better. By the time he left the range, he was ready to take on the world again.
Frank arrived at the precinct as Walker and O’Brien were racing out the door. They had gotten a new case and were off to the crime scene. Gina and Sean each nodded a quick greeting to Frank, and he took a step back to let them pass. Frank and Tim had their own case to work on, which took up their concentration for the remainder of the morning and late into the afternoon. Once things had settled down, Frank noticed O’Brien had returned to his desk, but where was Gina? He decided against asking Sean about her. She would turn up eventually, and he’d be watching for her.
In the meantime, Frank was expecting a ballistics report from the lab. He thought he would try to speed things up by paying them a visit. As he paused in front of the elevator, it occurred to him he should take the stairs. Last week, when he and Wallace were chasing down a suspect, he noticed himself getting more winded than usual. Worse yet, Wallace had laughed at him. Perhaps it was time to start working out more. Today was as good a day as any to start changing some habits.
Before his hand even touched the door of the stairwell, Frank could hear indistinct muffled sounds coming from the other side. He opened the door with caution, not knowing what to expect, and found Gina sitting down on one of the steps with her face buried in her hands. She was sobbing softly and completely unaware Frank was there until the door slammed shut behind him.
“What are you doing here?” she asked and quickly tried to cover up the fact that she’d been crying. “I came here to be alone. No one takes the stairs these days.”
“The elevator was slow,” he lied, trying to shift the conversation back to her. “Is something wrong?” he asked, noticing a bit of smeared mascara on her face.
“Please, do me a favor, and forget you ever saw me like this,” Gina pleaded as she tried to pull herself together. “I don’t have the luxury of losing what little respect I’ve earned here so far. I know I’ll have to work twice as hard as any man in this department to keep this job.”
“Hey,” Frank began softly, “I promise I won’t tell anyone as long as you tell me what happened.” He slowly lowered himself to the ground and sat down next to her, patiently waiting for a response. Gina looked back at him with obvious pain in her eyes, the kind he recognized all too well in his line of work. He was so familiar with that look of loss, yet it chilled him to the bone every time he saw it.
“How could this have happened?” was all Gina could get out at first. “She was so young, too young to die. She was my age for God’s sake! How could they leave her lying in the street like that?”
Frank could tell this wasn’t just another homicide. “You knew her, didn’t you?” he asked sympathetically.
“Yes. We grew up together and used to play in that alley when we were kids. Her dad was an alcoholic, so he had trouble holding down a job, just like mine did. She was the sweetest person, and somebody gunned her down and left her for dead like she didn’t matter at all.” Tears welled up in Gina’s eyes again, and she was no longer able to stop them.
Frank thought about taking Gina’s hand or stroking her back to comfort her, but he wasn’t sure he should. He just didn’t know her well enough to predict how she would react. If she was trying to fake a tough exterior, she might not appreciate the sentiment. But really, who was she fooling now? Besides, he had promised this would remain a private moment, never to be known to anyone but them. His hand hovered slightly over hers while he debated what to do. Before he could talk himself out of it, Frank made the leap and placed his hand confidently on top of hers. Gina continued sobbing and did not react to his touch.
“I’m really sorry about your friend,” he said tenderly, trying to console her. He decided he would go a step further and rub her back reassuringly. Still, she didn’t seem to mind. Frank would do whatever it took to calm her, and he was finding it difficult to resist the urge to scoop her up in his arms and hold her close. He knew that would definitely be going too far, so he settled for letting her cry on his shoulder.
“We were survivors, at least until now. Our families were on welfare, and we knew what it was like to go to bed hungry. I lost touch with her for a while, but she seemed to be doing alright last time we talked. Now we’ll never talk again. I made it out of the slums, and she didn’t.”
“And you feel guilty about that, don’t you?”
“I know I shouldn’t, but I do.”
“You’ve done well for yourself, Gina. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your accomplishments. You’ve come a long way, and you should be proud of that. You beat the odds. I can’t say I know what it’s like to live in such a desperate situation, but my family did struggle to make ends meet.”
“The worst part was delivering the news to her mother and seeing the look on her face. Sean had to take over and do all the talking because I could barely hold it together. For some reason, I never stopped to think this could happen to someone I know. What was I thinking coming to Homicide? Maybe I’m just not cut out for this,” she rambled while trying to regain her composure. “I’m just so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be,” Frank soothed. He tried to gently wipe away some of her tears and smeared mascara with his hand. “Listen, we’ve all been there. I can guarantee you there’s not one detective on the other side of that door who hasn’t had a moment of doubt like this, myself included. Now, none of them will openly admit it, but it’s just part of the job. I’m sure tomorrow will be better, and you’ll see things more clearly. You’re a good detective, Gina, and you’re needed here. You really care about people, and that’s what makes you good at what you do.”
A smile slowly spread across her face as his words of encouragement reached her. Gina found the sound of his voice comforting, and he seemed to know just what to say. Gina searched his intense and mysterious eyes, which at first seemed to look right through her, and found tenderness and concern that could not be faked. She could tell he was being completely genuine with her.
Pleased to see Gina feeling better, Frank smiled in return. “Now, may I help you up?” he offered before standing and extending his hand toward hers. Frank pulled her gently to her feet, and they found themselves face-to-face, standing so close they could hear each other breathing. For a moment, they stood together in silence, looking each other in the eyes but not moving a muscle. Frank felt like he should do something, but before he could take any action, Gina placed a soft kiss on his cheek to show her gratitude.
“Thank you, Frank. You’re really sweet. That’s just what I needed to hear. Now why can’t my boyfriend be as supportive as you?”
Aha! So the boyfriend was real after all! Frank was left feeling both devastated and elated at the same time. The kiss had been a nice surprise, although not the more intimate one he had fantasized about, but to hear this mysterious boyfriend was indeed real made Frank’s heart sink. Being an honorable gentleman, he was not the kind of man to steal another man’s woman. He would just have to respect that and keep a little more distance. It would be better for both of them. Frank tried to hide his disappointment while they made their way back to their desks.
