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For the next few weeks, Gina took care of Frank at home while he recovered from his stab wound. Before long, he was up on his feet but unable to do much without pain. Every move he made strained the damaged muscle and tissue, which would need several more weeks to heal completely. There was no rush to get back to work though. Internal Affairs was backed up with too many cases and taking their time investigating the incident.
“You’re getting restless again, aren’t you?” Gina asked him one afternoon.
“You know it.”
“Well, I think it’s nice having you home for a change. I’ll be sorry to see it end. This is the most time we’ve spent together in four years.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m doing much good here. I still can’t do any lifting. You must get so tired and sore carrying the kids around all day.”
“I manage. I’m used to it, although I must say Tim does a lot for me when he’s around.”
“So, that’s still working out? I haven’t seen him here once.”
“Yeah, it’s going great. Lately, he’s been running errands for me and giving us some space so you can recover. He’s also been getting the kids out of here and taking them places so you can have some peace and quiet.”
Frank grimaced when he bent over to put on his shoes.
“Let me help you with that, honey.”
Frank hated to admit how much he needed Gina’s help these days. “I’m fine. I need to start doing things for myself now and get back in shape. I’ve been lounging around long enough. I’m going for a walk.”
“The doctor said to take it easy, Frank, and stop if you feel pain or get short of breath.”
“The doctor also said I need some light exercise. A little walk isn’t going to kill me. I’ll use the stroller to lean on and give Sammy a ride at the same time.”
“Alright. You two have fun,” Gina said, lifting their one-year-old into the stroller for Frank. She knew how badly it hurt him to do even light lifting.
When Frank arrived back home, Gina could tell he was in pain. “You’re hurting, aren’t you?” she asked when she saw the look on his face and the telltale signs in his posture. “You should take another pain pill. I’ll put the kids down for their naps.”
When Gina returned, she noticed her husband sitting on the sofa feeling sorry for himself. “Recovery takes time, Frank, especially as you get older. I know you’re getting impatient, but it won’t be that much longer.”
“I hate this.”
“I know.” Gina sat down so she could rub his shoulders and mentally prepare herself for the discussion she wanted to have with him. “Honey, don’t you think it’s time to start slowing down a little?”
“Are you saying I can’t do my job?”
“Please don’t put words in my mouth.”
“It’s because I got hurt, isn’t it? Somehow this is my fault. My reflexes weren’t fast enough or something, even though this could have happened to anyone. Don’t you think I know my days in the field are numbered? Maybe I’m just trying to hold on for as long as I can.”
“Sweetheart,” Gina began tactfully, “you’ve given 26 years to your career. How about saving a few good years for me? It’s not like you have to work until you die.”
“In just three years I’ll turn 50 and collect a nice pension. Besides, I live for this. I want to work.”
“And I want you to be around! When you got stabbed, I thought about how things would be if I lost you. I need you! Our children need you! You should start thinking about that and ask yourself what value you place on living! Not to mention, with the way you’ve been burning the candle at both ends, I’m afraid one day you’ll just drop dead! Then what?”
“Relax, Gina. You’re overreacting.”
“Am I? So, it’s OK for you to be protective of me but not the other way around?”
“Someone has to bring home the paycheck, Gina! We have a mortgage now and our kids’ college funds to think about.”
“Well, then how about I go back to work, and you stay home with the kids?”
“To be honest, I know nothing about raising kids. I was an only child.”
“Then you’ll learn.”
“I’m good at what I do now. That’s my calling in life. It’s what I do and who I am,” he insisted.
“What about my dreams, Frank? I wanted a career too, remember?”
“Of course, but wouldn’t you miss the lifestyle we’ve grown accustomed to? I’m bringing in good money these days.”
“Frank, you know I’m not content just to be your trophy wife!”
“You’re a stay-at-home mother. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Well, I’ve stayed home long enough! It’s your turn now. I didn’t get pregnant all by myself. You need to help me with this.”
“It might seem like I’m being selfish, Gina, but I need to work!”
“You sound like an addict. You’re addicted to it, aren’t you? It’s like work is your drug.”
“Maybe it is, but I can think of far worse things I could be addicted to! Look, I realize you deserve to have the same opportunities I did in life. You’ll get your chance to shine too. You’ve got time. Just give me a little longer to feel useful.”
“Do you want Tim raising our kids? Because I think Tim knows them better than you do!”
“A lot of working parents put their kids in daycare, Gina. Why don’t you join me back at work?”
“Sammy’s too young. I think he needs me for another year, but that’s it, Frank. After that, I’m focusing on me and what I need.” Gina got up and left the sofa abruptly, leaving Frank no one to argue with.
Two more weeks passed before Frank was cleared by Internal Affairs and returned to work. Captain Michaels commended him for his bravery in saving the life of his partner after sustaining a serious injury and awarded him with a well-deserved promotion to Detective Lieutenant, which he proudly accepted. He now held the department’s second highest rank, and with it came added responsibility. It was a leadership position with administrative duties that meant a lot of desk work. Although it wasn’t quite as satisfying as being in the field, Frank was beginning to realize it was a necessary change that offered him a chance to keep on working. He could no longer deny it; his body was telling him loud and clear it was time to transition to a less active role. Fortunately, his years of experience would not go to waste. He would still be valuable to the department, just in a different way.
“Congratulations, honey. I’m proud of you,” Gina said when Frank told her the news of his promotion. Her husband had never lacked ambition. He was driven and destined for success, which was great, up to a point. While she was happy knowing he’d be much safer than before, she was not as thrilled as he was. Even though it would mean a larger paycheck for their one-income family, it would also mean even longer hours and more stress than before. She knew the burden would rest heavily on Frank’s shoulders.
After working a few months in this new capacity, Frank was beginning to feel comfortable. He did, however, still have the natural tendency to micro-manage and felt the need to be involved in as much as he could possibly handle. Although he did come home most evenings, since he was no longer working the cases directly, he still found himself at the office late into the night on a regular basis. Now and then, emergencies would come up, and he would have to drop whatever he was doing, no matter the hour, and come in to work. Sometimes Frank would have to fill in for Captain Michaels because his health had declined over the last five years and he was missing work more frequently. It was in times like these that Frank felt a great sense of duty and took the power involved very seriously. It’s not that he wanted to take over the captain’s job; Frank was just striving for excellence in the job he was given. He considered it an honor to be trusted with such important decisions in the captain’s absence, and with each passing month, Captain Michaels was relying on Frank more and more.
Gina was doing her best to adjust to Frank’s new schedule. While it had been difficult before, having him away for two days at a time, he would at least occasionally get a day off between cases to make up for it. Of course, he’d spent most of that time catching up on his rest. Now he worked long hours every day and was constantly on-call. She wasn’t sure which was worse. Gina only knew there was no end in sight, and she grew more discontented by the day. Frank seemed happy though, when she actually saw him. His happiness would have to be enough for both of them. She hid her growing bitterness and resentment as the days turned to weeks and months, reminding herself that someday she would get her turn, just like he had gotten his. Still, she knew how important his job was and couldn’t fault him for wanting to do it well.
By the time their fifth anniversary arrived, Gina was desperate for some quality time with her husband. Tim had agreed to watch the kids, and Frank had gotten off work early to celebrate the occasion. Somehow, he had found the time to plan what he hoped would be an unforgettable night enjoying the city skyline during a romantic sunset cruise. To cap off this special evening, the cruise would end with the light display at the fountain they had enjoyed watching together back when they first fell in love. Gina could hardly contain how thrilled she was. This was their chance to reconnect and remember why they were together in the first place. Her heart was filled with hope that things would be better between them after this.
Their date started out better than either of them could have imagined. Frank and Gina had a great time walking along the waterfront, waiting for the boat to depart. They talked and laughed, and they felt so much in love. Gina thought they must have appeared to be a happy couple with a perfect marriage, but on any other day, that was far from the truth. Still, she was enjoying this rare moment with him because she loved him so. She was reminded of the good man he was and all the times he had been there for her early on in their relationship when she’d needed him the most.
Gina knew Frank still loved her. He was making that perfectly clear tonight, showing her every sign of affection appropriate for a public setting. He had gotten so much better at that, thanks to her. This was the Frank she had fallen in love with five years ago. This was the man she had wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She longed for his touch and felt so close to him in this moment. He simply made her whole world right. Outside of their kids, he was her whole world.
As they boarded the vessel, Frank sneaked a look at his phone. He had promised he would leave it off tonight, but in reality, he couldn’t. If anything happened and the captain was not there, he would be responsible for the fallout. The unfortunate truth was that being the captain’s right-hand man was often worse than being the captain. But so far, there were no messages, and he hoped the night would remain uneventful at the precinct.
“I’ve missed you,” Frank whispered in Gina’s ear. They were standing against the railing, his arms wrapped around her waist, while they looked toward the shore. The wind was playing with Gina’s hair, and he was reminded of their time on the beach in the Bahamas.
“I’ve missed you too,” she replied.
“I know this can’t be easy on you, me being gone so much, but you know how it is.”
“Let’s not talk about work tonight. Let’s talk about us and enjoy our time together.”
“That sunset is really something, but you’re far more beautiful,” Frank complimented Gina, who rewarded him with that sweet smile he’d been longing to see. He touched her face and kissed her tenderly. There were other people nearby, but that mattered little to him now. Frank wanted her tonight almost as much as the first night they had ever spent together. In fact, he was having a hard time keeping his hands off her, and she seemed to be soaking up and savoring every touch. “I love you, Gina,” he said sweetly.
“I love you too. Happy anniversary, honey.”
“Happy anniversary, sweetheart.” He kissed her again and whispered in her ear, “I can’t wait to get you alone.” Frank locked his eyes on Gina’s and gave her the look that used to make her feel weak in the knees.
“It’s been a long time,” she replied.
“I know. Too long.” He ran his fingers through her hair and thought back to the first time he had ever kissed her.
Their two hour cruise seemed to pass in a matter of minutes. They held hands walking off the boat, their excitement building in anticipation of what was to come. After dinner, they’d be back home and in each other’s arms.
Halfway to the restaurant, Frank’s phone rang. They stared at each other for a moment, not wanting to believe it was real. They had been holding hands in the car, but Gina quickly pulled hers away when Frank answered the call.
“Whatever you’re calling about, it better be good!” Frank glanced at Gina, who appeared thoroughly disgusted by his decision to answer the phone. The loving look in her eyes that had been there a moment ago was nowhere to be found.
“Isn’t there anyone else who can handle this?” Frank asked, sensing Gina was still glaring at him. “I’m trying to celebrate my anniversary!”
“I see. Fine. Hopefully we can make this quick. I’ll be right down.” Frank knew the trouble he’d be in before he even hung up the phone.
“No, Frank! This is our night!” Gina pleaded.
“I’m afraid I can’t get out of this one, dear. The mayor is in an uproar, and if I don’t get down there right now to straighten it out, this could cost all of us our jobs.”
“Where’s Captain Michaels?”
“Apparently, he’s having chest pains and is back in the hospital again.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m afraid not. I’m so sorry, Gina. I’ll drop you off at home, and then I have to go. I’ll handle things as quickly as I can, but whenever there’s a situation involving the mayor, it tends to be more complicated,” Frank explained. His wife looked like she might cry, but she held it in until they got home. Frank hated to break her heart like this. His heart was breaking too as he dropped her off at their front door.
Gina made her instructions clear. “Just go, and hurry back. I’ll be waiting up for you.”
“You know I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll do my best.” Frank tried to give her a quick kiss in parting, but she turned away before his lips could reach hers. Gina’s chilly reaction made him feel even worse about leaving her, but he had no choice. Unfortunately, he knew a crisis involving the mayor could take hours.
Gina opened the door and found herself face-to-face with Tim, much to his surprise. “You’re home early! Where’s Frank?”
“Frank had to get back to the office, and we had to skip dinner! Any other questions?” she snapped, remaining strong for only a moment before her eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry, Gina.”
“If I hear one more apology with my name after it, I swear I’m going to scream!”
“I know it’s no consolation, but there’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry.” Tim paused for a moment when Gina turned her back to him. “Do you want to talk about it? We could raid Frank’s liquor cabinet. What do you say?”
It startled her a little when she felt the weight of his hand on her shoulder. “Please, Tim, just go. I appreciate your concern, but I’d rather be alone right now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she said, still unable to turn and look at him.
Tim slowly made his way to the door, hesitating with each step to see if she would change her mind, but she just needed him to leave. When the door finally closed behind him, Gina headed to the bedroom, changed into the new lingerie she’d bought for the occasion, and cried herself to sleep. She knew there was no way she’d be seeing her husband anytime soon.
Frank did eventually make it home, but by then it was the middle of the night. He found Gina asleep like he’d expected, and while he felt terrible about everything and wanted to apologize to her, he needed his sleep too. He changed his clothes and curled up next to Gina, taking care not to wake her.
Morning came quickly, and Frank awoke to the sound of his alarm clock, to which Gina seemed oblivious. He quietly slipped out of bed and got himself ready for work before returning to their bedroom. He watched her sleeping peacefully for a moment before placing a light kiss on her forehead that he knew wouldn’t be enough to wake her. He made the rounds like he did every morning, first to her and then the kids, kissing each one as he went along. Frank always left the house before they got up, often before the sun was even up, so he had to make do with these one-sided family moments. The only things that kept him going were his passion for work and doses of caffeine large enough to cause shaky hands and heart palpitations. He wondered how many years he could continue at this pace and how many years it would take Gina to forgive him! His job was taking everything he had, leaving so little precious time and energy for his family and himself. It was certainly not Frank’s intention to abandon them. He loved his family so dearly he would give his life for any one of them. It didn’t matter whether he was at work or at home; he was constantly plagued by guilt because he was not able to be everywhere at once and keep everyone happy.
While Frank did attempt to make up for their lost evening later in the week, it seemed Gina wanted nothing to do with him. She had been hurt one too many times and did not want to make herself vulnerable to disappointment again. Unfortunately, by the time she was ready to allow Frank back in, he was once again completely unavailable for her.
With the captain’s health rapidly deteriorating, Frank was increasingly being called upon to do his job for him. He assumed the captain’s retirement must be right around the corner and wondered how long it would be before his own health followed a similar path. Would he even be fit to take over if the captain asked him to? What kind of toll would that take on his marriage? Things were already strained, but he knew he should prepare Gina for the possibility of one final adjustment.
