Twenty-seven

15 November

It’s funny, but today I feel quite peaceful about it all – or if not peaceful exactly, something like steadfast (I love that word; my parents are steadfast). Steadfast about meeting you, I mean, and finding out about me. I know I’m loved; I don’t need your love. So I’m kind of ready for you and somehow, after all the fretting and scrabbling around for meanings and torturing myself with imagined scenes and dramatic resolutions, I feel small and clean and simple, like a child who’s been scrubbed in the bath, then wrapped in a big soft towel and put in front of the fire to get dry.

We’ll see.