I’ve Been Thinking

“Lynn, princess, listen,” Logan said, his voice sharp and tense, when I went in to tell him goodnight. “I like hanging out with you and all, but I can’t stay in this closet anymore. I’m going crazy.”

This was so different from what I expected to come out of his mouth, I couldn’t say anything for a long moment.

“It’s better than jail,” I said. “So just wait. My mom will go back to work tomorrow and you can get out.”

“I’ve been thinking …,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got this friend in Macon. I can go there for a while. I could visit you sometimes.”

It felt like someone had poured Liquid-Plumr straight into my stomach. “That’s so far away.”

“It’s only about two hours. I can visit on the weekends. There’s a campground near here. I can stay in a tent and we can hang out together.” He brought his knees up to his chest and put his arms around them. All he had on were a pair of blue striped boxers. “At least that’s what I’m thinking right now.”

“You’ll leave and that’ll be it.”

“That’s not true.”

“Please don’t leave tomorrow while I’m at school,” I said. “Please. I don’t want to have to visit you in jail.”

“You couldn’t anyway,” he said. “The place they’d probably send me is in Leavenworth, Kansas.” He pushed a bit of hair off my forehead and tucked it behind my ear. “I don’t want to leave you. It’s only I—”

“Take me with you,” I said.

“With the Army chasing after me? That ain’t no life for you.”

“I don’t care. I’ve never had nothing like this. I don’t expect I ever will again.”

He turned away. I took his chin and pulled his head to face me. His eyes shone and I kissed them closed, one after the other, and then again for good measure.

“God almighty, I wish I were someone else. I wish—” He stopped and kissed my nose.

“Who?”

“I don’t know.”