A Fistful of Trojans

I didn’t see Dani until after homeroom. She handed me a fistful of Trojans. “You know I am so proud of you. What happened? Tell me everything. Did it kill when he first put it in?”

I told her about it. She nodded wisely.

“Well, it ought to last longer than a minute,” she said finally. “I’ll think about this premature ejaculation problem for you. I think we can fix it.”

“Premature ejaculation?” I said.

The second bell rang.

Dani dug in her pocket and pulled out a plastic baggie. “After breakfast I went and checked for footprints myself. In the grass by the flower bed, I found this.”

She handed me the bag. Inside was an ace of spades. I took it out and held it up to the light. There was a picture of Bugs Bunny nibbling a carrot on the other side.

Dani snatched it out of my hands and put it back in the bag.

“You’ll mess up the fingerprints.” She made an ugh yuck face at me. “Fucked up, isn’t it? And that’s not all.”

“Dani, the second bell rang.”

“Just look at it.”

She handed me a second bag. Inside was a computer-printed picture of Dani from last year’s yearbook, but the eyes had been rubbed out with an eraser. It gave me chicken pimples on my arms.

“Whoa,” I said. “You found this outside your window?”

She had.