Chapter Thirty-One

Not any key, but the key to the sea horse door. Another key, because Lucas used mine to open the door this evening and it’s lying on the table at the bottom of the stairs. I know, because I’ve just seen it there.

“Lucas?”

“Mm?”

The key is attached to a decomposing cork and…

I lift it closer to my eyes to make sure I’m actually seeing what I’m seeing.

A diamond ring. A large, round-cut solitaire in a tarnished setting.

Bonny’s ring.

If it’s lost, you can find it.

“Lucas?” I turn away from the bin, closing it on the ripped jeans that have given up their prize, and face him. “Look what I found.”

He strolls over to see what I’m holding. To say he does a double-take doesn’t cut it. It’s more like an electric shock. He stares at the key in my hand for a moment, looks up at me wild-eyed and pale, and then back at the key. He steps back, recoiling, and then leans forward to look again. He prods the key with a forefinger, here in the palm of my hand, and picks it up, letting the diamond ring dangle.

“God,” he whispers, walking to the table, mesmerized. He sits heavily in a chair and lays the key and ring in front of him like an expert with a rare treasure on The Antiques Roadshow. Head in hands, he stares. Helpless, I look on. I can barely imagine what he’s feeling.

Eventually, he speaks. “Where did you find these? How?” His voice is rough, and unsteady.

“When I was chasing Buster through the undergrowth.” I go on to tell Lucas how I thought the one and only sea horse door key had fallen out of my jeans’ pocket during the scramble. “I was overwhelmed with relief to find it, even in the chaos. Imagine if I had lost the only key to that door.”

“You have no idea what this means.”

Don’t I? Do I? My mind’s in replay. If Agat hadn’t finished knitting the bunny, Alice and I wouldn’t have driven out to her cabin with the Halloween cookies, Agat wouldn’t have given Alice the duck for Buster…and that damn key and ring would have lain half buried in the compost of the shore, forever. I shiver to think I almost threw it away without knowing, after finding it without knowing. Serendipity gone awry.

“Does it prove anything?” I ask, because I can’t see that it does.

He nods. “Oh yes. To me, it proves everything. Bonny went for a swim, meaning to come home. That’s what I need to know.”

Buster, in his near-death throes, has handed Lucas his salvation.

Lucas is quiet for the rest of the evening, distant and thoughtful like he’s undergoing some sort of change. I let him be. This is something he has to get through by himself.

Something.

We go to bed early folded in each other’s arms, falling asleep face-to-face, heart to heart in the darkness. When I wake I have no idea of the time, or how long I’ve been asleep. It’s like silence has woken me; it’s too quiet. I move Lucas’s arms off my body and get out of bed, careful not to disturb him. At the window, I open a shutter a few inches and look on a scene that takes my breath away. The full moon hangs ice-white over a ragged sea, eerie behind a slanting veil of heavy snow. I’ve never seen snow at sea level before; it’s magical, and disturbing, like there’s something wrong with the planet.

“What?” Lucas grunts from the bed.

“It’s snowing.”

“Mm.” He rolls over, turning his back. I get into bed and snuggle behind him. He’s so fast asleep he doesn’t even complain when I warm my cold feet between his calves.

“Lara?”

Right. Not so fast asleep after all. “Sorry about my feet.”

He turns around again, dragging the bedding with him.

“Hey!” I whisper, clutching my share. There’s a brief fight for territory, and we settle, him pulling me to his chest, running a hand over my hair, the back of my neck, my shoulder blades, and ribs. He touches my stomach, stopping there.

“Lucas?”

He breathes out long and slow. “Are you too scratched and stinging to—”

“No.” I squeeze closer, pressing myself to his body, drinking his heat.

The release of tension in Lucas’s hand, sliding further, downwards, between my legs, and the heat of his kisses drives me to the shimmering edge. Next second I’m on red alert. Lucas is different. He’s strong and tender, and utterly committed. Together, his tactical intensity, the buzz and thrill of rising climax, the swift, exquisite power and release of simultaneous orgasms followed by the effervescent aftershock, equal the most beautiful few minutes of…

Of my life thus far, come to think of it.

Something’s different. Something’s happened. I glance at Lucas, facedown in the pillow next to mine.

Something’s got to happen.

I think it did. Except it wasn’t something. It’s everything.

Everything just happened.

Lucas surfaces by turning his head to face me. “That was different,” he murmurs.

I stare at him in the dark, feeling rather than seeing his eyes holding mine. “Different?”

“How was it for you, Ms. Fairmont?” he asks, in a deep, mock-television-interviewer voice.

Neither mechanical, nor studied, nor textbook. “Perfect.”

“Please elaborate. How perfect, Ms. Fairmont?”

“As perfect as one of Queenie’s gorgeous eggs.”

He drops the voice. “Huh?”

“Boiled, Lucas. Boiled.”

The bedding rustles and pulls tight. He’s up on one elbow. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Soft and hard in all the right places.”

He smothers a big laugh, shaking the bed. I reach out and touch his face, “And you, Lucas? Was it great for you too?”

He’s quiet for a long time, but I know he’s staring at me with those brown-diamond eyes.

“What?” I cuddle up, but he pushes me away, holding me by the upper arms like he can see me in the dark.

“Lara? Something’s different.”

He felt it too. I stare back. “Different?”

“You—I don’t know how to say this—but sometimes, no, actually always, all the times we’ve been together, you’ve…”

“I’ve what?”

“Sex with you is fantastic, Lara, don’t get me wrong. It’s wild. It’s perfect. The best, but…”

“But?”

“You always hold something back. It’s like there’s a small, vital part you don’t give.”

I hold my breath. “Which part?”

“The best part. The part I want most. Tonight you were fully in the moment with me. Not distracted like you’re hiding something, holding a secret, unwilling to give me everything.”

Everything.

“Tonight, Lara, you were mine. All mine. You gave it all.”

“You too.”

We slide across the small area of sheet that lies between us and wind our arms around each other. I slide a leg between his thighs.

“We should get some sleep,” he says.

“Can I tell you something first?”

“Sure.”

I move my head back, so I can see the shimmer in his eyes.

“I love you, Lucas.” I hold his face, and kiss his mouth. “I love you. I love you forever.”