Bedrooms intrigued Beth. They were shut off from the rest of the house, often untidier; dressing tables showed insecurities; wardrobes told stories of clothes worn and those that were not. In the drawers next to the bed were stuffed letters, test results, cards a person couldn’t face throwing away but had nowhere to put. Above all, bedrooms were private, secret places.
Kathleen and Patrick’s room was bright, light, feminine. Kathleen had clearly had a lot of say in the design of this room, unlike the rest of the house. From the ceiling hung the beautiful cut glass chandelier Patrick had mentioned; beautiful prints of butterflies were in light gold frames. The carpet was white; the bedding duck egg blue, with matching heavy curtains. Books about pharmacy were on a small shelf, alongside some Jackie Collins mega reads and photography books. On the dressing table expensive makeup and perfume were neatly arranged. On the bed sat a large collector’s Stein bear and neatly arranged embroidered cushions.
‘Why are you in Mum’s room?’
Beth spun round and faced Conor, tall, good looking, red haired like his mother. He wore a tight short sleeved black t-shirt which showed off the tattoos which covered both his arms. She felt herself blushing. ‘I’m sorry—’
‘You shouldn’t be in here.’
Beth backed away. ‘I’m sorry. How are you, Conor? I am so sorry about your mum.’
Conor didn’t move, his arms crossed defiantly. ‘You hate me for not coming to the hospital, don’t you?’
‘No. Of course not.’
‘I’m a coward. I don’t want to see her dead. Mum was more alive than most people. I know we argued, but that’s family and we worked it out in our own way. I loved her.’
‘Of course, and she loved you. She understood you’d found it difficult settling back here.’
Conor kicked the skirting board with the toe of his boot. ‘It’s all bullshit.’ He blinked tears.
‘It’s very hard for you.’
Conor clenched a fist, thumped the side of his leg. ‘Patrick’s a decent guy, whatever Dad says. He’ll be broken up by this. He was always worried about her, worried about losing her. I saw him checking her phone a few times and he was always asking her where she was going and when she’d be back.’
‘Did he?’
‘Yeah, and I saw him in here going through the drawers. My dad said she was always after other men.’
‘I don’t think that was true,’ said Beth quietly.
‘You didn’t know her properly. Lately something was up.’ Conor moved closer to her. ‘Last night, when everyone was here, I saw her read a text and then look up. She looked dead scared. I went over and asked her, but she said it was nothing and put her phone away.’
‘She didn’t tell you who the text was from?’ Beth waited, holding her breath.
‘No. She just was looking round the room.’
Beth watched Conor, now trying to pick the paint off the lintel.
‘Have you spoken to your father in Ireland today?’
‘He rang me. Uncle Sean had told him what happened, but I didn’t want to talk to him.’
‘Why not?’
Conor kicked the skirting board again and glared at Beth. ‘I just didn’t.’
Beth felt desperately sorry for him ‘When you’re ready, I think you should talk to someone. They can arrange it at school. You could ask your form teacher or there’s the Youth Centre. Ring them. It’s free.’
Conor face looked angry. ‘You think I’m mad?’
‘Of course not, but you are grieving. Talking to someone can be a lot of help. Honestly. I talked to someone when I lost my Mum.’
‘I don’t need anyone,’ he shouted, and walked away.
Beth stayed with Patrick for the afternoon until there was a knock at the door.
Sue answered it. Beth looked over to see a middle aged man in a smart suit. ‘I’m Patrick’s brother, Sean.’
Beth was amazed, both at the similarity and the difference between the brothers. They were the same height and build, but looked so different. Patrick had slicked back hair and tended to wear a leather jacket. They were replaced on his brother with a smart if dull barber cut and a suit: smart, conventional.
Patrick stood up and his brother came towards him. Sean held out a rectangular black box.
Patrick read the front. ‘Bushmills, twenty-one year old. Oh, Sean.’ He burst into tears and the men hugged.
Beth felt it was now time for family. She glanced at Sue, who seemed to understand.
‘I’ll be off now, Patrick.’
Sean came over to her. ‘Thank you so much. I’m so grateful I was over here. I’m going to stay as long as Pat needs me.’
‘That’s wonderful. Look, I’ll give you my mobile number,’ said Beth. ‘If there is anything—’ Sean took out his phone and they exchanged numbers.
‘Thank you for coming,’ said Patrick. His voice broke and Beth felt herself well up again. The framed photographs of Kathleen on the walls caught her eye, and, as if for the first time, she realised that she would never see her friend again.
Patrick followed her glance. ‘So beautiful, perfect. I never thought she’d stay with someone like me, but she did, right to the end.’
‘Remember where we are. Sami will be in touch soon.’
Sue walked with her out to her car. ‘Can I check one or two things?’
Beth groaned inwardly but put on a polite smile.
‘You gave me the names of everyone who was here last night. Is there anyone, apart from yourself, who was particularly close to Kathleen?’
‘My husband, Sami, has known and worked with her for a long time. She started working with him at the pharmacy soon after she and Patrick moved over to the island about ten years ago.’
‘What was her role there?’
‘She was on the counter. She was studying to be a technician. She had lectures at the South London Academy on the first Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, so she went last week.’
‘Did she travel each day for this?’
‘No, she stayed in London on Tuesday evenings, actually at Alex’s house. You know, Sami’s new partner.’
‘She stayed with Alex?’
‘No, at his house. He wasn’t there. Kathleen originally stayed with his wife, Amy, but she died a few months ago. After that Kathleen was staying by herself. Alex was here on the island every Tuesday evening. He covered for Sami, who also goes to London on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but he goes every week. He lectures in King’s College and stays at the college on the Tuesday night.’
‘Was that on Kathleen’s course?’
‘No, Kathleen’s course was at the London Academy and that was only once a month.’
‘I see. So, last week, as it was the start of the month, Kathleen went to the London Academy on Tuesday and Wednesday and stayed at Alex’s house. Sami went on the same days but to King’s College and he stayed there on the Tuesday night. Alex, his new partner, was down here, covering for him like he does every week.’
‘Exactly.’
‘So, if I’m right, Kathleen would have worked with Alex the weeks she was not on her course?’
‘That’s right, yes.’
‘Right. It’s handy to know how well people knew Kathleen.’
‘Oh, I should add that Kathleen was working her notice. She’d decided to leave the pharmacy a few weeks ago, and she’d also decided to give up her course.’
‘Really. Why?’
‘She told me she wanted a fresh start. I guessed she meant with the new house and things.’
Sue glanced back at the house. ‘And would you say Kathleen’s marriage was a happy one?’
‘I’m sure it was. I think she wanted to spend more time with Patrick and, of course, she has her son, Conor, here as well.’
‘That’s helpful. Thank you.’ Sue closed her book. ‘I’ll give you my card. If you think of anything, this is my direct number.’
Beth took the card and put it in her bag.
It was mid afternoon when she arrived home, but it felt as if she’d been away for days.
Sami returned from work, came straight to the kitchen, and slumped into a chair. ‘How are you? How did it go?’
Beth sat opposite him. ‘Patrick, as you’d expect, is in pieces. His brother Sean arrived this afternoon. He was over on the mainland on business, so I guess that was lucky.’
‘I remember meeting Sean a few years back; nice chap; yes, he’ll be practical, supportive.’
‘When I arrived at Patrick’s I was met by a woman who used to work at the school and is now a police officer. Her name’s Sue and she’s Patrick’s Police Liaison Officer. It was good for Patrick to have her there. She kept explaining things. I think she’ll be a lot of support for him. It was horrible seeing all the police in the garden, in these suits, everything cordoned off.’
‘Did you tell this Sue about your conversation with Kathleen?’
‘Not really. I said she seemed on edge, that she was worried she might have upset someone who was at the party, but I didn’t go any further.’
‘Good.’
‘She was there with her notebook. It made me realise how official everything was.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Sue asked me and Patrick about Kathleen’s state of mind. I guess, like you said, they have to look at everything at this stage. I told them I didn’t think Kathleen sounded like she wanted to end her life, but she wanted to make some changes to it.’
Sami took off his glasses and rubbed his red, tired eyes.
‘One thing happened that I wasn’t prepared for, though,’ said Beth. ‘Patrick asked me to go to the mortuary with him. We went this afternoon.’
‘Oh goodness. Were you all right?’
‘It was desperately sad. Kathleen still looked beautiful. There was a gash on her forehead where she’d fallen. I’ve never been to a mortuary. It was weird, tucked away in the hospital. I didn’t want Kathleen to be there.’ Beth covered her face with her hands, and Sami moved his chair closer to her.
‘How was it at the pharmacy?’ she asked.
‘Awful. Even people who didn’t need anything came in. No one could believe it had happened. I had to go through it so many times; it made me realise how loved Kathleen was. She always went out of her way for people, would take prescriptions round to them, give them time. Ironically, this morning was the kind of situation she’d have handled well. Alex was a big help. He’s not exactly touchy feely but he quietly kept everything together.’
‘Actually, I can imagine that. He’s reliable but not very chatty, is he?’
‘No. He’s quite introverted, but for all that he cares deeply about people. You can see that, and he’s very good at his job. I’m lucky he was prepared to come here permanently. He’s already implemented a lot of the changes asked for when we failed the inspection last Thursday. I’m hopeful the inspectors will be satisfied when they come back.’
Beth turned to him. ‘You’ve hardly mentioned that. You’ve never failed one before, have you? Will it be all right? What was wrong?’
Sami got up and put the kettle on. ‘The problem appeared to be that we were unable to account for some of the controlled medication, things like methadone and morphine.’
‘That sounds serious.’
‘It would be if we somehow lost a large quantity of them. As it is, the numbers are small and it could be a recording issue. The inspectors like a clean audit trail and Alex has been working hard to make sure the whole system is transparent. We’re also going to change some of our routines: more people will be checking at each stage. We will model ourselves on some of the best practice Alex has seen. It’s a good thing really. We should have been more on our game.’
‘Didn’t Kathleen do all the ordering and stock control?’
He paused, and Beth saw the lines of worry deepen on his forehead.
‘She did and, because she was so good, I left her to it. I shouldn’t have done that. I tried to explain that to the inspectors. They gave Kathleen quite a grilling on Thursday. I didn’t think that was fair.’
‘So, this was her fault?’
‘She may have made mistakes, but it wasn’t intentional. I did my best to reassure her.’
Beth gasped. ‘Could this be the horrendous mistake she said she made?’
‘Not if she said the mistake was before Christmas. The errors appeared from January onwards.’ Sami gave a half smile. ‘Which I have to say is a relief. I would hate that to have been on her mind. She had enough to worry about.’
Beth leapt on his words. ‘What do you mean, enough to worry about? What was this personal problem she had?’
He took two mugs off the mug tree. ‘It doesn’t matter. Anyway, I can’t tell you.’
Beth knew that once Sami closed down like this there was no point in pushing him, but it was annoying, and so in retaliation she snapped, ‘When Kathleen said everyone keeps secrets, I thought to myself, but not Sami. I was wrong, wasn’t I?’
Slowly Sami unscrewed the lid of the jar of coffee. He seemed to measure each grain into the mugs.
Finally, he answered. ‘I have no idea what she was talking about.’ He poured in the boiling water, added the milk and brought the mugs to the table.
‘I’ll be going up to King’s tomorrow as usual. The students will be expecting me. They have exams coming up.’
Beth looked over, saw a flash of pain shoot across his face, and felt a wave of compassion. ‘It’s been a terrible day, hasn’t it?’
He looked down at his mug. ‘I’ve been trying to look after people all day, be philosophical, tell people, “These things happen,” but inside it hasn’t sunk in at all.’
‘I know. If someone walked in now and told me it was a mistake, that Kathleen was fine, I think I could believe them.’
‘I keep thinking about Patrick,’ he said. ‘Yesterday he had his wife. Today she’s gone. I don’t know what I’d do if that was me. Me and the kids would fall apart without you. You are our safe place.’
Beth was too moved to reply, but Sami gave a weary smile and said, ‘Takeaway?’ He pushed himself out of his seat, went to get the menu out of the drawer. ‘Kebab?’
‘Great.’
‘You go and turn the TV on. I’ll bring you a glass of wine.’
When the kebabs arrived, the whole family sat round the TV, eating. Curled up on the sofa, Beth sat with a glass of wine in her hand, pushing away the events of the day. On TV the detective programme was doing a recap of the past few episodes: the highlights you need to remember to make sense of what was coming up. She realised that was happening in her head. Images of Kathleen talking to her, then the end of the garden cordoned off with tape, the police looking like aliens in their hooded overalls, then Kathleen’s cold, dead body, and now what? What happens now?
Beth put down her glass, picked up her tapestry, a cottage on a sunny day, but held the needle in mid air. Tonight, there was no escape.