That evening Beth went into the community room and tucked herself at the back of the class. She wore comfy jogging bottoms and a baggy t-shirt, nothing like the outfits of some of her friends. Kathleen was always in the latest gear but at least had never taken it too seriously. They’d both had a laugh when Gemma had added, ‘and for those of you who would like to go a bit further—’ She looked to the front, saw Gemma watching her, and was grateful for the knowing smile.
The session started. Beth found it good to have her mind taken up with the multitasking of yoga, remembering how to breathe as well as the positions she needed to try to do.
It was the end section that Beth and, she guessed, many others were waiting for. From the side of the room they all collected blankets. Some had even brought a pillow and a sleeping bag. Complete overkill as far as Beth was concerned, this wasn’t a sleep over: it was a ten minute relaxation at the end of the class.
Beth picked up her cardigan and lay down on her mat. The rather depressing music had started. She lay back and let her mind drift to her safe place. A house stood among fields, there was a little black cat, Ollie, hens and a garden that miraculously looked after itself while she sat on her swing seat reading. It was while she was turning the page of her book that she was brought back to the present by the sound of a gently tinkling bell. Reluctantly, they all started to sit up. Gemma at the front bowed to them. ‘Namaste,’ she said. The class reciprocated and started to roll up their mats.
‘Thanks, everyone. See you next Monday.’
Beth suddenly saw something glistening. She blinked, and then she saw her. More clearly than any person in the room, she saw Kathleen, who stood in front of Beth in that long white dress, pashmina round her shoulders. On her forehead was a gash, but her eyes told the same story of terror and dread she’d seen on Kathleen’s face when she had left her the night before she died. Beth reached out, her hand shaking, but in an instant Kathleen was gone.
Beth’s hands were shaking. She couldn’t move her feet. Someone touched her arm.
‘Are you all right?’
She blinked and saw Gemma. Her mouth trembled. ‘I saw her—’
Gemma put her arm around Beth. ‘Come and have a drink with me. It’s quiet. They can get me if they need me.’
They went through to the small pub part of the Hub, which was as quiet as Gemma had said. Beth waited until Gemma returned with two large glasses of red wine.
‘There you are,’ she said. ‘You thought you saw…?’
Beth picked up the glass, her hand still shaking slightly. ‘Kathleen. I’m sorry. Honestly, I think I’m going insane. I’ve never had anything like that before, not even after Mum died. I don’t believe in ghosts or anything. I know you do, but I never have.’
‘But something happened. I saw your face.’
‘I don’t know. I don’t understand.’
Gemma looked at her seriously. ‘Do you think Kathleen was trying to tell you something?’
‘She didn’t speak but, apart from the gash on her head, she had that same look on her face that she had on Sunday.’
‘And that was?’
Beth took a long sip of her wine. How to describe that look? ‘Fear, terror.’
‘Really? Whatever was the matter? I thought she’d have been over the moon celebrating her stunning new house.’
‘She had other things on her mind. We had this heavy conversation.’
Gemma picked up her glass but before she took a sip she asked, ‘Did she, um, did she mention a mistake she’d made?’
Beth grabbed the word. ‘She did, but she wouldn’t tell me what. Do you know what it was?’
Gemma shifted in her seat. ‘Ah, I thought she’d told you.’
‘No, but please tell me what it was.’
‘I don’t know. People talk to me here; a few pints and they tend to open up, a bit like a confessional. I don’t repeat much.’
‘But if it’s about Kathleen I need to know. Please. I’m desperate.’
Gemma took a deep breath. ‘OK.’
Beth waited.
‘It must have been around New Year. Kathleen was in here with Patrick for a meal. She walked past me to the toilets; she looked pretty upset. When she didn’t reappear for a while, I went in to see if she was all right. I found her in a right state, crying hysterically. She grabbed my arm and started to ramble on, about being her fault, what a mess… Well, I made an educated guess and asked her if it was a man, and it was like the flood gates opened.’
‘A man?’
Gemma nodded. ‘She said she’d slept with some man a few weeks before Christmas, but it was a terrible mistake.’
‘Kathleen had an affair!’ Beth sat back, her mouth open.
‘I wouldn’t call it an affair, more like a one night stand by the sound of it.’
‘But all the same – are you sure she meant it? She could have just been drunk—’
‘I don’t think she was that drunk, to be honest. No, she was serious. She came in the next day, told me she’d been talking rubbish, but she knew what she’d said and had meant it. She’d never so much as hinted to you about it?’
‘We’d not talked for a while. As you know, she’d stopped coming to yoga. I can’t believe it.’
Gemma paused, then said, ‘Is it really that unbelievable that someone like Kathleen had a fling? It didn’t surprise me at all. I think she was pretty insecure and could have been looking for someone to reassure her.’
‘But Kathleen had always told me how much she disapproved of any kind of infidelity, she called it a grave sin. I guess that was her Catholic upbringing. Anyway, why would she be insecure? Patrick adored her. Look at all those photos of her at their house: she was stunning.’
‘But when I visited the old house, the pictures I saw, and there were loads and they were huge, they were all of Kathleen years ago. If I was Kathleen, I’d feel that was the me he loved, and the pressure to stay like that would be soul destroying. No, if she found someone who told her how lovely she looked now, someone who made her feel good just as she was, well, she might have liked that.’
‘But she saw it as a mistake?’
‘I think she was deeply ashamed of what she did. I am sure she didn’t love the man, or I suppose he could have also been married?’
‘Have you any idea who it was?’
‘Nope. I assumed it was someone at the academy in London.’
‘And do you think Patrick had any idea?’
Gemma rubbed her lips together. ‘I don’t think so, but he was extra attentive after that visit. But I could have imagined that. I get bored sometimes and weave these intricate stories in my head about the people in here,’ said Gemma, smiling.
Beth sat twisting her wedding ring on her finger. This must be the mistake Kathleen had been talking about. Gemma’s explanation of someone at the academy made sense. So, who would have known? Who used it to have a hold over her?
‘You look ever so upset,’ said Gemma, suddenly serious. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you. Don’t let it spoil your memory of her. It was a mistake, that’s all. She told me how much she loved Patrick. Even if he did suspect something, all he wanted was to make their marriage work. These things happen in marriages.’
Beth sipped her wine. ‘It’s all right. I’m glad you told me. It’s like I’m trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle of what Kathleen said to me on Sunday, and I think this must be part of what was worrying her.’
She felt Gemma scrutinising her, as if she was trying to work her out. ‘Did Kathleen say anything else to you?’
Beth glanced around. There was no point in holding back now. The pub was nearly empty, but she lowered her voice. ‘It’s complicated. Kathleen told me someone was using this mistake, presumably the affair, to kind of blackmail her. Not for money but to stop Kathleen telling people about something she knew about them.’
‘My God! Who was it?’
‘I don’t know, she was too scared to tell me names. What Kathleen also told me on Sunday was that she’d informed this person that she wasn’t going to hide things any more. She was very scared of this person but had decided she was going to expose them. Obviously, she was prepared for them to tell the world about her affair.’
‘How did the person react?’
‘They were very angry. Kathleen was scared witless as to what this person might do, but she was determined, with my help, to have everything out in the open.’
‘She told you all this on Sunday evening?’
‘That’s right.’
‘And the next morning she died?’ said Gemma. ‘Do they know yet exactly what happened that morning?’
‘It’s early days. It looks like Kathleen was down the garden doing her mindfulness. She’d taken a part of the fence away. For some reason the hens got out. She was trying to stop them running over the cliff and fell herself.’
‘So, it looks like an accident?’
‘I think so. The police were looking for signs of anyone else down there, but they said so far, they’d not found anything. Also, they’ve asked about her state of mind. I don’t think there’s an indication of her taking her own life.’
‘I see. Is there anything you know of that might suggest it wasn’t an accident?’
‘There are one or two things, but I don’t know if they really mean anything. Take the hens. Kathleen told me she would never let the hens out until a proper fence was up, so how did they get out? Then there’s Kathleen’s phone. The police can’t find it or the headphones she used to listen to her mindfulness app on.’
‘Have you told the police about what Kathleen told you?’
Beth looked down. ‘I don’t think I should.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Sami told me to keep it to myself. He thinks as her death was most likely accidental, anything she said on Sunday evening should be kept private. He thinks it could upset people.’
‘But surely the police should know if someone was threatening her?’
‘The thing is, she didn’t give me any names or details and Sami said she was very emotional, not everything she said could be trusted—’ Beth hesitated, glanced around and lowered her voice again. ‘And there is another problem. You see, Kathleen claimed that this person who was threatening her was one of the people there at the house party on Sunday. We were a small group; they’re respected people, my friends. I can’t go around accusing people like that to the police without any evidence, can I?’
‘Who was at the party?’
‘Oh, just me and the family, Patrick and Kathleen, Conor, of course, and then Imogen, William and Elsa. Oh, and Alex.’
‘I see what you mean. None of them seems the sort to be going around threatening people.’
‘Exactly.’
Gemma grinned. ‘I know Imogen pretty well: scary kind of woman, but, no seriously, she’s a good head, cares a lot about her job, and she’s certainly licked that school into shape. Elsa is working here now so I am getting to know her better.’
‘And how do you find her?’
‘She’s not bad. Flirts too much, but she’s obviously bright, gets on with it. William, now, I don’t know much about him, what can you tell me?’
Beth smiled as she saw Gemma sit forward.
Beth spoke again. ‘Well, you know about five years ago, he met Imogen and they got married quickly. I’d never imagined Imogen marrying but I guess when you are older you know your own mind better.’
‘He’s very good looking and a great doctor according to everyone who talks to me. He picked up on my uncle’s problems and got him in to see a consultant within two weeks. That must be a miracle, in anyone’s book. William lived in London before, didn’t he?’ asked Gemma.
‘Yes, Imogen told me he was married up there to what she described as a “Made in Chelsea” kind of girl. According to Imogen, this woman thought it would be romantic to be married to a doctor, but it turned out not to be. William was very unhappy, let her have everything when they divorced, just wanted to get away.’
‘Blimey. Stupid girl, throwing someone like him overboard.’
‘I know, but still I think Imogen is a perfect match for him and actually her background is pretty similar to his.’ Beth paused, having got lost in the story. ‘Anyway, William and Imogen were at Kathleen’s on Sunday, but I can’t imagine a more upright pair, can you?’
‘No, and Alex seems nice. He’s been in a few times to eat. I feel sorry for him; not very talkative, but very polite.’
‘Of course, they are all good people; they are my friends, and yet—’
‘Yes?’
‘I believe Kathleen.’
‘But you don’t you have any idea who it could be?’
‘No. Kathleen said they were hiding this side of themselves, playing a part—’
‘She didn’t give you much to go on, did she?’ said Gemma.
‘She was too scared to tell me their name.’
‘You could see if you can find out a bit more and then go to the police if you have anything definite to tell them.’
‘I agree, and, despite what Sami said, I’ve started to tell people what Kathleen told me, see how they react, see if they can tell me anything, but I have to be careful. I don’t want to offend my friends—’ Beth sipped her wine. ‘I know what it’s like to be isolated, to be rejected by friends. It’s the worst feeling.’
‘No one is going to fall out with you. I think you’ll be the politest inquisitor ever.’ The smile melted into something more sober. ‘I think you need to do this, but you will be careful, won’t you? If you’re right, you do realise what this person could have done and it’s more than a few threatening words.’
Beth shuddered, sat forward, crossed her arms tight. ‘I’ve been too scared to think too much about that, but it has to be possible that this person drove over to Kathleen’s on Monday morning and decided to silence her once and for all. The thing is, for Kathleen’s sake I ought to try and find out what happened, I owe her that. But I’m scared, Gemma, and have no idea how I am going to do it.’
Gemma leant forward and tapped her knee. ‘Kathleen has faith in you; that’s why she came to you. You can do this but be careful now. Be very careful.’