“So what’s with Diane?” Richard asked as they slipped into their police cruiser. Richard was wasting no time in getting the “411” about Diane.
“I know. I’m sorry you got stuck with her. She’s insane.” Brody rolled his eyes as he raised the volume on the dispatch radio.
“I felt like a piece of raw meat for her to chew on and spit out.” Richard gave Brody a big grin. “How awesome is that?”
“Wait. What?” Brody couldn’t hide his surprise. Richard and Diane? Nah, it would never work.
“Muy caliente.” The devilish grin and wagging eyebrows looked almost out of place on Richard’s usually more serious face.
“Diane? As in… you and Diane? No. Bad idea. You two couldn’t be more different.” Diane and his partner? He couldn’t believe it.
“Friction is what makes the heat, my friend. Besides, I’m packing... and I also carry a gun.”
“Let’s leave the bad sexual puns to me,” Brody said but he was pleased that his partner was finally developing a sense of humor after years of being very literal in his approach to life.
Richard turned serious. “So, what happened with Myles last night?” he asked Brody. “How and why had he seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth?”
“He met some guy on Grindr and stayed with him all night. It was apparently a very active night. He said he didn’t wake up till almost eleven. I didn’t ask for the details but if I know Myles, he’s already smitten.”
“That’s great. Your plan worked.”
“I guess it did, right?” He should feel good about that, he thought; instead, he felt something he couldn’t quite place. Discouraged? But why? Things were working out in his favor.
“You should be happy. Looks like you’re off the hook. Beers on me tonight. You pick the place.”
He should be thrilled, Brody thought, but he wasn’t and didn’t know why. What a day he’d had so far. It was over now and nothing more to think about. Tonight drinks were on Richard. That was good enough for him.
Richard told Brody that he could pick the place. Of course, he picked his favorite dive bar complete with go-go boys and hot men. Why not? Brody thought. He’d been to his share of straight bars with Richard. It was only fitting that Richard come with him to his favorite. It was loud, as usual, and filled to capacity.
He and Richard now sat at the bar with drinks in front of them. Suddenly, a crotch gyrated in Richard’s face. It was Brody’s favorite go-go boy. Brody had tipped him heavily in the past, so this buff young dancer tried to coax a few tips out of Brody’s friend, obviously thinking he’d tip well too.
Richard leaned over toward Brody. “He clearly doesn’t know I carry a gun.”
“He likes you.” Brody took a five-dollar bill from his wallet and jammed it into the front of the dancer’s skimpy shorts to appease the dancer.
“Great. Now he’s going to like me that much more!”
“Hey, I’ve gone to enough titty bars. You can get your go-go on with me.”
“In that case, I need another drink!” Richard waved over to one of the shot boys and held out a bill. It was a shot boy who was working the room selling “mouth shots”. He picked up the bottle from the tray he carried and drank from it. Then he grabbed Richard by the head and spits the alcohol into his mouth.
Richard jumped off of the barstool and spat furiously. He rubbed his mouth hard with the back of his hand trying to wipe off the germs from the shirtless twink’s mouth. Brody had never seen him move so quickly and he’d seen him take down armed perps in the past.
The bar was suddenly quiet, everyone staring.
“What the hell are you doing?” Richard was angry. He seized the boy’s arm as everyone else looked on astounded. Suddenly, Richard realized where he was and how he was reacting. The kid was only doing his job, and the tray he carried did advertise “Mouth shots for five dollars”.
“I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard,” Richard apologized, realizing he appeared not only homophobic but like a bully, as well.
The tension in the bar suddenly disappeared as the boy scampered away. Richard turned and gave Brody a dirty look.
“I was going to warn you about that.” Brody laughed
He rolled his eyes. “No, you weren’t.”
“They’re called mouth shots for a reason,” Brody explained, realizing that Richard could never know that since it wasn’t something that ever occurred in a straight bar.
“What the hell other kind of shots are there?”
Brody stared at him as if to say, “I can elaborate on the subject if you’d care for me to.”
“Okay, I really don’t want to know,” Richard said as he checked his watch. “All right,” he told Brody. “I gotta run.”
“Where are you going?”
“I told Diane we could meet later. After she got off work.”
One quick drink and Richard was planning on leaving? That was bad enough. Brody was looking forward to drinking with his partner tonight. But to leave him to meet up with Diane? Oh, no, Brody thought. Diane was fun and cool but definitely not Richard’s type. He hadn’t thought about what Richard’s type was before this very instant, but Diane? Definitely not.
Richard was the greatest guy with the biggest heart. Diane was a sassy, wisecracking, sex-crazed powerhouse. The two were compete opposites, totally incompatible. Like he and Myles were. Brody knew that Richard would have to learn the hard way that he and Diane were a bad idea.
“You’re just going to leave me here alone?” Brody asked.
“You’re not alone. You have your friend here to keep you company.” Richard was referring to the go-go dancer in front of him. Richard pulled a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet and waved it in front of the dancer. He obviously had chosen not to stuff it in his thong. Richard smiled to himself before handing the money to Brody to stuff it in the dancer’s thong for him.
Richard told the dancer, “This is so you’ll pay a little extra attention to my friend.” He indicated Brody.
The dancer plucked the money from Richard’s hand, and with a wink let Richard know he’d make good on the exchange. Richard patted his partner on the back and headed out of the bar on his way to Diane’s.