Maya
I heard a knock on my hotel room door. I wiped my tears. I knew that if someone was knocking, it was probably Carter.
I went to the door and opened it. Carter was there and swept into my room.
“I’m not here to convince you to be less hard on your dad. And I don’t think he’s serious about cutting back on your monthly budget.”
“Good, because I don’t feel like Dad gets it. I know it’s just Dad’s way, but he’s way too much.”
“If you tell your father that you don’t want to follow in his footsteps, I will support you.”
I was confused. What did he mean? Carter had already said to me that my dad had me register my stupid LLC because Dad wanted me to be an entrepreneur. “Wait, what did you say about my monthly budget?”
“He threatened to decrease it.”
My eyebrows shot up. “I don’t really have an allowance. Dad’s finance people just take care of paying off my credit cards every month. I tend not to get close to the actual limit.” There had been a few times I had thought I might hit it, but Dad always got more credit when I wanted more. “Are you telling me he’s threatening me? I’m not a little kid.”
“No, you’re not a little kid.”
My face flushed. “I’m not shallow and willing to do whatever Dad wants just to keep his money.”
“I never meant that. I meant that I’d support you emotionally while you confront Paul about the real path you want to take.”
I could feel more tears spilling out. “Get out.”
I could see the clear confusion on his face. He was a dream boyfriend in a lot of respects, and on the surface offering to support me against my dad was a great thing. But Dad and I were so close that having one of his employees conspire with me, even to give me what I wanted, was bad. And I didn’t know if what Carter was telling me about Dad threatening my monthly cash flow was real. He could be trying to drive a wedge between us for office politics. He already had a close relationship with Dad. I wasn’t able to read Carter’s motives anymore. I felt like having a romantic relationship clouded everything.
“If that’s what you want.” Carter got up and left the room, letting my door close behind him.
I flopped on the bed. I’d never had a real relationship before, so these were uncharted waters. I had probably overreacted, but I didn’t know what I was doing at all. I’d rolled my eyes over all the group chats I’d read over the years from my friends about their relationships, but now I understood why dating was a constant state of confusion. Dad never thought that being an influencer was a real job. I made a TikTok video with one of the music clips I’d saved as cool and posted it. I hadn’t been posting as much, and I had a few comments wondering where I’d gone to.
I didn’t make very much money off of TikTok because I didn’t chase down sponsors like most of the girls with follower counts like mine. If Dad cut me off financially, I didn’t know how to make money. I was still completely dependent on him and his goodwill. Until now, Dad had never outright threatened to cut down on my expenses. I was allowed to buy pretty much anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. I literally didn’t know how to budget because there was just a monthly number that I had to stay under most of the time. Dad let me travel accompanied by my friends internationally, and a lot of the time I picked up the flight and hotel bills so that they didn’t stress about them. The average college student couldn’t live the lifestyle I did.
I knew I should get my room key and apologize to Carter, but tears started streaming down my face. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know if I should keep pushing myself to be a bigger social media influencer if it encouraged my stalker. I didn’t know if I should or could keep sleeping with Carter when Dad was around. I didn’t know if my dad would cut off my money when I was still in school. Overthinking all the worries I had, I cried myself to sleep.