3rd December 2017
Dear Wife,
We did it. 2017—the year we tied the knot, became hitched, sealed the deal. Got me the old ball and chain, the trouble and strife, her indoors, didn’t I?
Highlights from the wedding: YOU. The dress you chose with those lace panel things—you looked amazing. I couldn’t stop sneaking glances through the service.
MY SURPRISE—I knew how much you’d love it if Miles and Poppy were involved somehow and, yes, it took forever to get them all to learn it but it was SO worth it. I’ll never forget your face when Pharrell Williams began and Miles appeared in those oversized sunglasses, all our friends screaming when they realized what was happening. And who knew Dad could body pop? Every time I hear the first strains of that song, I’m transported back to a sandy dance floor in Ibiza with everyone I love in a tight circle around you and me. I think of Mum, somewhere above us, laughing about Dad moaning about getting sand on his posh wedding suit. Why did the man wear a three-piece suit in such hot weather in the first place?
We played it endlessly for weeks afterward and it still makes me smile months later.
Being married to you feels absolutely right. Also I feel like a trendsetter too now that Ed has taken the plunge and proposed. And I KNOW you are going to try and persuade Hattie to get mini Connect 4’s at theirs—and I will support you in that. Haha.
But that day, that week in Ibiza on our honeymoon, just the two of us, has brought other things into sharper focus. Wedding planning, parenting, work, committees, sporting fixtures, book launches—we lead such busy, full lives and I like that we do separate things—that we used to come together and tell each other about the people we work with or saw that day. But in the last couple of years we barely do things as a couple. And if we’re together inevitably one or both of the kids is there too. Making those vows reminded me that all this starts and ends with us.
We need to keep carving out time for each other—it’s so easy to just collapse next door to each other and not really talk. Or swap endless details about the kids and forget to ask anything else. I know I’m guilty of that. But in the past, when we’ve set aside time out together to do things we both love, it has always brought us closer. Because we haven’t always acted like a couple, we’ve shared the same space but we’ve been focused on different things. Sometimes I convince myself it’s healthy, it’s good to have separate lives, but not when one person is unhappy, or struggling. So, even though I didn’t think two rings would really change things for us, it’s a reminder that we should be sharing our lives together. Now, don’t panic, I’m not going to start tagging along to all your book launches and asking your authors how they all write good, but I am going to make you sit down with me and the wall calendar and ensure we are putting ourselves front and center.
This year has been a reminder that I love you so much, that we have drifted apart at times but that we are best together.
So here’s hoping we can keep making that effort. I love you, gorgeous wife.
Dan x