| 65 | Break one of your own rules |
Some rules are essential, like the rules we give ourselves about being true to our friends, doing well in school, and staying safe. But in some cases, breaking your own rules can feel good. If you’re the type who “is always in bed at 10 p.m. sharp” or “flosses every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday” or “will never eat sushi,” you may be abiding by rules worth breaking. Sometimes we hold on to certain rules because we were raised with them or we’re used to them, not because they necessarily apply anymore. Strict rules divide things into black and white, but the real world is made up of shades of gray, and if you’re too strict about rules, you’ll never find out if you should keep them or not.
HOW TO DO IT
Figure out what your rules are. You might not realize that you have rules, because you’re so used to them. Think of your phobias, your pet peeves, and all the times you’ve said no when you could have said yes (or vice versa) without serious consequences. Chances are that some sort of “rule” you’ve made for yourself is causing you to make the decisions you’re making.
Consider all the things you supposedly “hate,” or “would never do” or (alternatively) “would always do,” and ask yourself if there’s a really, really good reason behind it, or if you can afford to relax your standards just a little bit—even if only once. If you let go for a bit, you might find that the rule isn’t for you anymore.
Of course, this does not apply to unsafe situations or the rules of your school. Don’t drink an entire keg if you’ve been sober all your life, don’t break dorm regulations, and don’t eat food you’re allergic to—those kinds of rules exist for a reason.