Jandu stood still as a statue, too shocked to move. Suddenly, Suraya ran to him, gripping him fiercely, sobbing onto his breastplate.
“It’s all right,” Jandu said, rubbing her back, although he didn’t know why he said it, because it wasn’t true. “It’s over.”
Suraya’s reaction seemed almost strange to him. A deep, icy coldness welled up inside him. Yudar’s words were too cruel to ever be forgiven. If Jandu felt anything at all, it was almost relief, relief that Yudar could no longer break his heart, because he had no love left for his brother.
But he still loved Suraya, so he comforted her as if the insult was hers.
Baram’s eyes filled with tears, but he squeezed them constantly, as if letting tears fall would be an admission to something unacceptable. Baram said nothing to Jandu, but he spat on the ground by Keshan.
“You have taken my brother from me,” he growled. And then he left the tent.
Jandu wanted to go to Keshan. Keshan looked more fragile than he had ever seen him, standing by the tent flap, eyes dark with pain. Jandu disentangled Suraya’s arms from around him. He wiped her face and tried to give her a reassuring smile.
“At least he didn’t have us executed,” Jandu said. “Not that we would have stayed around for that.”
Suraya shook her head. “I can’t believe you told him! I just can’t believe it!” She wiped her eyes. “What will you do now?”
Jandu picked up his helmet, which had fallen off in his tussle with Yudar, and brushed off the sand. “We’ll go to the forest outside the camp. I’m not leaving the battlefield, regardless of what Yudar says. If there’s a way I can help from the sidelines, then I will do it.”
Suraya nodded, as if making a decision herself. “Give me a few minutes. I’ll pack you some provisions.”
Jandu kissed the top of her head. “What would I do without you, Suraya?”
“I will speak with Baram,” Suraya said. “Maybe he will see reason.” She left the tent.
Jandu wanted to pull Keshan to him, but something about Keshan’s expression stopped him.
“We should go quickly before word spreads,” Keshan said.
Jandu nodded. It would only be a matter of time before everyone in camp knew what happened. Yudar would be required to give some explanation as to why his brother, the general of his army and fourth in line for the throne, was suddenly banished. Jandu doubted that Yudar would tell the whole truth, but he also knew Yudar well enough to know he wouldn’t lie outright. So as Jandu numbly made his way towards his tent, he began to imagine what all these people would think when they saw him again. Right now, he was a respected leader of men, a hero about to begin a war for his family’s honor. By tomorrow, he would be, at best, an exile shunned by his family, and at worst, a sexual deviant.
Inside Jandu’s tent, he and Keshan worked quickly. They packed anything that could be eaten or that could kill. He stuffed his bedding and his clothes in a trunk. As he reached for his quiver, his hand hesitated, and he stared at the arrows inside with a sudden, absolute, sense of loss.
He wasn’t going to fight tomorrow.
He wasn’t going to kill Darvad, or get his revenge on Chandamar. He would have to watch his family fight Darvad, Mazar, and Tarek without him. All his expectations of sweet justice, revenge, victory, it had all, in one moment, been taken from him.
Jandu’s sank to his knees. Yudar had stolen Jandu’s freedom, gambled away Jandu’s body, and now had robbed Jandu of his right to justice. Jandu choked on this bitter, last betrayal of a man who he had once loved.
“Jandu?”
He quickly stood back up and took a breath. He had to remain calm, for Keshan’s sake.
Keshan hesitated at the flap of his tent. “Are you ready?”
Jandu nodded. The two of them silently pried loose the tent stakes and folded the large fabric, leaving the furniture inside exposed to the dust and wind. Jandu rolled up the carpets and stacked them on his trunk. The few men still awake gathered around, watching by torchlight and asking questions which neither of them answered.
It was an awkward trek, the two of them carrying their belongings through the warm, breezy darkness of the camp. Suraya met them at the western gate and lighted their way into the thick forest with a torch. Jandu picked a soft clearing in the woods near the stream for camp, and Suraya started a fire as Jandu and Keshan pitched the tent and laid down the carpets. Suraya helped them unpack bed rolls and left them a large basket of food, several lamps, and wine.
Suraya fretted over the campsite like a mother hen, smoothing down the fabric of the flap, double checking the thickness of the bed rolls, and adding more branches to the fire before finally allowing Jandu to steer her home.
“Baram will worry if you’re gone too long,” Jandu said, urging her through the woods back to the bright safety of the camp.
Suraya stepped carefully over the uneven surface of the dark forest. Jandu recalled the awful night she had tripped on just such a thick forest floor. The memory was like a physical pain.
At the gate, Suraya cried again. The guards watched the two of them as they embraced. Finally Jandu kissed Suraya’s cheek and told her to go. He watched her small frame until it disappeared behind the tents of the infantry.
In the darkness, Jandu made his way back to Keshan.
◆◆◆
By the time Jandu returned, Keshan had finished setting up camp. He had a pot of tea on the fire, and as soon as Jandu sat on one of the logs near the flames, Keshan handed him a cup. The tea was overly sweet, one of Keshan’s bad habits whenever he prepared something, but Jandu decided now was not the time to tease Keshan about his sweet tooth. Keshan sipped at his tea, and then placed the ceramic cup on the ground. He covered his face with his hands and hunched over.
“Oh, Jandu, how can you bear to be with me?”
The question was so unexpected Jandu choked on his response. He crossed his arms and stared at Keshan.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Keshan’s voice was muffled by his hands. “I’ve ruined you! I’ve destroyed your life!”
“Listen to me.” Jandu crouched beside Keshan, and put his hand on Keshan’s knee. “I’m fine, I’m alive. Nothing has been destroyed, other than my tolerance for Yudar’s hypocrisy.”
Keshan shook his head. “I thought I was here to make a difference. To change our society. It turns out I am nothing, Jandu. I’m a fool with delusions of grandeur.” Keshan stood and stared at the distant lights of the Uru camp. “I had such unshakeable faith that my vision of the future would come true. And now, look at us! My brother is over there. And I cannot touch him. And here you are, living off leftovers with an untouchable lover, hiding from your own family.” Keshan’s expression broke, and the tears finally fell.
Keshan sat on the forest floor and sobbed into his hands. Jandu watched, unsure what comfort he could offer. There was nothing he could say that would alter the truth. They had sacrificed everything to be together.
Jandu sat beside him and let him cry. When Keshan’s breathing finally slowed and his tears stopped, Jandu placed his hand on Keshan’s lower back.
When Keshan didn’t respond, Jandu continued. “Nothing that has happened changes the truth of your words. You told me once that it would take the death of the entire Triya class to bring about this new era. We cannot change these people. We may not have imagined the cost we would pay to fulfill your vision. But we will make it happen, I swear to you.”
Keshan lifted his head from his hands, his eyes red-rimmed, his breathing ragged. “What if… What if I am wrong?”
“You’re not.”
“How can you know this?” Keshan cried. “How? When I don’t even know myself? I’ve ruined your life for nothing!”
Jandu moved his hand upwards to cup the back of Keshan’s neck. He forced Keshan to face him. “You’re not wrong.”
“Why not?” Keshan cried.
“Because… you’re Keshan.”
A flicker of annoyance flashed across Keshan’s eyes, and Jandu felt relief. Annoyance was a great improvement over fear. It was much more like the Keshan he knew.
“I believe in you,” Jandu said emphatically. “I believe you. That’s all that matters.”
Keshan pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Jandu left his hand on the back of Keshan’s neck, massaging the tense muscles there.
“I don’t feel like a man with a mission from God,” Keshan said quietly. “I don’t even feel like a man. I feel dead inside. Heartbroken.”
“What you feel right now will pass,” Jandu assured him. “It can’t change who you really are.”
“But if I am truly doing God’s work, then why does this hurt so badly? Why couldn’t I have protected you better?”
Jandu leaned forward and kissed Keshan’s cold lips. “You have saved my life, and my honor,” Jandu said with conviction. “You and I are destined to be together.”
Keshan leaned into Jandu’s shoulder. Their shadows flickered against the tree limbs. Jandu waited for Keshan to find his inspiration again.
For a moment, Jandu thought Keshan had fallen asleep. There was no sound from him, no movement. His face was buried into Jandu’s neck. Jandu’s arm muscles strained in such an extended position, and there was a twig or a rock cutting into his thigh, making him want to move. But he stayed there, waiting.
Finally, Keshan sniffed. “Remember when we were last in this forest?”
Jandu smiled. “That was the most exciting night of my life.”
“I was a different person then.” Keshan sounded sad.
“Me too.” Jandu sighed. “But that doesn’t change what we set out to do back then. You wanted justice. I wanted vengeance against my cousin. And here, at Terashu Field, we will have both.”
Keshan looked up then. Lines of exhaustion creased his face. “I’m so sorry, Jandu. For everything.”
“Don’t be.”
Keshan sighed. “What will we do now?”
Jandu was silent for a long time before answering.
“My whole life, I’ve been told to do one thing—to support my king, my brother, and I have done that.” Jandu poked at the fire with a stick. “I’ve been through too much in the last three years to let anyone, even Yudar, stray me from my path. Yudar will be king and he will fulfill his oath to restore your caste or I will kill him myself.”
A flicker of light suddenly appeared behind Keshan. Jandu jumped up, unsheathing his sword.
In silence, the ethereal glow moved closer. The light surrounded their camp, coming in from all sides, small pinpricks at first, growing larger.
For one irrational moment, Jandu thought Yudar had told the army that Jandu was an invert and they had formed a mob to kill him. But as the eerie blue light expanded, it took on the vague shape of men and women, marching towards them, surrounding their camp and standing still, as if on guard.
“What’s going on?” Jandu whispered to Keshan.
Keshan stood as well. He narrowed his eyes. “Yashvas.”
Suddenly, one of the lights burst into their world, so brightly that Jandu had to shield his eyes with his hand. He heard Keshan drop to his knees beside him.
“King Mendraz!” Keshan said.
Jandu dropped to his knees as well, peeking through his fingers at the demon as his glow lessened. In the human world, he was still painfully bright, especially in the heavy darkness of the forest.
“King Mendraz,” Jandu mumbled, lowering his head further. “You honor us with your presence.”
“Rise, Jandu and Keshan,” Mendraz spoke, his voice heavy and accented, filling Jandu’s ears painfully. Jandu stood once more. He helped Keshan stand beside him.
Mendraz offered them the sign of peace. “I have not forgotten your assistance, friends of the Yashva, and I am here now to honor that friendship. Our Yashva army will fight beside you in the war.”
Jandu felt stunned with the honor. In a thousand years of Marhavad history, no human army had ever been supported by the demons. To have Mendraz’ support now was the greatest tribute Jandu could ever have hoped for.
“My lord,” Jandu said, his voice heavy with emotion. “While you have honored me greatly with your allegiance, it is my sad duty to inform you that neither Keshan nor I will not be fighting tomorrow.”
Mendraz’s face seemed to frown, although it was always hard to tell with him, his eyes spinning, his blue-colored flesh flickering like phosphorescence.
“What has happened?” Mendraz demanded.
Jandu bowed his head. “My lord, I have been banished from Prince Yudar’s army after informing my brother that Keshan Adaru and I are lovers.”
Mendraz and the rest of the body-shaped lights in the forest flickered in silence for a long, agonizing minute. Then he said, “Does he not find Keshan’s Yashva blood suitable to your station as a prince? He is of very good lineage.” A note of affronted Yashva pride sounded in Mendraz’ voice.
Jandu sighed. “My lord, I have every intention of staying in this forest and protecting the Paran army as best I can. But I will not be able to fight with you on the battlefield.”
“Then we will not be on the battlefield either,” Mendraz stated. “We are allied with you, not your brother. My personal guards will stay here in the forest and protect you, and should you join the battle, they will be with you.”
Keshan bowed low. “Thank you, my lord, for your support in our time of need.”
Jandu wondered why the other Yashva did not materialize. They remained shrouded figures of light, hovering between the human and Yashva worlds. Jandu realized that half of them would probably be fighting in this war, against their will. Mazar’s knowledge of shartas alone could call all of them into action.
Mendraz made the sign of peace once more. “Be well, brave Jandu. Come here, Keshan.”
Keshan approached Mendraz, head down. Mendraz reached out and pulled Keshan into his arms. Jandu stepped back as light blazed through the Yashva’s body and into Keshan’s. Thunderous words crashed through the air around them as Mendraz and Keshan burned in the darkness. Jandu clamped his hands over his ears. Alarm filled Jandu.
“You are forgiven for your offence against Firdaus,” Mendraz said.
And then Mendraz let go, and stepped backwards, his light fading as he shrank back into the Yashva kingdom. He joined the hundreds of other lights surrounding them. They did not disappear, however. Their camp remained washed in a bluish light as they stood guard around Jandu and Keshan’s tent.
“Are you all right?” Jandu asked, gripping Keshan’s shoulders.
Keshan look startled, his eyes wide. But then he smiled. “Wait a moment.”
“For what?”
Keshan closed his eyes, raised his arms up, and then faded from sight. Jandu squinted in the darkness, but could only see a glimmer of light where Keshan had stood. A moment later, Keshan returned, laughing.
“I’m back!” Keshan cried.
“What do you mean?”
“I can enter the Yashva kingdom again!” Keshan laughed, and curled his arm around Jandu’s waist, pulling him close.
Jandu embraced Keshan, nuzzling his sweet-smelling hair. “A celestial army! Immortal Yashva! We would have been invincible.”
Keshan finally smiled, looking like the self-assured man Jandu fell in love with on his wedding day. “We still will be.”