Once I looked into the mirror and saw a young girl named Tyler. Now when I look into the mirror, I don’t know who I am. All I know is I died when I began to lie to others and to myself. It started as one lie here and one lie there and pretty soon I became someone else.
It began on my eighteenth birthday. That day should have been the best day of my life. It started out that way of course. I woke to a beautiful summer day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened that morning, except I heard doves cry, and that was probably a warning sign. I said good bye to my parents and headed off to my high school graduation ceremony.
This day would have been wonderful even if I wasn’t rich like my class mates, or popular, or beautiful. I had none of those qualities but one. I was the girl most likely to succeed if I had money and had the parentage. At my private school, I managed to pull off a 4.0, which wasn’t easy with the rumors and threats vaulted in my direction. All because I study and could pass subjects that anyone with a little extra effort could have done.
The girls were jealous but they never gave me a second thought because I never attended their parties or glanced in the direction of their boyfriends. That was all they cared about. Grades were nothing. They could buy a grade if they had to, but a good looking rich boy, now that was a horse of a different color. These pretentious girls would have cut my hair, run me down with their Porsches and spread the most obscene gossip about me if I opened my mouth to mention their boyfriend’s names.
Throughout my years at Capitol Institute for the gifted and talented, most of the girls in this private school were gifted and talented as long as they had a hard grasp on mommy and daddy’s wallets to guarantee they would remain that way.
Girls like me who worked their asses off to escape the inevitable, never got a break unless they received good grades. At the time I didn’t understand the importance of youth and money, but I did understand the importance of an education.
I stood before that crowd of she devils and gave my valedictorian speech. Eyes rolled, curses were mouthed as I tried to read my illustrious speech. The only one sat there and listened to me was Christina and my parents.
Thanks to Chris my best friend, otherwise, my life would have been a living hell, and she was my only friend for four long years.
I was poor in friends, and just plain poor. I couldn’t afford the money to pay for anything but an occasional pizza, and in the evenings when the cafeteria was closed, I hid away in the library and ate tuna sandwiches. I spent more energy worrying about whether someone would notice that my family was broke, it was a wonder I graduated, but graduate I did.
My parents, George and Nora Burns were blue collar workers who happen to save a few dollars to pay for a home when the economy was doing ok. But my father loss his job and had been out of work for four years. In his sixties, and when the employment picture improved, no one wanted to hire him.
When I broke the news to my parents that I had won a scholarship to a prestigious high school, instead of them jumping for joy, they put their heads down and prayed. That’s all they seem to do lately is pray for me, and play the lottery.
The scholarship I received to attend this absurdly expensive school wasn’t worth the embarrassment I felt every minute of the day. But I was there and I had to adjust. I walked with my head bent and ear plugs on most times so as not to listen to the rich girls’ chatter. The whispers sounded like this, “What is she doing here?” and that I was clearly out of my element and out of my class. “Where did you buy that dress?” And a chorus of girls would chant, “Goodwill,” And the laughs would follow. They weren’t wrong. They were just cruel.
I made it through the embarrassment of cheap clothing, bullying, and today I’m graduating. Although I can pick my choice of universities and colleges, I will go to a local college and get a job, where I can help my mother and father pay for their home. I’m by no means as honorable as I appear. I want to be selfish and uncaring and obnoxious and spoiled as the girls in my school are, trust me, I’ve had plenty of examples, but I just can’t afford to be a narcissist. It takes time and money and I have none.
Nevertheless, I’m proud of myself for making it through the hardest years of my life. It wasn’t the teachers and the classes. That was easy. All I had to do was study. And study I did. I ate and slept with my books. If the girls didn’t speak well of me the teachers did.
Whenever a teacher asked another teacher about me they would say, “Tyler Burns, yes, she’s the best student in this school and I’m proud to have her in my class.” But I overheard old Mr. Bankston my English teacher say, “I agree, but she’s too quiet,” he whispered. “You never know what she’s thinking, and I never know she’s in class until I ask a question, and then finally she comes alive.” Then he would end it with, “Too quiet, not assertive enough.” And he would shake his head and shuffle on to class. Mr. Bankston was snoozing most of the time, the other times he had his head planted in a sandwich, and he didn’t know who was in his class let alone me.
I walked on stage and accepted my diploma as the valedictorian of my senior class and became invisible, wearing my cheap designer knockoff, under that expensive cap and gown.
My life changed, I changed when I caught the eyes of Brandon Charles, the most handsome, riches, smartest, and soon to be married senior at Princeton University.