Pros: Good jaw. Piercing eyes. Makes you feel like you’re the only one in the room. Funny.
Cons: Amal is clever, beautiful and we really like her.
2. Idris Elba
Pros: Arms that go right round. Twinkly handsomeness. Calming bedtime stories voice.
Cons: Too popular with other girls. Too many dangerous speedy / fighty hobbies combined with too many white T-shirts to maintain.
3. Frank Sinatra
Pros: He’s got me under his skin. Well connected.
Cons: Too small. Is dead.
4. Emma Willis
Pros: Great hair so I can share / steal products. Smells lovely (I imagine).
Cons: Too tall in heels.
5. Nigel Farage
Pros: None.
Cons: Infinite.
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