THE BAR
Marty walks into the bar and sees Layla sitting home.
MARTY: Layla.
She seems pleased.
LAYLA: Giovanni?
MARTY: No, actually, I’m Marty.
LAYLA: Well, you got the wrong gal, Marty. Wait a minute. How do you know my name?
MARTY: I’m a friend of Giovanni’s.
LAYLA: That’s interesting. Is he meeting you here as well.
MARTY: No.
LAYLA: Am I going to get a prize if I figure this out?
MARTY: No, I’ll explain.
LAYLA: Goody.
Marty can’t figure out how to put it.
MARTY: Okay, I’m here. Normally I wouldn’t be here, but things have changed for me over the last few months, and I am most certainly here. What the hell. You are very pretty, and I’m your date tonight. Giovanni was, but he’s not, and that’s that.
Layla takes a few beats to process.
LAYLA: This is great.
MARTY: I think so, too.
LAYLA: That was sarcasm.
MARTY: I see.
LAYLA: I mean, I literally can’t win.
MARTY: I take it that means you don’t find me appealing.
LAYLA: No, I’m sure you’re fantastic.
MARTY: I don’t know.
LAYLA: Look, I’m going to try and be very candid here.
MARTY: That’s acceptable.
LAYLA: I didn’t want to be here in the first place. For the first time in my life, and you’ll have to excuse my need to speak my mind to a complete and total stranger, but for the first time I don’t need anything. Certainly not this. And this isn’t even this. It’s something else.
Marty waits.
LAYLA: Friend of mine says I got this guy you have got to meet, she might as well have said there’s this insurance seminar you gotta check out. Not into it, and not to mention this guy’s name is Giovanni. I mean, who names a child Giovanni? This is obviously not the point, but sometimes it can just be the little things. Anyway, here we are, Marty?
MARTY: Yes.
LAYLA: Marty, I’m sure you are excellent. I’m sure you are the cat’s claws or scratch or whatever, but I don’t know what I’m doing here, and now on top of that, I’m confused and almost offended, but it really has nothing to do with you. You see?
MARTY: I do.
Layla stands up.
MARTY: But you’re here. And I think I understand your position, but think of me, if you can. I’m here, and I’m not even someone that someone else thought would be a great guy for you to meet. I’m just here because the great guy couldn’t make it. I’m a great guy filler. So for my sake, and you can leave this or take it, but I think you should allow me to buy you a drink.
Layla takes a beat.
MARTY: At the very least, exchange some pleasantries, and who knows…
She sits down.
LAYLA: Who knows. You drink beer?
MARTY: I can.
LAYLA: Let’s have a beer.
MARTY: Okay.
A waitress comes by and places a couple of beers on the table.
MARTY: Excellent.
They toast and have a sip.
MARTY: So, what are you doing here?
LAYLA: You don’t listen so good, do you?
MARTY: Why show up, I mean? If you were so against it. You’re here, you could have said no.
LAYLA: I think I have a few answers.
MARTY: I drink slow.
LAYLA: I guess the answer is that you never really know, right?
MARTY: I would say that.
LAYLA: You did.
MARTY: Right.
LAYLA: I would also say that maybe in life when you don’t want to do certain things, it’s probably a good idea to immediately move forward and do them.
MARTY: I don’t know.
LAYLA: Well, neither do I and that’s why I’m saying what I’m saying. I’m certainly not saying it because I believe it.
MARTY: You know, keeping in mind that there’s very little chance of anything, let alone this, working out, and by working out, I mean finishing this beer, I’m guessing it would be a good idea to skip making points that we don’t believe are valid. Respectfully, of course.
LAYLA: No, that’s fair.
MARTY: Nice. Look at us.
Layla smiles.
MARTY: Nice smile by the way.
She smiles again.
MARTY: So?
LAYLA: My good friend, Terrance.
MARTY: Tell me about him.
LAYLA: He says a lot of things that I try really hard to avoid and at the same time believe, but I have the utmost respect for him so I try and do the latter more often than not.
MARTY: You talk funny.
LAYLA: Thank you.
MARTY: Terrance.
LAYLA: Terrance.
MARTY: I like it by the way. I didn’t mean I don’t.
Layla tips her glass.
MARTY: To Terrance.
They drink.
LAYLA: He really is the best. I’m an actor, or an actress, they changed it a few years ago. I’m supposed to be offended by actress. It’s actor now. Female actor.
MARTY: Me, too.
Layla waits.
MARTY: Actor, not offended by actress. But why would I be?
LAYLA: I’m not really either, it’s just one of those things.
MARTY: Right.
LAYLA: Anyway, he’s my agent.
MARTY: He good?
LAYLA: He’s the best.
MARTY: I might need his number.
LAYLA: Rough out there right now.
MARTY: Tell me about it.
LAYLA: You should meet Terrance.
MARTY: I can’t wait.
LAYLA: So, aside from being very good at his job, and don’t ask me to explain what that means, because I have no idea, but he is, more importantly he’s a good friend. Maybe that’s what it is. All these people you meet and get to know and throw away and keep, I mean in a business, this business. Maybe that’s it. What’s the difference? Maybe that’s what makes them good or bad or expendable or not. I don’t know what I’m saying really.
MARTY: Keep going.
LAYLA: Terrance told me to come here and meet you. Well, not you, whatsisname.
MARTY: You’ve moved on already.
They drink.
LAYLA: So, here I am, here we are. You?
MARTY: I don’t know. I’m here because I’m in a good mood. Because I feel like it might be a good idea for the same reasons you don’t believe. And I’m not really sure I believe them either, but I’m here and I have no explanation. I spend a good amount of time thinking about everything, and I’ve come to the conclusion that all the things I was very confident about, the older I get, just seem to slip further away. So I guess I’m just left with the fact that I know nothing. Things hurt, and I guess they’re supposed to. I hate the idea, and surrendering to it, but it’s just the way it is, I’m finding. Is this too much? Or too confusing?
LAYLA: Maybe.
MARTY: Sorry.
LAYLA: Let’s do something else.
MARTY: Okay.
LAYLA: Only because I like you.
MARTY: You do?
LAYLA: Enough to finish this beer.
They drink.
MARTY: Okay, so what are we doing.
LAYLA: I changed my mind. Let’s keep doing what we’re doing. I was going to change it up, keep it light, and then I realized I hate that idea. I like it. This. We’re talking. I don’t even know what your favorite color is.
MARTY: I don’t have one.
LAYLA: Good, because I just decided I don’t want to talk about it, or anything like it. Let’s keep talking like we know each other. It’s fun. Who cares if it feels weird or too much. And who cares if we say something stupid.
MARTY: I’ll tell you anything you want to know.
Layla thinks. Marty just stares.
LAYLA: What?
Marty just stares.
LAYLA: Say something stupid.
MARTY: Why?
LAYLA: I’ll tell you later.
MARTY: Okay. Let’s go on a trip together.
LAYLA: Okay. Where?
MARTY: You ever been to Hawaii?
Layla thinks.
LAYLA: No, I have not.
MARTY: Let’s go.
LAYLA: Are you serious?
MARTY: I think I am.
LAYLA: You think?
MARTY: No. I’m positive. What difference does it make? I dig you.
LAYLA: You do?
MARTY: I really do and something tells me we should get to some sand.
LAYLA: You know what would be funny?
MARTY: Short people trying to dunk a basketball?
LAYLA: That, too, but no. It would be funny if we really went and got into the sand.
MARTY: With our feet?
LAYLA: Headfirst, even… It would be funny because of Terrance. He had a very fascinating thing happen to him, changed his life. He talked me into this. Well, not this, but…
MARTY: Tell me.
LAYLA: He used to be an actor.
MARTY: You don’t say.
LAYLA: I do. And he wasn’t very good from what he tells me. Also funny. It’s literally the only profession on the planet that people just decide to do. Everyone else takes time or school or both. Actors, they just wake up one day and think, “Hey, I got an idea.” But for no reason, I’ll be great at this. No you won’t. You’ll be really bad, and no one will tell you the truth, they’ll just say, “Ah, get ’em next time.”
MARTY: It’s like dating.
LAYLA: Totally. Anyway, he gets this gig on Broadway. Just a few lines, turns out he screws up really bad, so that should inform you of the kind of talent he was actually working with. Long story short, he makes a fool of himself and ends up at a dinner table later that night with his agent. You ever hear of the famous hairstylist guy who became a big Hollywood producer?
Marty has not.
LAYLA: Handed his business down to this really sexy handsome guy with a pompadour. Went from sweeping hair to owning a salon and sleeping with Playboy bunnies.
Marty waits.
LAYLA: This is relevant.
MARTY: I don’t know.
LAYLA: It is.
MARTY: I’m sure it is, I was saying I don’t know about the guy.
LAYLA: Oh. They made a movie of him with Warren Beatty about the shampoo. I mean, the guy. Anyway, what a rant. What I’m getting at is this is kind of what happened to Terrance. Kind of. His agent really fell for him that night, really took a liking. They made friends and he took Terrance under his wing, or wings. Is it both?
MARTY: I think it’s just one wing.
LAYLA: Wing. And Terrance became an agent. Great guy, great agent.
MARTY: He have a sister?
LAYLA: Yes.
MARTY: From Philadelphia?
LAYLA: What? You heard this one?
MARTY: I might have.
LAYLA: This isn’t an anecdote here. This is a true story I’m telling you and it’s relevant. This man’s life completely changed because he was in the right place at the right time. So what he said the wrong thing? That’s the point, and that’s why he is who he is, and that’s why I listen. The man has literally changed my life.
MARTY: I like this guy. Should we have another drink?
LAYLA: Yes.
A waitress slams two beers down on the table.
LIGHTS OUT